Saturday, 27 August 2022

Post 457 - They're grambling with my song

 

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

 

Story time...

You may have been wondering why there was no edition of your favourite ill-informed blog last week. What do you mean, you never noticed? The reason for its non-appearance was that Mrs G and I have been on our travels again. Abroad. First time in getting on for three years. However, this is not a 'what I did in my holidays' essay, but it does pick up on one small aspect of it.

We stayed in a hotel. Very nice I hear you say. Indeed it was. Clean, comfortable room overlooking the sea; good food at mealtimes. What could be better? The evening's entertainment, that's what.

We've been to many hotels and resorts over the years; we have witnessed some brilliant and not so brilliant entertainment.

I recall the world's best bingo caller...'One and three... thirty one'. We've seen possibly the world's clumsiest magician. He couldn't magish at all. His act was supposed to finish with a dove flying out of a silver server when he lifted the lid. We worked out the big finish quite early in the act; he had placed the server complete with lid on a table beside him. Unfortunately, during another trick, he managed to knock the platter off the table and a stunned dove tried to crawl out. Only by clamping the lid shut on the poor animal's wing did he stop it escaping. Not surprisingly, the finale was somewhat spoiled because the dove was a bit wary when it came to the point where it was actually meant to leave the server; the magician had to give it a right old prod to get it moving.

Any road up, back to last week's holiday, the entertainment on the first night was a female singer. She had a pleasant enough voice; a bit Joni Mitchell, I thought. And she sang some songs Mrs G and I recognised... eventually. Her problem was that the tune accompanying the words was almost exactly nothing like the original.

Her first number, a take on the Red Hot Chilli Peppers' song Under the Bridge, for example, we didn’t recognise immediately, but we persevered and got there in the end. She had obviously taken the words of the song and just sang them to whatever notes came in to her head.

Some songs were easy to spot. Zombie by the Cranberries was one. There aren’t too many songs with the word zombie repeated over and over. Carole King's It's Too Late, was not so easy to work out.

All in all, nice voice, terrible memory for tunes.

A couple of nights later, another female singer rocked up to... erm... entertain us.

This one didn't have a very pleasant voice at all. Imagine a combination of Rod Stewart, Joe Cocker, Bonnie Tyler and her dad Steven. Now imagine that voice with a severe dose of laryngitis and you'll be somewhere close to envisaging how truly awful this singer was.

She also had the same problem as the singer from two nights previous; she made her own tunes up. Sadly, because she had such a godawful voice, it was nigh on impossible to spot a song, and having English as a second language, some of her pronunciation was iffy. It was sometimes possible to spot a word or two which gave you an idea of what she was attempting to sing in her gravelly way. There aren't too many songs with a chorus of 'you can go your own way' so we surmised that she was having a go at the old Fleetwood Mac tune.

She then began a song which featured a phrase which sounded something like 'ah hee ah hee ah hee'. Nope. This was a new one on me. It bugged me no end. I even went to bed thinking about it and trying to work out what that song was.

After drifting off to sleep, I awoke and with such a start that I also woke a worried Mrs G...

'What's wrong? Are you all right?' she enquired.

'Got it!'

'Got what?'

'That song!'

'What song?'

'The one we couldn't work out... ah hee ah hee ah hee.'

'And what was it?'

'Zombie by the Cranberries.'

 

I would like to end this week’s story time with a link to a version of a song that always struck me as being quite ironic, given its title. Here’s Ray Charles making a right old mess of Melanie’s Look What They've Done to My Song, Ma.

 

Ray Charles - Song murderer


.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 20th of August? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Duncan Macrae 1905 - Actor. Para Handy in Para Handy - Master Mariner.

Bunny Austin 1906 - Tennisy bloke. Not a real rabbit.

Andre Morell 1909 - Actor. Professor Bernard Quatermass in Quatermass and The Pit.

Bernard Archard 1916 - Actor. Inspector Pike in The List of Adrian Messenger. 141 IMDb credits.

Yootha Joyce 1927 - Actress. Mildred Roper in Man About The House and its spinoff series George and Mildred.

Anthony Ainley 1932 - Actor. The Master in Doctor Who. Well, one of the many actors who played that role over the years.

Ronnie Browne 1937 - A Corrie. A clip? But of course. Here’s Rattlin' Bog.  [He should get a plumber in. - Ed.]

Jim Bowen 1937 - Comedian. Great super smashing!

Ronnie McKinnon 1940 - Fitba guy.

Dave Brock 1941 - Musician. A mainstay of prog rock band, Hawkwind. I think another clip is in order. Let’s have a bit of Space Chase.

Sylvester McCoy 1943 - Actor. Doctor Who number whatever.

Peter Denyer 1947 - Actor. Dennis Dunstable in Please, Sir! and its spinoff The Fenn Street Gang.

Robert Plant 1948 - Singer, most famously with Led Zeppelin. Let’s have another clip. Here, from Knebworth 1979, is a live version of Kashmir. Let's rawwk!

Phil Lynott 1949 - Musician. Frontman with Thin Lizzy. Time for another clip, methinks. Here’s Emerald.

John Emburey 1952 - Crickety bloke.

Simon Shepherd 1956 - Actor. Dr. Will Preston in Peak Practice.

Joe Pasquale 1961 - Comedian, it says here.

Steve McMahon 1961 - Footy bloke.

Sophie Aldred 1962 - Actress. Ace in Doctor Who.

Matthew Chambers 1968 - Actor. Dr. Daniel Granger in Doctors.

Neil Fitzmaurice 1969 - Actor, comedian and writer. Jeff Heaney in Peep Show.

Adrian Bower 1970 - Actor. Brian Steadman in Teachers.

