Post 489 - Trick or Gramble

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…

 

 

Your letters...

Sir,

I’ve often heard it asked what the best chat-up line is when you meet a girl. I don’t understand the problem; I just tell them my name, as in ‘Hello, I’m Rich.’ It always seems to go down well.

Yours faithfully,

R. Attenborough (Sir).

Story Time...

Since we are approaching All Hallows’ Eve, I thought I would take a trip back down memory lane. [Hovis time? - Ed.] You betcha.

I’ve told you about my most racist costume that my mother thought was the right thing for me to wear as a halloween costume; an Onion Johnnie outfit that was her idea of what French men wore. I was five at the time so I’d never heard of racism. Wearing jeans, a stripey shirt and beret with a string of onions slung around me meant nothing to me but, my mother assured me, everyone would understand the, I believe the word is, stereotype.

Fast forward a couple of years and mother was at it again. Her seven year old son would not be going out guising dressed as a cowboy or a footballer, like all the other boys in the street. No, I would be going as... wait for it... Little Bo Peep. No, I protested, but my complaints, accompanied by snotty tears, had no effect. Little Bo Peep it was. Had she spent days making the costume for me to refuse to wear it? Answering yes to that was, apparently, the wrong answer. The only concession she would make was that I could keep my own clothes on underneath the dress she had made.

The outfit was topped off with a forerunner of what is now known as a See-you-Jimmy hat. Sorry pardon excuse me? Let me explain. There was an unfathomably popular comedian in Britain in the 1970s called Russ Abbott who would play ‘hilarious’ characters as part of his less than hilarious act. [I’m guessing you’re not a fan. - Ed.] One of these characters was supposed to be a Scotsman wearing a tartan bunnet (Trans: hat) over ginger hair while shouting, in a poor attempt at a Scottish accent, ‘See you, Jimmy.’ Oh how we laughed. Okay, I didn’t, but plenty of people did and some smart maker of cheap seaside tat realised that, by making a tartan hat with ginger hair already attached, a lot of money could be made selling these to holidaymakers in Blackpool (and other salubrious resorts). Probably the sort of punter who would in former times have bought a ‘Kiss-me-quick’ hat. The entrepreneur even pinched Russ Abbott’s line to market them as the ‘See-you-Jimmy’ hat. So now you know.

Any road up, the bonnet which I was to wear with this ensemble also had the hair attached to it; only this hair was meant to be ringlets. Ye gods!

Luckily, the ringlets weren’t too well attached and promptly fell off the hat when I was putting this laughable get up on. I don’t know how they fell out; they just did. ‘Too late to fix them now,’ I said innocently.

My mum had also spent a while fashioning the accessory which would accompany the dress. I was supposed to be Little Bo Peep, remember. She had made a crook, a long-handled cane with a loop for a handle. Think of the big stick a bishop might carry - his crozier; like that, only less ornate. She had gone to a lot of trouble with this and had even tied some of the dress material around it.

'You look lovely,' my mother announced. 'Aye, well,' I replied.

I was going to go guising with my mate, George, who lived a few doors away and grumpily headed to his house to get him.

His dad opened the door. ‘You look... lovely,’ he announced. I think I could spot sarcasm even at that age. 'Aye, well.'

My mate came out of the house dressed as a cowboy. You see, mother? That’s what seven year old kids should dress as. ‘You look like a right fanny,’ opined my pal. ‘Aye, well,’ I muttered.

Now, before I get too far into this tale of embarrassment, I did start the evening looking quite tidy in my outfit and the crook was most definitely not broken. I would, however, have to explain to my mother later in the evening why my crook ended up in several pieces.

After visiting a few houses, I realised that sulking was not the best way to impress people. I decided I needed to lighten up and just make the best of it. George and I decided to sing a little ditty that had been played on ‘Singing Together’ that week. That should bring back memories to those of you of a certain age. Singing Together was a radio programme, aimed at schools, that went out on the British Broadcorping Casteration’s Home Service one afternoon each week. Each term, a new Singing Together song booklet was issued and (depending on whether or not your school was participating) primary age school children all over Britain would be belting out such classics as Michael Finnegan, Botany Bay or the one which George and I chose, Bumping Up and Down in My Little Red Wagon.

So the evening progressed. Our carrier bags were filling up nicely with sweets, apples and occasionally dosh and George and I decided to head home with our hard earned goodies.

As we headed home, I’d almost forgotten what a tw*t I must have looked. The evening had gone quite well. Anyway, as always seemed to happen, you would meet other guisers and you would compare notes... ‘Huv ye been tae number 21? They’ve nae sweets left, they’ve only goat money.’ That sort of thing.

In the last group of fellow halloweeners that we met, there was one bigger kid who was looking at me rather quizzically. Finally, he asked me, ‘Ur you a boey or a lassie?’

I told my mother I’d dropped the crook.

.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 28th of October? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Arthur Wharton 1865 - Footy bloke.

Elsa Lanchester 1902 - Actress. Mary Shelley and The Monster’s Bride in Bride of Frankenstein.

Evelyn Waugh 1903 - Writer, journalist and book reviewer. Brideshead Revisited, that was one of his.

Pearl Hackney 1916 - Actress. She appeared in 21 episodes of an early 1950s show called The Eric Barker Half Hour. She didn’t use her married name which was Barker... Now, there’s a coincidence.

Cliff Hanley 1922 - Writer, journalist and TV presenter.

Cleo Laine 1927 - Singer. Shall we have a clip? Here she is with John Williams performing Cavatina. [Wasn't that replaced by the Ford Sierra? - Ed.]

Bill Rodgers 1928 - Politician who wanted his own party.

Joan Plowright 1929 - Ectress. Played Jean Rice in The Entertainer with that lovely luvvie Larry Olivier. She didn’t use her (soon to be) married name of Olivier.

