Friday 30 December 2016

Week 21 - The Grambler on George Michael


Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland recently.


Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see. Read on and enjoy

 

Did you have a good Gramblemas? Yes? I’m pleased to hear that. Me? Yes, very nice, thanks for asking. There was just one thing that spoiled it. The news coming through that Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou had died. Who? George Michael to you and me. [No wonder he changed that name. - Ed.]

You are probably thinking I am going to do that usual Grambler thing of being quite scathing about somebody who has just died. Well, I don’t intend to. Well, not much, anyway. George Michael’s music may not have been my cup of tea, but I will admit that he was a very good singer with a powerful voice. He also wrote some excellent songs. Who can forget the brilliant Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. I know I can’t. It was one of those clever songs that got stuck in your head whenever you heard it and you would be humming it all day long. I’m doing it now. When I say clever, I don’t mean that I consider it to be a particularly brilliant song. No, it was clever because it got you hooked and reeled in on the first hearing. So for clever, you might substitute annoying.

That was a song from his days in Wham or should I say his days as Wham? I could never quite work out Andrew Ridgeley’s contribution. After going solo, George began to produce more serious songs and, I have to admit, there were one or two that I quite enjoyed. Faith was a good un. Careless Whisper was the first indication that his style was changing and, though it was credited to Wham in some parts of the world (presumably to cash in on the success of Wham), it was very much a solo effort. A good song, definitely, but it contained some of the daftest lyrics ever. Guilty feet have got no rhythm? What the heck does that mean?

He was a troubled individual, it would seem. There were so many stories of his embarrassing misdemeanors over the years that he became a bit of a joke to some. He always struck me as having a good sense of humour, though, and laughed all the incidents off.

One of the most bizarre of his exploits occurred in 2013 when he was being driven along the M1 in his car. George was in the back seat and he thought the door wasn’t shut properly and tried to close it. Unfortunately, he misjudged it and actually fell out of the car. He was very lucky to have sustained only minor injuries because he tumbled out of the vehicle onto the fast lane of the motorway; other drivers managed to swerve out of the way to avoid him. There was much speculation at the time that his actions had been deliberate. Was he trying to kill himself? Nobody knows.

My abiding memory of George Michael is nothing to do with his unfortunate escapades; it is his generosity at the time of the Ethiopian famine back in 1984. It was December and the song Last Christmas was heading surely for the coveted Christmas number one spot. George (and Andrew Ridgeley) gave all the proceeds from the song to the Ethiopean appeal. Not only that, but when Do They Know It’s Christmas was released, they asked everyone to go out and buy that single rather than theirs to ensure that Geldof and Ure’s Band Aid song got to number one to highlight the famine in Africa.

That is all very well, you say, but what about a clip? What would be an appropriate tribute to the man? Well, there will be fitting tributes aplenty elsewhere. The Grambler has to do things a bit differently. A most inappropriate tribute is what you are about to get. Probably, George Michael’s most embarrassing moment was the time he was arrested for ‘performing a lewd act’ in a public convenience. I don’t need to go into details. Let’s just call it a monosexual act. The incident forced him to publicly announce that he was homosexual and no doubt lost him a lot of female fans who suddenly realised that they had been well and truly barking up the wrong tree. His sense of humour saw him through and he even released a single to ‘celebrate’ his coming out. The accompanying video sent himself and the US polis up perfectly.  Ladeez and gennulum, I give you Let's Go Outside.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

What footy news do we have other than all the speculation about which club is going to pay gazillions of pounds for whatever player from whichever club before the transfer window closes?

I think Troy Deeney deserves a mention. Why, you ask. Because on Monday his scored his 100th goal for Watford. Yay! He is only the fifth man in the team’s history to have reached the magic ton.

One other worrying piece of news is that Hairy Redcap wants the vacant Swansea manager’s job. Oh no! Not only that, but he has threatened to bring John ‘not a racist’ Terry with him. Please no. Hairy Redknees history has been... erm... chequered, to say the least. Portsmouth, once a Premiershit side are still languishing in the lower leagues thanks to Harry’s... erm... dealings. Give the job to Chris Coleman. He seems a nice enough bloke. And he’s Welsh.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

 

Were any famous or notorious people born on the 31st of December? Of course. Here are some I’ve even heard of. Charles Edward Louis John Casimir Sylvester Severino Maria Stuart 1720 (Who the..? Oh that Charles Stuart. Aka the Young Pretender, the Young Chevalier [Sank evun for leedle gurls... Oh, not him. - Ed.] and Bonnie Prince Charlie.), Henri Matisse 1869 (Wild beast. There’s an arty reference there that probably only Will Gompertz will understand.), Florence Nightingale Graham 1978 (No not the lady with the limp. Better known by her ‘cosmetic’ name Elizabeth Arden.), William Heynes 1904 (Who? He worked for Jaguar during the 1940s and 50s. Helped design the brilliant XK engine. [Really? How interesting. Yawn. - Ed.], Jule Styne 1905 (Songwriter. With lyricist Sammy Cahn wrote - among many others - Five Minutes More, Three Coins in the Fountain and this seasonal favourite, Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow.), Simon Wiesenthal 1908 (Man who really knew how to bear a grudge.), Peter May 1929 (Crickety bloke.), Anthony Hopkins 1937 (Welsh Ectaw, isn’t it. Loves a drop of chianti.), Alex Ferguson 1941 (Footy bloke.), Sarah Miles 1941 (Slightly loopy ectress.), Andy Summers 1942 (A policeman.), John Denver 1943 (Singer/songwriter. Definitely time for a clip... All together now... You fill my senses...), Krishna Bhanji 1943 (Who? Better known as Sir Ben Kingsley, ectaw, dear leddie.), Pete Quaife 1943 (A Kink. Another link? Why not?  Girl, you really got me going... ), Joe Dallesandro 1948 (Starred in Andy Warhol’s Flesh, Trash and Heat. That’s three separate films, apparently.), Sandy Jardine 1948 (Footy bloke.), LaDonna Adrian Gaines 1948 (Who? Better known as Donna Summer. Want a link? Course you do. All together now... Ooooh it's so good it's so good it's so good.), Alex Salmond 1954 (Quote: Can we just remember that Marks out of Marks and Spencer was a refugee? Mo Farah was a refugee. Freddie Mercury was a refugee who came to this country. All made huge contributions. Jesus Christ was a refugee from Palestine to Egypt. These people are not just a problem, they are a potential opportunity for the countries which give them a safe haven.), Val Kilmer 1959 (Starred in the 1996 film The Island of Doctor Moreau considered by some to be the worst film ever made.), Steve Bruce 1960 (Whispering footy bloke.), Malcolm Middleton 1973 (Scottish musician. You’ve never heard of him? Time for a clip; a festive one. This was his shot at a Christmas number one in 2007. Strangely, it only got to number 31. Ladeez and gennulum I give you the incredibly upbeat We're All Going to Die .) and Craig Gordon 1982 (Footy bloke.).

