Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.
Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).
If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997
Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…
Story Time
In the week that has seen the venerable Tupperware company file for bankruptcy and restaurant chain TGI Fridays (Did you know that TGI stands for the words ‘Thank God it’s’ and not the phrase ‘Thank goodness it’s’ as used in some TV commercials? [Did you care? - Ed.]) might possibly be shutting its doors, I have another tale that does not bode well for a familiar name.
There has been a few shop closures on the High Street in recent times. [Not just the High Street, I've seen some close on Main Road, as well. And Market Street. - Ed.] Ahem... Many big names have disappeared in recent years. Some businesses are managing to keep going by closing those shops which aren't profitable enough. A certain chemist has closed hundreds of stores nationwide in the past few years. Even that seemingly most profitable of public house chains... Werthers originals has been closing some of its boozers. Another revered name has been ditching shops - Newsagent and stationers WH... let's call them Jones.
All very sad... or is it? Sorry pardon excuse me? Is it sad or is it inevitable?
Today, Mrs G was leaving the house to visit the shops and asked if there was anything I wanted.
I asked if she could get me a reporter's notebook. A what, I hear you ask. It's a ring-bound notebook just for making... erm... notes.
The last time I recall buying such an item, it was in a pack of three and
cost about a quid.
She thought the best place to buy this example of stationery would be a stationers. WH Sm... Jones. Where else? When in the shop, she couldn't find said notebook, so asked a member of staff at the checkout point who went straight to the area and took one off the shelf and returned to the till brandishing the item.
Mrs G bought the notebook, paid by card (as you do) and returned home.
It was only then that she happened to look at the receipt. How much do you think this single notebook
cost?
Bearing in mind that a previous purchase had been one pound for three, you'd expect what? Fifty... sixty pees, maybe? Higher? A quid, maybe? Are you ready for this? £4.49. That's four pounds and forty nine pence. For one. Not three. One.
I suggested earlier that perhaps the demise of this stationers was inevitable; on this showing, it won't be long in happening. I'd give them a couple of years.
P.S. I took the offending article back and got my money back. I then went to another stationery shop called... The Wonks... close enough. There, I bought a notebook with 50% more pages and, not only that, each page was 70gsm as opposed to 60gsm. You haven't got a clue what I'm on about, have you? It means the weight of paper per square metre. So instead of 60 grammes per square metre, the pages of this are 70 grammes per square metre... I’ll get me coat. Any road up, the point I am making is that this notebook is far better quality at a far lower price.
Make that a year.
.....oooOooo.....
Birthday honours...
Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 14th of September? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.
Moore Marriott 1885 - Actor. Harbottle in Windbag the Sailor. Sorry pardon excuse me? It was his first of many films he made with Will Hay.
Gillie Potter 1887 - Comedian. Popular in the early days of radio.
Alex James 1901 - Fitba guy.
Peter Scott 1909 - Ornithologist. Robert Falcon’s boy.
Jack Hawkins 1910 - Actor. Major Warden in Bridge on the River Kwai.
Janet Davies 1927 - Actress. Mrs Pike (Frank’s mum) in Dad’s Army.
Angus Ogilvy 1928 - Businessman who married a minor Royal.
Michael Peacock 1929 - TV executive.
Peter Blythe 1934 - Actor. Sam Ballard in Rumpole of the Bailey.
Amanda Barrie 1935 - Actress. Cleopatra in Carry On Cleo.
Nicol Williamson 1936 - Actor. Merlin in Excalibur.
Tony Hooper 1939 - Musician. A founder member of the Strawbs. Here is a little toon he wrote and sang, Ah Me, Ah my.
John Lyons 1943 - Actor. George Toolan in A Touch of Frost.
Martin Tyler 1945 - Footy commentatory bloke.
Pete Agnew 1946 - Musician. Last remaining founder member of Nazareth. Let’s have a clip. Here's Move Me.
Sam Neill 1947 - Actor. Alan Grant in Jurassic Park.
Joan Thirkettle 1947 - Journalist and broadcaster.
Paul Kossoff 1950 - Musician. He was guitarist with Free. A clip? Why not. Here's My Brother Jake.
Ray ‘Butch’ Wilkins 1956 - Footy Bloke.
John Price 1960 - Chwaraewr bowls
Antonia de Sancha 1961 - Actress and businesswoman, it says here.
John Power 1967 - Musician. Frontman of Cast. Another clip? From Cast, the band we had a clip from last edition? Aye, go on, then. Here’s Love is the Call.
Grant Shapps 1968 - Politician.
Sarah Moyle 1969 - Actress. Valerie Pitman in Doctors.
Andrew Lincoln 1973 - Actor. Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead.
Martha Howe-Douglas 1980 - Actress. Lady Fanny Button in Ghosts.
Amy Winehouse 1983 - Singer/songwriter. A clip? But, of course. Here’s Back to Black.
Alex Clare 1985 - Singer/songwriter. Have another clip. Here’s Too Close.
Steven Naismith 1986 - Fitba guy.
Paul Brannigan 1986 - Actor. Robbie in The Angels’ Share.
Jessica Brown Findlay 1988 - Actress. Lady Sybil Branson in Downton Abbey.
Lolly Adefope 1990 - Actress. Kitty in Ghosts.
Dominic Solanke 1997 - Footy bloke.
Ethan Ampadu 2000 - Pêl-droediwr.
Now then, what about the 21st of September?
John McAdam 1756 - Engineer and road builder.
Joseph Armstrong 1816 - Locomotive engineer.
H.G. Wells 1866 - Orfer.
Gustav Holst 1874 - Composer. Shall we have a wee bit cult’yer? Here’s a piece you might know, Nimrod.