Bernie Ecclestone 1930 - Business magnate.

Jack Hedley 1930 - Actor. Lt. Col. John Preston in Colditz.

Carl Davis 1936 - Composer. He wrote this sombre piece which you may recognise.

Graham Bond 1937 - Musician. Not a lot of footage available, but here he is with Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce and Dick Heckstall Smith (and sporting the oddest looking moustache ever) singing Hoochie Coochie Man.

David Dimbleby 1938 - Commentator and presenter.

Howard Blake 1938 - Composer. He wrote many works (not just the music for The Snowman) and here is a piece called Exhibition in Piccadilly.  That was worth listening to just to watch the accompanying film.

Hank Marvin 1941 - Musician and rhyming slang. Have a clip. Here’s The Savage.

Alastair McDonald 1941 - Musician. Have a clip. Here’s The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede.  There you go; you now know how to pronounce Kirkcudbright.

John Hallam 1941 - Actor. Thomas Mallen in The Mallens.

Jimmy McRae 1943 - Car racey bloke.

Glyn Ellis aka Wayne Fontana 1945 - Singer. A clip? Why soitenly. Here here is with his Mindbenders performing The Game of Love.  Can you spot the young Eric Stewart, who later found fame with 10CC?

David Dixon 1947 - Actor. Ford Prefect in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

John McGovern 1949 - Fitba guy. He played in the first game I ever went to.

Peter Hitchens 1951 - Journalist and author.

Mark James 1953 - Golfy bloke.

Jeff Stewart 1955 - Actor. PC Reg Hollis in The Bill.

Sandy Clark 1956 - Fitba guy.

Stephen Morris 1957 - Musician. Drummer with Joy Division and New Order, among others. Shall we have another clip? Yes, let’s. Here’s Regret.

William Reid 1958 - Musician. Co-founder of The Jesus and Mary Chain. Here’s a song from 2017 called Always Sad. Did I tell you he comes from Polomint City? [Probably. - Ed.]

Jason Watkins 1966 - Actor. Roger in Hold the Sunset.

Alan Smith 1980 - Footy bloke.

Matt Smith 1982 - Actor. Doctor Who number 342.

Joe Thomas 1983 - Actor. Simon Cooper in The Inbetweeners.

Eden Taylor-Draper 1997 - Actress. Belle Dingle (Oh how we laughed.) in Emmerdale.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Dear William Gramblereid,

It was nice to hear a song from your band, The Jesus and Mary Chain which wasn’t the obvious one. You know, the only one of your records to actually make the top ten... the name of which I’ve completely forgotten. Can you help?

Yours absent-mindedly,

A. Prill-Skighs.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did our last bet with Darkbloes fare? We didn’t lose... much. In fact, it was a big improvement on our previous bet. We got £1.86 back from our £2.20 stake. What happened? Read on.

 

Brentford vs Burnley - Home win

Result - Brentford 3 Burnley 0

Yay!

Bryan Mbeumo steered Neal Maupay's pass into the top corner just past the hour mark to double the hosts' lead after Yoana Wissa had broken the deadlock in the first half.

Saman Ghoddos completed the scoring with three minutes remaining, arrowing a powerful shot into the far corner from the edge of the penalty area.

Brentford got the opener their early dominance deserved when Wissa turned in Mbeumo's low cross at the far post.

Maupay thought he had given the hosts an eighth-minute lead when he nodded home Nathan Collins' cutback from a tight angle, but the Frenchman's header was controversially disallowed for offside against Kristoffer Ajer.

Burnley improved in the second half and should have pulled a goal back when Lyle Foster teed up Luca Koleosho with the score at 2-0, but the teenager somehow scuffed his shot past the post with the goal at his mercy.

Clarets defender Connor Roberts picked up a second yellow card late on after dragging Wissa to the floor, before Ghoddos put the seal on a comfortable Brentford victory.

 

Nottm Forest vs Luton - Home win

Result - Nottingham Forest 2 Luton 2

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Elijah Adebayo's excellent late goal helped Luton come from two goals down to claim a draw against Nottingham Forest.

The Hatters were trailing 2-0 until the 83rd minute when Forest failed to deal with a routine free-kick and Chiedozie Ogbene fired home the loose ball.

Substitute Adebayo then cushioned a long ball on his chest before stroking his finish past Matt Turner to level the game in the second added minute.

Earlier, Chris Wood had put Forest in front two minutes into the second half and added a second after 76 minutes to seemingly set them on course for victory before Luton's stunning late fightback.

 

Middlesbrough vs Birmingham - Home win

Result - Middlesbrough 1 Birmingham 0

Yay!

Morgan Rogers scrambled in an 89th-minute winner, just 13 minutes after coming off the bench.

Boro keeper Seny Dieng did keep out an early effort from Krystian Bielik, the hosts repeatedly got in behind the Blues back line.

Isaiah Jones was flagged for offside after having the ball in the net, while young striker Josh Coburn dragged his shot wide.

And Blues keeper John Ruddy had to make two key second-half saves from Hayden Hackney and Matt Crooks.

But Crooks was then involved in the move that led to Boro making their late breakthrough.

After Rogers set Crooks free out wide, when the low return pass came back to him, he managed to prod the ball inside Ruddy's near post 

 

 

Watford vs Sheff Wednesday - Home win

Result - Watford 1 Sheffield Wednesday 0

Yay!

Watford substitute Yaser Asprilla snatched a late winner to deny Sheffield Wednesday a point.

The Colombian had only been on the pitch for four minutes when he cut in from the right and rifled his finish across Cameron Dawson.

Dawson had barely been tested up to that point, with the visitors largely keeping Watford at bay and creating the better chances.

 

West Brom vs Plymouth - Home win

Result - West Bromwich Albion 0 Plymouth Argyle 0

Ooh! ’It the bar!

