Sunday, 1 June 2025

Post 528 - Grambling in Napoli

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…

Story time

Mrs G and I have been off on our travels again. Yes, we are very lucky. Where have we been? None other than Napoli, home of the pizza and the footy team of the same name. [Oh lor'! Another 'what I did on my holiday' blog. - Ed.] And, yes, I will be all pretentious and call Naples Napoli.

Talking of footy, everywhere I looked, there were images of Diego Maradona who is revered as a god there. The only other image relating to football that I saw showed Scott McTominay with the legend McFratm, which I was reliably informed meant that he was accepted by the napoli supporters as 'brother'. Nice. Maybe he'll be the new Maradona.

Talking of footy... and this is ostensibly (That's a good word.
Wonder what it means.) a football blog... I was in a bar when the Napoli vs Cagliari game was being played. This game was significant because Napoli had to win the game to clinch the Serie A title.

Naturally, the bar was chock full of Napoli supporters who cheered every time one of their players so much as kicked a ball. They also booed every time a decision went Cagliari's way. I think you could say they were a little partisan.

When the final whistle was blown at the end of a two nil victory, the place erupted. Everyone in the place was jumping up and down, hugging random folk, singing, dancing and waving a flag that already had the message that Napoli were champions. There's confidence for you.

And guess what... McFratm scored. Yay!

Some days later we met somebody who had been at the game and he told us that nobody left the stadium until 3am; the celebrations went on for so long.

On Monday, there was an open bus procession along the seafront. One million people lined the route. Rather than struggle to find a vantage point along the way, Mrs G and I found a small bar which had a TV screen, so we asked if it could be switched to the channel showing the parade. No problemo. So, we enjoyed the whole spectacle in comfort. Very soon, all the tables were occupied as others stopped to watch the open-top tour while sipping on a Peroni. The barkeeper should have thanked us for filling his bar, but he didn’t. Instead, he did something which baffled me.

It is said that people from Napoli have a reputation for treating a situation very differently than most and what followed smacked of that... cussedness? This very Neapolitan thing occurred after we had been sat for a couple of hours. Without us even asking for it, our bill was presented to us and the TV screen was taken away. Not just switched off, but physically lifted and put somewhere else. Apparently, that sort of thing happens a lot.

Moving on from football, Napoli is a very nice city but, as with all big cities, it is busy. We ventured into the old part where the streets are barely the width of a car. Now, I know I'm generalising, but Italians love motor scooters; they are everywhere. On those narrow lanes, if you aren't nifty on your toes, you run the risk of annihilation. Those scooterists don't seem to consider that slowing down for pedestrians might be an option. Instead, they race down these narrow streets as if anyone who doesn't have a scooter shouldn't be there. I never actually saw an accident, but I heard plenty of ambulances close by.

Like many cities around the world, accommodation is of the apartment or flat-based variety rather than individual houses. These narrow roads are no exception. Flats are probably no more than five storeys high and it was here that another 'Neapolitan' moment occurred.

It relates to scooters and low-rise flats, so it is a perfect fit for this week's (g)ramble.

Mrs G and I were walking along a narrow street when we had to leap out of the way of a Just Eat delivery scooter. Far from cursing the rider for nearly knocking us down, we were impressed with the way he made his delivery.
He stopped his scooter and, pausing only to make a phone call, he unloaded his food delivery.

However, he didn't enter the building. Oh no. This guy and his customer had this whole operation sorted.

The delivery driver waited a short while and a bucket on a rope was lowered from the top floor. He then placed the food order into the bucket and it was raised up. How smart is that?

I'm guessing that he didn't receive a tip, though; he didn't reach into the bucket to take anything out. Perhaps tipping is not the Italian way. It wouldn’t happen here... they’d just nick the bucket.

.....oooOooo.....

Birthday honours...

Rather than list all the famous people born on Grambledays (Saturdays), I thought, since it is some weeks since our last birthday honours, it would be better to just give you those that can provide us with a link. Okay with that? Good. Here goes...

Were any famous (musical) folk born on the 3rd of May? Of course there were. Here are some that I have heard of.

Pete Staples 1944 - Musician. Bassist with The Troggs. Here’s your first clip of the week... Wild Thing.

Mary Hopkin 1950 - Singer. Here’s a song written for her by Paul McCartney... Goodbye. [You can't be going already. - Ed.]

Patti Boulaye 1954 - Singer, actress. Here’s You Stepped Into My Life.

David Ball 1959 - Musician. The other half of Soft Cell. Here’s the pair’s second-best performing single, Torch.

Jay Darlington 1968 - Musician. Keyboardist with Kula Shaker. Have a clip. Here’s Sound of Drums.

Mark Morrison 1972 - Singer. Here’s his big hit, the one about him getting his raincoat back, Return of the Mack. Nice footage of Concorde.

Danny Foster 1979 - Singer. A member of Hear’say. Here’s the groups first of two number ones, the one about a daft virgin, Pure and Simple.

Michael Kiwanuka 1988 - Singer/songwriter. Have a clip. Here’s one about where his team are playing this week, Home again.

What about the 10th of May?

Bert Weedon 1920 - Musician. Have a clip. This went to number 10 in the Yuk singles chart. Here's Guitar Boogie Shuffle.

Joe Moretti 1938 - Musician. He was a session guitarist who backed Johnny Kidd and the Pirates, Tom Jones and Chris Farlowe. He can also be heard on this tune, later covered as an album track by The Who, In the Hall of the Mountain King.

Donovan 1946 - Musician. In the sixties, he was called Britain’s answer to Bob Dylan. Here is a more recent song, I Am The Shaman.

Graham Gouldman 1946 - Musician. He was bassist with 10CC but had a successful career as a songwriter prior to that. Here’s his version of his own song that had been a hit for Wayne Fontana, Pamela, Pamela.

Graham Gouldman. Still flying the 10CC flag.

Dave Mason 1946 - Musician. He was a founding member of Traffic. He provides lead vocals on this song, Feelin' Alright.

Vic Elmes 1947 - Musician. Guitarist with seventies’ band, Christie. Here’s the group's second-best performing single, San Bernardino. Terrible video, lads, but it's got some good cars in it.

Stuart Braithwaite 1976 - Musician. Guitarist with Mogwai. A clip? Why not. Here’s Friend of the Night.

What do we have from the 17th of May?

Sidney Sager 1917 - Composer. He wrote the music for this Play for Today. That was a trailer for its dvd release, but you should be able to hear the rather nice theme tune.