Scott Quinnell 1972 - Rygbi'r undeb a haen rygbi'r gynghrair.

Jamie Cullum 1979 - Musician. Have a clip. Talking of mucking up songs, here’s Jamie’s take on The Wind Cries Mary.

Judd Trump 1989 - Snookery bloke.

Leigh Griffiths 1990 - Fitba guy.

Callum Skinner 1992 - Bike racey bloke.

Okay that’s last week’s birthday honours, what about this week? Who was born on the 27th of August?

Charles Rolls 1877 - Car salesman.

Eric Coates 1886 - Composer. Here’s a tune Radio 4 listeners will recognise, By The Sleepy Lagoon.

James Finlayson 1887 - Actor. Played the foil in many a Laurel and Hardy film.

Cecil Troughton 1899 - Who? He was an author, better known by his pen name C. S. Forrester. Created Horatio Hornblower... Stop sniggering at the back.

Kay Walsh 1911 - Actress. Nancy in Oliver Twist (1948).

Norman Mitchell 1918 - Jobbing actor. Usually played unnamed characters such as Landlord, Barman, Commissionaire or Lorry driver. He played four different characters in Mildred and George. He was always in demand, though: 312 credits on IMDb.

Nat Lofthouse 1925 - Footy bloke.

Pat Coombs 1926 - Actress. Lana Butt in Beggar My Neighbour.

Antonia Fraser 1932 - Orferess.

Phil Shulman 1937 - Musician. Founding member of prog rockers Gentle Giant. Have a clip. Here is Phil as lead vocalist of  The Advent of Panurge.

Polly Adams 1939 - Actress. Mrs Brown in Just William.

Derek Warwick 1954 - Racey car bloke.

Andrew Marshall 1954 - Screenwriter. 2point4 Children, that was one of his.

John Lloyd 1954 - Tennisy bloke.

Nicola McAuliffe 1955 - Actress. Sheila Sabatini in Surgical Spirit.

Glen Matlock 1956 - Musician. Original bassist for The Sex Pistols. Though credited as being a writer on 10 of the 12 songs on Never Mind the Bollocks..., this is one of only two songs that he actually recorded for the album, God Save The Queen.  So, although that video shows Sid Vicious ‘playing’ bass, it is actually Matlock’s work you hear.

Siobhan Redmond 1959 - Actress. Janice Taylor in Holby City way, way back. More recently, she provided the voice of Ollie the Smell Neuron in Nina and the Neurons. Okay, so I watch kids’ TV.

Mark Curry 1961 - TV presenter.

Reece Shearsmith 1969 - Comedian, actor and writer. With Steve Pemberton, writes and stars in Inside No. 9.

Mark Ealham 1969 - Crickety bloke.

Peter Ebdon 1970 - Snookery bloke.

Denise Lewis 1972 - Heptathleticky bloke

Suranne Jones 1978 - Actress. Anne Lister in Gentleman Jack. Her/him.

Vicky Binns 1982 - Actress. Molly Dobbs in Coronation Street.

Ed McKeever 1983 - Kayak racey bloke.

 

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Dear (the very late) Eric Grambloates,

It was rather wonderful to hear the wonderful tune, By The Sleepy Lagoon which, as we all know, is the theme tune for the wonderful Desert Island Discs. Didn’t you write other wonderful tunes for other wonderful programmes on the wonderful BBC? I recall a wonderful programme called Music While You Work which used to be broadcast in all the wonderful factories up and down this wonderful country of ours. I think you wrote a rather wonderful theme tune for it, but can’t remember its title. It would be rather wonderful if you could remind me.

Yours in anticipation,

Colin Orl-Wurkers.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did The Grambler’s predictions fare last time? We won. Indeed, we almost made a profit. Only almost, though... £1.90 back from our £2.20. What happened? Read on...

 

Accrington vs Burton - Home win

Result - Accrington 4 Burton 4

Ooh! ’It the bar! Sounds like a cracking game, though. Tell us about it...

Davis Keillor-Dunn scored a hat-trick but an added-time goal from Rosaire Longelo meant Burton's trip to Accrington finished as a thrilling draw.

Burton took the lead on 10 minutes when Stanley debutant Baba Fernandes was judged to have tripped Gassan Ahadme in the area. Keillor-Dunn sent Lukas Jensen the wrong way for Albion's first goal of the campaign.

It was two on 17 minutes when Victor Adeboyejo chested the ball down for Keillor-Dunn in the area and he fired home.

Burton made it three on 50 minutes when Jonny Smith's ball across the face of goal was tapped home at the far post for Keillor-Dunn's treble.

Stanley gave themselves a lifeline on 52 minutes when Sean McConville's cross was headed home by Joe Pritchard.

It was 3-2 on 57 minutes when Tommy Leigh sent McConville clean through and he chipped keeper Viljami Sinisalo.

Burton made it 4-2 on 81 minutes when Joe Powell headed against the post and Ahadme fired the rebound into the empty net.

Josh Woods headed home on 90 minutes for Stanley and then Burton failed to clear their lines in injury time and Longelo, in the 96th minute, forced the ball home at the far post.

 

Derby vs Barnsley - Home win

Result - Derby 2 Barnsley 1

Yay!

The Reds started very nervously, with a mix-up between Conor McCarthy and goalkeeper Brad Collins in the six-yard box seeing Louis Sibley denied from close range by the stopper.

The same two players will be disappointed with the opener on eight minutes as Collins totally missed a corner by former Barnsley captain Conor Hourihane and the ball appeared to bounce in off McCarthy for an own goal.

