Saturday, 18 June 2022

Post 451 - Finland grambling

 

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

 

Story time 1...

Often I mention to you that that I like to play the odd word game on my phone.  I do.  Don't you recall?  Well, I do.  Any road up, I'm guessing that whoever came up with the game isn't British, and possibly isn't even English first language.  Why have I come to such a conclusion?  Often, you are invited to play the computer at the word game (which it invariably wins) but, to make this sound less scary, the computer has a character name.  They are usually alliterative like Pirate Pete, or Sally the Cyclist... Incidentally, when I typed in the word cyclist there, the predictive text came up with the word cystitis.  Actually, that might well have been one of the character names, because I suspect they are running out of ideas, judging by the latest effort.  I also get the idea that whoever comes up with the names is getting a bit peed off.  Why, I hear you ask.

A smiley person holding what appears to be a chicken or turkey drumstick (leg) is shown.  Okay, what name could we expect from that?  Charlie eats chicken?  Tillie eats turkey?  Oh no.  This week's name is... are you ready for this?  Faire eats Fanny.  Splutter pardon what?  You read that correctly, Faire eats Fanny.  Now, there have been some howlers in the past but, come on, somebody is either having a laugh or is seriously pissed off with their job.

I wanted to take a picture of the offending gamer's name but, guess what, it's been changed... to Faire greeter Emma.

Oh, so her name was originally meant to be Fanny.  That answers that one, then.

Story time 2...

I have just attempted to use a car park that I have never used before.  I won't tell you the name of the group that run the setup, but let's just say that, in view of the fact that Brexit means we are no longer in the EU, I am surprised that they still have a presence in the UK.

It was a pay and display car park where you are supposed to purchase a ticket for the length of time you think you might be there and place that ticket in your car windscreen.

With me so far?  Good.  Here's where things get a little complicated.  The machine where you purchase said ticket was out of order.  Sort of.  It wouldn't accept money and it wouldn't spew out a ticket.  How then was I meant to pay and display?

There was another option; I could download an app to my smartphone.  I tried that.  Guess what... the app wouldn't download.

Now what could I do?  Ah, it was possible to phone a number.  I tried that.  It was one of awful automated things.  You know the kind of thing, you had to say your car registration number and also your bank card details.  Sure.  I'm standing in the middle of a car park and you want me to shout out my credit card details.  I don't think so.  I was beginning to not like this car park at all.  In the end, I felt the safest bet was simply to get out the car park and leave the car somewhere else.

That also had its downside; the car park had cctv cameras trained on the entrance and exit.  Your registration number was noted as you entered the car park and again as you left.  If you hadn't paid, you would be liable to get a hefty fine of £30.  I hadn't paid, but had been trying to for about 40 minutes.

If I receive a letter, I am ready with my angry email to the company behind this shambolic business.

Another instruction caught my eye.  Disabled (or differently abled, if you prefer) drivers were to pay to use the car park whether they had a blue badge or not.  How mean is that?  A bit rotten, don't you think?  Okay, that aside, there were bigger issues to deal with.  The pay machines, even if they had worked, would have been strictly out of bounds to somebody who had to use a mobility scooter or wheelchair.  Why?  Because they were all positioned on a raised plinth of paving.  There was no dropped kerb for wheelchair access.

Ahh, you say, the differently abled person could use their mobile phone (assuming that all the ways to pay functioned as they should).  But what if anyone using a mobility buggy had no phone with them?  Our car park planners hadn't thought of that one.

Whoever designs these places ought to spend some time in a wheelchair; then, perhaps, they would appreciate the problems their short-sightedness causes for disabled... sorry, differently abled... people.  [If they are short-sighted, does that not mean they themselves are dis... differently abled?  I'm just saying. - Ed.]

How about a car park joke to finish? 

What did Richard III say when Henry Tudor told him he was going to build a car park in the centre of Leicester?

'Over my dead body!'

I didn't say it was funny. Do you know any car park jokes? Exactly.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 18th of June? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

George Mallory (who got a mention last week) 1886 - Mountaineer. Died 800 vertical feet from the summit of Mount Everest. As I said last week, another didn’t-quite-make-it-er.