Dick Gaughan 1948 - Musician. Have a clip. Here’s World Turned Upside Down.

Bill Bruford 1949 - Drummy bloke. Here’s a clip from a Beeb Beeb Ceeb programme called Rock Goes to College. Let’s have some jezzz. Sample and Hold. Nice.

Catherine Howe 1950 - Singer/songwriter and actress. Here’s a nice song, Quietly and Softly.

Dave Townsend 1954 - Songwriter and singer. Here he sings a tune he wrote which was a huge hit for someone else. Miss You Nights.

Alan Rankine 1958 - Musician. He was keyboardist for the Associates. Here’s their biggest hit, Party Fears Two. For some reason Rankine was on banjo-playing duties on that TV appearance.

Paul Di’Anno 1958 - Singer. Iron Maiden’s original vocalist. Time for a clip. Here’s Sanctuary.

Vernie Bennett 1971 - Singer. A founding member of Eternal. Want a clip? Of course you do. Here’s the group’s first big hit, Stay.

Michael Rosenberg aka Passenger 1984 - Musician. Here’s his biggest hit, Let Her Go.

Let’s not forget the 24th of May...

Harry Parr-Davies 1914 - Composer. Wrote a few songs for Gracie Fields. Would you like to hear one of them? [Must we? - Ed.] Yes. Here’s Sing as We Go. [Ye gods! - Ed.]

Dennis Hale 1922 - Singer and bandleader. Here’s another clip for you, Chee Chee-oo Chee.

Dave Peacock 1945 - Musician. Half of Chas and Dave... And don’t ask which one he was. A clip? The Sideboard Song. [Now you're just trying to torture us. - Ed.]

Steve Upton 1946 - Musician. Original drummer with Wishbone Ash. Here’s a song from a 20th anniversary show, Cosmic Jazz.

Paul Varley 1949 - Musician. Another drummer. He was stickman for Arrows. They were popular back in the mid-seventies, even having their own TV show called imaginatively Arrows. Here’s a toon that was a biggish hit for the group, Touch Too Much.

Guy Fletcher 1960 - Musician. A Dire Strait. A clip? Let’s have the one with the video featuring cutting-edge cgi. Here’s Money for Nothing.

Ben Howard 1988 - Musician. Here’s his best performing single, Only Love.

And finally, the 31st of May...

Alfred Deller 1912 - Singer of the counter-tenor variety. Have a clip. Here’s this week’s wee bit cultyer, The Three Ravens.

Alan Clare 1921 - Musician. Here, he requests to be dropped off in Harlem.

William ‘Junior’ Campbell 1947 - Musician. Lead guitarist with Marmalade. He co-wrote many songs, including this, Rainbow. [Nice video, but where are Zippy and Bungle? - Ed.]

John Bonham 1948 - Musician. Best known as Led Zeppelin’s drummer. Let’s have a clip. [Not one of his 20 minute solos, I hope. - Ed.] Here’s a live version of Kashmir.

What a great way to finish.

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Gramblovan,

I always loved grooving along to your music, man. It was all far out and down to Earth, man. Yeah, well, it was the hippy years. The summer of love, man. Maybe that was what inspired your obsession with colours, man. Yeah? I recall your even did one actually called Colours. Wow! Then there was Turquoise. There was another famous one, but I'm so spaced out, I can’t recall its name. Can you help me man?

Yours trippily,

Mel O'Yello.

.....oooOooo.....

Gramble time...

Since there was no bet last time out, there is nothing to report. Even worse, the footy season is at an end [Boo! - Ed.] but we can find something to gramble on [Yay! - Ed.]. Let’s have a look... I think we’ll head to the Swedish league. All games take place on the 1st of June at either 12.00 or 15.00.

Game - Result - Odds

FC Rosengard vs Torslanda - Home win - 3/4

Husqvarna vs Oskarshamns - Home win - 23/20

Eskillminne vs Trollhattan - Home win - 10/11

Ariana vs Norrby - Home win - 17/20

Hassleholms vs Skovda - Home win - 17/20

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£12.14

One of our more whopping grambles. Will it come off? [Doubt it. - Ed.]

.....oooOooo.....

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Lodi, Italy in 2000. A midfielder, I began my senior career at Brescia before moving to AC Milan, initially on loan. I moved to my current club, Newcastle United in 2023 for a fee reported to be around 70 million Euros. I have been capped for Italy 23 times.

Answer - Sandro Tonali

2. Which player scored the most goals in Merseyside derbies?

Answer - Ian Rush (25)

3. Which club links Alan Curbishley, Gianfranco Zola, Avram Grant, Sam Allardyce, David Moyes, Manuel Pellegrini and Julien Lopetegui?

Answer - West Ham

4. Which club has been beaten in major European Finals by Valencia, Real Zaragoza, Galatasaray, Barcelona and Chelsea?

Answer - Arsenal

5. Which club plays its home games at the SMISA Stadium?

Answer - St. Mirren

Shall we have five for this week? Yes, I think we shall.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Redbridge, London in 1999. A right-back, I have played all my senior football at Chelsea apart from a loan spell at Wigan Athletic. In 2019, I scored against Ajax making me Chelsea’s youngest ever scorer in the Champions League. I have been capped for England 18 times.

2. Which Liverpool player was bought for £8.5 million and sold for £105 million, the highest transfer fee in the club’s history?

3. Which Swiss player has made the most Premier League appearances?

4. What ‘record’ do clubs Barnsley, Carlisle, Glossop North End, Leyton Orient, Northampton Town and Swindon Town share?

5. Everton have played their last game at Goodison Park, what is their new stadium called?

There you have it. Have fun trying to work that lot out. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.

.....oooOooo.....

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK

.....oooOooo.....

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s). Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount quoted is miles out of date. We have now smashed through the 80 thousand barrier. Yay! The total raised for the Bobby Moore Fund now stands at...

£87,161

…..oooOooo…..

And finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. S. Baxter who provides us with our finishing clip. Stanley Baxter celebrated his 99th birthday on the 24th of May. Back in the 1960s, he was one of the highest paid comedians in the country. His shows were often extravagant affairs with any excuse for him to dress as a woman. I’m just saying. He is perhaps best remembered for his Parliamo Glasgow routines which I (as a youngster living near Glasgow) thought were hilarious. How have they aged? Let’s have a look. Here's a small snippet. Mmm, aye, well, I was very young.

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

Happy grambling.

Friday, 16 May 2025

Post 527 - A great big thank you to Mrs G

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Story time... Not really

Welcome to a rather unusual (g)ramble for this week. I thought that, rather than the usual load of old cobblers, I would write a big thank you to Mrs G.

