Tuesday, 19 May 2020

Week 41/42 - Grambling on orthinology


[Orthinology?  Don't you mean word botching? - Ed.]

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland.


Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

Apologies to all you regular readers out there that your favourite ill-informed blog hasn’t been around for a couple of weeks. I shall explain why next week. [Ooh. A mystery. I love a mystery. - Ed.] In the meantime, on with this week’s edition.

Does anyone out there in Gramblerland remember a situation comedy from over 40 years ago called The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin? It was about a middle class, middle-aged man in a middle-management job who was, basically, in the middle of a nervous breakdown. In order to escape the rat race, he decides to fake his own suicide and then live his life as somebody else entirely. It doesn’t seem like a source for any kind of comedy, but this well-written and equally well-performed look at one man’s way of dealing with a mid-life crisis was comedy gold and ran to four series. The last of these looked at how the show’s other characters dealt with Reginald Perrin’s death following the actual death of Leonard Rossiter who played Reggie.

33 years after the original series aired, the Beeb Beeb Ceeb remade it as Reggie Perrin which starred Martin Clunes as the title character.

Why am I telling you all of this? [Yes. Why? Yawn. - Ed.] Well, a running gag through the show was that someone would be speaking only to be totally drowned out by aircraft noise. After the noise had died away, another character would ask what he/she had just said and the answer was, ‘I see we’re on the flight path again.’ Okay, it doesn’t look particularly amusing when it is written down, but it was funny, honest... Perhaps you had to be there to appreciate the gag.

Any road up, this lockdown caper that we are all being advised to follow, must seem very strange to anyone who genuinely lives near an airport. No planes... other than crowded ones heading to Ireland. The last time anything like this occurred was back in 2010 when all planes were grounded thanks to the eruption of the Iceland volcano which went by the catchy name of Eyjafjallajökull.

Even better for everyone is the proliferation (That’s a good word. Must look it up.) of wildlife in places where it hasn’t been seen for years. Birds are returning to towns and cities up and down the country. It’s wonderful to see and hear them as they twitter merrily [I didn’t know birds had accounts. - Ed.]... ahem... away.

No it blibbing isn’t! We always have a problem at this time of year as birds fly over our garden with grub for their nippers. We have always been on the flight path. And what do birds do when they are in flight? They drop sh*t from a great height. Where does it land? On our washing that is hanging out to dry, that’s where. This year, because these feathered bombing machines have returned to the town in vast numbers, the problem is multiplied tenfold, at least. In other years there would have been the occasional direct hit but, this year, we can expect a couple or three for each line of washing. Either there are many more birds using our garden as part of the flightpath, or their aim is getting better. I don’t my telling you, I am getting a bit cheesed off with having to rewash all the clothing which has been pooed on.

For once, I won’t pretend that I have an answer. Well I do, but I’m not sure you can get a shotgun from Amozan?

 

 .....oooOooo.....

 

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or notorious individuals born on the 9th of May? Of course there were. Here are some that even I know.

Adam Opel 1837 (Engineer. Founded the company that bears his name. [Not since they changed the name to Starburst. - Ed.]), J.M. Barrie 1860 (Orfer who popularised the name Wendy.), Howard Carter 1874 (Grave robber.), Henry J. Kaiser 1882 (Shipbuilder.), May Warden 1891 (Ectress. Miss Sophie in Dinner for One. Her.), Barbara Woodhouse 1910 (Dog whisperer.), Scott Symon 1911 (Fitba guy.), Frank Chacksfield 1914 (Musician. Have a clip. Here’s Little Red Monkey from 1953.  Factoid - That was the first time a tune featuring an electronic instrument entered the charts. Educational, this is.), Arthur English 1919 (Actor/comedian.), Richard Adams 1920 (Orfer. Wrote that one about rabbits.), Sheila Burrell 1922 (Ectress, luvvie.), Barbara New 1923 (Jobbing actress in many Beeb Beeb Ceeb comedy productions.), Pancho Gonzales 1928 (Tennisy bloke.), Joan Sims 1930 (Actress, most famously in the Carry On series of films; she appeared in 24.), Jan Holden 1931 (Another jobbing actress who appeared in many British shows from the fifties through to the seventies. Factoid - She is Amanda Holden’s great aunt.), David Plastow 1932 (Businessman. Chairman of Rolls-Royce Motors from 1972-1980. [Trust you to know that. Anorak! - Ed.]), Geraldine McEwan 1932 (Ectress, luvvie. One of many to have played Miss Marple.), Alan Bennett 1934 (Actor and orfer.), Roger Hargreaves 1935 (Originator of the Mister Men series of children’s books.), Albert Finney 1936 (Ectaw, dear leddie.), Glenda Jackson 1936 (Actress. Then politician. Then actress again.), Terry Downes 1936 (Boxy bloke.), Ion Țiriac 1939 (Jucator de tenis.), James L. Brooks 1940 (Director, Producer and screenwriter. He has been executive producer of The Simpsons since it started in 1989.), Dorothy Hyman 1941 (Runny bloke.), Tommy Roe 1942 (Singer. Have a clip... I’m feeling a bit wobbly...giddy even... or perhaps dizzy), Rita May 1942 (Actress. Margaret in Trollied. Her.), Vince Cable 1943 (Politician. Ex leader of the Liberal Democrats. [He held them together. Geddit? Cable? Held togeth... I’ll get me coat. - Ed.]), Tony Prince 1944 (Radio DJ. Used to be on Radio Luxembourg when I were a nipper.), Steve Katz 1945 (Member of Messrs Blood, Sweat and Tears... not sure which one he was. They seem happy, anyway.), Candice Bergen 1946 (Actress.), Malcolm Nash 1946 (Crickety bloke.), Anthony Higgins 1947 (Jobbing actor seen in many British film and TV productions.), Billy Joel 1949 (Musician. Have a clip. This reached number 136 in the Yuk top 40... Hang on, that can’t be right. Here’s Piano Man.), Tom Petersson 1950 (A bit of Cheap Trick. Here, live is Eight Miles Low.), Matthew Kelly 1950 (Actor. Cyril Babcock in Benidorm. Him.), Juliet Cadzow 1951 (Actress. Edie McCredie in Balamory. Her.), Patrick Ryecart 1952 (Ectaw. The Duke of Norfolk in The Crown. Him.), Jane Booker 1956 (Another jobbing actress who crops up in loads of British films and telly and stuff.), Tessa Peake-Jones 1957 (Actress. Raquel in Only Fools and Horses. Her.), Tracey Brabin 1961 (Actress turned politician. Tricia Armstrong in Corrie. Her.), Sal Solo 1961 (His birth name was either Charles Smith or Chris Stevens; Wikipedia can’t decide which. Anyway, he is a singer. Here’s San Damiano.), Paul Heaton 1962 (Singer/songwriter. The Grauniad likes him... ‘one of our finest songwriters: his music reveals an exuberant ear for melody, his lyrics a keen eye and a brilliant wit’ Have a clip. This is The Ladder's Bottom Rung. Great title.), Dave Gahan 1962 (Depeche Mode frontman for 40 years. Here’s a solo hit with another great title, Dirty Sticky Floors.), Simon Evans 1965 (Comedian.), Don Goodman 1966 (Footy bloke. Ex-Motherwell player. Yay! Known as The Don... at least at Fir Park he was.), Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock 1968 (Footy bloke. Now appearing on any celebrity show near you.), Peter Wilkinson 1968 (Jobbing bassist. Here he is with Echo, not forgetting those Bunnymen, playing Stormy Weather. Actually, you don’t see him, but he is in there strumming away.), Joy Brook 1969 (Actress. WPC Kerry Holmes in The Bill. Her.), Jason Lee 1971 (Footy bloke.), Don Hutchison 1971 (Foo’y blurk.), Paul McGuigan 1971 (One time bassist with Oasis. Have a clip. Here’s Phil Tufnell introducing them playing Raul wiv it.  They are mad for it, apparently.  You can't argue with facts like that.), Martin Lewis 1972 (Financial guru.), Gillian Kearney 1972 (Actress. Emma Barton in Emmerdale. Her.), Sally Carman 1981 (Actress. Abi Franklin in Corrie. Her.), Laura Muir 1993 (Runny bloke.) and Beth Mead 1995 (Footy bloke.).