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

 

Let’s move on to grambling matters. How did we do last week? Oh dear. 62 pees back. That’s all. Rubbish. Anyway, let’s see how the games went. Read on...

 

 

Bristol Rovers vs Coventry - Prediction Home win

Result - Bristol Rovers 4 Coventry 1

Yay!

The hosts took an 18th-minute lead when Bodin's free-kick from the right was met by Peter Hartley, who sent a glancing header past Lee Burge from 12 yards.

Billy Bodin grabbed the second in the 54th minute, making space to drive a fierce left-footed shot into the centre of the goal from Rory Gaffney's pass.

Three minutes later the Sky Blues replied when centre-back Jordan Willis took advantage of poor defending to volley home Gael Bigirimana's left-wing corner from close range.

Bodin clinched the points in the 74th minute with another sweetly struck left-footed shot, this time from 25 yards. The midfielder completed his treble from the penalty spot nine minutes later after being tripped by Turnbull.

 

Millwall vs Swindon - Prediction Home win

Result - Millwall 2 Swindon 0

Yay!

Lee Gregory looked dangerous from the off and it took him just 10 minutes to open the scoring, bamboozling Swindon defenders before firing home from a tough angle.

That woke Swindon up but Sean Murray's shot fell easily into Jordan Archer's arms, before Michael Doughty blazed over the home side's bar.

At the other end Gregory fizzed a shot just over before Shaun Hutchinson's goal-bound header from a corner was hooked clear by Robins defender Raphael Rossi Branco after half an hour.

The Lions continued to press but could not add a second before half-time, and should have been made to pay on the hour only for Swindon's Luke Norris to flash an effort wide with just Archer to beat.

And Gregory showed Norris how it was done five minutes later, volleying home Steve Morison's chip from close range.

 

MK Dons vs Charlton - Prediction Home win

Result - MK Dons 0 Charlton 1

Boo!

Ademola Lookman's seventh goal of the season was all that Karl Robinson needed to see off his former club MK Dons and secure his first League One win as Charlton manager.

 

Oxford Utd vs Northampton - Prediction Home win

Result - Oxford Utd 0 Northampton 1

Boo!

Marc Richards struck a stoppage-time winner as Northampton snatched a dramatic derby victory over Oxford. Substitute Harry Beautyman knocked Matt Taylor's corner back across goal and Richards stuck out a foot to flick the ball home at the far post.

 

Peterborough vs Gillingham - Prediction Home win

Result - Peterborough 1 Gillingham 1

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Baily Cargill grabbed his first Gillingham goal to earn his side a last-gasp leveller at Peterborough.

The on-loan Bournemouth defender hooked in a Scott Wagstaff cross in the second minute of stoppage time to ensure the spoils were shared at the ABAX Stadium.

The Gills had looked to be heading for defeat after substitute Lee Angol fired Posh ahead with 12 minutes to go. But Baily fn Cargill had to go and muck things up for The Grambler. Thanks for nothing Baily.

 

Oh well, let’s see if The Grambler can give us some better predictions this week. All matches start at 3pm on Saturday the 31st of December.

Game - Result - Odds

Huddersfield vs Blackburn - Prediction Home win - 3/4

Wolves vs QPR - Prediction Home win - 17/20

Oxford Utd vs Walsall - Prediction Home win - 10/11

Peterborough vs Coventry - Prediction Home win - 3/4

Plymouth vs Crawley Town - Prediction Home win - 4/5

The bets have been placed (10 x 20 pee doubles plus 1 x 20 pee accumulator) and if they all go according to The Grambler’s Prediction, the Bobby Moore Fund stands to receive a whopping...

£10.45

Just a touch less whopping than last week.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time. Yay! Last week I asked you why AC Milan supporters sang You’ll Never Walk Alone before their 1989 European Cup semi-final against Real Madrid. It happened right after the Hillsborough disaster where 96 died and 766 were injured. AC Milan fans wanted to show their support and, just days following the disaster, printed off song sheets with the words to You’ll Never Walk Alone and handed them out amongst their support with a plea to learn them for the next home game against Real Madrid, only 4 days after the disaster. At exactly 3.06pm (the time the game at Hillsborough was stopped) the game was stopped for a minute of silence after which the fans gave their rendition.

One for this week? Since it is his birthday, let’s have an Alex Ferguson question. Here’s a cracker for you. In all his years as manager of Manchester United there was only one British club the team played that they failed to beat. Who were they?

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

As usual, let’s finish with a mention of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 
…..oooOooo…..
 

And finally, Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. R. Fulton who provides us with this week’s finishing link. It is his ‘tribute’ to one of this week’s birthday celebrants, Bonnie Prince Charlie.  Enjoy.