So, no birthday honours. No clips. No predictions and no teasers. This week, it’s all about Mrs G and her fundraising.

If you take a look at the total sum of dosh that we, Stewart's family and friends, have raised for the Bobby Moore Fund, you will be mightily impressed by the total so far... or at least I hope you will. You may also note that that figure has increased by over £3000 since the last edition of your favourite ill-informed blog.

The reason for such a big increase is solely down to the efforts of Mrs G. Indeed, much of the total is thanks to Mrs G and her terrific fundraising activities over the years.

Since Stewart, the founder of this esteemed blog, died in 2013, we have endeavoured to raise awareness regarding bowel cancer affecting young and old alike. We have also continued Stewart's own fundraising activity of supporting the Bobby Moore Fund, a charity close to his heart and his bowels.

We do have our own set of rules regarding charity fundraising. We do not hold with the 'I'm doing a run for charity' style of fundraising where people give money towards you doing something extraordinary. No, we prefer to give people something for their money.

Each year since 2015, Mrs G has held a garden party/afternoon tea in memory of Stewart. Initially, as regular readers of this blog will know, these affairs were held in our own back garden. Limited space and increasing demand meant that, before long, four sittings had to be held in order to feed almost 100 people.

After losing at least two gazebos to rough weather, she decided a different approach was needed. That approach was to a local church where she could feed almost 200 in only two sittings. The downside, or upside if you are a gazebo, was that the event from then on would be held indoors. Farewell garden party, hello afternoon tea. So, almost twice the garden party number. You would have thought that half the sittings would mean half the workload. Nope. Four times the number of people had to be accommodated at any given time.

Luckily, Mrs G is a very persuasive person and has managed to gather around her a pretty useful team of helpers who are willing to help (and look forward to helping) each year.

These events are always popular with the participants and can raise up to £3000 each year.

At Christmas time, we have our annual quiz. That isn't a quiz that people attend. Instead, it is a sheet with 25 Christmas-themed questions and it costs just a quid to enter (although most people are happy to put a larger donation into the fund). Ah, I hear you say, surely with tinternet, AI and the like, it would be easy to cheat. Not so. We use the Family Fortunes/Family Feud format of looking for the most popular answer from the first 100 sheets we receive and making that the 'correct' answer. It goes down very well and the beauty is that there are no wrong answers as such.

Our problem with that format is that it is getting harder to come up with new questions each year... so if you can come up with anything, do let us know.

I digress. Mrs G's biggest contribution to the quiz is using her persuasive powers to sell as many quiz sheets as possible.

That single quiz sheet can raise up to a grand. Last year, we surpassed our previous best with a total of over £1100. Not only that, but a generous, anonymous donor 'matched' the total. Thus, over £2300 was donated to the Bobby Moore Fund thanks to that incredibly simple means of fundraising.

You may have remembered me mentioning our Singalongabingo nights.

These are fun entertainments where up to a hundred folk enjoy a game of bingo with a twist. Instead of numbers, the bingo cards have song titles. When one of these songs gets played, everyone can sing along. Indeed, some folk even get up to do a bit of dancing.

Once again, such events can raise big sums of money for the fund. And, once again, Mrs G assumes the role of salesman (I refuse to say sales person.) and ensures that the venue is full to the gunwhales... Well, as full as health and safety regulations allow. [What, exactly is a gunwhale? Whales don't have guns. - Ed.]

So, back to the recent £3000 raised for the fund. Mrs G surpassed herself with this one.

She, and most of her acquaintances, appreciate(s) the music of Abba. It just so happens that she had been to watch an Abba tribute act and she was muchly impressed. So impressed, in fact, that she arranged for the act to perform at a charity fundraiser.

After she had made this decision, doubt set in. Mrs G was no impresario and was unsure whether she could pull this one off.

Her first task was to find a suitable hall. The Abba soundalikes had their own equipment, so sound was never an issue. However, the act was professional and had to be paid. Mrs G realised that, to even start raising money, a minimum of 60 tickets needed to be sold. Luckily, she found a venue that could accommodate up to 150. It was only after she had booked this hall that another anonymous donor offered to pay the act's fee. Thanks, whoever you are.

Her next concern was whether she could sell 150 tickets. Her worries were unfounded. The total allocation was sold out within days. In fact, there was a waiting list of about 30 people who would have liked to attend.

The evening was a spectacular success and, as happens after any of her events, folk were asking her when the next one would be.

So, Mrs G, I would like to say thanks to you for your tireless fundraising efforts. And, I'm sure Cancer Research UK (which incorporates the Bobby Moore Fund) are glad that you have raised so much to help them in their research into bowel cancer treatments and cures.

[Is that it? A boring thank you to your missus? Did nothing noteworthy happen at this event? - Ed.]

There was one moment that demonstrated just how generous people can be when it comes to charity fundraising.

The Abba soundalikes (lookalikes too) kindly donated four tickets for a future gig they were doing. They thought we could include them in our raffle. Instead of doing that, Mrs G decided to auction them. After finding somebody who was adept at being an auctioneer, the bids began. Now, I should point out that the face value of these tickets was 60 quids total, so it came as a surprise that the bids soon passed that figure. 100 was reached and the bids continued. Somebody who obviously really wanted them bid 120. Wow! Twice the value! It looked as though that bid was going to be the successful one when somebody came in with an offer of 140. Sold!

Later in the evening, the person that bought them approached Mrs G and made an offer... If the person who bid 120 really wanted the tickets, they could have them, but there was a catch. The person insisted that she would pay the 140 and give the tickets to the lady who had bid 120... as long as she paid the 120 that she had bid. Thus, £260 was raised from the auction of four £15 tickets. Brill!

[Yes, all very laudable, but where’s the funny incident to finish? Did nothing amusing happen? - Ed.]

Well, no. Not at the Abba night, anyway. However, the venue used for the event also had a public bar. Although this room was completely separate from the hall we were using, it was necessary to go through the bar to reach the loos. On my first visit, I discovered that there was karaoke in progress. No, I didn’t join in. Although I might well have been a better singer than the old guy who was gamely belting out the Elvis Presley classic, Teddy Bear.

Nothing too unusual about that. Karaoke nights attract singers of various ability levels.

Later in the evening, I had to pay a second visit to the toilet. Probably, this was over an hour later. I could not believe the sound that was emanating from the bar. The same old guy was at the mike singing, you’ve guessed it, Teddy Bear. It made me wonder. Were there no other singers that night? Had he been at the mike all night? Was it the only song he knew and he had perhaps been singing the song all evening as if on a loop?