West Bromwich Albion and Plymouth Argyle played out a dismal goalless draw at The Hawthorns.

The visitors came closest to breaking the deadlock in the first half through chances from Ryan Hardie and Kaine Kesler-Hayden.

After the break, Grady Diangana prospered from Nathaniel Chalobah dispossessing Argyle before he saw his effort deflected wide by the visitors.

Albion continued to improve and almost sealed a late winner when Jayson Molumby's corner sailed in but Semi Ajayi and (ex-Motherwell man) Cedric Kipre failed to connect.

 

 

That was last week. Only a couple of ’It the bars spoiling our chances of a clean sweep. Ne’er mind, eh. What has The Grambler come up with this week. Five games all played at 3pm on Saturday the 28th of October and here they are.

Game - Result - Odds

Barnsley vs Fleetwood - Home win - 4/5

Oxford Utd. vs Wycombe - Home win - 19/20

Port Vale vs Cheltenham - Home win - 4/6

Reading vs Portsmouth - Away win - 21/20

Wigan vs Shrewsbury - Home win - 10/11

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£11.60

That’s more like it.

 .....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Artigas, Uruguay in 1999. A striker, I began my senior career at Peñarol, before moving to Almeria, Benfica and, my current club, Liverpool. I have been capped 20 times.

Answer - Darwin Núñez

2. Which Danish player has scored the most Premier League goals?

Answer - Christian Eriksen

3. What record is shared by Wolves, Burnley, Preston North End, Portsmouth and Sheffield United.

Answer - They have all been champions of each of the top four English divisions. Pre-Premier League days.

4. Which club plays its home games at the MKM Stadium?

Answer - Hull City

5. Another anagram? Why not. Can you name this famous footballer?

MAD CHAV BIKED

Answer - David Beckham

Shall we have five for this week? Of course we shall.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Barnsley, Yorkshire in 1959. A defender, I began my senior career at Barnsley, before moves to Manchester City, Celtic, Lyon and finally Millwall. I was capped for Ireland 57 times. As a coach, I have managed (deep breath) Millwall, Rep. of Ireland, Sunderland, Wolves, Ipswich, Rep. of Ireland (again), APOEL, Cardiff City and Blackpool.

2. Talking of Ireland, which Irish player won Manchester City’s player of the year award for four seasons running?

3. Which Swedish player has scored the most Premier League goals?

4. Which club plays its home games at the Toughsheet Community Stadium?

5. Another word jumble? Why not. Here’s another footballer from the past.

POSH LIP MONTH

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount quoted is miles out of date. Thanks to the good folk at Memories Tea Room, Burnbank, the total raised for the Bobby Moore Fund now stands at...

£72,365

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. J. L. Lewis who died exactly one year ago on the 28th October 2022. I thought it might be a nice tribute to the rock and roll legend, Jerry Lee Lewis aka The Killer. Goodness gracious, what could I possibly use as a clip?

Any road up, I had already made my mind up when I read a little into his private life. Hmm... not quite the legend, it would seem. He was married seven times, sometimes bigamously. I knew he had married very young, being only 16 when he married his first wife. I also knew that he had married his cousin when she was aged just 13. I’d assumed that she was his first wife. I was wrong. She was his third wife who he married when he was 22. His story gets seamier by the minute. She was only 14 when she gave birth to a son.

Perhaps his rock and roll legend status isn’t quite up there with Elvis Presley and Carl Perkins, but he’s certainly on a par with G*ry Gl*tt*r, M*ch**l J*cks*n and R*lf H*rr*s.

Mind you, he still produced a damn good toon to end this week’s edition. Ladeez and genullum here’s Great Balls of Fire. [He should have had his lopped off. - Ed.]

 

Goodness gracious, you look old

 

 

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.

 

Post 488 - The Grambler's a gas

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…

 

 

Your letters...

Sir,

Why do conductors at posh operas and stuff like that get given a bunch of flowers at the end? Flowers are a bit of a naff gift for a bloke. I’m sure they would much prefer a Costa Coffee voucher or something.

Yours,

S. Rattle.

 

Story Time...

What has caught my ire this week? British Ga... oops, nearly wrote it out in full. As I don’t relish the possibility of being taken to court by the lawyers of a huge energy company, let’s call them British not liquid or solid. Okay? No? well, it will have to do.

What is my gripe with this energy supplier? Pull up a chair and Oi’ll tell ee...

Firstly, a question... How do energy suppliers make profits? It is a genuine question; I really would like to know.

Some time earlier this year, I was contacted by letter from said company. It requested, nay, demanded that I get in touch with them because my gas meter was not recording my gas usage. If I didn’t deal with it I would be liable for increased charges. Hang on a mo... If my meter isn’t recording anything, why am I likely to get hit for higher costs? Surely, it is the gas provider’s problem that the piece of kit they provided is a piece of crap. It serves them right for buying shoddy goods. Agree? Of course you do.

However, as I wasn’t quite brave enough to express this opinion to them, I acquiesced (Ooh, that’s a good word; wonder what it means.) and got in touch as requested.

I telephoned the number quoted on the letter. My first problem was trying to speak to someone who could understand why I was phoning. No, I’m not being racist and suggesting that the person on the other end of the line did not use English as their first language. Not this time, anyway. No, the person on the other end of the line wasn’t accepting of the fact that the meter wasn’t working...

‘It will just need resetting. I’ll wait while you do that.’ said the less than helpful individual.

‘I’m sorry? Reset it? Me?’

‘Yes. Do that for me, would you?’

‘You cheeky b******! You demand that I call you because your piece of sh**** equipment doesn’t work and, as well as suggesting that I will have to pay you more money to put things right, you want me to f****** fix it myself?!! On your bike, pal. You’re not on.’

Actually, I didn’t say that. I said, ‘Okay.’