Carleton Hobbs 1898 - Ector dear leddie. Played Sherlock Holmes in over 80 radio adaptations from 1952 until 1969.

John Warburton 1903 - Jobbing actor. Leon Renault in Secrets of the French Police.

Ian Carmichael 1920 - Actor. Famous for playing upper-crust silly ass types. Bertie Wooster in The World of Wooster.

 

I say, you cheps!

Johnny Pearson 1925 - Musician and composer. He led the Top of the Pops orchestra for 16 years. He composed a few TV themes in his time. He was also part of Sounds Orchestral, a group of musicians who produced music that might be described easy-listening by some [You mean soporific. - Ed.] and between 1965 and 1977 they recorded 17 studio albums. However, only one track from that outfit made the charts; this one, Cast Your Fate to the Wind. That was actually rather pleasant. Johnny was the man tickling the ivories there.

Paul Eddington 1927 - Actor. Jim Hacker in Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister.

Norman St. John-Stevas 1929 - Politician.

John Quarmby 1929 - Jobbing actor. Mr Carnegie in the Fawlty Towers episode Basil the Rat.

Delia Smith 1941 - Dinner lady.

Paul McCartney 1942 - A Beatle or a bit of Wings. I do the man down. He is probably one of the greatest songwriters ever. He has written some crackers; Yesterday, Fool on the Hill... erm... We All Stand Together. He has been involved in 25 number one singles and 19 number one studio albums. Quite a career. My favourite McCartney song? A very simple little toon, Blackbird.

Pat Hutchins 1942 - Illustrator and author of children’s books.

Barry Evans 1943 - Actor. Jeremy Brown in the very politically incorrect Mind Your Language, a ‘comedy’ that poked fun at just about any racial stereotype imaginable. 42 episodes aired so someone must have liked it.

Kara Wilson 1944 - Actress. Helen Davies in Adam Smith. Mrs Tom Conti.

Gordon Murray 1946 - Car designer.

Luan Peters 1946 - Jobbing actress. Raylene Miles in the Fawlty Towers episode The Psychiatrist.

Philip Jackson 1948 - Actor. Japp in Poirot. 171 credits in IMDb.

Dominic Guard 1956 - Author, child psychotherapist and former actor. Starred in The Go-Between when aged 14.

Kevin Drinkell 1960 - Footy bloke.

Alison Moyet 1961 - Singer. Here’s a song that reached number 2 in the singles charts, That Ole Devil Called Love.

Stephen Marcus 1962 - Actor. Nick the Greek in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Richard De Vere 1967 - Magician.

Jason McAteer 1971 - Peileadóir.

Kevin Bishop 1980 - Actor and comedian. Nigel Norman Fletcher in Porridge. The 2016/17 one, not the decent one.

Moeen Ali 1987 - Crickety bloke.

Jeremy Irvine 1990 - Actor. Albert Narracott in War Horse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Paul McGrambley,

I have been a fan of yours since the days of The Beatles. I always loved the film Help and had the album. Here is a question you might be able to answer for me. What was the first single from that album to top the charts?

Your obedient servant,

T. K. Tooride.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did The Grambler’s predictions fare last time? Well, we did win. Sort of. 64 pees back from our £2.20 outlay. What happened? Read on...

 

England vs Italy - England to win

Result - England 0 Italy 0

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Luxembourg vs Turkey - Turkey to win

Result - Luxembourg 0 Turkey 2

Yay!

Netherlands vs Poland - Netherlands to win

Result - Netherlands 2 Poland 2

Ooh! ’It the bar! Again!

Romania vs Finland - Romania to win

Result - Romania 1 Finland 0

Yay!

Wales vs Belgium - Belgium to win

Result - Wales 1 Belgium 1

Ooh! ’It the bar! Yet again!