 

 


 

 

Happy grambling.

 

Friday 23 December 2016

Week 20 - The Grambler proves Santa Claus is real


Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland recently.


Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see. Read on and enjoy

 

It is the 24th of December and you know what that means, don’t you? Santa comes tonight. Ooh, I’m so excited. What? What do you mean he doesn’t exi... of course he exists. I have proof. [Aye. 40% proof, I reckon. - Ed.] I do have proof. Let me explain...

When I were a lad [Uh oh. Hovis time. - Ed.] of about seven, Santa brought us a reel-to-reel tape recorder. That shows you how old I must be. We are talking pre-compact cassette, here. Any road up, those of you who read last week’s edition of this very blog will recall that on Christmas mornings my brother and I lugged our pillowcases full of presents into my parents’ room and climbed into bed with them to open our gifts. Well, on this particular Christmas morning, there was a large wooden box-type thing sitting on my dad’s bedside table. This was the new tape recorder. Dad pressed a button and the voice of a seemingly old man began to speak... ‘Hello, this is Santa Claus speaking. I hope you both like the presents I have brought for you....’ It went on, but I forget what he was saying. My sheer wonderment at hearing the voice of Father Christmas meant that I didn’t really concentrate on what was being spoken. Imagine! Santa Claus was talking to me. Wow. I only heard it the once as my dad clumsily recorded over Santa Claus. [Oh, what a shame. - Ed.] But I didn’t care. I had heard him with my own ears. And the funny thing was, he had a Derbyshire accent.

Not proof enough? Well how about this? Fast forward about 25 years to the year I bought a video camera. I told my young sons that I was going to film Santa Claus. I set up my video camera on a tripod, to catch Santa in the act. Do you know what? Santa is invisible. [I thought he might be. - Ed.] He is and all. When we played the film back the next morning, my sons watched in amazement as present after present appeared beneath the Christmas tree as if by magic. Nobody seemed to be putting them there, they just... appeared. Not only that, a plate with a mince pie (for Santa) and a carrot (for Rudolph) which fortuitously happened to be within the camera’s range just as suddenly became empty. Now the less charitable amongst you might suggest that somebody had been using stop-motion filming to show the presents after they had been put under the tree without showing the actual placement of those presents. Oh ye of little faith.

All right then, years later, my son attempted the same experiment for his kids (my grandkids) and do you know what happened? Exactly the same thing. Presents just seemed to appear out of thin air with nobody putting them there. Hah! Explain that, non-believers!

 

.....oooOooo.....

Joey Barton is in trouble again. Apparently, it has come to light that he placed 1260 bets over a ten year period relating to the outcome of matches. 1260? That’s a bit specific, isn’t it? How does anyone know the exact number of bets he placed. That is probably just the number the authorities know about. No matter. The point is, footballers should not be placing bets at all. It is illegal. He made 44 of those bets while he was a ‘player’ at Ibrox. I wonder if he bet that he would be a useless pillock every time he got a game for Rangers. He’d have made a fortune.

Anyway, Barton was set to join his old club Burnley in January, but those in charge of the club are having second thoughts. It makes sense, I suppose. He has been involved in dodgy dealings; he can’t just waltz into a new job.

I see Sam Allardyce has been appointed manager of Crystal Palace.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Were any famous or notorious people born on the 24th of December? Of course. Here are some I’ve even heard of. Christopher ‘Kit’ Carson 1809 (Famous frontiersman whose exploits made him a legend in his own lifetime. In fact, exaggerated tales of his daring feats were often sold as dime novels, which I’m guessing were the American equivilent of penny dreadfuls.), Michael Curtiz 1886 (Born Mihaly Kertesz in Hungary and began directing films in Europe in 1912 and moved to the US to direct in 1926 although he couldn’t speak a word of English.), Harry Warren 1893 (Who, I hear you ask. The first composer to write music primarily for films. You may have heard of some of his toons... Lullaby of Broadway, You’ll Never Know, You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby, Jeepers Creepers, Chattanooga Choo Choo... Loads of them. I think a link is in order. This is a version of one of his songs that reached number one 41 years after it was written. All together now... My love must be a kind of blind love...), Howard Hughes 1905 (Film producer, aircraft manufacturer and airline owner.), Ava Gardner 1922 (Quote: ‘Deep down, I’m pretty superficial.’), George Patton 1923 (The bloke they made a film about.), Lee Dorsey 1924 (He was a successful boxer, ran an auto repair business, but you’re not interested in that, you want a clip, don’t you? All together now... Working in the coal mine...), Norman Rossington 1924 (Achtor from Liverpule. Has the honour of being the only person to have worked on a Beatles film and an Elvis Presley film. [How interesting. Yawn. - Ed.], Colin Cowdrey 1932 (Crickety bloke.), Stan Bowles 1948 (Footie bloke.), Carol Vorderman 1960 (Human calculator.), Caroline Aherne 1963 (What did I say, Roy?), Ed Milliband 1969 (Glenn and Steve’s brother.), Enrique Martin Morales 1971 (That’s Ricky Martin to you and me. Puerto Rican singer and actor. Time for another clip? Go on then. All together now...  She's into superstition...), Paul Foot 1973 (The comedian, not the journalist son of Michael.) and Louis Tomlinson 1991 (A quarter direction. Used to be a fifth direction. Want another clip? No chance. Ricky Martin is already scraping the barrel a bit.)

 
 
Norman Rossington was in this, you know.
He played a character called Arthur Babcock.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

 

Let’s move on to grambling matters. How did we do last week? We won. No, we really did win. The Grambler got it spot on. Woo hoo! £12.84 we won. Brilliant. Pity it only happens about once every 15 months. Anyway, let’s see how the games went. Read on...

 

Doncaster vs Grimsby - Prediction Home win

Result - Doncaster 1 Grimsby 0

Yay!