So, while the British... that company... employee waited on the phone, I went outside to reset the meter. Then, I re-entered the house to find the special key to open the box which houses the meter. After searching for what seemed to be ten minutes or more, I found the yellow, plastic key.

I opened the box, to be faced with various instructions about what I should or shouldn’t do... This mob seem to be downright bossy, I thought. Finally, I found the instruction about resetting the meter. It told me to press and hold a button for so many seconds and the meter would be set. I did this. It wasn’t. I went back inside the house to my phone.

‘Are you still there?’ I asked.

‘Yes. Did it work?’

‘No.’

‘Did you press the button for 20 seconds?’

‘Yes, I did.’

Then, the person on the phone asked me that question which, more than any other, really annoys me.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course, I’m sure. I can follow simple instructions. I’m not daft. although you seem to think I am.’

Actually, I didn’t say that. I said, ‘I’ll just check again.’

After checking it again, I told the cheeky sod on the phone that it was most definitely not working.

‘We’ll send an engineer out.’

At last. Progress.

Any road up, the engineer duly arrived to fit a new meter. Great. Job done. Better still, he told me that I wouldn’t have to pay any extra for this work being done. Oh good, I thought; although, inwardly, I was thinking, I should blibbing well hope not, given that it was your dodgy equipment that caused the problem, not me.

A few days later, I received a letter from the energy supplier which told me my meter wasn’t working and I would have to arrange for an engineer to visit and replace it with a new one. Since I now had a spanking new meter whichwas now functioning as it should, I simply ignored the letter.

A week or so later, another letter from that company dropped through my letterbox. It told me that the engineer couldn’t come to fit the meter as requested. Sorry pardon excuse me? It also told me that, because of the inconvenience caused, £30 would be deducted from my next bill. Did I phone to explain their error? Of course not.

A few days on and another letter arrived. This time the information imparted was short and to the point. It announced that as I had not arranged for an engineer to come to fit the meter, the matter was now closed. Eh? That was all it said. Should I phone to ask what is going on? No, they might want their 30 quid back.

More time passed... a few weeks, anyway... and another letter dropped onto my hall carpet. This time, it told me that everything was now sorted. Yay! No, not yay. There was also a mention of money. Lots of money. £180, no less. This time, I did phone and I spoke to a very pleasant lady from somewhere in Asia, I guessed.

I was already to complain...

‘I’ve received a letter from you telling me that I owe £180.’

‘Just a moment, sir, while I check your account. No, you don’t owe £180. This is the amount you are in credit and the letter is to let you know that it will be returned to your bank account.’

‘Oh. That’s... good.’ I said, not really believing what I was hearing.

‘In fact, you are over £400 in credit. We could transfer more than the £180 if you wish. May I suggest £350 and that will leave you with some credit if energy prices rise again?’

‘Yes, that’s... good. Thank you.’

That was a worthwhile phone call, don’t you think?

We now come to a bang up-to-date tale. Last week, a letter arrived to tell me that the annual service for my gas boiler was due. Mrs G phoned and made an appointment. A day or so later, an engineer telephoned to check if we were still happy for him to come at the appointed time.

Things are looking up. Perhaps British not liquid or solid have finally got their act together.

The engineer came as planned and gave the boiler a clean bill of health and, for once, didn’t try to sell me some ‘necessary’ upgrade. I was bidding the engineer goodbye when the postman came to the door. He gave me a letter. Guess who from. Yep. Right first time. British G... them. Guess what it said... I’m sure you are well ahead of me here... It told me to contact them so that I could arrange to have my annual gas boiler service carried out.

Back to my question... How do energy companies make profits? It’s not down to whoever organises engineers or sends letters, that’s for sure.

The words arse and elbow come to mind.

.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 21st of October? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge 1772 - Poet. The Rime of The Ancient Mariner, that was one of his.

Georg Solti 1912 - Conductor.

Malcolm Arnold 1921 - Another conductor.

Leonard Rossiter 1926 - Actor. Rigsby in Rising Damp.

Georgia Brown 1933 - Singer. Her real name was Lilian Klot. [I wonder why she felt the need to change it. - Ed.] Here is a medley of songs she performed on The Good Old Days.

Lord Luvvaduck, if it ain’t sweet Georgia Brahn

Geoff Boycott 1940 - Crickety bloke, sithee.

Manfred Mann 1940 - Musician. Shall we have a little clip? I think so. Here’s his (and his Earth Band’s) take on Jupiter from Holst’s Planet Suite, Joybringer.

Dickie Pride 1941 - Singer. He signed to Larry Parnes, a music manager and promoter of the 1950s who had the nickname of Parnes, Shillings and Pence given to him, such was his propensity (Another good word; I must look that one up.) for making dosh. He had a stable of bankable pop artists under his control. Sadly, although Pride’s stage act was said to be one of the best of the era, his record sales were never high, so Parnes dropped him. Pride tried various comebacks with groups The Guv’nors and The Sidewinders. Any success was brief and he suffered mental health problems which were perhaps exacerbated (There’s another.) by drug use. He died aged just 27. He had only one solo (minor) hit record, Primrose Lane.

Tariq Ali 1943 - Political activist, writer and historian.

Tommy Wright 1944 - Footy bloke.

Mandy Rice-Davies 1944 - Actress, it says here.

Anne Lorne Gillies 1944 - Singer, writer, broadcaster and politician. Here’s a bit of Gaelic country and western(?), Larach Do Tachaidean.

Tetsu Yamauchi 1946 - Bass guitarist. A session musician, he joined Free when Andy Fraser left and later took over from Ronnie Laine in The Faces. He also produced a few solo works. Here’s a track from Tetsu & The Good Times Roll Band, the title of which translates as Wake Up.