Come on Grambler, pull your SSDs up, give us some decent predictions! Unfortunately, there are no footy games on this week... Or are there? I was all set to give you a selection of gee gees this week, but Mr Bet365 isn’t playing ball and won’t let me place my bet. So, I took a look around the various world leagues and have managed to find something that we can bet on until the English and Scottish leagues reconvene for the 2022-23 season. How about the Finnish Veikkausliiga? Don’t fancy that? Tough, that’s what you are getting. All the games take place today (18th) but at different times. Let’s see what The Grambler has come up with...

Game - Time - Result - Odds

FC Haka vs IFK Mariehamn - 13.00 - Home win - 7/10

FC Ilves vs Lahti - 15.00 - Home win - 17/20

HJK Helsinki vs AC Oulu - 15.00 - Home win - 2/9

SJK vs FC Inter - 15.00 - Away win - 29/20

HIFK vs VPS Vaasa -21.00 - Away win - 21/20

 

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£10.92

Ooh, that is slightly whopping.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?
I was born in Tocopilla, Chile in 1988. I am a forward with Inter Milan but have had spells at Udinese, Barcelona, Arsenal and Manchester United. I have been capped for Chile 148 times and am the highest goalscorer for the Chilean national side having scored 48 times.

Answer - Alexis Sanchez

2. Which Polish player has scored the most international goals?

Answer - Robert Lewandowski

3. Which club is managed by Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink?

Answer - Burton Albion

4. Which club plays at Gresty Road?

Answer - Crewe Alexandra (The stadium is now officially known as the Mornflake Stadium for sponsorship reasons.)

5. A daft one to finish. Name the nine clubs in the English and Scottish senior leagues with parts of the body in their names. Arsenal doesn’t count, nor do either of the Bristols and definitely not the team which is about to be relegated to the National League.

Answer - Manchester City, Liverpool, Manchester United, Plymouth Argyle, Portsmouth, Colchester United, Heart of Midlothian, Peterhead and Kelty Hearts.

What about another five for this week? We’ll begin as always with...

1. Who am I?

I was born in 1992 in Bree, Belgium. I am 6’ 7” tall. I began my senior career with Gent. I then moved to Chelsea, but was immediately loaned out to Atletico Madrid for three seasons. I helped them to win the Europa League in 2012 and La Liga title in 2014. I returned to Chelsea and was part of the team that won the Premier League in 2015 and again in 2017. In 2018 I was sold to my present club, Real Madrid, for £35 million.

2. Which two players tie as Scotland’s top goalscorers with 30 goals each?

3. Which English club has the motto ‘Audere est facere’ (To dare is to do.)?

4. Which English club has the nickname ‘The Grecians’?

5. Another daft one to finish. Name the seven clubs in the English and Scottish senior leagues with a compass point as part of their name.

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount raised is a little out of date, though. Check the Justgiving page link given at the beginning of this blog to see the current figure.

 

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, for this week’s finishing item, I am indebted to a Miss L. Peters who appeared in an episode of Fawlty Towers some 45 years ago (Can it really be that old?) and gets old Basil in trouble as he fumbles for a light switch...

 

 

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.

 

Saturday, 11 June 2022

Post 450 - A jubilee gramble... sort of

 

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy

 

Story time...

I've not done an anniversary special for a while, so do you fancy a (g)ramble through the history books? No? Tough, that's what you're getting.

Well, I thought it would be apt since we have recently been celebrating Betty being on the throne for 70 years. Huzzah! Well done your majesty! Well done for staying alive for such a long time. I absolutely went to town by celebrating the big event with absolute and complete indifference. In fact, I did go to town, literally, rather than sit and watch all the piffle that was shown on TV. What was all that nonsense with her talking to an imaginary bear and keeping sandwiches in her handbag? Think she’s lost it.

Or has she? Was it any coincidence that Paddington Bear was voiced by Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Ukrainian language version of the Paddington films? I don’t think so. By sharing Paddington’s love of marmalade sandwiches, was Liz telling Mr Putin that the Brits were very much on the side of Ukraine? Hmm? Or is she just plain batty?  Discuss.

I'm not sure why June the 5th was chosen as the date for the big celebration as she became Queen on the 6th of February. Too cold for street parties then, perhaps.