Liam Mandeville curled a superb dead ball from close to 30 yards, putting it out of reach of Grimsby goalkeeper James McKeown with only three minutes on the clock.

That’s all we need to know.

 

Cambridge Utd vs Crewe - Prediction Home win

Result - Cambridge Utd 2 Crewe 1

Yay!

Uche Ikpeazu gave the U's the lead six minutes into the second half, running onto Conor Newton's pass and firing a rising effort past Ben Garratt.

Full-back Greg Taylor doubled the lead on the hour, robbing Chris Dagnall and unleashing a stunning effort which flew home via the underside of the crossbar.

Despite being comprehensively outplayed, Crewe found a way back into the match eight minutes later through James Jones, who fired a fine low effort across Will Norris from just outside the box.

 

Carlisle vs Yeovil - Prediction Home win

Result - Carlisle 2 Yeovil 1

Yay!

Shaun Brisley's first of the season and a Charlie Wyke header gave Carlisle a comfortable half-time advantage before Nathan Smith's goal set up an exciting finish in which both sides had chances.

That’s all we need to know.

 

Colchester vs Notts County - Prediction Home win

Result - Colchester 2 Notts County 1

Yay!

County took a 17th-minute lead when Elliott Hewitt headed in from close range after Richard Duffy had nodded on Carl Dickinson's corner at the near post.

But Colchester equalised in the 24th minute when Kurtis Guthrie sent a fine diving header past Collin from close range, following Johnstone's excellent cross into the six-yard box.

Colchester keeper Sam Walker denied Dickinson at his near post but Duffy put through his own net with 13 minutes to go after Eastman had headed Owen Garvan's free-kick into the six-yard box.

 

Wycombe vs Leyton Orient - Prediction Home win

Result - Wycombe 1 Orient 0

Yay!

Scott Kashket [Didn’t Nissan name a car after him? - Ed.] opened the scoring just after the break. The ball fell to the winger who guided his left-footed shot beyond the reach of goalkeeper Alex Cisak.

That’s all we need to know.

 

Right, let’s move on to this week’s random predictions from The Grambler. Can he/she/it make it two winning weeks on the trot? [Don’t talk wet. - Ed.] Unfortunately, you lot in England like to take a holiday on Christmas Eve so we only have a handful of Scottish games actually taking place on Saturday, the 24th of December and none of them at the hour of 3pm. The rules state that it is Saturday 3 o’clock that The Grambler should select from... so, erm... Houston, we have a problem. Excuse me for a moment. Just talk amongst yourselves.

Okay, I have spoken to the management and they have allowed a bit of leeway. Phew. So, for the next couple of weeks, the rules will be ignored. However, to create a bit of order, all selections will be made from the time of the weekend when most matches are taking place. Sorry, folks, it’s got to be Monday the 26th of December at 3pm.

Game - Result - Odds

Bristol Rovers vs Coventry - Prediction Home win - 3/4

Millwall vs Swindon - Prediction Home win - 3/4

MK Dons vs Charlton - Prediction Home win - 19/20

Oxford Utd vs Northampton - Prediction Home win - 10/11

Peterborough vs Gillingham - Prediction Home win - 3/4

 

Hmm... after being stuck in English League Two last week, The Grambler seems to have got stuck in English League One. I wonder why. Anyway, the bets have been placed (10 x 20 pee doubles plus 1 x 20 pee accumulator) and if they all go according to The Grambler’s Prediction, the Bobby Moore Fund stands to receive a whopping...

£10.62

Not as whopping as last week. but still fairly whopping..

 

.....oooOooo.....
 

Teaser time. Yay! Last week I asked you which English Premiershit side had actually made a profit in the transfer market in the five years up to the end of 2001. The answer was West Ham United. The second part of the question asked whose sale had made this profit possible. The answer was none other than Santa Claus impressionist Rio Ferdinand who moved to Leeds United in 2000 for £18 million, at the time, a world record fee for a defender.

Okay, one for this week. Why did AC Milan supporters sing You’ll Never Walk Alone before their 1989 European Cup semi-final against Real Madrid? One to ask over Christmas dinner.

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

As usual, let’s finish with a mention of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And finally, Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. P Foot, one of our birthday celebrants for a finishing link to this week’s edition. It has been said that he was a big influence on Russell Brand, the famous comedian (it says here). It has been said by less charitable types that Russell Brand stole his act. Whatever the case, here is Paul Foot with his thoughts on moist cake and other important matters.

 

 

Happy grambling.

 

Saturday 17 December 2016

Week 19 - The Grambler salutes Rio Ferdinand


Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland recently.


Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see. Read on and enjoy

 

It’s getting to look a lot like Christmas. Isn’t it odd how everyone feels happy because it is getting near Christmas? Everyone enjoys certain rituals at this time of year. I am not talking about the giving of presents, or going to visit Santa in his grotto, or going to a candlelit watchnight service at the church. I am talking about those little rituals that only you and your family do. We all have them and I will tell you about some of ours. Be warned, this is not going to be all upbeat stuff; there are some things which we used to do every year which we just couldn’t do any more.

When I was a nipper [Uh oh. Hovis time. - Ed.] my brother and I would wake on Christmas morning to find a pillowcase at the end of each of our beds. And before you say that’s a crap Christmas present, I should point out that it was filled with goodies that Santa had brought. Did we dive in and rip open all the parcels therein? No. We lugged the pillowcases through to our mum and dad’s room and climbed into bed to open the presents with them.