We shall never know.

It didn’t matter anyway. It didn’t detract from the terrific entertainment that was taking place in the hall next door. And that was all thanks to Mrs G.

I’ll finish with a question for her... When's your next event?

.....oooOooo.....

Remember the serious message...

.....oooOooo.....

£87,161

…..oooOooo…..

Happy grambling.

Friday, 25 April 2025

Post 526 - The key to grambling

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Story time...

Do you own a car? If so, does it have remote locking? By that, I mean, can you unlock your car by simply pressing a button on the key fob? Quite a useful feature you might think.

Moving on, do you start the engine without having to use the key? In other words, as long as the key is in the car, you simply press a button on the dashboard. There's an interesting word - dashboard. What has that got to do with motoring, I hear you ask. I'll tell you. Nothing. Instead, it is a word from the days of horse-drawn carts and buggies. There was a wooden board in front of the driver, which prevented stones or gravel from being 'dashed up' into the cart. See? Educational this is. Mind you, that still doesn't explain why the word got adopted for cars, although early cars were built like horse-drawn buggies, so the dashboard was still there.

Any road up, back to the plot. Why? [Why what? - Ed.] I have a car with keyless ignition. Why do we need it? To me it is more trouble than it is worth. How do you mean, I hear you ask. Think about it. If you use a key to start the car, you know where the key is. It is in a keyhole on the dashboard. [You don't say. - Ed.] It is the starter. A twist of the key and the engine roars into life. Simple. No separate button is needed. When you want to leave the car, you simply turn the key the opposite way, the engine stops, you remove the key, get out and lock the car. [Riiight. With you so far. - Ed]

However, with the keyless ignition, you have to put the key somewhere. [And your point is? Just stick it in a pocket. - Ed.] Exactly. Stick it in a pocket. What if the pocket you put it in has other things in it, such as other keys, hankies, money and any manner of rubbish? (That's assuming you've remembered which pocket you put the blibbing thing in, in the first place.) When you get out of the car, you've got to find the damn thing. It can take ages to find the right key so that you can lock the car. Fine on a dry day; not so fine if the rain is pishing it down and it's blowing a hoolie.

So my question to those people who design cars, why do you think it is necessary to foist clever gizmos onto us drivers who simply want to... erm... drive?

Don't get me started on those dirty great touch-screen computers that are there to be used to control functions on a car.

We can be stopped and fined for using mobile phones in cars because they are a distraction. Excuse me, I think that those screens are a far greater distraction than any mobile phone. Yet car makers continue to provide us drivers with that as the only means of operating controls such as heating.

Do you know why car manufacturers persevere with computer screens rather than physical pushbuttons? Cheapness. Seriously. It is cheaper to have an electrical line from the various functions to a single control point than to have individual lines to several switches and buttons. It makes economic sense to the manufacturer, but is not very practical for the end user: me; the driver.

It is made even worse in places like here in the Yuk and Japan or Malta where road users drive on the left. The touch-screen computer is positioned on the centre of the dashboard. [And? - Ed] And ninety per cent of drivers are right-handed, but they have to operate the thing with their left hand. Not easy, I can tell you. Mind you, south paws are probably laughing up their sleeves because, for the first time ever, something favours them rather than right handers.

When I first learned to drive, some time back in the last century, cars were simpler affairs. There were no computers or clever screens to operate; everything worked by a simple flip of a switch or by moving a slider from side to side. Having said that, they were forever breaking down, so the engine management computer was a real improvement. But why do we need anything more in a car? Satellite navigation is useful, true, but we managed with good old-fashioned map books and something called common sense before sat nav became more or less standard in cars, so it isn't something that might be termed a necessity.

Parking sensors are now fitted to most cars but, again, they are not a necessity. We used to judge parking by using mirrors and actually looking out of the car windows.

If the reason for removing physical switches is cost, why do we get so many other totally useless gizmos fitted? How do you mean, I hear you ask. [You seem to be hearing a lot of voices today. I can't hear a thing. - Ed.] Can anyone tell me why my last car was fitted with 'mood lighting'? Sorry pardon excuse me what? Yes, mood lighting which was a very slim strip of leds running along the top of the doors and along the dashboard. It could change to any random colour. What a waste of time and money. Worse was the light that shone from the door handle to spell out the make of the car on the road when you opened the door. Why? Did they think I might forget what make of car I was driving? Oh no! That would be awful. [You are being sarcastic, aren't you? - Ed.] I am indeed. What a complete waste of money.

Do we need automatic lights and automatic wipers? Don't stop me now, I'm on a roll. I'm perfectly capable of switching them on myself when they are needed.

Air conditioning. There's another waste. If I get too warm, I can open the blibbing window.

Here's my message to car designers and manufacturers. Keep it simple. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. [You what? - Ed.] Let's take it to extremes... Just because somebody can make nuclear bombs doesn't mean they should. Get my drift? [Think so. - Ed.]

I'm still waiting for that heated windscreen to be standardised. Maybe they don't put it into cars because it is something that drivers might actually fn well want.

.....oooOooo.....

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 19th of April? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Herbert Wilcox 1890 - Film producer and director. Sixty Glorious Years, that was one of his. Starred his missus, Anna Neagle.

Alan Wheatley 1907 - Actor. Sheriff of Nottingham in 81 episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

William Moore 1916 - Actor. Mr Lumsden in 39 episodes of Sorry!

Alexis Korner 1928 - Musician. He was sometimes called ‘a founding father of British blues’. Let’s have a clip from his musical combo The Collective Consciousness Society or CCS as they were less pretentiously known. The band’s most famous work was an instrumental version of Led Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love which was used as the theme music for Top of the Pops. But you don’t want to hear that. Let’s have something different. Here’s Brother

Alexis Korner. Whole lot of hair.

Garfield Morgan 1931 - Actor. Haskins in 45 episodes of The Sweeney. 146 credits on IMDb.

Harold ‘Dickie’ Bird 1933 - Cricketty umpire bloke.

Dudley Moore 1935 - Comedian, musician and actor. Arthur in... erm... Arthur. Let’s have a musical/comedy clip from a very talented musician.

Dougal Haston 1940 - Mountaineer.

Michel Roux 1941 - Cook.

Alan Price 1942 - Musician. Began as keyboardist and arranger with the Animals, before forming his own band, The Alan Price Set, going it alone and also working as part of a duo with Georgie Fame. Here’s a hit from the that pairing, Rosetta.