She may be the longest reigning British monarch but she has to keep breathing for another couple of years if she wants to wrest the title as world's longest reigner (I think I have just made that word up.) from Louis XIV of France. He was king for over 72 years. Mind you, he was only four when he assumed the title.

Incidentally, if she hangs around for another few days, she will become the world's second longest reigning monarch when she overtakes Rama IX of Thailand.

Next we have a sad anniversary from 100 years ago. Ernest Shackleton snuffed it in 1922.

As so often happens with British heroes, we celebrated Shackleton not for being a winner, but for being a didn't-quite-make-it-er. He didn't quite make it to the South Pole in the same way that Robert Scott did(n't). The same way that George Mallory didn't quite climb Mount Everest.  Or The Who who never quite got a number one single.

What Shackleton did manage was to get every member of his South Pole expedition home safely.

Unfortunately, the expedition began in 1914 and ended in 1916 when the Great War was at its height. Having endured two years of fighting their way through, and surviving, Antarctica, many of the crew were immediately called up to fight and were sent to the trenches. Most didn't return.

On a cheerier note, 150 years ago, the first F.A. Cup Final took place. It was between Wanderers and Royal Engineers. Wanderers won with the only goal of the match.

Actually, they only got to the final by default. In the semi-final, they drew with Queen's Park who had to withdraw from the competition because they couldn't afford the train fare from Glasgow to London.

Changed days. Now, they could all travel in their chauffeur driven cars.. oh, hang on, they couldn't, Queen's Park are still an amateur club.

1872 also saw the first election of an MP by secret ballot. Wait a mo. Secret? I don't think so. Even now, every ballot paper has a number on it which tallies with the voter's name. What's secret about that?

Did you know that 2022 is the 500th anniversary of the first circumnavigation of the world? Well the first recorded one, anyway. [Did you care? - Ed.] It was led by Ferdinand Magellan who, a bit like Scott and Shackleton, didn't actually complete the circumnavigation having been killed by Mactan warriors when they didn't want to convert to Christianity. The expedition had made several stops at islands on the journey and had usually managed to persuade locals to convert by giving them a quick demonstration of the fleet's weaponry.

Five ships with 270 men on board left Spain in September 1519. Only 18 men on board one ship (captained by Juan Sebastian Elcano, who really should get the plaudits and not the Magellan bloke) returned to Spain after the three year voyage. Quite the success, then.

It is also 100 years since Howard Carter unearthed the tomb of Tutankhamen and started what became known as the curse of Tutankhamen. Ten suspicious deaths among those that were involved in the find? A curse, obviously. What else could it be. The first casualty occurred on the day of discovery; Carter's pet canary got eaten by a cobra. That’s not a curse; that’s someone feeding a canary to a snake.

It is 60 years ago that Ursula Andress walked out of the sea wearing a bikini. You remember it, don’t you? James Bond could hardly contain himself. So began the longest series of films based on a single character, although, like Doctor Who (or Doctor Oho as those of us of a certain age remember it) he keeps changing his appearance. Clever, that.

Another anniversary from 60 years ago ends our little wander down memory lane. Four Liverpudlian musicians decided that, being a decent enough combo, they could do better than being Tony Sheridan’s* backing band. Who would have thought that it would be the beginning of seven years of them being the dominant force in music throughout the western world? The first song that charted for them back in 1962, while being pleasant enough, certainly didn’t suggest that happening. What was that song? Something about a pigeon fancier... Love me do.

Let's end with a joke.  Paul McCartney walking along the road when he hears a faint cry... 

'Oi! Watch it mate!'  

Paul looks down and sees that the source of the cry was a small beetle.  'Wow!  A talking beetle!  That's amazing.  Do you know, I once named a band after you?'

'What?  Eric?'

Boom and indeed tish.

*See birthday honours.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Since The Grambler hasn’t posted anything for a few weeks, let’s just concentrate on the musical birthdays. All right with that? [No. - Ed.] As I stated earlier... tough.

Were any famous or not so well-known (musical) individuals born on the 21st of May? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Terry Lightfoot 1935 - Musician who formed his own ‘trad jazz’ band in 1955. Here is a hit from 1961, King Kong.