What about May the 16th? Let’s see now...

Mary Gordon 1882 (Actress. What do you mean you’ve never heard of her? She was in over 300 films, for goodness’ sake.), Richard Tauber 1891 (Chanter. Here’s You Are My Heart's Desire.), Henry Fonda 1905 (Actor.), H. E. Bates 1905 (Orfer. Darling Buds of May, that was one of his.), Studs Terkel 1912 (Orfer.), Woody Herman 1913 (Musician. Have a clip. You might recognise this.), Wilf Mannion 1918 (Footy bloke.), Liberace 1919 (Wig-wearing player of the joanna. Have a clip. This is the Bumble Boogie.), Glen Michael 1926 (Wig-wearing actor and children’s entertainer.), Brian Trueman 1932 (TV presenter. Don’t think he wore a wig.), Roy Hudd 1936 (Comedian.), Billy Cobham 1944 (Drummer. How about some jehhhzzz... Here's Stratus.), Nicky Chinn 1945 (Songwriter. With Mike Chapman he composed many a 70s hit. Here’s one they wrote for Mud, Dynamite.), Bob Young 1945 (Musician. He wrote a few ‘its for Status Quo... but here is a track from the Young & Moody Band called These Eyes), Robert Fripp 1946 (Musician. Fancy a bit of ambient. Here he is with a certain Mr Eno performing The Heavenly Music Corporation), Darrell Sweet 1947 (Drummy bloke with Nazareth. Have a clip. Here is Star.), Jesper Christensen 1948 (Skuespiller. Hr. Hvid. Hej M.), Judy Finnegan 1948 (TV presenter. As in Richard &...), Christian Lacroix 1951 (Posh dress maker.), Pierce Brosnan 1953 (Actor. James number five... or is it six?), Hazel O’Connor 1955 (Actress/singer. Here’s Will You. [Will I what? - Ed.] Groan...), Glenn Gregory 1958 (Frontman of Heaven 17. Have a clip. Here he is being crushed by the wheels of industry), Andrew Innes 1962 (Musician. Rhythm guitarist in Primal Scream and also went on to form Revolving Paint Dream and recorded this rather upbeat song, Flowers in the Sky.), Rebecca Front 1964 (Actress/comedian.), Milton Jones 1964 (Comedian.), Mary Anne Hobbs 1964 (DJ.), Vincent Regan 1965 (Jobbing actor that seems to be involved in most UK dramas at some point.), Janet Jackson 1966 (Singer. A clip? What have you done for her lately?), Gabriela Sabatini 1970 (Jugadora de tenis.), Simon Katz 1971 (Part of Jamiroquai... though not the cat in the hat... and Gorillaz. Let’s have some high times with Jamiroquai.), Karen Ramirez 1971 (Singer. Here’s her biggest ‘it, Looking for Love. [Where do you think you left it?  Have you tried down the sofa? - Ed.]), Richard Blackwood 1972 (Actor/presenter.), Rupert Young 1978 (Actor. Sir Leon in Merlin. Him.), Jim Sturgess 1978 (Actor/singer/songwriter. First starring role was in Across the Universe. And? And he sang a few songs, so let’s have a clip. All My Loving with Spanish subtitles. Yay!), Joseph Morgan 1981 (Actor. Klaus in The Vampire Diaries. Him.) and Tom Stourton 1987 (Actor. Horrible Histories. He’s in that.).

 

I’ve received a letter...

 

Dear Mr Gramblerambler,

We are great fans of Jamiamiraquai. Indeed, we have both loved Jammiammiraquoi since their very first record, When You Gonna Learn. Jammyammyquire aren’t so popular these days, but I recall they actually once had a number one record. Can you remember what it was called?