The gifts always had a familiarity, as well. We always got one big present that we had asked Santa for. That could be something like a train set or a Scalextric. The rest of the gifts were regulars. There was always the ‘annual’; a hardbacked book of our favourite weekly comic. In my case, that tended to be the Beano. A selection box always seemed to be there. Unlike modern selection boxes, it was never just a selection of sweets you would buy in the shops anyway. Oh no, there were items that only seemed to be reserved for Christmas selection boxes. Chocolate bars had fillings that were unusual and I recall a particular bar called a Skippy. It was an item you only seemed to see in selection boxes. It was a chocolate covered toffee and wafer bar. I think it had been designed by dentists because the toffee was so hard you ran the risk of breaking a few teeth. We always had the obligatory orange and chocolate coins, but there was one tradition that was ours and ours alone. A chocolate bottle. Sorry pardon excuse me? A chocolate bottle. It was just the same as those hollow chocolate Santas or reindeer you get at Christmas time except it was in the shape of a bottle. It was a standing joke with us that there would always be a chocolate bottle from Santa. Why that started, I have no idea.

Moving on to the rituals we had with our own family. When Stewart and brother Colin were small we always decorated the Christmas tree to the strains of a personalised tape of Christmas songs. This was pre Merry Christmas Everyone, but Shaky’s version of Blue Christmas was there as indeed was *n*th*r R*ck *nd R*ll Chr*stm*s by G*ry Gl*tt*r.

If I may digress a little, Mr Gl*tt*r seems to have been erased from the history books. It reminds me of what used to happen in Stalin’s USSR where a photograph of the politburo was altered each time a member suffered the wrath of Uncle Joe and his image was airbrushed out of the picture. I remember back in the nineteen eighties G*ry G used to put on a show in Glasgow every new year. It was always sold out, but who, nowadays, would admit to have been an audience member? It is just as well Joe Stalin and the US’s witchfinder general Joe McCarthy aren’t around these days...

‘Where did you go on the evening of the 31st of December?’

‘I went to see... erm...’

‘A Mr Gl*tt*r?’

‘Yes.’

‘What did you say to him?’

‘I didn’t speak to him. I went to see him... erm... perform.’

‘Perform? So you were a voyeur?’

‘No, I was in the audience...’

‘... Watching him perform. This gets worse. A whole audience? If you value your freedom, we need information.’

‘What information?’

‘The names and addresses of everyone else in that audience.’

Hey this is getting a bit sinister. It’s meant to be Christmas. Let’s get back to our family rituals at Christmas.

Something I just had to do was read Clement Clarke Moore’s 1822 poem A Visit from Saint Nicholas, more commonly known as The Night Before Christmas. I used to read it when I was a kid, I would read it to my kids and now I read it to my grand kids. It still gives me a warm glow.

Certain programmes and films have to be watched as well. The Snowman was always shown on Channel 4 at some point over the Christmas period. We, and several million others, made a point of watching it. Nowadays, we watch The Flint Street Nativity at some point leading up to Christmas. I must have watched it at least twenty times, but it always brings a smile.

An odd ritual I have is that I watch Scrooge (the Alastair Sim version) while I am preparing the vegetables for the Christmas meal. I don’t know why that one started.

Talking of food, we have an odd Christmas day breakfast. It is something we started a few years back and has now been adopted by several friends. Croissants with bacon and cheese... mmm... oh sorry, I’m dribbling. It is usually accompanied by a mug of tea and a glass of bucks fizz.

Back to Christmas Eve... I enjoy watching the Carols from King’s College programme on Beeb Beeb Ceeb 2. It is the same format every year. Indeed, they could repeat the same programme every year and I wouldn’t notice. It is just another of those warm Christmassy glow moments.

You will have gathered by now that Christmas is a time of year that I, and my family, really enjoy. The person who seemed to get the most enjoyment out of the festive season was, undoubtedly, Stewart. He started his own traditions. He wore the daft Christmas jumper long before it became the norm. He wore the silly hats before anyone else. He liked cheesy Christmas songs by agitated Welsh entertainers. One tradition he loved was to head to the Glasgow Film Theatre sometime in December for its annual screening of his favourite film, It’s a Wonderful Life. Mrs G and I often went with him and Geraldine. To him, Christmas wasn’t Christmas without this yearly pilgrimage. Why do I tell you this? Because it was during our last visit four years ago that Stewart was so unwell that he had to be rushed to hospital. That Christmas was awful for the whole family, especially Stewart who spent what was to be his final Christmas in a hospital bed suffering the most excruciating pain.

Since that time, It’s a Wonderful Life, once one of our favourite films, has become the most hated. None of us ever want to see it again because of the awful memories it stirs up.

By the way, we know it was Stewart’s favourite film because when he did a bit of clothing design (seriously, see http://www.redbubble.com/people/supergezza) this was his best-selling item.

 
 


One for film buffs there.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

I have just seen Alan Stubbs on BT Sport giving his views after a match and I cannot help but notice a certain similarity between him and a popular comedy ectaw, dear leddie, from the nineteen seventies. What do you reckon?
 
 


Alan Stubbs is the first one. Hang on...

 

.....oooOooo.....
 

You know my gripe about footballers being paid massive amounts of dosh to kick a ball for a game or two each week? Well, it would be nice if some of these overpaid prima donnas took a leaf out of Rio Ferdinand’s book. Old Rio has pledged to give half a million quid’s worth of toys to the Cash for Kids charity appeal this Christmas. He said: 'As a father myself I couldn't see children going without opening a present this Christmas day. We're not looking for a thank you, we're just trying to help people out.'