James Norwood was denied one-on-one by home goalkeeper Joe Wildsmith but the Rams made it 2-0 when Tom Barkhuizen set up the unmarked Nathaniel Mendez-Laing to smash into the bottom left corner from the edge of the box.

Barnsley's Jack Aitchison blazed over a golden chance then James Collins fired wide at the other end when he looked sure to score.

Josh Benson's deflected 20-yard shot made it 2-1 midway through the second half then Mads Andersen headed a Benson corner wide of the top right corner in injury-time.

 

Ipswich vs MK Dons - Home win

Result - Ipswich 3 MK Dons 0

Yay!

Goals from Wes Burns and Marcus Harness put the hosts 2-0 ahead at the break before Conor Chaplin swept home Town's third in the second half to wrap up a comfortable win.

Ipswich had a sight of goal in the second minute when striker Freddie Ladapo broke free on the left, but his low drive was smothered by Jamie Cumming.

Janoi Donacien's superb run and cross from the right flank was then expertly fired home by Burns three minutes later as Town opened the scoring.

MK Dons responded and Conor Grant brought a fine save from goalkeeper Christian Walton before Matt Dennis missed a glaring chance to equalise when he headed over Grant's excellent left-wing cross.

The Tractor Boys doubled their lead in the 28th minute when Harness reacted quickest to force the ball home after Burns' low shot from outside the area was saved by Cumming.

Ipswich skipper Sam Morsy's stinging drive was tipped over by Cumming six minutes later as the hosts ended the half strongly.

Chaplin turned in Ipswich's third in the 60th minute after Donacien cut the ball back following some clever footwork in the penalty area.

Substitute Sone Aluko (Crikey! Is he still playing? Oh, he’s 33; not that old, then.) went close to adding a fourth after he drove into the box but his low effort was turned wide by Cumming with 11 minutes to go.

 

Sheffield Wed vs Charlton - Home win

Result - Sheffield Wed 1 Charlton 0

Yay!

Tyreeq Bakinson's goal late in the game was enough to give Sheffield Wednesday a victory over Charlton.

Barry Bannan had a chance for the hosts after only two minutes, glancing a header just wide.

Charlton then enjoyed a good spell, with Albie Morgan having an effort saved by David Stockdale while Scott Fraser and Steven Sessegnon both put shots over.

There was another chance for the Addicks when a defensive mix-up let in Corey Blackett-Taylor, but Liam Palmer got back to clear off the line.

Bakinson threatened to force the breakthrough shortly before he found the net.

The goal came nine minutes from time when Windass crossed from the right and Bakinson powered a header home.

Windass then picked up a loose ball, ran into the box and squared to Sow, whose effort was blocked.

The pair combined again in stoppage time, with Sow finding Windass on the edge of the area, but he fired over.

 

Wycombe vs Shrewsbury - Home win

Result - Wycombe 1 Shrewsbury 2

Boo!

Matthew Pennington equalised after Garath McCleary had given the hosts a deserved lead, and Salop skipper Luke Leahy completed the turnaround two minutes from time.

Wycombe had the run of the first half, forcing Town goalkeeper Marko Marosi into a string of fine saves. Jack Grimmer was the first to be denied with an instinctive header tipped over, and a venomous drive from Lewis Wing had the Slovakian shot-stopper at full stretch again.

The Chairboys finally found a way through after the interval as a long ball forward sat up nicely for McCleary on the edge of the box and the Jamaica international arrowed his effort into the bottom corner.

Pennington then restored parity on the hour mark with a looping far-post header after a George Nurse long throw.

Then, with full-time approaching, the visitors were awarded a spot-kick as Joe Jacobson pulled down substitute Tom Bayliss and Leahy dispatched from 12 yards with ease.

 

So close to making a profit, for once. Let’s see if The Grambler can improve on that, this week.

Game - Result - Odds

Blackpool vs Bristol City - Home win - 5/4

Middlesbrough vs Swansea - Home win - 3/4

Millwall vs Reading - Home win - 3/4

Rotherham vs Birmingham - Home win - 19/20

Watford vs QPR - Home win - 19/20

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£13.22

Interesting figure that... if you convert it to the year 1322. On October the 14th of that year, Robert the Bruce’s forces defeated those of King Edward II of England at Byland (near Scotch Corner), forcing Edward to accept Scotland’s independence.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Ruabon, Wales in 1963. I began my senior career at Manchester United before being transferred to Barcelona for a record (for a British player) £2 million. I then returned to Man U., playing over 250 games. After seven years, I was transferred to Chelsea and had short spells at Southampton and Everton before ending my playing career at Blackburn Rovers. I was capped for Wales 72 times and became the national side’s manager in 1999 while still playing for Southampton.

Answer - Mark Hughes

2. Who won the first ever Premier League Golden Boot award in season 1992-93?

Answer - Teddy Sheringham

3. Name the coach from these clubs managed - Hartlepools United, Derby County, Brighton and Hove Albion, Leeds United and Nottingham Forest.

Answer - Brian Clough

4. Which player has scored the most goals in a single season? Bonus: how many?

Answer - Lionel Messi with 73

5. Another daft one to finish. On the 4th of May this year, Steve Hodge bought Diego Maradonna’s 1986 shirt at auction. How much did he pay for it?

Answer - £7.1 million

What about five for this week?

1. Who am I?

I was born in Dublin in 1980. A striker, I began my senior career at Wolves. After a few moves, I settled at Spurs where I played almost 200 games and scored 80 goals. I then moved to Liverpool for a season, but returned to Spurs for a second spell in 2009. A couple of loan spells later, I moved to the US to play for LA Galaxy in 2011. Over the next five years, I played 125 games and scored over 80 goals. I was capped 146 times for my country, an Irish record.