Yours sincerileerily,


"Nice hat."
"I'm not wearing a hat."

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Once again, there is nothing for The Grambler to predict this week, so let’s move straight on to....

 

Teaser time. Yay! How did you get on with your five questions?

1. Who am I?

I was born on the 15th of June 1992. I started my senior career at Al Mokawloon. In the 2012 Olympics I was named CAF Most Promising African Talent of the year. My current club paid a then-club record of £36.9 million for me. The fans’ nickname for me is the Pharaoh.

Answer : Mohamed Salah

2. What do the following clubs have in common?

Bristol City, Charlton Athletic, Cheltenham Town and Swindon Town.

Answer: Their nicknames all feature robins - sh*tt*ng little b*st*rds! [Calm down. - Ed.]

3. France won the 1998 World Cup Final against Brazil 3 nil. France played the last 22 minutes with ten men; which player was red-carded?

Answer: Marcel Desailly

4. Who was the first to receive the FIFA World Player of the Year award (1991)?

Answer: Lothar Matthäus

5. Which US player has scored the most Premier League goals?

Answer: Clint Dempsey

 

Five for this week? Here goes...

1. Who am I?

I was born in Gosforth on the 13th of August 1970. I joined my first club, Premier League side Southampton, in 1986. I spent my entire professional playing career in the English Premier League. I played over 300 games for my last club, Newcastle, and my statue now stands outside St. James’ Park.

2. Since 1967 there have been six London derby finals. Can you name the three teams that have each won twice?

3. Bayern Munich is by far the most successful German side in domestic competitions having won the German Football League Championship 29 times, but can you name the second most successful club which has lifted the league trophy nine times?

4. Everton have worn blue shirts since 1892, but what colour of shirt were they wearing prior to that?

5. Who was the last Irish player to receive Manchester City’s player of the year award?

 

There you go; five teasers to consider... without resorting to Googly.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, also take the time to click on this link, an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).  That figure is now a little out of date as the total raised for the Bobby Moore Fund is currently £54,302.

 

…..oooOooo…..
 

 

And finally Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted to a Ms J. Jackson who provides us with this week’s closing clip. How about a factoid first? The story behind YouTube’s beginnings. [Sorry pardon excuse me? Is this relevant? - Ed.] Indeed it is. The company was started in 2005 by Steve Chen, Chad Hurley and Jawed Karim. Karim says that his reason for starting the business was because of his inability to find a particular clip online. You know how whenever there is a hint of scandal these days, somebody invariably sticks gate onto the end of a suitable word? Well, here is the clip that Karim was desperate to see; an incident that became known as Nipplegate. Seriously. Nipplegate. I ask you. Who would have thought that a business as huge as YouTube grew from such pervy beginnings. Huge? Definitely. It was sold to Google a year and a half after its formation for $1.65 billion. Not a bad little earner.

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.

 

Saturday, 2 May 2020

Week 39/40 - The Grambler cleans up


Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland.


Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

Who remembers when you were a kid and you splooshed a bit of Fairy liquid (or, indeed, any other brand of washing up liquid; this blog is certainly not about product placement.) in the bath to make bubbles? [Uh oh. Hovis time. Cue New World Symphony - Ed.] Just me, then. We didn't have special bubble bath. None of your Matey, matey. It was washing up liquid or nothing. Well, not quite nothing... I recall my mother putting soap powder in on occasion... It was blibbing dangerous stuff, that. You couldn't stand up to get out, it was so slippery. Not recommended. Anyway, back to the plot [There's a plot? - Ed.] having had a splash about, it would be time to actually wash yourself... You had to make a good job of this as it would be your only bath for a week. So you take a bar of soap and a flannel and... What's happening? Where have all the bubbles gone? What sorcery is this?

Of course, once I went to secondary school [Bath? School? You're havering. - Ed.]... Bear with me... I studied chemistry and understood that soap neutralises detergent (the washing up liquid) and that was why the bubbles disappeared... Something like that.

So what has that got to do with this week's gramble? Not a lot other than I am going to give some very useful advice to you. Yes. Again. Two weeks running. Seriously. Real, actual, sage advice. Possibly.

It is with regard to the directive that we have been given to wash our hands regularly. Excellent advice especially at this time of an escalating pandemic. The trouble is, I have found that I am washing my hands at least a dozen times each day. Thus, the skin on my hands, what was left of it, was becoming dry and covered in hacks. My hands were also bloody sore, I can tell you.

Where is this leading, I hear you ask. [Yes. Where? - Ed.] Well, a few years back I stayed in a small b and b [Oh for goodness' sake! Now, where are we going? - Ed.] and there was no shower gel. [What! Nurse, I think it's time for his medication. - Ed.] Any road up, there was a bottle of hand wash, so I decided to use it when I was taking a shower. Oh dear. Bad move. You see, the detergent that is used in hand wash is a lot more concentrated than shower gel and has all sorts of additives to make it more abrasive. My entire body was stinging as if I had run naked through nettles. [Is that something you do, then? - Ed.]

I now come to the point of this week's gramble. [About time. - Ed.] For the past few days, I have been avoiding hand wash detergent and, instead, have resorted to using a bar of soap. Wright’s Coal Tar, actually. [No product placement? - Ed.] Guess what. The hacks have disappeared. My hands are no longer sore. So, my advice to you good folk out there in gramblerland is this. Avoid using hand wash to... erm... wash your hands. Use a bar of soap. Real soap; none of this ‘beauty bar’ nonsense. If it doesn’t say soap on the label, then it probably isn’t. Instead it is just detergent in a solid form. Basically, soap is far gentler on the skin than detergent. That’s the stuff to use.

I should point out that I am not being paid by the makers of Wright’s Coal Tar Soap to write this glowing testimony. Absolutely not. There will be no product placement in this blog... but if they want to bung a few bars my way, I wouldn’t say no. No, perish the thought, I would never promote a product in the hope of receiving the odd wee freebie. No. Never. Mind you...