Phil Ryan 1946 - Musician. He was a member of Welsh band, Man. Then he left. Then he joined again. Then he left again. Then he joined yet again. Keep up at the back! Here’s one of his compositions, Something is Happening

Peter Mandelson 1953 - Politician.

Eric Faulkner 1953 - A Bay City Roller. Would you like a clip? Of course you would. Here’s the group’s last record to chart, You Made Me Believe in Magic.  Eric’s the one wearing what appear to be hotpants.

John Baine aka Attila the Stockbroker 1957 - Musician and poet.

Julian Cope 1957 - Musician and author. A clip? Why not. Here’s an oldie, Trampolene.

Steve Pyke 1957 - Photographer.

Rose McDowall 1959 - Musician. She was half of Strawberry Switchblade. A clip. Of course. Here’s their biggie, Since Yesterday.  Interesting outfits, ladies.

Kevin Sheedy 1959 - Footy bloke.

Cleveland Watkiss 1959 - Singer, composer and actor. Let’s have some reggae jehzzz (?) Here’s Gimme What You Got.

Robert Marlow 1961 - Musician. Let’s have a clip. Here’s a very minor hit he had called The Face of Dorian Gray.

Paul Ince 1967 - Footy bloke.

Tony Mortimer 1970 - Musician and record producer. The songwriter in the group East 17. His solo career didn’t provide any hits, although he must have thought that this, complete with cheesy video, would have charted.  Here's Shake It Down.

Paul Telfer 1971 - Fitba guy.

Jade Jagger 1971 - Clothes horse. Mick’s lass.

Kieran Richardson 1984 - Footy bloke.

Oliver Wilde 1988 - Musician. A clip? Indeed. Here’s Perrett's Brook.

Sam Vokes 1989 - Footy bloke.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Eric Gramblener,

Absolutely wunnnderful to hear your wunnnnderful group the wunnnnderful Bay City Rollers who, as everyone of a certain age will know, were quite good. I was at a wunnnderful party recently where everybody pretended they were waving tartan scarves like we did back in the 1970s when a particular song of yours was played. It was simply wunnnnderful! However, the memory isn’t what it was and I can’t remember the title of the song. Can you help.

Yours in wunnnnder,

Sian Galang.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did our last bet with Drakboles fare? Sadly, not very well. We didn’t lose. Not completely. We got 62 pees back from our £2.20 stake. Oh dear. What happened? Read on.

Cambridge vs Shrewsbury - Home win

Result - Cambridge 1 Shrewsbury 1

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Michael Morrison scored his first Cambridge goal in over 16 years as they drew 1-1 with Shrewsbury.

The U's had been frustrated until the 69th minute, when the captain picked the ball up just inside the opposition half and proceeded beyond five challenges before firing past Marko Marosi for a remarkable solo effort.

Morrison's last goal for the club had come on 23 January 2007.

The home side missed a number of chances in a goalless first half. James Brophy was denied by an excellent Tom Flanagan block, before Morrison fired wide when well placed following Ryan Bennett's knockdown.

Seven minutes before half-time Liam Bennett released Fejiri Okenabirhie on the right and the forward squared the ball to Jack Lankester, who crashed his effort onto the crossbar.

Morrison's moment of magic looked to have won the game, only for Shrewsbury to snatch a point two minutes from the end.

The hosts could not clear from within their area, and Taylor Perry slammed an equaliser past Jack Stevens.

 

Lincoln vs Burton - Home win

Result - Lincoln 0 Burton 1

Boo!

Jack Burroughs' own goal handed Burton a win at the expense of 10-man Lincoln at Sincil Bank.

Daniel Mandroiu was sent off 10 minutes after half-time for a rash tackle on Burton forward Josh Gordon and the Brewers wasted no time in taking advantage.

Less than five minutes later, Burroughs diverted Joe Powell's corner beyond goalkeeper Lukas Jensen.

Earlier, Mason Bennett had cut inside and fired his effort wide of Jensen's goal as Burton looked to open the scoring with the game 11 v 11.

Bennett had another chance to open the scoring after Gordon and Bez Lubala linked up well, but his effort was smothered by Jensen.

Lincoln managed just one shot on target all afternoon through that of Burroughs, who forced Max Crocombe into a fine save to prevent the Imps opening the scoring at 0-0.

But it was ultimately Burroughs' mistake at the other end that separated the sides as Burton took the points.

 

Crewe vs Tranmere - Home win

Result - Crewe 2 Tranmere 0

Yay!

Tranmere had goalkeeper Luke McGee and defender Tom Davies sent off as they went down to a 2-0 defeat at local rivals Crewe.

Jack Powell floated over a 40-yard free-kick and Mickey Demetriou drifted free to plant a header into the bottom corner in the 11th minute to give Crewe the lead.

Seven minutes into the second half, McGee left Tranmere in the mire when he was stranded several yards outside the penalty box as he handled Chris Long's goalbound attempt to earn a straight red card.

Long deepened Rovers' troubles when blasting the resulting free-kick into the bottom corner, with veteran keeper Joe Murphy's first action off the bench being to pick the ball out of the net.

After a lengthy stoppage following an incident in the crowd, the visitors rallied and went close to reducing the arrears when Connor Jennings glanced the crossbar with a thundering drive.

Crewe's goal was busy in the closing minutes (and 13 of added time) when Harvey Saunders lifted over from close range and rattled the bar with a header while Courtney Baker-Richardson cleared a header from Jennings off the line.

Tranmere's woes were complete when skipper Davies earned his side's second dismissal of the game with a second yellow card for a late tackle deep into stoppage time.

 

Grimsby vs Accrington - Home win

Result - Grimsby 0 Accrington 2

Boo!

Accrington put 10-man Grimsby to the sword with two late strikes in a 2-0 victory at Blundell Park.

Shaun Whalley and Josh Andrews helped Accrington deservedly pick up three points after Luke Waterfall saw red for two bookable offences.