2. Which Chinese player has made the most Premier League appearances?

3. Which Scottish player was capped 121 times and scored 116 goals?

4. Name the coach who managed these clubs (and international team) - Motherwell, Hibernian, Rangers, Scotland (twice), Birmingham City, Aston Villa, Nottingham Forest, Genk and Zamalek.

5. Which club plays at the Suit Direct Stadium (aka Victoria Park)?

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount raised is a little out of date; it is now sitting at over £60,000.

 

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. D. Macrae who provides us with this week’s closing link. This takes me back to my childhood days [Uh oh, Hovis time. - Ed.] when I was allowed to stay up on Hogmonay for the bells and to watch whatever new year programme was on. I recall appearances from old Scottish actors Finlay Currie and John Grieve, but the clip to end this week’s blog was performed every year by Duncan Macrae and was always my favourite moment. Ladeez and genullum, please enjoy A Wee Coak Sparrah.

 

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.

 

Saturday, 13 August 2022

Post 456 - A Marmite gramble

 

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

 

Story time...

'The worst thing ever invented.'

'I once came across the corpse of a dead sheep - this transported me back to that moment.'

Those are just two of the glowing testimonies for Lynx Marmite-scented deodorant.

What, I hear you ask. Marmite scented deodorant? Come off it. Never.

Seriously. Another comment from one customer likened it to 'sick'.

Obviously, whoever owns the Lynx name thought that marrying the Africa scent... already a bit naff... with Marmite would be a spiffing wheeze.

The buying public didn't agree and now the cut-price bins in those shops that bothered to stock the stuff are filled with cans of it selling for something like 47 pees. Talking of pees, that's another smell it has been likened to.

One customer suggested that it was so bad it would at least keep beasties away and this set me thinking.

Years ago I read an article which advised of a good way to keep mosquitoes at bay. It suggested that you eat marmite every day for a fortnight before you headed to any place where you might encounter the little bas... beasties. The claim was that the Marmite aroma would seep through your pores and put them off having a chomp at you.

I think the folk at Lynx are missing a trick here. No doubt Africa/Marmite Lynx will be deleted from production in light of the negative comments people have been posting online but, come on Lynx people, think. Instead of selling the stuff as some kind of childish joke, you should be marketing it as a useful mosquito repellant.

Avon have been selling lorry loads of Skin So Soft for years because people thought of it not as an anti-aging cream but as an anti-midgie cream. Ask any bowler or golfer and they will probably tell you how good it is.

Perhaps those bowlers and golfers should give Marmite Lynx a go and put some positive comments online.

Incidentally, I have no connection to the company that makes Lynx and Marmite... although I do enjoy the occasional Twiglet.


 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 13th of August? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

James Gilray 1756 - Caricaturist and printmaker.

John Logie Baird 1888 - Inventor of television.

I’m smarter than the average Baird.


Alfred Hitchcock 1899 - Film maker. Factoid: He didn’t have a navel. Don’t ask me how I know that.

Alan Sainsbury 1902 - Shopkeeper.

Bartlett Mullins 1904 - Actor. Mr Clough in The Likely Lads. 161 credits on IMDb.

Basil Spence 1907 - Architect. Designed Coventry Cathedral. He also designed the school I went to. It’s now been flattened to make way for a more modern (blander) building and a housing estate.

George Shearing 1919 - Jazz pianist. Here is a performance of his own composition, Lullaby of Birdland.

John Tidmarsh 1928 - Broadcaster and journalist.

Bernard Manning 1930 - Comedian, it says here.

Rod Hull 1935 - Comedian, it says here.

Susan Jameson 1941 - Actress. Jessie Seaton/Ashton in When the Borrrt Comes In. Mrs James Bolam.

Michael Brennan 1943 - Photographer... of famous people.

Davina Galica 1944 - Racey car bloke.

Stephen MacKenna 1945 - Jobbing actor. John Lennon in Birth of the Beatles.

Howard Marks 1945 - Drug smuggler. Five years ago I included him in our birthday honours and told the story that The Small Faces song Here Comes the Nice was written in his honour. I have since found out that, although he was known as Mr Nice, there is no connection. One of those apochryphal stories, I’m afraid.

Robin Jackman 1945 - Crickety bloke.

Jane Carr 1950 - Actress. Gillian Page-Wood ‘Pudding’ in It’s Awfully Bad for Your Eyes, Darling. Moved to the U.S. in the mid eighties and has never looked back... At least she doesn’t have to appear in sh*t* like It’s Awfully Bad for Your Eyes, Darling.

Ric Parnell 1951 - One-time drummer with Atomic Rooster. Perhaps more famous as Mick Shrimpton in This is Spinal Tap. Perhaps not.

Paul Greengrass 1955 - Film director/producer.

Richard Hawley 1955 - Actor. Johnny Connor in Coronation Street.

Martin Brabbins 1959 - Conductor.

Michael ‘Mickey’ Bradley 1959 - An Undertone. A clip? Why soitenly. Here’s John Peel’s favourite song, Teenage Kicks.

Stuart Maconie 1960 - Presenter, journalist and author.

Phil Taylor 1960 - Spear chucker.

Bobby Williamson 1961 - Fitba guy.

Alan Shearer 1970 - Foo’y blurk.

Dean Marriott aka D. Ramirez 1970 - Musician. Had a UK number 2 with this remix of Bodyrox’s Yeah Yeah.

Joe Perry 1974 - Snookery bloke.

Roddy Woomble 1976 - Musician. Frontman for Idlewild. Here is their only top ten song to date, You Held the World in Your Arms.