Anyway, gramblerinis, remember this... detergent is great for cleaning... as long as it isn't used on the skin. Simple as that.

 

.....oooOooo.....

Have you all been keeping up to date with the government advice regarding the things you can and can’t do at this time of lockdown? Good, I’m glad to hear it.

One of the things that we were told at the start some five weeks ago was that anyone in lockdown could only leave the house for one hour’s exercise per day and should only go to shop once per week. Once per week. Got that? Why do I emphasise this point?

Yesterday there was a news item that a high-heid-yin of a well known supermarket was reporting that shopping habits had changed during the lockdown. Chiefs were surprised that people were resorting to a style of shopping that was popular many years ago and that they now did a single ‘big’ shop each week.

Now, I may not be the brightest button in the box but even I can spot the reason for that... or have I missed something?

 

Remember this in your weekly shop
 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?
Were any famous or notorious individuals born on the 25th of April? Of course there were and here are some I have actually heard of. Edward II (The well-known king. The one that lost the Battle of Bannockburn. Him.), Oliver Cromwell 1599 (The well-known Lord Protector.), C. B. (Charles Burgess) Fry 1872 (Sportsman, politician, diplomat, academic, teacher, writer, editor and publisher... In fact, a right old smarty boots.), Guglielmo Marconi 1874 (The well-known inventor of the wireless.), Stanley Rous 1895 (The well-known president of FIFA.), Ella Fitzgerald 1917 (‘The First Lady of Song’. Have a clip. This was her highest placed hit in the Yuk, The Swinging Shepherd Blues.), Brian Fahey 1919 (Composer. A few of you of a certain age might recognise this. I feel a top ten coming on...
Greetings pop pickers!
At number ten in this week’s most-overused-words-or-phrases-associated-with-coronavirus chart, it’s FURLOUGH.
At number nine, it’s SELF-ISOLATION.
Up to number eight and it’s LOCKDOWN. Not arf.
Dropping down two places to number seven, that’s UNPRECEDENTED. Certainly is.
Staying at number errr six, it’s time for a bit of SOCIAL DISTANCING.
Up to number five, don’t forget PPE.
Straight in at number four, it’s POSSIBLE VACCINE.
Dropping one place to number three, yes it’s that NON-ESSENTIAL TRAVEL.
And last week’s number one drops down to number two, it’s those good old ESSENTIAL WORKERS.
And straight into this week’s chart at number one, it’s the one and only DISINFECTANT. Orl right? Right.
Stay bright.),
On with the birthday honours... Dick Sharples [Sounds painful. - Ed.] 1921 (Screenwriter.), Albert King 1923 (Influential geetarist. Here he wants a job in the car industry), Paul Whitsun-Jones 1923 (Actor isn’t it. One of those faces that seemed to be in every British TV production in the 1960s.), Sam Alper 1924 (Caravan builder. Sprite caravans. Them.), Dickie Dale 1927 (Motorcycle racey bloke.), Albert Uderzo 1927 (Cartoonist famous for co-creating Asterix the Gaul.), James MacTaggart 1928 (TV producer, director and writer.), Paddy Feeny 1931 (Broadcaster.), David Shepherd 1931 (Artist.), Meadowlark Lemon 1932 (Baskety bally bloke.), William Roache 1932 (Actor. Has played Ken Barlow in Corrie since 1960.), Jerry Leiber 1933 (Songwriter who, working in the Brill Building, with co-writer Mike Stoller wrote many popular songs. Here’s an early one, Searchin.), Patrick Anson, 5th Earl of Lichfield 1939 (Posh snapper.), Al Pacino 1940 (Actor.), Tony Christie 1943 (Chanter. A clip? Okay. All together now... When the day is dawning... Nice moves there, Tone.), John Ogwen 1944 (Actor isn’t it.), Len Goodman 1944 (Ballroom dancer.), Stu Cook 1945 (A bit of Creedence Clearwater Revival. Have a clip. If you can’t see them it’s because they’re up around the bend.), Björn Ulvaeus 1945 (Musician. A B in ABBA. [I'm sure he wasn't that bad. - Ed.] Here’s a clip from his solo days.), Dave Lawson 1945 (Musician. Once a part of Greenslade. A clip? Indeed. Here’s Temple Song.), Digby Fairweather 1946 (Musician. Here he seems to be having fun.), Johan Cruyff 1947 (Voetbal man.), Howard Williams 1947 (Conductor.), Jonathan Powell 1947 (TV producer.), Steve Ferrone 1950 (Jobbing drummer. He has featured in Oblivion Express, Average White Band, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and has worked with George Harrison, Chaka Khan, Duran Duran, Peter Frampton, Bee Gees, Cydi Lauper, The Power Station, Scritti Politti, Brian May, Anita Baker, George Benson, Jonathan Butler Brian Ferry, Clymie Fisher, Eric Clapton, Rick James, Whitney Houston, Freddie King, Tracy Chapman, Pat Metheny, Steve Winwood, Jeffrey Osborne, Paul Simon to name but some. Quite a CV there, Steve. Here’s a funky little toon featuring the man himself, Gimme some. Not unless you ask nicely.), David Spinx 1951 (Actor. Used to play Keith Miller in Eastenders.), Buster Mottram 1955 (Tennisy bloke.), Eric Bristow 1957 (Darts bloke known as the Crafty Cockney.), Fish 1958 (Singer. Let’s have an early toon from his time with Marillion.  Incidentally, he isn't a real fish.  Just thought I would clarify that for you.), Billy Rankin 1959 (Geetarist. Here’s Baby Come Back... No, not that one.), Robert Peston 1960 (TV journalist who talks REALLY LOUD one minute, then really quietly then LOUD again. Then quiet again. Arrgh!!!), David Moyes 1963 (Footy bloke.), Hank Azaria 1964 (Actor famous for his voice as Moe, Apu and Chief Wiggum in The Simpsons.), Andy Bell 1964 (Singer. Half of Erasure. Let’s have a clip.  Have a little respect.), Fiona Bruce 1964 (Newsreader.), Shivani Ghai 1975 (Actress. She was Ayesha Rana in Eastenders.), Ben Johnston 1980 (Musician. A bit of Biffy Clyro. Here he is drumming like Animal from the Muppets on That Golden Rule. Twin brother of...), James Johnston 1980 (Musician. A bit of Biffy Clyro... blah blah blah.) and Monty Panesar 1982 (Crickety bloke.).