Wonderful. Come on Messrs Pogba, Ozil, Sanchez et al, dip into your pockets and do the same. Half a million? That’s small change to you guys. Tell you what, all you wealthy footballers out there, forego a few of those tattoos you had planned, cancel the order for the second Bentley Bentayga and you won’t even miss it.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Were any famous or notorious people born on the 17th of December? Of course. Here are some I’ve even heard of. Humphry Davy 1778 (Inventor of the miner’s lump.), Ford Madox Ford 1873 (Forerunner of the Model T), Stephen Lewis 1926 (I ’ate you, Butler.), Bob Guccione 1930 (Mucky mag man.), Dave Madden 1931 (David Cassidy’s manager.), John Bond 1932 (Footy bloke.), Ray Wilson 1934 (Footy bloke. Apparently won some trophy or other in 1966.), Jorge Mario Bergoglio 1936 (El papa.), Tommy Steele 1936 (Wance apon a toim there wos a li’ul wot booh.), Kerry Packer 1937 (Man who packs kerries?), Bernard Hill 1944 (Gizza job.), Simon Bates 1946 (Posh dj.), Paul Rogers 1949 (Singer whose career went in reverse. In other words, his best stuff was in the beginning. Time for a clip. All together now... There she stood in the street...), Mike Mills 1958 (Another clip... Hang on, let’s get this right. I’ll just have a word with Ken.  What's the frequency, Kenneth?), Paula Radcliffe 1973 (Runner who forgot her Shewee.) and Milla Jovovich 1975 (Plastic Has Memory.).

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

 

Let’s move on to grambling matters. How did we do last week? We won £1.41, by which I mean we lost 79 pees. A bit rubbish, that. Let’s see how the games went. Read on...

 

Aston Villa vs Wigan - Prediction Home win

Result - Aston Villa 1 Wigan 0

Yay!

Jack Grealish (Definition: grealish - a bit like greal.) struck a late winner, firing home a right-foot shot from outside the box into the top right corner in the 88th minute.

 

Bradford vs Charlton - Prediction Home win

Result - Bradford 0 Charlton 0

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Charlton gave the Bradford defence a torrid time in the first half, hitting the post, seeing a shot cleared off the line and having a penalty appeal turned down.

The penalty appeal came in the ninth minute as Bradford defender Nathaniel Knight-Percival wrestled for the ball with the visitors' dangerous Northern Ireland international striker Josh Magennis.

Three minutes later Magennis saw his angled shot hit the far post and rebound to safety after running on to a pass from strike partner Nicky Ajose, while he also had a shot cleared off the line by Bradford right-back Stephen Darby after taking a pass from Lee Novak.

Bradford's best first-half chance was in the 37th minute when ex-Motherwell man Nicky Law supplied a through pass for Jordy Hiwula, but goalkeeper Dillon Phillips came quickly off his line to block the shot.

The home side had the better of the second half with Hiwula again having their best chance. Mark Marshall played him through on goal in the 59th minute, but he was again denied by Phillips.

 

Fleetwood vs Walsall - Prediction Home win

Result - Fleetwood 2 Walsall 1

Yay!

It took a fine solo effort from Ash Hunter to beat Walsall keeper Neil Etheridge and open the scoring in the 42nd minute.

Hunter was also involved in Fleetwood's second goal as his curling effort was tipped away by Etheridge but only into the path of Bobby Grant, who rifled the ball home in the 66th minute.

Out of nowhere Walsall pulled a goal back in the 77th minute as George Dobson's 25-yard effort swerved past a crowd of bodies into the middle of the goal.

 

Oxford Utd vs Oldham - Prediction Home win

Result - Oxford 1 Oldham 1

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Rob Hall rifled a 20-yard drive into the top left corner of the goal after 54 minutes to cancel out Cameron Burgess' early opener.

Latics were reduced to 10 men four minutes after Hall's strike when Ousmane Fane fouled ex-Motherwell player Marvin Johnson and was sent off for his second yellow card.

 

Newport County vs Morecambe - Prediction Home win

Result - Match abandoned

Booooooo!!!

Newport were leading 1-0 at the break after a strike from Tom Owen-Evans which would have been the teenager's first goal for the club.

But as water started to gather on the Rodney Parade pitch, referee Brendan Malone called the game off.

Ho hum. [Ho ho hum, surely, at this time of year. - Ed.] Don’t call me Shirley. It wasn’t The Grambler’s worst week of predictions, but that abandoned game really fmucked things up. Any road up, let’s see what he/she/it has come up with for this week’s predictions.

Game - Result - Odds

Doncaster vs Grimsby - Prediction Home win - 4/5

Cambridge Utd vs Crewe - Prediction Home win - 10/11

Carlisle vs Yeovil - Prediction Home win - 19/20

Colchester vs Notts County - Prediction Home win - Evens

Wycombe vs Leyton Orient - Prediction Home win - Evens

 

Hmm... The Grambler seems to have got stuck in English League Two. I wonder why. Anyway, the bets have been placed (10 x 20 pee doubles plus 1 x 20 pee accumulator) and if they all go according to The Grambler’s Prediction, the Bobby Moore Fund stands to receive a whopping...

£12.82

That, I think you will agree, is quite whopping..

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time. Yay! Last week I asked you what Bayern and Bayer refer to in the club names Bayern Munich and Bayer Leverkusen. Bayern refers to the area in which Munich is situated; it is simply another term for Bavarian. Bayer? Isn’t that a pharmaceutical company’s name? Indeed it is. Bayer Leverkusen was founded in 1904 by employees of that very company.

One for this week? We head to the Premiershit for this week’s teaser. Cast your collective mind back to the early noughties. All but one Premiershit club made a financial loss on transfers in the five years up to the end of 2001; based on that information, we have a two-part teaser for this week. Which club proved to be the exception? And who was the highly-rated defender whose transfer to Leeds United was the reason for them being in profit? A good un there, methinks.

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

As usual, let’s finish with a mention of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign



…..oooOooo…..

 

And finally, Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. B. Hill, one of our birthday celebrants for a finishing link to this week’s edition. Bernard Hill has played many roles over the years from Captain Edward Smith in Titanic to King Theoden in the Lord of the Rings films, he has also done sterling work as a voiceover artist, but he will always be remembered for one role and one role alone - Yosser Hughes in Alan Bleasdale’s Boys from the Blackstuff. The Yosser character was famous for his ‘catchphrase’ ‘Gizza job. I can do that.’ He was also quite a menacing character at times. His penchant for ending arguments by headbutting his adversary, or any nearby hard object, made him frighteningly loopy, to say the least. My favourite moment? I loved the time that he was so down on his luck, he visited the local priest...