Tony Sheridan 1940 - Singer/songwriter. He worked with The Beatles before they were famous. Here’s My Bonnie.  I’ll bet they’re glad they got shot of him. Ye gods!

Martin Carthy 1941 - Folkie. Here he is ably assisted by the lovely Dave Swarbrick on The Two Magicians.

Hilton Valentine 1943 - Original guitarist with The Animals. Let’s have a bit of that ol’ house in New Orleans. Not bad; not a guitar lead in sight.

Vincent Crane 1943 - Keyboard player for The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. He also co-wrote this, their only hit, Fire.  I think Alice Cooper may have watched that and thought, hang on...

Leo Sayer 1948 - Singer. What hit toon shall we have? How about this one, Moonlighting.


Cheer up Leo


And now, 28th of May...

Lew Stone 1898 - Bandleader. Here is White Jazz.  That title would probably be considered racist nowadays.

Stephen Harrington aka Steve Strange 1959 - Musician. He was the leader of Visage who had one big hit, Fade to Grey.

Roland Gift 1961 - A fine young cannibal if ever there was one. Let’s have a clip. Here’s Johnny Come Home.

Gavin Harrison 1963 - Drummer with Porcupine Tree, a progressive rock band formed in 1987. 1987? Crikey, time flies.

Kylie Minogue 1968 - Actress and rather successful singer. Here’s a song I just can’t get out of my head.

Mark Richardson 1970 - Currently the drummer with Skunk Anansie, but has also been the stick wielder with Feeder and Little Angels. Here’s that band’s best-performing single, Womankind.

Jimi Goodwin 1970 - Main man in Doves. That’s the band, not the bird. Or the soap, for that matter. Any road up, here’s the band’s number 3 hit, There Goes The Fear.

General Levy 1971 - Ragga deejay. Remember M-Beat? No? Had a hit with Incredible. No? Well, here it is.

Let’s move on quickly to those born on the 4th of June...

Roger Ball 1944 - Musician. Founder-member of Average White Band. He penned the big one.  He got the idea when he went to his nearest Greggs to Pick Up The Pieces.  That joke is probably lost outside of Scotland.

Gordon Waller 1945 - Singer. Half of Peter & Gordon. [Which one was he? - Ed.] Ahem... Let’s have a clip. Here’s a 2005 live version of Nobody I Know.

John Perry 1952 - Musician. He was the guitarist with The Only Ones. Here is their biggest hit, Another Girl, Another Planet.  That has a real 1990s feel to it, but was actually recorded in 1978.

Jimmy McCulloch 1953 - Guitarist. Played in various bands in his all-too-short career (He died aged just 26.) including Stone the Crows, Thunderclap Newman and Wings. He was a friend of The Who and played on solo albums by John Entwistle and Roger Daltrey. Here he is playing alongside Peter Frampton on John Entwistle’s Apron Strings.  Fancy him wearing a pinny!

Mikey Dread 1954 - Singer, producer and broadcaster. Here he wants to break down the walls.

Chris Kavanagh 1964 - Drummer, notably with Sigue Sigue Sputnik and Big Audio Dynamite II. Here is Big Audio Dynamite with Rush.

Ralph Salmins 1964 - Another drummer. He is currently the bongo basher with The Waterboys. Here is the band’s latest single, Here We Go Again.

Tony McCarroll 1971 - Yet another drummer. He was the original stick man for Oasis. Another clip? Why, soitenly. Here is Shakermaker. aka I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.

Scott Hammond 1973 - Would you Adam and Eve it, another drummer. June the 4th is obviously the day for drummers. Hammond has worked with Ian Anderson since 2010 and that gives me an excuse to give you a Jethro Tull track. Yay! Here’s The Zealot Gene.

Julian Marley 1975 - Musician. Son of Bob. Here is Lion In The Morning.

And finally, the 11th of June...

Alexander Faris 1921 - Composer. Here’s a toon you might recognise. That was Sandy doing the conducting.