Now then, what about the 2nd of May? Jerome K. Jerome 1859 (Orfer.), Norma Talmadge 1894 (Actress in films of the silent era.), Lorenz Hart 1895 (Lyricist. They can’t touch you for it.), Henry Hall 1898 (Bandleader. This was his signature toon.), Brian Aherne 1902 (Actor.), Benjamin Spock 1903 (First officer on the Enterprise.), Bill Brandt 1904 (Snapper.), Nigel Patrick 1912 (Ectaw, dear leddie.), Peggy Mount 1915 (Actress.), Joe ‘Mr Piano’ Henderson 1920 (Pianist. [Get away! - Ed.] Here he is... erm... playing the old joanna. Well, that was... erm... yes, definitely.), Satyajit Ray 1921 (Bollywood film maker.), John Neville 1925 (Ectaw, dear leddie.), Clive Jenkins 1926 (Trade unionist isn’t it.), Ray Barrett 1927 (Strine ector.), Fred ‘Link’ Wray 1929 (Musician. A clip? Have a quick rumble. First released in 1958, that was.), Lynda Lee-Potter 1935 (Journo.), Engelbert Humperdinck 1936 (Rerr chanter. Howzabout a clip. Here’s Ten Guitars. [Here are ten guitars, surely. - Ed.] Don’t call me Shirley.), Lorenzo Music 1937 (Actor. The original voice of Garfield.), Mairi Hedderwick 1939 (Orfer. You know the Katie Morag stories? No? Oh. Well, she writes them.), Peter Dean 1939 (Ector, inny. Pete Beale in Eastenders. Him.), Paul Darrow 1941 (Actor. Kerr Avon in Blake’s 7. Him.), Bianca Jagger 1945 (Once married to Mick. Erm... That’s it.), Alexander Hughes 1945 (Who? Oh, Judge Dread. Who? Musician. Has the distinction of having more singles banned by the Beeb Beeb Ceeb than any other artist. Do you want to hear one of those singles? Okay. If you must. You have been warned. Subtle it is not. Actually, I'd have banned it too... but only because it is crap.), David Suchet 1946 (Ectaw, dear leddie. Poirot. Him.), Bruce Robinson 1946 (Screenwriter and director. Withnail and I, that was one of his.), Lesley Gore 1946 (Singer. Here’s her big hit.), James Dyson (Jems Vecuum-Cleaner to readers of this blog) 1947 (Inventor, it says here.), Alan Titchmarsh 1949 (Gardener.), John Glascock aka Brittle Dick 1951 (Bassist. He was with Jethro Tull, you know. No, no. I couldn’t possibly give you a clip... Oh, go on, then... Here’s Hunting Girl.), Jo Callis 1951 (Who? Luke Warm. Oh yeah... Who? Guitarist with the Rezillos. He was on Top of the Pops. Anyone else reminded of Here we go Looby Loo?), Phil Rose 1952 (Actor. Friar Tuck in Robin of Sherwood. Him.), Isla St Clair 1952 (Singer and game show hostess... I mean she was a hostess on a game show... not that she was ga... Erm... Have a clip. Here’s Flowers of the Forest.), Willie Miller 1955 (Fitba guy.), Donatella Versace 1955 (Don’t tell Versace what?), David Rhodes 1956 (Geetarist. Has worked with many acts including Talk Talk, Joan Armatrading, Toni Childs, Paul McCartney, Tim Finn, Roy Orbison and Julia Fordham. He has worked with Peter Gabriel on several albums, so here is one you might recognise. All together now... You could have a steam train... ), David O’Leary 1958 (Footy bloke.), Gary Megson 1959 (Footy bloke.), Stephen Daldry 1960 (Producer and director. That Billy Elliot film. Him.), Jimmy White 1962 (Snookery bloke.), Andre Vincent 1964 (Comedian.), David McAlmont 1967 (Singer. Here he is with... is that Bernard Butler? Yes.), Brian Lara 1969 (Crickety bloke.), Ben Leach 1969 (A bit of the Farm. Have a clip. Here with special guest Ian McCaskill is Groovy Train.), Dwayne Johnson 1972 (Actor, it says here.), Matt Berry 1974 (Actor and comedian. Laszlo Cravensworth in What We Do in the Shadows. Him.), Andy Johnson 1974 (Footy bloke isn’t it.), Joe Wilkinson 1975 (Comedian.), David Beckham 1975 (Footy bloke inc.), Dave Mackay 1981 (Fitba guy.), Chris Kirkland 1981 (Footy bloke.), Amanda Barr 1982 (Footy bloke.), Lily Allen 1985 (Singer, songwriter and orfer. Have a clip. Go on, smile. She released a song called F*** You which, not surprisingly, only got to number 104 in the Yuk charts. It was, however, a top ten hit in Holland and Switzerland and in Belgium it reached number one. Perhaps it translates as something different over there.), Laurie Duncan 1991 (Actor. Callum Kane in Hollyoaks. Him.), Josh Bolt 1994 (Actor. Raff Greenwood in Last Tango in Halifax. Him.) and Princess Charlotte of Cambridge 2015 (The well-known fourth-in-line to the throne person.).
 
I’ve received a letter...
 
Dear Mr Bungle,
I am a great fan of ABBA and wondered if you could help me. I have all the singles and albums produced by them. I know most of their singles went to number one in the UK charts, but what was their first album to achieve top of the chart status?
Yours gratefully,
R. Ival.
 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Once again, there is nothing for The Grambler to predict this week, so let’s move straight on to....
 