Euan Morton 1977 - Actor. Played Boy George in Taboo.

James Morrison 1984 - Singer-songwriter. Here’s his first big hit, You Give Me Something.

Freya Mavor 1993 - Actress. Mini McGuinness in Skins.

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Yo! James Gramlahson,

Mostly, I enjoyed hearin' you record You Give Me Somefing. Me and da other bros was finking, dint yo also 'as da hit wif Nelly Furtadoes. What was dat hit on da hi-pad?

Yours fayfully, innit,

Bro Ken Strings.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did The Grambler’s predictions fare last time? We won. Not really. 74 pees back from a £2.20 outlay doesn’t really count, does it? What happened? Read on...

Burnley vs Luton - Home win

Result - Burnley 1 Luton 1

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Burnley recovered from the shock of conceding an early goal to earn a draw at home to Luton Town.

The Hatters took the lead through defender Dan Potts after the Clarets were unable to clear a corner.

Home fans had to wait until after the break for the equaliser as midfielder Josh Brownhill beat keeper Ethan Horvath with a low shot from outside the box.

It was their only effort on target in the match.

 

Preston vs Hull - Home win

Result - Preston 0 Hull 0

Ooh! ’It the bar! Again!

The hosts created more chances and nearly went ahead early on but Emil Riis' left-footed drive was saved by visiting goalkeeper Matt Ingram.

Preston piled on the pressure in the second half and Robbie Brady's shot from outside the box rattled the post after taking a deflection.

Troy Parrott looked certain to break the deadlock and put North End ahead when he found himself through on goal in the closing minutes.

But the striker had one too many touches and Tigers goalkeeper Ingram managed to get a hand on the ball before it was cleared off the line by Jacob Greaves.

Hull defender Lewie Coyle had a couple of efforts off target, but Preston's goalkeeper Freddie Woodman remained largely untroubled.

 

Sheffield Utd. vs Millwall - Home win

Result - Sheffield Utd. 2 Millwall 0

Yay!

Iliman Ndiaye gave the Blades an early lead, planting a firm right-footed shot into the corner of the net.

And midway through the first half it was 2-0 when John Fleck seized on Charlie Cresswell's poor miscue and squared to Sander Berge who rounded goalkeeper Bart Bialkowski and slotted in.

Bialkowski prevented further damage by saving Oliver Norwood's first-half penalty kick after Jake Cooper had tripped Rhian Brewster.

 

Barnsley vs Cheltenham - Home win

Result - Barnsley 1 Cheltenham 0

Yay!

Luke Thomas scored the only goal as Barnsley beat Cheltenham at Oakwell.

Cheltenham had the first clear chance after a Taylor Perry cross found the feet of Dan N'Lundulu, who shot wide from inside the box.

Barnsley had the ball in the back of the net four minutes after the interval as captain Mads Andersen tapped home, only to see the goal ruled out for offside.

A minute later, Liam Kitching headed over after meeting James Norwood's cross.

The winner came in the 66th minute when Thomas drove forward after intercepting a loose Cheltenham pass, hitting a fierce strike into the left side of the goal to beat Luke Southwood.

Kitching almost added a second goal in the final minute when his effort went just over the bar.

Portsmouth vs Lincoln - Home win

Result - Portsmouth 0 Lincoln 0

Ooh! ’It the bar! Yet again!

A dull game at Fratton Park tested the players' fitness in sweltering conditions.

In the first 45 minutes Lincoln failed to have a single shot on target, whereas Pompey managed four.

Reeco Hackett had the best of those chances on 43 minutes, having two bites of the cherry. His first effort bounced off goalkeeper Carl Rushworth, but his follow-up effort under pressure was way over the crossbar.

The second half did not fare much better, although Pompey made four substitutions and Lincoln two.

The changes brought the game to life, but shots on target and goals failed to materialise.

 

First weekend of the new season, what can I say? Three hit the bars? Not good enough. Come on Grambler, buck your ideas up. What has he/she/it come up with this week?

Game - Result - Odds

Accrington vs Burton - Home win - 19/20

Derby vs Barnsley - Home win - 17/20

Ipswich vs MK Dons - Home win - 5/6

Sheffield Wed vs Charlton - Home win - 13/20

Wycombe vs Shrewsbury - Home win - 19/20

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£11.50

Ooh, six pees less whopping than last week’s.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Corbridge, Northumberland in 1960. I played as a centre back for several clubs during a 20 year senior career, most notably a nine year spell at Manchester United where I made 309 appearances. Though I was captain for Man U., steering them to a league and cup double in 1993. I am now known for my managerial skills having managed 11 clubs since 1998.

Answer - Steve Bruce

2. Which side won the National League title this year to end an 11 year absence from the Football League?

Answer - Stockport

3. Whose transfer to Rangers in 2000 is still a record paid by any Scottish club?

Answer - Tore Andre Flo (£12 million)

4. Which Dutchman managed Newcastle United in the 1998-99 season?

Answer - Ruud Gullitt

5. Who won a fifth consecutive Bundesliga top scorer award in 2021-22?

Answer - Robert Lewandowski

How about five for this week?

I was born in Ruabon, Wales in 1963. I began my senior career at Manchester United before being transferred to Barcelona for a record (for a British player) £2 million. I then returned to Man U., playing over 250 games. After seven years, I was transferred to Chelsea and had short spells at Southampton and Everton before ending my playing career at Blackburn Rovers. I was capped for Wales 72 times and became the national side’s manager in 1999 while still playing for Southampton.

2. Who won the first ever Premier League Golden Boot award in season 1992-93?

3. Name the coach from these clubs managed - Hartlepools United, Derby County, Brighton and Hove Albion, Leeds United and Nottingham Forest.