A superb block from Accrington defender Jay Baghuelou denied Harry Clifton in the early stages, while his Grimsby team-mate Harvey Rodgers glanced over the crossbar after meeting an out-swinging Jamie Andrews corner.

At the other end, Josh Andrews went close with a tame header before Abo Eisa saw his shot clawed away by Accrington goalkeeper Jon McCracken.

Grimsby striker Danny Rose prodded goalwards upon the restart from a set-piece as Eisa then passed up a golden opportunity - on the hour mark - when the winger fired over right-footed from inside the six-yard area.

Waterfall handed Accrington an advantage when he was sent off with 18 minutes to play and they instantly seized control with Whalley and Josh Andrews both scoring in quickfire fashion to help their side.

 

Swindon vs Newport - Home win

Result - Swindon 2 Newport 0

Yay!

Swindon Town eased past Newport County in a hard-fought game at the County Ground.

Swindon led when Charlie Austin picked out Dan Kemp, who took the ball past Exiles goalkeeper Jon Maxted to score.

Austin thought he had doubled the lead, but play was called back for a foul in the build-up.

But Rushian Hepburn-Murphy sealed the win when he poked home a loose ball, after Maxted pushed Saidou Khan's shot onto the post.

 

In The Grambler’s defence, two of those results went awry because of sendings off. Anyway, let’s see what he/she/it has predicted for this weekend. All games take place on Saturday, 21st of October at 3pm.

Game* - Result - Odds

Brentford vs Burnley - Home win - 4/5

Nottm Forest vs Luton - Home win - 4/6

Middlesbrough vs Birmingham - Home win - 4/5

Watford vs Sheff Wednesday - Home win - 7/10

West Brom vs Plymouth - Home win - 7/10

 

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£9.12

Nine quid 12 pees? Whopping? I don’t think so.

* As we go to press, all these games are due to be played, in spite of the awful weather conditions.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in 1974 in Salford. A midfielder, I played my entire senior career for one club, Manchester United. In 2011 I retired to take up a coaching job with the club. However, I resumed my playing career in 2012 for one more year. I was capped for England 66 times.

Answer - Paul Scholes [Doesn’t he make sandals? - Ed.]

2. It is well-known that Norwegian player, Erling Haaland was the top Premier League scorer in the 2022/23 season, but which Norwegian was also in the top ten scorers?

Answer - Martin Ødegaard

3. Which Uruguayan has scored the most international goals?

Answer - That famous ear muncher Luis Suárez

4. Which English club plays its home games at the stadium known as The Valley?

Answer - Charlton Athletic

5. ARMY GEM JIVES?

Answer - Jimmy Greaves

Shall we have five for this week. Aye, go on then...

1. Who am I?

I was born in Artigas, Uruguay in 1999. A striker, I began my senior career at Peñarol, before moving to Almeria, Benfica and, my current club, Liverpool. I have been capped 20 times.

2. Which Danish player has scored the most Premier League goals?

3. What record is shared by Wolves, Burnley, Preston North End, Portsmouth and Sheffield United.

4. Which club plays its home games at the MKM Stadium?

5. Another anagram? Why not. Can you name this famous footballer?

MAD CHAV BIKED

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount quoted in the video is miles out of date. The total now stands at...

£72,220

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. L. Rossiter who was one of Britain’s great, and much sought after, comic actors in the 1970s. If he was involved in any production, you knew you were in for a treat.  He could make even a mediocre script funny.  As it would have been his birthday today, let's have a finishing clip from him. What should it be, I ask myself. Rising Damp? The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin? His impression as one of the Andrews Sisters with Morecambe and Wise? A Cinzano Bianco ad with Joan Collins?  No, none of these. Instead, please enjoy a short film he made in 1979... Ladeez and genullum I give you Le Pétomane.

 

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.

 

Post 487 - The Grambler on oddly parked cars

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…

 

 

Your letters...

Sir,

I’ve heard it said that too many cooks spoil the broth. I don’t know about that, but they certainly spoil daytime television.

Yours,

A. Worrall-Thompson.

Story Time...

You are probably wondering why there has been no edition of your favourite ill-informed blog for a few weeks. What do you mean, you hadn’t noticed? Charming!  Beardy Man's Wi-Fi coverage can be blamed, but that is only part of the reason.

It has been a busy time for Mrs G and me. A family wedding, another fundraising singalongabingo (See Post 477 - Do the gramble-motion for an explanation to that one.) and a couple of jaunts away.

One such jaunt was a bucket lister, no less. Yes indeed. I have always wanted to visit Orkney and Shetland, so those were the destinations for Mrs G and me.

The first night was spent in Thurso, the northernmost town on the British mainland [How very interesting. Yawn! - Ed.]. Mrs G and I travelled there by coach. [Well done you... What point are you struggling to make here? - Ed.] Well, I noticed a rather odd phenomenon while travelling up there. Old cars. [And? - Ed.] In fields. [I'm sorry? - Ed.] Dumped.

You are probably thinking that there is nothing unusual in seeing a car dumped. I'm sure many cars have been dumped in fields. The difference here was that these were abandoned in the middle of huge fields. A single car, slap, bang in the middle of a huge cultivated field. Then, a mile or two further on, another car similarly abandoned in the middle of a large field. Travel a bit further and, stone me, there's another one. The odd thing was that there was no evidence of how they got there.

Anyway, we also visited Orkney, as I have already stated. Lovely place with more history than you can shake a stick at. Here's something that caught my eye. There is a place on the main island called Harray and there is an artisan there who makes pottery. Can you guess what name he goes by? Yes, you at the back? That's right, Harray Potter. Oh how we laughed.

Anyway, back to the plot. After Orkney, the coach headed to Shetland and guess what we saw. Only another car dumped in the middle of a field. Will somebody please tell me what the blibbing flip is going on?