Teaser time. Yay! How did you get on with your five questions?
1. Who am I?
I was born on the 11th January 1987 in Sheffield and began my playing career at Sheffield Wednesday. I have been with my current club for eight years. Before turning professional I was a technician making medical splints. It has been reported that I do not use the gym and that I drink Red Bull energy drink. In 2015, it was possible to buy crisps with a flavour named in my honour.
Answer: It is obvious really. Jamie Vardy
2. Which Scottish club was formed in 2002 and entered the Second Division that year when its owners bought the assets of Clydebank F.C.
Answer: Airdrie United, later to regain use of the Airdrionians name.
3. Old Trafford has the highest capacity of any club’s stadium in Britain; which club stadium has the second-highest capacity?
Answer: Celtic Park
4. Who is this famous footballer?
 

 

Answer: Ronaldo.  Better hairstyle now.
 
5. Sergio Aguero has scored more Premier League goals than any other player from the Americas; who is the next highest scorer?
Answer: Dwight Yorke (Trinidad & Tobago)
 
Five more? Here goes...
1. Who am I?
I was born on the 15th of June 1992. I started my senior career at Al Mokawloon. In the 2012 Olympics I was named CAF Most Promising African Talent of the year. My current club paid a then-club record of £36.9 million for me. The fans’ nickname for me is the Pharaoh.
2. What do the following clubs have in common?
Bristol City, Charlton Athletic, Cheltenham Town and Swindon Town.
3. France won the 1998 World Cup Final against Brazil 3 nil. France played the last 22 minutes with ten men; which player was red-carded?
4. Who was the first to receive the FIFA World Player of the Year award (1991)?
5. Which US player has scored the most Premier League goals?
 
There you go; five teasers to consider... without resorting to Googly.
 

.....oooOooo.....

 

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....
 

Please, also take the time to click on this link, an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

 

And finally Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted to... well, it was going to be a parody of Donald Trump, but then he came away with all that sh... rubbish about drinking Domestos and I realised that he is funnier than the mickey takers. He can’t be for real. Inject disinfectant? He can’t possibly be that stupid... can he?
Any road up, here, instead, is a selection of sketches from Matt Berry. Why not. They do feature some naughty words, so if that offends you, then fu... [Stop right there. - Ed.] Ladeez and genullum, Matt Berry.

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.
 
Happy grambling.
 

Saturday, 18 April 2020

Week 37/38 - Return of the gramblerplan


Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland.


Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

 

Who remembers the gramblerplan diet (the diet that really works)? Those of you who have stuck with the world's greatest ill-informed blog since the early days will recall its mantra... Eat less. Exercise more. Pretty radical, huh?

Why do I mention the gramblerplan diet (the diet that really works)? Well, during the lockdown because of the Covid-19 virus, we in the Yuk have been told that we may only leave the house once a day and that should be to take one hour's exercise.

What about the rest of the day? It's no good sitting on your bahooky all day long watching antiques programmes and quiz shows. You need to be doing some sort of exercise to keep weight gains at bay. This is where the gramblerplan diet (the diet that really works) comes in. How so, I hear you ask.

There are certain rules to obey to make the diet a success. The first is to be disorganised. Sorry pardon excuse me? Yes be totally disorganised. For example, perhaps you need to go upstairs for a few things. Well, instead of carrying all of them down at the one time, bring one item down at a time. Need to go to the bathroom to brush your teeth and have a tinkle? Go upstairs, have your tinkle, then come back downstairs. After doing that, go back upstairs to brush your teeth. Probably best to do those activities in that order... we don't want any little accidents.

Do you hang out washing? Here's what to do. Place the washing basket well away from the line and hang the peg bag somewhere well away from the line but also well away from the washing basket. [Nurse, I think it's time for his medication. - Ed.] No no no. Bear with me. Thus, you have formed a large triangle on your washing green. You then go to the washing basket, remove only one item, then walk to the peg bag for sufficient pegs just for that item. Then head to the line and hang up said item. Repeat this procedure for each item to be hung out to dry. So if you have, say, twenty items, you will cover your triangular route twenty times... think how far you will be walking each time you hang out a load of washing. Incidentally, it looks okay if you are doing the ‘circuit’ with a large item such as a bedsheet, but it begins to look silly when the items get somewhat smaller. Do not be tempted to take more than one item. If you have to peg one sock on the line, so be it; carry just one sock from basket to peg bag to line. If you get funny looks from the neighbours, offer to do something obscene to them with a clothes pole. [Don’t. - Ed.]

Ah, I hear you say, won't using such a method take ages. And your point is caller? You're in lockdown. You've got plenty of time to pass.

Another tip from the gramblerplan diet (the diet that really works) is to fidget. Eh? Yes, fidget. Don't sit on a chair like a sack of potatoes. Fidget. Move your legs and arms about. Okay, you'll look a right twonk to anybody who sees you... but, then, nobody will actually see you. You're self-isolating. Remember?

Dynamic tension; that's another way to keep fit. What the f... What's dynamic tension, I hear you ask. It is the method of building up muscle not by lifting weights or using weight training apparatus, but by pitting muscle against muscle. An example would be to link your hands together and then try hard to pull them apart. Keep pulling for about ten seconds and then release. Wait about a minute, then repeat. Do that a few times and you should feel better for it.

Another similar exercise is to breathe out so that your lungs are as empty as possible and pull your stomach in as far as possible and hold that position for about ten seconds before breathing in again. Do that every minute or so and you should soon feel the burn as some over zealous keep fit types would say. [Feel the bum? Oh, feel the burn. I misread that. Sorry. Just ignore me. - Ed.] I always do.

Of course, having too much time on your hands can tempt you into snacking on rubbish. Obviously you shouldn't. The gramblerplan diet (the diet that really works) tells us to do something, anything, and don't eat while you are doing it. If you are concentrating on an activity, you shouldn't feel any need to eat. Makes sense to me, anyway. If you feel hungry, have a drink of water. That actually does help to ward off hunger.