Lynsey de Paul 1948 - Singer/songwriter. Here’s her first hit which sounds a bit messy, Sugar Me. That kid in the multi-coloured shirt has got absolutely no rhythm.

Graham Russell 1950 - Musician. A bit of that band of balladeers, Air Supply. Here’s an early (1976) toon called Love and Other Bruises.

Costadinos Contostavlos 1987 - Who? Better known as Dappy, singer with N-Dubz. Famous for his unusual headwear, known as dappy hats. [What came first, the Dappy or the hat? - Ed.] Don’t know. Don’t care. Have a clip. Here’s I Need You.

Jorja Smith 1997 - Singer. Here is her Teenage Fantasy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Gramblie Minogue,

We have been fans of yours ever since we first saw you wield a spanner in Neighbours. Even before you got married to Jason Donovan. Talking of Jason, didn’t you two have a number one record together? What was it called?

Yours searchingly,

S. Pesha, Lee Fore-Yew.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Gramble time...

How did The Grambler’s predictions fare last time? Well, we didn’t win. Period. What happened? Read on...

Aston Villa vs Crystal Palace - Home win

Result - Aston Villa 1 Crystal Palace 1

Ooh! ’It the bar!

Leeds vs Brighton - Away win

Result - Leeds 1 Brighton 1

Ooh! ’It the bar! Again!

Watford vs Leicester - Away win

Result - Watford 1 Leicester 5

Yay!

West Ham vs Manchester City - Away win

Result - West Ham 2 Man City 2

Ooh! ’It the bar! Once again!

Wolves vs Norwich - Home win

Result - Wolves 1 Norwich 1

I don’t believe it!

Who’d have thunk it? Four out of five were draws. Rubbish or what!

Any road up, this being a weekend of international matches in the UEFA Nations League, shall we have a bet on some of those? Yes, Let’s. All matches take place on Saturday the 11th of June at 7.45pm. So, let’s have a look at The Grambler’s random predictions.

Game - Result - Odds

England vs Italy - England to win - 17/20

Luxembourg vs Turkey - Turkey to win - 9/20

Netherlands vs Poland - Netherlands to win - 4/11

Romania vs Finland - Romania to win - 6/5

Wales vs Belgium - Belgium to win - 4/5

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£8.74

Whopping? Don’t think so.

 

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in La Louviere, Belgium in 1991. I made my senior debut with Lille in 2007. In 2012 I moved to Chelsea. I played 245 times and was named as Chelsea’s player of the year on four occasions. I was signed by Real Madrid in 2019. I have been capped 116 times.

Answer - Eden Hazard

2. Which Belgian has scored the most international goals (It’s not the guy in question one.)

Answer - Romelu Lukaku

3. Who is currently the longest-serving manager in the Premier League?

Answer - Jurgen Klopp

4. Liverpool won the League and FA Cups this year; which other teams have achieved the cup ‘double’?

Answer - Manchester City, Arsenal and Chelsea

5. Which club plays at Brunton Park?

Answer - Carlisle United

Let’s have five for this week...

1. Who am I?
I was born in Tocopilla, Chile in 1988. I am a forward with Inter Milan but have had spells at Udinese, Barcelona, Arsenal and Manchester United. I have been capped for Chile 148 times and am the highest goalscorer for the Chilean national side having scored 48 times.

2. Which Polish player has scored the most international goals?

3. Which club is managed by Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink?

4. Which club plays at Gresty Road?

5. A daft one to finish. Name the nine clubs in the English and Scottish senior leagues with parts of the body in their names. Arsenal doesn’t count, nor do either of the Bristols and definitely not the team which is about to be relegated to the National League.

There you have it; five teasers to test you. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

 

.....oooOooo.....

 

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount raised is a little out of date, though. Check the Justgiving page link given at the beginning of this blog to see the current figure.

 

 

…..oooOooo…..

 

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. N. Evans who was born on the 11th June 1901. Who, I hear you ask. Norman Evans was the inspiration for Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough’s Cissie and Ada sketches. To finish this week, take a look at one of Evans' most famous creations, Fanny Fairbottom in 'Over the Garden Wall'.

 

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.