Eve Graham 1943 - Singer. Part of the New Seekers. Here’s the group’s first single, Meet My Lord.

Margo MacDonald 1943 - Politician.

Tim Curry 1946 - Actor. Famously featured as faintly feminine Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He also had a go as a singer. Would you like a clip? Here’s Read My Lips. Hmm..

Susie Blake 1950 - Actress. Hilary Nicholson in Mrs Brown’s Boys.

Trevor Francis 1954 - Footy bloke.

Sue Barker 1956 - Tennisy bloke.

Mark Greenstreet 1960 - Mike Hardy in 23 episodes of Trainer.

Gordon Marshall 1964 - Fitba guy. Ex-Motherwell, you know. A goalie.

Perry Groves 1965 - Footy bloke.

Mike Stowell 1965 - Footy bloke. Another goalie.

Kelly Holmes 1970 - Athleticky bloke.

Gok Wan 1974 - TV presenter.

Sarah Price 1979 - Swimmy bloke.

Victoria Yeates 1983 - Actress. Sister Winifred in 46 episodes of Call the Midwife.

Joe Hart 1987 - Footy bloke. Yet another goalie.

Nick Pope 1992 - Footy bloke. Not the actual pope. Another goalie? What the blibbing flip is going on?

Sebastian de Souza 1993 - Actor. Leo Veronsky in The Great.

Now then, what about the 26th of April? What famous individuals came into the world on that date?

Roy Redgrave 1873 - Actor. The originator of what has become something of an acting dynasty. He was the father of Michael who begat (There’s an old-fashioned word. You don’t hear of beget and begat these days.) Vanessa, Corin and Lynn. Vanessa was mum to actresses Natasha and Joely Richardson and film screenwriter, director and producer Carlo Nero. Natasha was mum to Micheál (Yes, that is spelt correctly.) Richardson. Joely is mum to Daisy Bevan. Corin was dad to Jemma Redgrave. A lot of begetting going on there.

Alliott Verdon Roe 1877 - Aviation pioneer and founder of the Avro company.

Eric Campbell 1879 - Actor. Often played the intimidating bully in early Charlie Chaplin films. Though he appeared in 11 such films, his movie career lasted barely a year as he was killed in a car crash aged just 38.

John Grierson 1898 - film maker. Known as the father of documentary films. I’m going to give you a couple of links here. One is a clip from a famous film he made in 1936. The ‘verse commentary’ was written by W. H. Auden and the score was composed by Benjamin Britten. Here’s (some of) Night Mail. I mentioned a couple of clips, didn’t I? The commentary has been used in more recent times by Public Service Broadcasting, a band I rather enjoy. Please enjoy Night Mail.

Jimmy McGrory 1904 - Fitba guy.

Charlie Chester 1914 - Comedian it says here.

Ken Wallis 1916 - Autogyro expert.

David Coleman 1926 - Sports commentator.

Derek Waring 1927 - Actor. D.I. Neil Goss in 215 episodes of Z-Cars.

Jack Douglas 1927 - Comedian it says here.

Pat Quinn 1936 - Fitba guy. Ex-Motherwell, you know.

Willie Wood 1938 - Booly guy.

Ralph Coates 1946 - Footy bloke.

Lois Baxter 1947 - Actress. Lady Caroline in When the Boat Comes In.

Warren Clarke 1947 - Actor. Det. Supt. Andy Dalziel in 61 episodes Dalziel and Pascoe.

Charlotte Cornwell 1949 - Actress. Liz in Dressing for Breakfast.

Roger Taylor 1960 - Musician. Drummy bloke with Duran Duran. Time for another clip. Enjoy one of the weirdest (and probably expensive to make) promotional music videos ever made - The Wild Boys.

Susannah Harker 1965 - Actress. Jo Franklyn in Chancer.

Daniela Nardini 1968 - Actress. Anna Forbes in 32 episodes of This Life.

Gregor Townsend 1973 - Rugby guy.

Jamie McAllister 1978 - Fitba guy.

Dougie Ramsay 1979 - Fitba guy. Ex-Motherwell, you know.

Pete Firman 1980 - Comedian/magician.

Niomi McLean-Daley aka Ms. Dynamite 1981 - Singer/rapper. Another clip? Most deferably. Here’s It Takes More.

Jon Lee 1982 - Singer and actor. Part of S Club (7). Let’s have another clip. Here’s a jolly toon Bring It All Back.

Ricky Norwood 1983 - Actor. Arthur Chubb in 452 episodes of Eastenders you slaaag!

Anya Taylor-Joy 1996 - Actress. Beth Harman in The Queen’s Gambit.

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Eve Gramblham,

It was so nice to hear a song from your little singing group the New Sneakers. I wonder, did you ever sing a song that could be suggestive of somebody’s name?

Yours exploringly,

Nick L. Song

.....oooOooo.....

Gramble time...

Since there was no bet last time out, there is nothing to report, so let’s crack on with this week’s predictions from The Grambler...

Game - Result - Odds

Preston North End vs Plymouth Argyle - Home win - 5/6

Crawley Town vs Northampton Town - Home win - Evens

Burton Albion vs Cambridge Utd. - Home win - 17/20

Stockport County vs Lincoln City - Home win - 5/6

Queen of the South vs Stenhousemuir - Home win - 19/20

The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping

£12.02

As whoppingness goes, that’s fairly whopping, I think you’ll agree.

.....oooOooo.....

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Westhoughton, Lancashire in 1944. A striker, I began my senior career in 1959 at Bolton Wanderers before moving to Manchester City. I ended my career at Derby County. I was also capped for England 27 times. Outside of football, I founded a paper recycling company.

Answer - Francis Lee

2. Which Wolverhampton Wanderers player was capped 105 times?

Answer - Billy Wright

3. Southampton are not scoring many goals this season, are they, but who has scored the most goals for the Saints with 228?

Answer - Mick Channon with 228

4. Which club links Luther Blisset, Ray Wilkins, Mark Hateley, David Beckham, Fikayo Tomorie and Kyle Walker.

Answer - They all won England caps while at AC Milan.

5. Which club plays its home games at Stark’s Park?

Answer - Raith Rovers

How did you get on? Too easy? Okay, try these...

1. Who am I?

2. Which player scored the most goals in Merseyside derbies? [Is that Everton vs Liverpool? - Ed.] Yes. [Just asking on behalf of the millions of readers out there. - Ed.]

3. Which club links Alan Curbishley, Gianfranco Zola, Avram Grant, Sam Allardyce, David Moyes, Manuel Pellegrini and Julien Lopetegui?