Remember to eat only at set times. This time of being forced to stay in should give you the chance to practice your cooking skills. Don't eat processed, packaged food full of additives and sugar; make your own meals using raw ingredients. Sensible, yes? Yes. Very.

So, all this time spent being disorganised, fidgeting and cooking should make lockdown a doddle.

If you are trying to lose weight using the gramblerplan diet (the diet that really works), remember to give to charity. Many organisations are struggling at the moment and could do with some funds. The gramblerplan diet (the diet that really works) suggests that you give £1 for every pound in weight that you lose. The flipside of this is that, if you slack and actually gain weight you should give £2 to charity for every pound you put on.

Thus, you are encouraged to lose weight by being forced to give more money to the charity if you don't. Everybody wins. Yay!

Go to it my little gramblerinis... Not so little, perhaps.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....
 

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or notorious individuals born on the 11th of April? Of course there were and here are some I have actually heard of. Jack Philips 1887 (Wireless operator on the Titanic.), Freddie Grisewood 1888 (Radio presenter... He presented shows on the radio, he didn’t present radios. I’ll get me coat.), Paul Douglas 1907 (Actor.), Bobby Liddle 1908 (Footy bloke.), Dan Maskell 1908 (Tennisy bloke. Oh, I say.), Clive Exton 1930 (TV and film scriptwriter.), Ronald Fraser 1930 (Ectaw. ‘Badger’ Allenby-Johnson in The Misfit. Him.), Joel Gray 1932 (Actor.), Derek Martin 1933 (Actor. Charlie Slater in Eastenders. Him.), Ron Pember 1934 (Actor. Dennis Timson in Rumpole of the Bailey. Him.), Jill Gascoine 1937 (Actress. Maggie Forbes in C.A.T.S. Eyes. Her.), Shirley Stelfox 1941 (Actress. Rose in Keeping Up Appearances. Her.), Damien Thomas 1942 (Actor.), ‘Whispering’ Bob Harris 1946 (TV and radio presenter.), Nicholas Ball 1946 (Actor. Hazell. Him.), Roger Pritchard 1949 (Who? Better known as Lee Sheriden. Oh right. Who? A quarter of Brotherhood of Man. Time for a clip. All together now... Though it hurts to go away...), Jim Holton 1951 (Fitba guy.), Paul Fox 1951 (A Rut. Here he is playing geetar on Babylon's Burning.), Wayne Laryea 1952 (Actor.), Davie Armour 1953 (Fitba guy.), Neville Staple 1955 (A Special, then a bit of Fun Boy Three. A clip? Here’s Our Lips Are Sealed.), Stuart Adamson 1958 (A Big Country member... I’ll leave you to supply the punchline. Meanwhile, have a clip. Here’s their first biggie... Fields of Fire.), David Lowe 1959 (Composer. Never heard anything he’s written?  You have, you know.), Jeremy Klaxon 1960 (Uh journalist and uh TV uh presenter who uh now uh presents uh Who Wants uh to be uh Millionaire.), Mark Lawson 1962 (Broadcaster.), Kate Anthony 1964 (Actress. Pam Hobsworth in Corrie. Her.), Lynn Ferguson 1965 (Actress. Sister of Craig.), Lisa Stansfield 1966 (Rerr chanter. All together now... Bin around the world an aye aye aye...), Cerys Matthews 1969 (Singer and radio presenter isn’t it. Here’s her first chart hit with Catatonia.), Delroy Pearson 1970 (A star... Well, a member of Five Star. Have a clip. Here’s All Fall Down. Not sure of Delroy’s input there, other than to dance about for the video... See Bez, below.), Anthony Flanagan 1972 (Actor. Tony in Shameless. Him.), Zoe Lucker 1974 (Actress. Vanessa Gold in Eastenders. Her.), Christopher Coghill 1975 (Actor. Tony King in Eastenders. Him.), Will Tudor 1987 (Actor. Olyvar in Game of Thrones. Him.), Joss Stone 1987 (Chanter. Have a clip. You had me. [I did not. - Ed.]), Dele Alli 1996 (Footy bloke.) and Dean Cornelius 2001 (Fitba guy. In Motherwell’s squad.).