4. Which player has scored the most goals in a single season? Bonus: how many?

5. Another daft one to finish. On the 4th of May this year, Steve Hodge bought Diego Maradonna’s 1986 shirt at auction. How much did he pay for it?

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount raised is a little out of date; it is now sitting at over £60,000.

 

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to Messrs R. Hull, E. Mu and M. Parkinson. Yes, this week’s finishing clip is that moment when Parkinson got attacked by Rod Hull’s psycho puppet. Incidentally, Billy Connolly was also a guest on that show and he warned Mr. Hull with the words, ‘If that thing comes near me, I’ll break its neck and your arm.’ Ladeez and genullum, enjoy Emu vs Parky.

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.

 

Saturday, 6 August 2022

Post 455 - Happy new grambling season

 

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

 

Story time...

You must be wondering what happened last week. First week of the new football season and no (g)ramble, what the blibbing flip is going on?

I was getting ready to publish last week's edition with a eulogy to Bernard Cribbens (who had died aged 93) when other events got in the way. What events? Pull up a chair and I'll tell ee.

As you know, it has been a huge week for football. I thought, this is supposed to be a football blog [You could have fooled me. - Ed.] so let’s consider the big football story of the week.

Last Sunday, we were all perched on the edge of our chairs willing the team to win. Had they got the bottle? Would they manage it? Thankfully, they had and they did. We could all rejoice.

Yes, Motherwell had managed to win their first game of the new season.
After a bizarre couple of weeks, Motherwell proved that they might not be quite down and out. Yet.

What on earth has been going on, I hear you ask. Well, Motherwell has had a tough few months of it, being unable to win many games since the turn of the year.

If you know how the Scottish Premiership works, you will be aware that there are 12 teams in it and they play each other three times. At the end of those 33 games, the league splits in half so that the top six play each other once and the bottom group play each other once. Are you keeping up with this?

It all means that, rather than play 44 games per season, each team plays, a more manageable, 38 games. So far, so confusing.

The split means that those in the top half might still have a chance of qualifying for one the many European competitions that now take place. The bottom six? Sorry, no matter how many games a team might win after the 33 game break, they will not finish the season higher than seventh... even though the team above them in sixth place might have fewer points. Yes, it is a bit odd.

Any road up, Motherwell struggled to get into the top six and it was only by winning the 33rd game did they manage to stay in the top group; had they drawn or lost that game, they would have been in the bottom half.

The same thing happened after the break, they were losing every game as usual and only a win against Hearts secured them fifth place and therefore a chance to play in the Europa Conference league... or diddy cup as it is known in these parts.

No matter, European football is still something special and Motherwell were drawn against a small Irish club from Sligo called, appropriately enough, Sligo Rovers. Given that their ground's capacity is about a quarter that of Motherwell's Fir Park, it's fair to say that the Rovers were very much the underdogs. It looked like it would be an easy progression to the next stage of the tournament for the 'Well. What could possibly go wrong?

Everything, obviously. Sligo beat them one nil at Fir Park. Okay, things went a bit awry at home but surely Motherwell would annihilate Sligo in the return match. All they had to do was up their game a little and victory was assured.

Things didn't quite go to plan and Sligo thumped them two nil. Oh dearie me what a pity, were probably the words on the lips of all the Motherwell supporters. Well, something to that effect, anyway.

So that was Motherwell's European dream scuppered. But, obviously things have improved since then, I hear you say. Erm... not really.

One of the interesting things a footy fan indulges in at the start of any new season is to speculate which manager will be the first to receive his jotters. A few bad results at the start of a campaign can be enough to see the boss sent on his way pretty sharpish. Usually, after nine games or so, somebody will be emptying their desk.

I think Motherwell might be vying for an entry in the Guinness Book of Records as being the first club in history to sack their manager before the season has even got started.

The day after that drubbing by Sligo, Motherwell's boss left the club 'by mutual consent'. Aye, sure.

So, Sunday's one nil victory against Paisley club St. Mirren was unexpected, to say the least.

Actually, I wasn't sure which team to support. Sorry pardon excuse me? You see, St. Mirren are managed by Motherwell's ex-manager, whose assistant is the same assistant he had at Motherwell. Not only that, but six of the players were ex-Motherwell guys.

So, as I write this, Motherwell are without a manager. One of the favourites to take on the job? The boss at a certain Paisley club.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 30th of July? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Emily Bronte 1818 - Orfer. Wuthering Heights, that was one of hers. Not sure what wuthering is. Have you ever wuthered a height? I certainly haven’t.

Billy Meredith 1874 - Pêl-droediw.

Holmes Herbert 1882 - Jobbing actor. 234 credits on IMDb.

Charles Sargeant Jagger 1885 - Sculptor of many war memorials.

Henry Moore 1898 - Another sculptor... of big blobby things.

Stan Stennett 1925 - Musician and comedian.

Tony Hiller 1927 - Songwriter. Here’s one of his, Save Your Kisses For Me. What the hell is that set all about?

Alan Curtis 1930 - Jobbing actor. Detective Inspector Bob Gillingham in Compact.

Brian Clemens 1931 - Scriptwriter. He wrote many 1960s and 70s series such as, deep breath, Richard The Lionheart, The Invisible Man, Sir Francis Drake, Danger Man, The Avengers, The Baron, Adam Adamant Lives!, The Persuaders!, The Protectors, The New Avengers and The Professionals.

Terry O’Neill 1938 - Photographer whose images captured the 60s (it says here).

Clive Sinclair 1940 - Inventor and entrepreneur who foresaw the future of motoring as being electrically powered... 40 years before suitable technology became available. Who can forget the C5 pedal/electric car? I wish I could.