4. Which club has been beaten in major European Finals by Valencia, Real Zaragoza, Galatasaray, Barcelona and Chelsea?

5. Which club plays its home games at the SMISA Stadium?

.....oooOooo.....

Remember the serious message...

.....oooOooo.....

£83,962

…..oooOooo…..

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. D. Moore. Not only him, but also a Mr. P. Cook who also helps out with this week’s finishing item.

I always saw Pete and Dud, as they were affectionately known, as the original Fry and Laurie. How so, I hear you ask. Well, all four found early fame as duos. In each case the dominant member, Peter Cook and Stephen Fry, found early fame as a solo ‘turn’. The other members’ careers... Dudley Moore and Hugh Laurie (both gifted musicians, incidentally)... seemed to languish a little before they both became mega stars in the good ol’ U S of A, Dudley Moore starring in Arthur and Hugh Laurie in House. During Moore and Laurie’s success years Cook and Fry’s own careers wobbled a bit before they both became ‘national treasures’ in the world of luvviedom.

And so to our finishing item... Unfortunately, most of the footage of Pete and Dud’s BBC series Not Only But Also has been lost. Apparently video tape was so expensive in the 1960s that it was deemed to be more economical to erase such gems and reuse the tapes. A great shame. Thankfully, a few snippets remain and I suspect that the piece that follows may have been an early example of home taping. Huzzah for that. So, without further ado, now is the time to say Goodbye.

Happy grambling.

Thursday, 17 April 2025

Post 525 - Five little gramblings

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

You are no doubt wondering why there has been no edition of the world’s greatest ill-informed blog of late; or of early, for that matter. I have been kept busy with other things such as one wedding and a funeral. Other than those, I have doing a lot of bits and bobs, odds and sods. Probably more bits and odds than sods and bobs, though. Talking of odds, I think Mrs G deserves a special mention. She always likes a wee flutter on the Grand National. Fine. So do millions of other once-a-year gamblers. She sometimes wins. Sadly, on this occasion, she won fu... nothing. Also sadly, she used the online account meant for our weekly (weakly?) gramble. Wiped it out, she did. I’m a bit miffed about that. Cost me eight quid!

Anyway, as this is being posted midweek, I’ll avoid any predictions and, as a special treat, provide you with two story times. [That’s not a treat; that’s torture. - Ed.] Would you like that? Are you sitting comfortably? Then, I’ll begin...

Story Time 1

After my cheese story... The cheese story. You remember it. You do. The one about the guy stealing 22 tonnes of cheese. You must remember it. It was only a few months ago. You know the one. No? Never mind. Any road up, it was the story I have since dubbed the great cheese heist of 2024. [Shouldn't, heh heh, that be, heh heh, the grate cheese heist of 2024? Do you see what I did there? - Ed.] Ahem...I thought I would look for other interesting news headlines. What about this one?

Prolific shoplifter banned from wearing wigs

Once again, it made me wonder what the blibbing...

Okay, I'm guessing that said shoplifter... Shoplifter, it's an interesting word, isn't it? Why shoplifter? Nobody can actually lift a shop. The lifting part refers to the goods they help themselves to. Yes? So if they were to steal, say, a shirt, they might be known as a shirtli... Maybe not. Any road up, I digress. I'm surmising that the thief was known as somebody who would don disguises as they went about their nefarious (That's a good word. Wonder what it means.) business.

My question is this: How on earth can the polis enforce the ruling that the wig-wearing ne'er-do-well must become a non-wig-wearing ne'er do thingy? Surely, the very reason the crook dons a wig in the first place is to disguise his or her appearance. So, answer me this, how is a disguised criminal going to be recognised?

'Yes officer, I am indeed wearing a wig. What? You think I'm that shoplifter who got banned from wearing wigs? How can I be? I'm wearing a wig. They aren't allowed to, so I'm obviously not them. What? Why have I got ten kilograms of cheese in my bag? I like cheese... a lot. Receipt? I don't actually have one. You see, believe it or believe it not, it fell off the back of a lorry. I can get you some if you like... I know a bloke who's got tons of the stuff.'

Then again, any criminal who is worth their salt can adopt a far better disguise these days. The face mask. There are still people out there who don't like to venture out without a face mask. [Like Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th. - Ed.] No, not like him. I'm talking about people wearing protective masks. Obviously, they still worry about contracting covid (the well-known virus from off of the pandemic) and are doing their best to avoid picking up any germs. Admittedly, there aren't many still wearing such masks, but there are enough out there for nobody to think twice about it. Nowadays, we tend to simply dismiss them as being a bit eccentric or even cowardly. Whatever we think, such a disguise would go pretty much unnoticed; perfect for any budding thieves out there.

Not that I'm advocating any such thing but, if you are considering a life of crime, it's an option... Just remember, it wasn't me that gave you the advice. Okay?

By the way, can I interest you in some cheese?

Story Time 2

I will begin this tale by asking if you have ever read Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books. It was a trilogy... of five books. I can't remember which book it was that contained the gem relating to a film which won an award for the most gratuitous use of the word f*ck in a screenplay. No matter, but it does, obliquely, tie in with this week's topic.

Incidentally, that line in the book had to be censored for the US edition. Instead of the word f*ck, Adams put in the word Belgium, which is arguably funnier.

Any road up, this week's topic concerns the proliferation (That's a good word. I’m full of them this week.) of adverts and products that use words closely related to the ‘f word’ in all its forms. However do you mean, I hear you ask?

The first instance worth mentioning is the clothing company FCUK. Those initials, they claim, stand for 'French Connection United Kingdom'. Aye, sure they do.

Their products are probably popular with children who think they are being incredibly risqué by wearing them and adults with a very childish sense of humour. Oh, how we laughed.

Twas ever so. When I was a teenager, I thought it funny that I had a sweatshirt with the word 'bullshirt' embroidered on it. The writing was very small, so that, from a distance, it might have been mistaken for another word. Oh, how we laughed.

Then, there is the restaurant chain with the name TFI Friday. Again, the claim is that the F stands for some innocent word such as flip, but really, the actual word is pretty obvious. Oh, how we laughed.

A cinema ad years ago for an American lager, featured a Yank wearing a rather fetching fur hat. The script had him saying that he was filming in some obscure location, and that he couldn't work out the director's instruction that he should wear the fox hat. Oh, how we laughed.