Were they driven into the middle of the field? Doubtful, as they were all fairly ordinary cars without the traction needed to negotiate a less than smooth field.

Were they lifted bodily into position? Unlikely. If that were the case, an awful lot of people would have been needed to do the lifting.

There seemed to be no indication of how they got there. The crops were growing evenly all around them or, as in one case, the cattle had munched their way through the grass all around the vehicle in question and there was no sign of any disturbance such as wheel tracks or footprints.

It was all very strange, but I think I know what has happened. Oh yes. I have the answer. [Of course you have. You always have. - Ed.] I have... honest.

The answer is... aliens [I'm sorry? What? - Ed.] Yes. Aliens. You remember those crop circles that appeared all over the place in the 80s and 90s? The ones that nobody could explain? Some folk were convinced they were the work of aliens.

Oddly, you don’t see crop circles any more. And do you know why that is? It is because the aliens are too busy teleporting cars into the middle of fields.

If you can come up with a more plausible explanation, let me know.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 23rd of September? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Emma Orczy 1865 - Authoress. Who? Here’s a clue: They seek her here, they seek her there, etc. Yep, she wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Wally Whyton 1929 - Musician and radio and TV presenter.

Colin Blakely 1930 - Actor. Played Stalin in the 1983 TV film, Red Monarch.

George Eastham 1936 - Footy bloke

Henry Blofeld 1939 - Ex-cricket comentator.

John Banks 1943 - Musician. He was drummer with The Merseybeats. How about a clip? Here’s the group’s biggest hit, I Think of You.

Tony Gubba 1943 - TV sports presenter.

Jim McCalliog 1946 - Fitba guy.

Floella ‘Baroness’ Benjamin 1949 - Actress, singer, presenter, author and politician.

Nicholas Witchall 1953 - Newsreader and ‘Royal correspondent’. Sounds like a cushy number.

Kenny Burns 1953 - Fitba guy.

Andrew Bodnar 1954 - Musician. Bass player with Graham Parker and The Rumour. Here’s the band’s biggest hit, their version of the Trammps’ Hold Back the Night.

Cherie Blair 1954 - Letterbox impressionist.

Lesley Fitz-Simons 1961 - Actress. Sheila Ramsay in Take the High Road.

Mark Stacey 1964 - Celebrity antiques expert.

Yvette Fielding 1958 - The youngest ever presenter of Blue Peter, joining the programme when she was 18.

Karl Pilkington 1972 - Celebrity idiot.

Robert James-Collier 1976 - Actor. Thomas Barrow in Downton Abbey.

Next, we have those born on the 30th of September...

Alfred Dunhill 1872 - Cigarette manufacturer. I wonder how many lives he cut short.

Michael Powell 1905 - Film-maker.

Deborah Kerr 1921 - Ectress, don’t cha know. Anna Leonowens in The King and I when she got to know Yul Brynner.

Donald Swann 1923 - Musician, composer and singer. One half of popular duo Flanders and Swann. [Which one was he? - Ed.] Ahem... Here’s The Wompom.

I seem to have dropped my hat.

(Only those of a certain age will understand that)

Barbara Knox 1932 - Actress. Rita (deep breath) Bates/Littlewood/Fairclough/Sullivan/Tanner in Coronation Street.

Janet Reger 1935 - Knicker maker.

Meg Johnson 1936 - Actress. Eunice Nuttall/Gee in Coronation Street.

Angela Pleasence 1941 - Actress. Winnie in Happy Valley. Donald’s lass.

Gus Dudgeon 1942 - Record producer.

Mike Harrison 1945 - Musician. Frontman of Spooky Tooth. Who? Have a clip. Here’s That Was Only Yesterday.

Ian Ogilvy 1943 - Actor. Simon Templar in The Return of the Saint.

Jimmy ‘Jinky’ Johnstone 1944 - Fitba guy.

Marc Bolan 1947 - Musician. Frontman of T-Rex. I think a clip is in order. Here’s Hot Love.

Rula Lenska 1947 - Actress. Claudia Colby in Coronation Street.

John Lloyd 1951 - Radio and TV producer.

Jack Wild 1952 - Actor. Most famously The Artful Dodger in Oliver!

Ian McCall 1964 - Fitba guy.

Omid Djalili 1965 - Comedian it says here.

Mark Smith 1969 - Rhino in Gladiators.

Alex Rae 1969 - Fitba guy.

Roy Carroll 1977 - Foody blook, so he is.

Richard Ashdown 1978 - You perhaps don’t know him by name, but if you watch darts you have probably heard him cry ONE HUNDRED AND AYYYTY!

Cyrus Christie 1992 - Footy bloke bejabers.

Now then, what about the 7th of October?

Francis Frith 1822 - Pioneer of photography.

Niels Bohr 1885 - Physicist and Nobel Prize winner.

Fred Yule 1893 - Actor, comedian and singer. A stalwart of the wartime radio show It’s That Man Again playing numerous characters including Johann Bull, Norman the Doorman, Andrew Geekie, George Gorge and Bigga Banga.

Richard Caldicott 1908 - Actor. Most famously Captain Povey in The Navy Lark.

Joseph Cooper 1912 - Pianist and broadcaster. Chairman of BBC’s Face the Music.

Christopher Booker 1937 - Journalist and author.

Ann Jones 1938 - Tennisy bloke.

Kevin Godley 1945 - Musician. Founder member of 10CC, he later teamed up with fellow 10CC member Lol Creme to produce music and music videos. A clip? I should think so. Here is the beautiful 5 O'Clock in the Morning. Try to ignore the scary man at the beginning.

Hugh Fraser 1950 - Actor. Hastings in Poirot.

Jane Torvill 1957 - Skatey bloke.

Simon Cowell 1959 - Entrepreneur.