Colin Fulcher aka Barney Bubbles 1942 - Artist who designed the 70s (it says here).

Victor Henry 1943 - Actor. Freddie K in Privilege.

Frances de la Tour 1944 - Actress. Ruth Jones in Rising Damp.

Gerry Birrell 1944 - Racey motor guy.

Jeffrey Hammond(-Hammond) 1946 - Musician. He was once the bass player with, would you Adam and Eve it, one of my fave bands, Jethro Tull. Let’s have a clip [Any excuse. - Ed.]. Here’s a 1975 rendition of Minstrel in the Gallery. Jeff’s the Everton mint on the left.

John ‘Dixie’ Deans 1946 - Fitba guy. Ex-Motherwell, you know.

Allan Stewart 1950 - Comedian.

Harriet Harman 1950 - Politician.

Phil Davis 1953 - Actor. Jud Paynter in Poldark.

Ian Callum 1955 - Car designer.

Christopher Millar aka Rat Scabies 1955 - Drummer. Here’s a track that shows off his skills, Let There Be Rats.

Phil Fearon 1956 - Musician. Here he is with Galaxy, Dancing Tight.  Not a good idea dancing when you're tight.  You might fall over.

Liz Kershaw 1958 - Broadcaster.

Kate Bush 1958 - Musician. Here’s a beautiful song which she wrote when she was only 13, The Man with the Child in His Eyes.

Daley Thompson 1958 - Decathleticky bloke.

Andy Green 1962 - World land speed record holder. 763.035 mph in case you were wondering.

Anthony ‘Tex’ Doughty 1963 - Musician. Keyboardist for Transvision Vamp. Here they are with  The Only One.  Oddly, he’s the only one you don’t actually see in that video as he is sat way off to the left.

Sean Moore 1968 - A Manic Street Preacher. Have a clip, here’s Rosebud.

Sian Gibson 1976 - Comedienne and actress. Kayleigh Kitson in Car Share.

Justin Rose 1980 - Golfy bloke.

Alexander Vlahos 1988 - Actor. Charles Lockhart in Sanditon.

Hannah Cockroft 1992 - Wheelchair racery bloke.

Okay then, what about the 6th of August? Any famous folk born on that day? Of course there were...

Alfred, Lord Tennyson 1809 - Poet. He wrote that one about her that liked onions, The Lady of Shalott.

Alexander Fleming 1881 - Biologist who prompted this gag...

 

Q. What do you give the man who has everything?

A. Penicillin

 

Field Marshall William Slim, 1st Viscount Slim 1891 - The well-known sudjer.

Ballard Berkeley 1904 - Actor. The Major in Fawlty Towers.

Charles Crichton 1910 - Film director. Hue and Cry, The Lavender Hill Mob and A Fish Called Wanda were some of his successes.

Edward Jewesbury 1917 - Jobbing actor. Often played official types. Doctors, captains, majors, high-ranking policemen and a few legal types litter his 139 IMDb credits. In fact, he must have nailed the legal look, because he played Mr. Justice Bragge in 53 episodes of Crown Court.

Freddie Laker 1922 - Fly guy.

Jack Parnell 1923 - Musician and musical director. He conducted the orchestra in Sunday Night at the London Palladium for many years. Did you know he was the ‘real’ conductor of The Muppet Show orchestra? Thought not.

Frank Finlay 1926 - Actor. In a career of over 50 years he racked up 145 IMDb credits and uttered the funniest line I’ve ever heard (and I don’t care if you read it here in a blog from long, long ago), ‘Gentlemen, I have a long felt want.’ Brilliant.

Elisabeth Beresford 1926 - Children’s author and creator of the ultimate recyclers, The Wombles.

Vince Powell 1928 - TV scriptwriter. With comedy partner, Harry Driver, Powell wrote such gems as Pardon the Expression, George and the Dragon, Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width, Nearest and Dearest, For the Love of Ada and Bless This House. Sadly, they also gave us the woefully unfunny (and horribly racist) ‘comedies’ Love Thy Neighbour and Mind Your Language.

Chris Bonington 1934 - Mountaineer.

Barbara Windsor 1937 - Actress. Peggy Mitchell in Eastenders.

Mike Sarne 1940 - Actor and director. He also had a short pop career in the 1960s with a few novelty records. Come Outside reached number 1. This follow up, Will I What, which is basically a retread of Come Outside, only made number 18.

Bill Tancred 1942 - Discus chucker.

David McLetchie 1952 - Politician.

Reece Dinsdale 1959 - Actor. Matthew Willows in Home to Roost.

Kirsty Wade 1962 - Runny bloke.

Dean Andrews 1963 - Actor. Ray Carling in Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes.

Alan Cox 1970 - John Watson in Young Sherlock Holmes.

Geri Halliwell 1972 - A Spice Girl. Here’s the second of her four solo number ones Lift Me Up.

Donna Lewis 1973 - Singer. Here’s her hit, I Love You Always Forever.  I love you always forever?  Tautology, surely.  She's Welsh; perhaps that's how they talk in Wales.

Francesca Martinez 1978 - Actress and comedienne.

Karl Davies 1982 - Actor. Daniel Cawood in Happy Valley.

Lloyd Langford 1983 - Comedian.

Michael Parr 1986 - Actor. Ross Barton in Emmerdale.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Geri Grambliwell,

I have been a big fan of yours ever since you were in the Spice Girls, apart from the unfortunate staging for the Brit Awards in 2000, that is. That was an, ahem, unusual entrance. I have a question for you: what was your first solo single after leaving the Spice Girls?