There is an advert on TV currently that extols the virtues of a particular holiday company. In it, those that use the company are described as smart bookers... or is it clever bookers. Again, it is obvious what word is implied by the word booker. It is also voiced by Paddy McGuinness, so it is perhaps no surprise that it is almost exactly the complete opposite of subtle. Oh how... etc.

Even in those bastions of sense and sensibility, hospitals, I have spotted the f word substitute cropping up. I have seen a poster trying to point out the dangers of diabetes in young people. The suggestion is that they stop drinking sugary drinks. Very sensible. How do they get this laudable message across? An image of a generic drink carton with the words 'Just duk it'. Come on; who are you kidding? Unless I'm missing some diabetes in joke here. If I am, I apologise. To me, it is just further proof that our language is regressing rather that progressing.

What has sparked this rant regarding the deterioration of the English language and the acceptance of swearing as if it doesn't matter. [Actually, does it? They are only words, after all. - Ed.] True, but some of us grew up when such words were definitely not used in polite conversation. Swearing was seen as having a poor vocabulary. Nowadays, swearing is everywhere. Okay, maybe I can accept that, but one place I don't think it is appropriate is on children's television and programmes for under fives at that. Surely not, I hear you protest. Surely so, I answer.

There is an animated series aimed at pre-school-aged kids called Hey Duggie. Very popular it is, too. Quite often, the programme features a jolly singalong song that little uns can... erm... sing along to. I recommend The Stick Song.

Sometimes, a classic nursery song is given a makeover to make it sound a bit more modern. One such is every kid's favourite, Five Little Ducks. You know the one. You do. Don't pretend you don't. It goes... Five little ducks went swimming one day, over the hills and far away, mother duck went quack quack quack quack and only four little ducks came back... and so it goes on until no little ducks come back, by which time mother duck has probably been reported to the authorities for negligence. Luckily, it all ends well, with all five little ducks returning safely. [Thank goodness for that; I was getting really worried there. - Ed.]

So, let's get back to the Hey Duggie version. First off, it is sung or, rather, spoken in the style of Boris Johnson. That, in itself, is amusing to adults, although pre-fives wouldn't understand the joke. Actually, it may well be Boris himself doing the voice-over; we know how much he rates children's TV programmes. Peppa Pig seems to be a favourite of his. And he probably would do anything for money so, yes, it could be him. [I should point out that Boris would absolutely, definitely, categorically not do anything for money... so please don't sue us. - Ed.]

Anyhow, I mentioned that this particular nursery rhyme had been given a modern makeover. While Boris (soundalike) is reading the standard words, there is a background chorus of 'Where are the ducks at.' That doesn't look too problematic when it is written down, but listen to it and you'll understand the reason for my disapproval.

Five Little Ducks Song  | Duggee Nursery Rhymes | Hey Duggee - YouTube

Shocked and stunned I am.

.....oooOooo.....

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 29th of March? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.

Selwyn Edge 1868 - Car racey/recordy bloke.

Edwin Lutyens 1869 - Architect.

Mabel Constanduros 1880 - Actress and writer. An early British radio star.

William Walton 1902 - Prolific composer. Here’s your first clip of the week, his patriotic score for the equally patriotic wartime film First of the Few.

Arthur Negus 1903 - He was the first of the many TV antiques experts. His TV career started at the age of 62 when he was on the panel of the antiques programme Going for a Song.

A song? I’d arg I’m worth more than that.

Jack Jones 1913 - Trade Union leader.

Chapman Pincher 1914 - Journalist, historian and novelist. He lived to be 100.

George Chisholm 1915 - Musician. Have a little clip. West End Blues.

Geoff Duke 1923 - Motorbike racery bloke.

Reg Gutteridge 1924 - Boxing commentator. [What does that entail? ‘He’s hit him. He’s hit him again. He’s hit him back.’ - Ed.]

Philip Locke 1928 - Actor. Vargas in Thunderball.

Norman Tebbit 1931 - Politician. I wonder if he can still ride his bike.

Terry Lawless 1933 - Boxing trainer.

Ruby Murray 1935 - Singer. A clip? Why not. Here’s her number one record, Softly Softly. [I could fair go a tikka masala. - Ed.]

Richard Rodney Bennett 1936 - Composer. Here’s one of his film scores; see if you recognise it.

Richard Sarstedt aka Eden Kane 1940 - Singer. Have another clip. Here’s Forget Me Not.

Julie Goodyear 1942 - Actress. Bet Lynch in Coronation Street.

Eric Idle 1943 - Comedian. Member of ‘The Pythons’.

John Major 1943 - Politician.

John Suchet 1944 - Newsreader.

John ‘Speedy’ Keen 1945 - Musician. His greatest success came with his song Something in the Air which he performed as vocalist with Thunderclap Newman. Did you know he also penned this one? Here’s Armenia City in the Sky.

Dave Greenfield 1949 - Musician. Keyboardist with The Stranglers. Have a clip. Here’s his most famous piece, Golden Brown.

Paul Gilbertson 1962 - Musician. Founding member of James. Have a clip. Here’s Chain Mail.

Dom Littlewood 1965 - TV presenter.

Priti Patel 1972 - Politician.

What about the 5th of April? Anyone famous born on that date? Of course there were...

Joseph Lister 1827 - Surgeon.

Harry Daft 1866 - Crickety bloke. I’ve never heard of him, but what a name.

Chesney Allen 1894 - Entertainer. Became famous as half of Flanagan and Allen and being part of a popular comedy troupe known as ‘The Crazy Gang’. He and Bud Flanagan sang a few songs which were incredibly popular in their day. Here’s a recording from 1939, The Umbrella Man.

John Le Mesurier 1912 - Jobbing actor. His most famous role was as Sgt. Wilson in Dad’s Army. 241 credits on IMDb.

Arthur Hailey 1920 - Orfer. Airport: that was one of his.

Tom Finney 1922 - Footy bloke.

Michael Bryant 1928 - Actor. Cdr. George Marsh in Colditz.

Nigel Hawthorne 1929 - Actor. Sir Humphrey Appleby in Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister.

Joe Meek 1929 - Record producer. Famously recorded in a studio of his small flat which provided a unique sound. He wrote and produced this tune which reached number one in both the UK and the good ol’ U S of A, Telstar.

Peter Grant 1935 - Music producer who managed the Yardbirds, Led Zeppelin and Bad Company among others.

Robin Smith 1939 - Who? He used the stage name Crispian St. Peters. [Pretentious? Moi? - Ed.] Have a clip. Here’s Pied Piper.

Dave Swarbrick 1941 - Musician. A bit of Fairport Convention. Here he is fiddling away on Lark in the Morning.