What about April the 18th? Clarence Darrow 1857 (Lawyer. Looked nothing like Spencer Tracy, or Kevin Spacey.), Leopold Stokowski 1882 (Conductor.), Al Lewis 1901 (Lyricist. Wrote Blueberry Hill as well as this.), Eric Spear 1908 (Composer. You’ve never heard anything he’s written?  You have, you know.), Sidney Vivian 1908 (Actor), Robert Wiseman 1916 (Milkman. From Polomint City. I used to play bowls with him.), Avril Angers 1918 (Actress/comedienne. Factoid: She appeared alongside Terry-Thomas in Britain’s first ever comedy series, How Do You View in 1949.), Nigel Kneale 1922 (Screenwriter specialising in science fiction and horror thrillers. Created the character of Professor Quatermass.), David Whitaker 1928 (Screenwriter for early Doctor Who programmes.), Peter Jeffrey 1929 (Actor. One of those faces that cropped up in all sorts of Beeb Beeb Ceeb comedies and dramas of the 70s and 80s. Usually played a baddie.), Eddie Stobart 1929 (He of haulage company fame.), Angus Lennie 1930 (Actor. Archibald Ives in The Great Escape. Him.), Clive Revill 1930 (Actor.), Harold Innocent 1933 (Actor. Another whose face seemed to be everywhere on 70s and 80s TV.), Mark Kingston 1933 (Actor. Tom, husband of Beryl, in Beryl’s Lot. Him.), David Cunliffe 1935 (TV producer. One of his shows was... Beryl’s Lot.), Kenneth Farrington 1936 (Actor. Billy Walker in Corry. Him.), Teddy Taylor 1937 (Politician. Famously appeared on Have I Got News For You under the impression that it was a serious political programme. Ended up looking a right tw*t.), Mike Vickers 1940 (Musician. A bit of Manfred Mann. Here he plays a mean flute on Without You.), Norman Giller 1940 (Sports writer.), Carolyn Jones 1941 (Actress. Sharon Metcalfe in Crossroads. Her.), Tony Reeves 1943 (Musician. Member of Colesseum and Greenslade. He also played bass on this John Martyn track, Bless the Weather.), Francis Bell 1944 (Actor. Max Ramsey in Neighbours. Him.), Hayley Mills 1946 (Actress.), James Woods 1947 (Actor.), Polly Brown 1947 (Singer with Pickettywitch and later Sweet Dreams who had a hit with an ABBA song, Honey Honey.  Ignore the nasty man at the start of the clip.), Kevin Finnegan 1948 (Boxy bloke.), Rick Moranis 1953 (Actor.), Eamonn Bannon 1958 (Fitba guy.), Les Pattinson 1958 (A Bunnyman. Have a clip. This is Killing Moon.), Victoria Wicks 1959 (Actress. Sally Smedley in Drop the Dead Donkey. Her.), Kelly Hansen 1961 (Foreign singer. Here he can't slow down), Shirlie Holliman 1962 (Half of Pepsi and Shirlie. A Clip. Here they have Heartache. Those fashions never really caught on. Wonder why.), Mark Berry aka Bez 1964 (Bloke what jumps about with the Happy Mondays and Black Grape. Here he is jumping about to Kinky Afro.), David Tennant 1971 (Actor. Doctor Who number 43.), Edgar Wright 1974 (Film director. Famous for the Cornetto Trilogy with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.), Sean Maguire 1976 (Actor and singer. Here’s Good Day.), Matthew Upson 1979 (Footy bloke.), Jamie Davis 1981 (Actor. Max Walker in Casualty. Him.), Stevie Murray 1983 (Wee fitba guy.), Łukasz Fabiański 1985 (Bramkarz.), Tom Hughes 1985 (Actor. Prince Albert in Victoria. [Sorry pardon excuse me? - Ed.] Him.), Maurice Edu 1986 (Soccer dude.), Mark Aldred 1987 (Rowy boaty bloke.), Vanessa Kirby 1988 (Actress. Princess Margaret in The Crown. Her.) and Divock Origi 1995 (Gars de football.)

 
 
 
 
 

I’ve received a letter...

 

Dear Mr Dongler,

I am a great fan of Echo and the Bunnymen and wondered which of their songs reached the highest chart position. Can you help?

Yours with knobs on,

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Nothing for The Grambler to predict this week, so let’s move straight on to....

 

Teaser time. Yay! How did you get on with your five questions?

1. Who am I? [You’re the writer of this drivel. - Ed.] Ahem... I’ll give you some clues and you name the footballer in question.

My first name is Andrew and I was born on the 10th of June 1964 in Leeds. I began my senior career at Bradford City and later played for Everton, Rangers and Sheffield United. Because my father was Scottish I was eligible to play for Scotland.

Answer: (Andrew) Stuart McCall

2. Which club’s stadium is currently called the Tony Macaroni Arena?

Answer: Livingston F.C. (Although I imagine most fans still call it Almondvale.)

3. Who is currently the Premier League’s longest-serving manager?

Answer: Bournemouth’s Eddie Howe holds that distinction, beginning the job on the 12th of October 2012, beating Burnley’s Sean Dyche by just 18 days.

4. By what name was Edson Arantes do Nascimento known?

Answer: Perhaps the greatest player ever... Pele.

5. Who is the shortest player in the Premier League?

Answer: Ryan Fraser of Bournemouth is 5 feet 4 inches (1.62m) in his stocking soles.
 
 

Would you like a few for this week? Aye, go on then...

1. Who am I?

I was born on the 11th January 1987 in Sheffield and began my playing career at Sheffield Wednesday. I have been with my current club for eight years. Before turning professional I was a technician making medical splints. It has been reported that I do not use the gym and that I drink Red Bull energy drink. In 2015, it was possible to buy crisps with a flavour named in my honour.

2. Which Scottish club was formed in 2002 and entered the Second Division that year when its owners bought the assets of Clydebank F.C.

3. Old Trafford has the highest capacity of any club’s stadium in Britain; which club stadium has the second-highest capacity?

4. Who is this famous footballer?
 

 

5. Sergio Aguero has scored more Premier League goals than any other player from the Americas; who is the next highest scorer?

There you are, have fun and remember, no googling.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, also take the time to click on this link, an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

 

…..oooOooo…..
 

 

And finally Cyril? And finally Esther, it is another sad week for the world of entertainment as we have lost another famous name to the Covid-19 virus. Tim Brooke-Taylor has been a constant in my life since I first heard him on I’m Sorry, I’ll Read That Again in the late sixties (Yes, I am that old.). I watched him on At Last, The 1948 Show (1967) on ITV which gave us these four characters. I’ll wager a few of you out there always thought that that was a Monty Python original. Any road up, the 1948 show was swiftly followed by Marty on the Beeb on which he appeared and also worked as a scriptwriter. The Goodies, with fellow ISIRTA regulars Graham Garden and Bill Oddie, was (were?) required viewing in the 1970s. He was a constant on radio too. Actually, it was always Radio 4, although Hello Cheeky with Barry Cryer and John Junkin might have been on Radio 2. The Radio 4 panel game, I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue has been on the go since 1972 and Brooke-Taylor was there at the start and was a regular panelist right up until the last series, a matter of weeks ago.

There have been countless other TV appearances including On the Braden Beat, Broaden Your Mind, You Must Be the Husband and Me and My Girl.

He was even an inadvertant pop star briefly in the 1970s when The Goodies had a novelty hit with our finishing link, Funky Gibbon. Hmm... not his finest moment.

We have lost a talented writer and performer... and Derby County has lost an ardent supporter.

 
Is this pose funky enough for you dahling?

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may missed.

 

Happy grambling.