Micky Flanagan 1962 - Comedian.

Paul Stewart 1964 - Footy bloke.

Sam Brown 1964 - Singer. Here’s her last biggish hit, Kissing Gate.Was that Nicky Campbell?

Thom Yorke 1968 - Musician. Frontman of Radiohead. Here, with a very odd video, is Man of War.

Michelle Mone 1971 - Another knicker maker.

Tim Minchin 1975 - Comedian.

Alesha Dixon 1978 - Singer, dancer, author, etc.. One time member if Mis-Teeq. A clip? Why, soitenly. Have a bit of Style.

Tony Way 1978 - Jobbing actor. Chestnut in Zapped.

Jermain Defoe 1982 - Footy bloke.

James McArthur 1987 - Fitba guy.

Trent Alexander-Arnold 1998 - Footy bloke.

Let’s not forget the 14th of October.

Charlie Cooper 1893 - Racing car manufacturer (with son, John).

Bud Flanagan 1896 - Comedian and singer. Here’s a bit of British cinematic corn from 1937 with Flanagan (and comedy partner Chesney Allen) singing Free. 

Roger Moore 1927 - Actor. James Bond in seven films about 007.

Alex Glasgow 1935 - Singer songwriter. Most famous for his version of the traditional song When the Boowat Comes In.

Christopher Timothy 1940 - Actor. Jaes Herriot in All Creatures Great and Small.

Cliff Richard 1940 - Singer. Shall we have a song by Cliff? Yeah, let’s. Here’s his last number one record when he was a mere lad of 78, Rise Up.

Roger Taylor 1941 - Tennisy bloke.

Lesley Joseph 1945 - Actress. Dorien Green in Birds of a Feather.

Katy Manning 1946 - Actress. Jo Grant in Doctor Who.

Justin Hayward 1946 - Musician. Frontman of The Moody Blues from 1966 until the band dissolution in 2018. Have another clip. Here is a recent rendition of Forever Autumn.

Dan McCafferty 1946 - Singer and songwriter. Frontman of Nazareth. I’m spoiling you, but here’s another clip - May the Sunshine.

David Murray 1951 - Businessman.

Steve Cram 1960 - Runny bloke.

Steve Coogan 1965 - Actor comedian.

Jason Plato 1967 - Racing driver turned TV presenter.

Matt Le Tissier 1968 - Footy bloke.

Michael Duberry 1975 - Footy bloke.

Shaznay Lewis 1975 - Singer, songwriter and All Saint. A clip? But, of course. I fancy a coffee, black, of course.

Paul Hunter 1978 - Snookery bloke.

Steven Thompson 1978 - Fitba guy.

Jonathan Ashworth 1978 - Politician.

Colin Furze 1979 - Youtube personality.

Ben Wishaw 1980 - Actor. Q in Skyfall.

Kevin Thomson 1984 - Fitba guy.

Jack Farthing 1985 - Actor. George Warleggan in Poldark.

Shona McGarty 1991 - Actress. Whitney Dean in Eastenders. You slag.

Daniel Roche 1999 - Actor. Ben Brockman in Outnumbered... The annoying kid.

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Kevin Grambley,

It was lovely to hear a song of yours from your post 10CC years; even though it was Lol Creme doing most of the work while you just lounged on the piano. Anyhoo, here’s a question for you: 10CC had a few number ones, but what was the first? Eh? Answer me that, smartyboots.

Yours sincerely,

Rob Erbulitz.

 

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did our last bet with Drabkoles fare? I can’t remember. It was weeks ago. Let’s say we won... I’ve no idea if we did or not, but let’s be optimistic. Shall we have a little gramble, this week? Aye, go on.

Game Result - Odds

Cambridge vs Shrewsbury - Home win - Evens

Lincoln vs Burton - Home win - Evens

Crewe vs Tranmere - Home win - 4/5

Grimsby vs Accrington - Home win - 11/10

Swindon vs Newport - Home win - 7/10

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£12.50

More whopping than usual, that’s for sure.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Stourbridge in the West Midlands in 2003. I joined Birmingham City as an under eight and made my senior debut there in 2019 aged just 16 years and 38 days. In 2020, I moved to Borussia Dortmund and this year have transferred to Real Madrid. I have been capped 26 times for England.

Answer - Jude Bellingham

2. Which Swedish player scored the most Premier League goals last season?

Answer - Alexander Isak

3. Which Croatian has scored the most international goals?

Answer - Davor Šuker

4. A Champions League question - Which two clubs are in the Champions League Group Stage for the first time?

Answer - Antwerp and Union Berlin

5. An anagram...

WEEKLY LARK

Answer - Kyle Walker [Some would say that anagram was quite apt. - Ed.]

What about five to test your footy knowledge this week?

1. Who am I?

I was born in 1974 in Salford. A midfielder, I played my entire senior career for one club, Manchester United. In 2011 I retired to take up a coaching job with the club. However, I resumed my playing career in 2012 for one more year. I was capped for England 66 times.

2. It is well-known that Norwegian player, Erling Haaland was the most prolific Premier League scorer in the 2022/23 season, but which Norwegian was also in the top ten scorers?

3. Which Uruguayan has scored the most international goals?

4. Which English club plays its home games at the stadium known as The Valley?

5. let’s finish with another anagram...

ARMY GEM JIVES

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount raised is miles out of date. The total has jumped again, as over £100 went in after one of my ‘nostalgia’ presentations. My thanks go to the Linvale ladies’ group.

£72,220

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. C. Furze who provides us with this week’s finishing link. If you have never heard of Colin Furze, and you are probably not alone, he is a YouTuber, I believe is the correct term, who posts films of his crazy engineering projects. There are so many online, it is difficult to choose one. I think this one is one of his wackiest and I can’t imagine what his neighbours thought of it... The guy's Mad!

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.