Peter Greenaway 1942 - Film producer. The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover was one of his.

Allan Clark 1942 - Singer and songwriter. A Holly. Would you like a clip? Of course you would. Here’s Carrie Anne.

Tommy Smith 1945 - Footy bloke.

Jane Asher 1946 - Actress, author and cake maker. First sampled fame when she was Paul McCartney’s bird back in the sixties.

Russell Davies 1946 - Journalist and broadcaster.

Dave Holland 1948 - Drummer. A bit of Judas Priest. Let’s have another clip. Here’s Breaking the Law.

Les Binks 1948 - Drummer. A bit of Judas Priest before Dave Holland. Evidently, all drummers had to be born on the same day.

Roy McFarland 1948 - Footy bloke. He was playing in the very first game I ever went to. Yes, I am that old.

Everett Morton 1950 - Drummer. A bit of The Beat. Here’s the band’s first hit, Tears of a Clown.

Anthony Horowitz 1955 - Orfer. Created the boy spy, Alex Rider.

Janice Long 1955 - Broadcaster.

Ian Redford 1960 - Fitba guy.

Richard Gough 1962 - Fitba guy or should that be fotbollsspelare?

Stewart Lee 1968 - Comedian.

Krishnan Guru-Murthy 1970 - Journalist and presenter.

Victoria Hamilton 1971 - Actress. Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother in The Crown.

Jason Done 1973 - Actor. Tom Clarkson in Waterloo Road.

John Hartson 1975 - pêl-droediwr

Dwain Chambers 1978 - Athleticky bloke.

Lily James 1989 - Actress. Lady Rose Aldridge in Downton Abbey.

And now, please welcome those famous folk born on the 12th of April.

Agnes Brown 1866 - Suffragist.

William ‘Fatty’ Foulke 1874 - Footy bloke from pre-politically correct times.

Cecil Kimber 1888 - Motor engineer and founder of the MG car company.

Eddie Turnbull 1923 - Fitba guy.

Oliver Postgate 1925 - Animator.

Elspet Gray 1929 - Actress. Gertrude, Queen of Flanders in The Blackadder.

John Beerling 1937 - Radio producer and station controller.

Alan Ayckbourn 1939 - Playwright and director.

Bobby Moore 1941 - Footy bloke.

Bill Bryden 1942 - Playwright, director and screenwriter.

Liz Gebhardt 1945 - Actress. Maureen Bullock in Please Sir! and The Fenn Street Gang.

George Robertson 1946 - Politician.

Jeremy Beadle 1948 - Prankster or pain in the a***, take your pick.

Tony James 1953 - Musician. Bassist with Generation X before forming Sigue Sigue Sputnik. Have a bit of rockabilly electronica... or whatever it was classified as. Here’s Love Missile F1 11.

Tony Dunn 1957 - Actor. Tony in Dinnerladies.

Will Sergeant 1958 - Musician. A Bunnyman. Have a clip. Here’s Nothing Lasts Forever.

Jan Pearson 1959 - Actress. Karen Hollins in Doctors.

Chris Fairclough 1964 - Footy bloke.

Sean Welch 1965 - Musician. Bassist for The Beautiful South. Here’s a track that didn’t do as well as some, Let Love Speak Up Itself.

Guy Berryman 1978 - Musician. A bit of Coldplay...ing the bass. A clip? Why not. Here’s Humankind.

Paul Nicholls 1979 - Actor. Steve Bell in Ackley Bridge.

Gary Caldwell 1982 - Fitba guy.

Phoebe Thomas 1983 - Actress. Maria Kendall in Holby City.

Mark Hoyle aka LadBaby 1987 - Youtuber, blogger and (it says here) musician. He seems to have a sausage roll fixation judging by his run of number one Christmas singles. Which shall we have? Let’s have the original, We Built This City... on Sausage Rolls.

Steven Lawless 1991 - Fitba guy. Ex-Motherwell, you know.

Jordan Archer 1993 - Footy bloke. Ex-Motherwell, you know.

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Will Sergramble,

It was wonderful to hear a song by you and the other Bunnymen, not forgetting Echo, of course. We both enjoyed it very much. Here’s a question for you. What was the Doors song that you covered for a film soundtrack?

Yours oddly,

P. Pull, R. Strange.

.....oooOooo.....

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Wembley in 1995. A winger, I began my senior career at Norwich City and was loaned out to Swindon Town, Southend United, Blackpool, Scunthorpe United, Colchester United and Coventry City. In 2017 I was transferred to Newcastle United and again was loaned out to other clubs; this time West Bromwich Albion and Sheffield Wednesday. I now play in the Newcastle first team, clocking up 175 games so far. I have a twin brother who plays football for Portsmouth.

Answer - Jacob Murphy

2. Who is the only ‘Albanian’ to currently play in the Premier League?

Answer - Armando Broja. I put Albania in inverted commas because he was actually born in Slough.

3. Which player has made the most appearances for Aston Villa?

Answer - Charlie Aitken

4. Which Canadian has made the most Premier League appearances?

Answer - Tomasz Radzinski (194)

5. Name all the teams in the English and Scottish senior leagues with the word ‘Rangers’ in their name.

Answer - There are three: Queens Park Rangers, the Teddy Bears (Rangers) and Cove Rangers

What about five for this time? How about these?

1. Who am I?

Here’s an oldie.

2. Which Wolverhampton Wanderers player was capped 105 times?

3. Southampton are not scoring many goals this season, are they, but who has scored the most goals for the Saints with 228?

4. Which club links Luther Blisset, Ray Wilkins, Mark Hateley, David Beckham, Fikayo Tomorie and Kyle Walker.

5. Which club plays its home games at Stark’s Park? I’ve no idea who or what a Stark is.

.....oooOooo.....

Remember the serious message...

.....oooOooo.....

£83,962

…..oooOooo…..

And Finally...

And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. S. Lee who provides this week’s finishing item. Stewart Lee has been one of my favourite comedians for a long time. I first went to see him live 28 years ago. But he is an acquired taste. Here, he explains why not everyone appreciates his humour.

Happy grambling.

Pages

Sunday, 1 June 2025

Post 528 - Grambling in Napoli

£12.14

£87,161

Friday, 16 May 2025

Post 527 - A great big thank you to Mrs G

£87,161

Friday, 25 April 2025

Post 526 - The key to grambling

£12.02

£83,962

Thursday, 17 April 2025

Post 525 - Five little gramblings

£83,962

The Bobby Moore Fund

Links