Yosser Hughes: ‘I'm desperate, Father.’

Priest: ‘Call me Dan.’

Yosser: ‘I'm desperate, Dan.’

The wall of the confession box was headbutted for that one.

Here’s another moment to finish...

 

 

Happy grambling.

 

Friday 9 December 2016

Week 18 - The Grambler on Stewart's favourite Christmas song


Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland recently.


Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see. Read on and enjoy

 

Let’s begin with a teaser. What was (our glorious founder) Stewart’s favourite Christmas song? I have told you in a previous edition of this august publication. Anyone? You at the back? No, it wasn’t *n*th*r R*ck and R*ll Chr*stm*s by G*ry Gl*tt*r. Anyone else? Correct. Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakin’ Stevens. Why am I reminding you of this? Pull up a chair and I’ll tell ee...

Last week a charity concert took place. Not very interesting in itself, but the people responsible for this concert were going to donate a proportion of the money raised to The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside Fund (Take a peek at https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Geraldine-Smith3 to see how the fundraising is going. Every penny has gone straight to the Bobby Moore Fund.). I was invited along to speak on behalf of the fund at the end.

It was a concert given by the ‘Sounds International Community Choir’. That suggests a collective of people from all over the world, doesn’t it? No. The only international link was that some of the members were English; the majority was Scottish. Any road up, high falluting name aside, they produced an acceptable sound and the evening’s performance of Christmas songs and old standards was quite enjoyable.

A very nice interlude was provided by the choir from a local primary school who gave us some more modern fayre including Jessie J’s Price Tag and Adele’s Rolling in the Deep.

Another interlude was utterly at odds with the rest of the evening’s entertainment. Just before the interval, a tall man wearing full highland dress was introduced. He was a ‘special guest’ the programme assured us. He swaggered his way onto the ‘stage’ and not only was his attire a bit over the top, so was his hair. It was the most gravity-defying quiff I think I have ever seen on any man who wasn’t doing an Elvis piss-take. His colour was weird too. He was orange. Not tanned. Actually orange. It really showed off his far too white and perfect teeth. He began to belt out his song. It was called ‘My Scottish Home’ and was supposed to be one of those ‘Flower of Scotland’ or ‘Caledonia’ type of songs that made you proud to be Scottish. Unfortunately, this song was so utterly cheesy, it just made you want to throw up. It was riddled with awful lines like ‘You can take the man from Scotland, but you can’t take Scotland from the man’ or ‘Lang may yer lum reek’ (Trans: Long may your chimney produce smoke. [That sounds like a euphemism to me. - Ed.]) If anyone out there in Gramblerland can remember the dreadful entertainer Glen Daly, you will appreciate just how awful this performance was (Click here for an example.). Jack Alexander, Andy Stewart and Kenneth McKellar must have been spinning in their graves. (Then again, perhaps it was right up their graveyard and they were shoogling their kilts. They can’t touch you for it.) Compared to this performance, Donald Where’s Yer Troosers was a high art.

Luckily, he didn’t reappear in the second half. Not to sing, anyway. He did however, sit directly in front of me. If this concert had been anything other than a charity event, I would have asked for some money back because I was in a seat with a restricted view. Blimey, that quiff was high.

Anyway, as the show progressed, I jotted down a few notes of what I wanted to say at the end. I planned to explain about The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside Fund and the reason for that name. I would tell the audience about Stewart and his reasons for donating to the Bobby Moore Fund and why we continued to do so in his memory. I would tell them some of the fundraising events that we had organised. Finally, I would thank them for their generosity.

I had it all thought out. That was what I intended to say. Then the choir sang the last song of the evening. What was it? If you haven’t already guessed, it was Merry Christmas Everyone. If I had a superstitious nature, I might have said that Stewart planned it. I haven’t got a superstitious nature, though [Neither have I. It’s bad luck to be superstitious. - Ed.]. But I did think it was really weird that of all the dozens of Christmas songs there are, they should choose to sing the very song that Stewart liked so much.

That totally threw me. I headed to the microphone with a tear in my eye and blurted out something about that being Stewart’s favourite Christmas song, I quickly thanked them all for their generosity and headed back to my seat as soon as I could, lest the tears came.

Of course, it might have been a wig.

There is only one way to end this week’s (g)ramble. It has to be a link to Stewart’s favourite Crimbo song. Here is Shaky in a rather suspect video for Merry Christmas Everyone.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

My favourite footie story this week? On Tuesday evening a Celtic supporter in Manchester to watch his team play Man City was arrested. His crime? He threw a half-eaten hamburger at a police horse. Poor horse. It might have been severely traumatised. After all, that hamburger could have been related to it. [I would just like to apologise for the lack of topicality of that gag. - Ed.]