Yours blushingly,

Lou Katmee.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did The Grambler’s predictions fare last time? We won. Seriously. £4.04 back from our £2.20 outlay. Yay! A profit at last. What happened? Read on...

Mjällby AIF vs Degerfors IF - Home win

Result - Mjällby AIF 2 Degerfors IF 1

Yay!

Helsingborgs IF vs GIF Sundsvall - Home win

Result - Helsingborgs IF 1 GIF Sundsvall 0

Yay!

IFK Värnamo vs AIK - Away win

Result - IFK Värnamo 2 AIK 3

Yay!

IFK Norrköping vs IFK Göteborg - Home win

Result - IFK Norrköping 0 IFK Göteborg 2

Boo!

Varbergs BoIS vs Hammarby IF - Away win

Result - Varbergs BoIS 0 Hammarby IF 3

Yay!

Well, this weekend sees the start of the Premier League season 2022-23, so we say farewell to the Scandinavians.

Loads of changes for the Premier League. Five subs from nine on the bench can be used instead of the previous three from seven. Ten match balls will be used... Hang on, that’ll make things a bit chaotic. Oh, I see, if the ball goes out of play there will be other balls around the ground that can be used to speed things up rather than waiting for the ball to be found underneath some fan’s seat. Although, I imagine whoever takes any resultant throw-in will still waste time while he decides who to chuck it to. Many players have changed clubs with a few familiar names no longer playing in the Premier League. It’s ta ta to names such as Lacazette [That’s an energy drink, isn’t it? - Ed.], Pogba, Lukaku, Mane, Rudiger, Christensen and Raphinha and hello to new boys Martinez, Koulibaly, Aguerd, Scamacca and Man City new boy from Norway, Haaland. [I thought we’d said goodbye to Scandinavians. Make your mind up. - Ed.]

Any road up, shall we see what five gems The Grambler has randomly selected for our first gramble of the new season? Yes, let’s.

Game - Result - Odds

Burnley vs Luton - Home win - 3/4

Preston vs Hull - Home win - 19/20

Sheffield Utd. vs Millwall - Home win - 5/6

Barnsley vs Cheltenham - Home win - 4/5

Portsmouth vs Lincoln - Home win - 3/4

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£11.56

Not bad; I’ve seen whoppinger.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in 1980 in Terrassa, Spain. A midfielder, I played 505 games for the team I now manage. I was capped 133 times for my country. I am known by a shortened version of my first name.

Answer - Xavi

2. Which club is managed by Christophe Galtier?

Answer - Paris Saint-Germain

3. Which club’s stadium was briefly known as the Sports Direct Arena?

Answer - Newcastle United

4. Which player has won the most caps for the Republic of Ireland?

Answer - Robbie Keane

5. A daft one to finish, in the 2022-23 season, how many London derbies will take place?

Answer - As in the meaning of life, the universe and everything is 42. One for Douglas Adams fans there. There are seven teams from London - Arsenal, Brentford, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Fulham, Tottenham Hotspur and West Ham and they play each other twice in a season. Actually, there will probably be more than 42, because clubs may drawn against each other in cup games.

Anyway, let’s get on with five for this week.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Corbridge, Northumberland in 1960. I played as a centre back for several clubs during a 20 year senior career, most notably a nine year spell at Manchester United where I made 309 appearances. Though I was captain for Man U., steering them to a league and cup double in 1993. I am now known for my managerial skills having managed 11 clubs since 1998.

2. Which side won the National League title this year to end an 11 year absence from the Football League?

3. Whose transfer to Rangers in 2000 is still a record paid by any Scottish club?

4. Which Dutchman managed Newcastle United in the 1998-99 season?

5. Who won a fifth consecutive Bundesliga top scorer award in 2021-22?

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount raised is a little out of date; it is now sitting at over £60,000.

 

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. B. Cribbins who provides us with this week’s finishing clip. I told you that last week’s (g)ramble was to have been in tribute to Bernard Cribbins who has fallen off his perch aged a mere 93.

I can actually remember when he was a pop star, of sorts. His speciality was the novelty song and he managed to get two top tenners, with Hole in the Ground and Right, Said Fred, plus a number 25 with Gossip Calypso.

He appeared in loads of films including Carry On Spying and The Railway Children and he even had his own comedy sketch show on TV.

Later on in his career he would appear in programmes such as Coronation Street and Dr Who, but I think he will be best remembered as Britain's favourite story teller. He made more appearances on the children's story-telling programme Jackanory than any other person. You thought Kenneth Williams with his 69 programmes was going some? Pah! Miles away from Bernard's total of 114... that's one one four... programmes.

Even in recent years the Beeb utilised his special story-telling skills in Old Jack's Boat where he played a salty old dog (i.e an old sailor) who told tall tales about his life on the ocean wave to his old dog who was called... can you guess?... that's right, Salty. He was already in his mid eighties when he began those programmes... Bernard Cribbins, not the dog.

The man was what might be termed a national treasure. He was a constant on our TV screens. You know I like to quote IMDb credits, don't you? Well he had 121 as an actor, plus 117 as himself on various TV programmes and that doesn't include any of those Jackanory appearances.

He was also the voice behind the original waste recyclers, The Wombles. It would be quite apt, since this would have been the birthday of Elizabeth Beresford, the creator of these cuddly eco-friendly types, to look at an episode. So here is the very first Wombles episode ever shown, Orinoco and the Big Black Umbrella.  It ain’t Aardman quality animation, that’s for sure.

But wait, there’s more. I think it's only right that we should finish this week's (g)ramble with a particular clip. Right? [Said Fred? - Ed.]. Indeed.

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.