 


 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Were any famous or notorious people born on the 10th of December? Of course. Here are some I’ve even heard of. Victor Mclaglen 1886 (Boxer and first World War veteran who became an ectaw. Although he once fought an exhibition bout with world heavyweight champion Jack Johnson, a lot of his boxing took place in a circus where members of the public were offered $25 if they could go three rounds with him. Hey, you might end up brain-damaged, but you’d have $25.), Dorothy Lamour 1914 (Ectress. Known as the ‘Sarong Queen’.), Dan Blocker 1928 (Hoss Cartwright.), Ken Campbell 1941 (Ectaw and director. Famously, a loose cannon in the theatrical world. Once staged Neil Oram’s play The Warp. It lasted 22 hours.), Kyu Sakamoto 1941 (Singer famous for probably the only Japanese song most westerners know. Time for our first clip of the week. Ladeez and genullum I give you Sukiyaki.), Peter Sarstedt 1941 (One of three brothers to have solo hits. Older brother Richard aka Eden Kane had a 1961 number one with Well, I Ask You. Younger brother Robin had a 1976 hit with My Resistance is Low. Peter’s biggest hit was this from 1969 .), Anne Gloag 1942 (Clippie.), Clive Anderson 1952 (Don’t talk about that Bee Gees incident. What this?), Susan Dey 1952 (David Cassidy’s sister.), Paul Hardcastle 1957 (Time for a-nu-nu-nu-nu-nother clip.), Kenneth Branagh 1960 (Luvvie.), Brian Molko 1972 (Malcolm of the Flaming Creatures. What? You want another clip? All right then. All together now... A friend in need's a friend indeed...), Meg White 1974 (A stripe; a white one.) and Charlie Adam 1985 (Footie bloke.).

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

 

Let’s move on to grambling matters. How did we do last week? We won. I mean proper won. We actually got more than our stake money back. Yay! £4.12! Woo hoo! We actually won £1.92. Hmm. It’s not that brilliant, is it? Let’s see how the games went. Read on...

 

 

Birmingham vs Barnsley - Prediction Home win

Result - Birmingham 0 Barnsley 3

Boo!

The Tykes led on 38 minutes when Barnsley defender Marc Roberts headed in from close range.

But Blues buckled after home midfielder David Davis was red-carded for his second booking on 71 minutes. Pillock!

Davis's former Wolves youth team-mate Sam Winnall then cashed in, scoring twice in the final six minutes.

 

Burton Albion vs Rotherham - Prediction Home win

Result - Burton 2 Rotherham 1

Yay!

The Brewers hit the front when Chris O'Grady's blocked shot fell to Jackson Irvine, who struck from 10 yards for his seventh goal of the season.

Matty Palmer doubled the lead when he collected a weak clearance and fired a 20-yard shot into the top corner.

Tom Adeyemi converted Joe Mattock's cross for a late Millers consolation.

 

Fulham vs Reading - Prediction Home win

Result - Fulham 5 Reading 0

Yay!

Chris Gunter headed into his own net early on before Chris Martin's shot from outside the box made it 2-0.

Reading's Danny Williams was sent off soon after for kicking out at Stefan Johansen.

Sone Aluko fired in Fulham's third from inside the area, Johansen's sublime finish made it 4-0 and Martin scored a free-kick to complete the rout.

 

Norwich vs Brentford - Prediction Home win

Result - Norwich 5 Brentford 0

Yay!

The Canaries started well and Jacob Murphy soon scrambled them in front.

After Murphy was fouled in the box by Harlee Dean, Graham Dorrans tapped in the second on the rebound after his penalty was saved by Daniel Bentley.

Robbie Brady slotted in from Alex Pritchard's pass, Nelson Oliveira smashed home and Pritchard stabbed in to seal victory.

 

Sheffield Wednesday vs Preston NE - Prediction Home win

Result - Sheffield Wednesday 2 Preston North End 1

Yay!

Fernando Forestieri's header put the Owls ahead early on, but the striker was sent off for a second-half off-the-ball incident with Ben Pearson.

Steven Fletcher's penalty doubled the lead before Doyle pulled one back.

Preston team-mates Eoin Doyle and Jermaine Beckford came to blows after Doyle failed to play Beckford in as North End looked for an equaliser.

 

 

Not a bad week for The Grambler. Can he/she/it do even better this week? [Don’t talk wet. - Ed.]

Game - Result - Odds

Aston Villa vs Wigan - Prediction Home win - 8/13

Bradford vs Charlton - Prediction Home win - 19/20

Fleetwood vs Walsall - Prediction Home win - 19/20

Oxford Utd vs Oldham - Prediction Home win - 10/11

Newport County vs Morecambe - Prediction Home win - 17/20

The bets have been placed (10 x 20 pee doubles plus 1 x 20 pee accumulator) and if they all go according to The Grambler’s Prediction, the Bobby Moore Fund stands to receive a whopping...

£11.67

Almost as whopping as last week.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time. Yay! Last week I asked you what record is held by Kevin Nolan. I meant in footballing terms. I wasn’t suggesting that he was actually holding a disc. Yes, he holds the record of having played more Premiershit games than any other ‘uncapped’ player. He played a total of 399 times in the top division but was never called upon to represent his country.

One for this week? Let’s head to Germany. Two teams have similar names - Bayern Munich and Bayer Leverkusen. Only one letter different in the first word of each, but what do Bayern and Bayer refer to? Have fun down the pub with that one.

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

As usual, let’s finish with a mention of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign


…..oooOooo…..

 

And finally, Cyril? And finally Esther, as I wrote this week’s edition, I heard of the demise of yet another famous person. Greg Lake stayed on this planet for just nine months longer than his former sidekick, Keith Emerson. I have to say, I was never a fan of seventies supergroup Emerson, Lake and Palmer. I admitted at the time that they were all great musicians, but their overblown pompous version of progressive rock just didn’t appeal to me. However, in 1975 the most beautiful Christmas song I had ever heard was played on the radio. It was gentle, haunting; not the usual yuletide fayre at all. And it contained a section from my favourite classical piece, Prokofiev’s Lieutenant Kije Suite. It was just brilliant. Stewart loved Merry Christmas Everyone, but this is my favourite Christmas song. The biggest shock to me at the time was that it was written and sung by Greg Lake. This was a completely different side to him. What a pity it was a one off. I never appreciated any other piece of music from him. But that one song? Pure class. So, to end, here is a link to a version of the song he performed a few years ago. It features Ian Anderson on flute. As the expression goes, what's not to like?

Incidentally, I have the feeling that Simon Cowell will not be behind this year’s Christmas number one.

 

Happy grambling.