Learie Constantine 1900 - Crickety bloke.
Nigel Stock 1919 - Actor. Flt. Lt. Dennis Cavendish ‘The Surveyor’ in The Great Escape.
Jimmy Young 1921 - Singer and DJ. Would you like a clip? Yes? Here we jolly well go. Here's Unchained Melody. If only would-be karaoke singers had heard that before the Righteous Brothers’ version... It would have saved the vocal chords of the singers and the eardrums of the unfortunate listeners.
Dawn Addams 1930 - Actress. Georgie Thompson in Father, Dear Father.
Bob Stokoe 1930 - Footy bloke.
Shirley Conran 1932 - Orfer.
Jimmy Armfield 1935 - Footy bloke.
Bobby Tench 1944 - Musician. Let’s have a clip from his band Hummingbird. Here’s Music Flowing. Funkeh!
Keith Harris 1947 - A not very good ventriloquist.
Rupert Hine 1947 - Musician. Would you like a clip of his solo work? Course you would. Here’s Eleven Faces.
Charles Clarke 1950 - Politician.
Dave Gregory 1952 - Musician. A bit of XTC. Shall we have a clip? Yes, let’s. Here’s The Disappointed.
Phil ‘Philthy Animal’ Taylor 1954 - Musician. Drummer with Motörhead. Another clip? Why, soitenly. Here’s No Class.
Simon Mayo 1958 - Broadcaster.
Corinne Drewery 1959 - Singer. She was vocalist with Swing Out Sister. Would you like a clip? Here’s Surrender.
Nick Knowles 1962 - TV presenter.
Liam Gallagher 1972 - Musician and songwriter, it says here. Have a clip. Here’s Some Might Say.
Keith Lasley 1979 - Fitba guy. Ex-Motherwell, you know.
James Allen 1979 - Musician. Frontman of Glasvegas. Would you like another clip? Of course you would. Here’s Flowers & Football Tops.
Jack Ryder 1981 - Actor. Jamie Mitchell in Eastenders. You slaaaag!
Ryan Hawley 1985 - Actor. Robert Sugden in Emmerdale.
Ben Mee 1989 - Footy bloke.
I’ve received a letter...
Dear (the late) Grambly Young,
It was interesting to hear you singing Unchained Melody in a style so different from the version associated with the Righteous Brothers. I believe it even reached number one. Tell me, what was your first top ten hit song?
Eternally yours,
.....oooOooo.....
Gramble time...
How did our last bet with Korblades fare? We won. Really. We actually made a profit. Yay! We got £4.26 back from our £2.20. Brilliant! What happened? Read on...
Barrow vs Swindon - Home win
Result - Barrow 1 Swindon 1
Ooh! ’It the woodwork!
Danny Butterworth scored a 98th-minute equaliser to earn Swindon a dramatic 1-1 draw at Barrow after makeshift keeper Rory Feely threatened to become the Cumbrians unlikely hero.
Without a recognised substitute keeper on the bench, Feely took over the gloves after Paul Farman’s 42nd-minute sending off for handball.
Swindon, also reduced to 10 men after Harry Smith’s second-half dismissal for violent conduct, looked set to suffer an embarrassing defeat.
Instead Butterworth, with almost the last kick of the game, tried his luck from 30 yards and saw the ball elude Feely’s despairing dive.
Until then Swindon, still without a win this season, only occasionally tested the usual right-back, who was equal to efforts from Paul Glatzel and Butterworth.
Barrow’s task eased after 65 minutes when referee Zac Kennard-Kettle, taking charge of his first Football League game, sent off striker Smith after clashing with defender Theo Vassell.
Gerard Garner’s third goal of the season after 35 minutes had put Barrow ahead, an angled chip deceiving Jack Bycroft.
Farman’s red card for handing Gavin Kilkenny’s long-range drive, tipped the contest in Swindon’s favour but Barrow looked to be holding out to go top of the table on goal difference until Butterworth’s heartbreaker.
Doncaster vs Gillingham - Home win
Result - Doncaster 1 Gillingham 0
Yay!
Billy Sharp scored his fourth goal of the season as Doncaster beat Gillingham 1-0 in the battle of the early League Two pacesetters.
The Gills arrived at the Eco-Power Stadium top of the table but were largely second best against their confident hosts.
Jordan Gibson twice went close for Doncaster in the early stages, with Jamie Sterry bravely blocking a fierce Jack Nolan strike in a rare opportunity for Gillingham.
Rovers took the lead after 30 minutes when Sharp hooked in from close range from a Gibson knockdown.
Luke Molyneux sent an attempted lob on to the roof of the net, while Sharp flashed a header narrowly wide as the hosts continued to push before the break.
Gillingham were stronger after half-time, but Doncaster continued to enjoy the better of the attacking.
Molyneux saw a shot deflected just over the bar and struck the woodwork with a searching cross moments later.
The Gills pushed hard for the equaliser in the later stages but struggled for clear-cut opportunities.
Cheltenham vs Harrogate - Home win
Result - Cheltenham 1 Harrogate 0
Yay!
Tom Bradbury’s stoppage-time header sealed a dramatic 1-0 home win for Cheltenham against Harrogate.
The defender, on the transfer list until last week, nodded in Luke Young’s free-kick in the second minute of added time to end a run of three straight league defeats for Michael Flynn’s side.
Harrogate were the better side in the first half, with home goalkeeper Owen Evans saving well from James Daly after a mistake from Sam Stubbs in the sixth minute.
Sam Folarin headed wide in the 11th minute and Ellis Taylor’s shot was blocked in the box after a dangerous ball in from Dean Cornelius was not dealt with by the home defence.
Cheltenham improved in the second half, with Harrison Sohna forcing James Belshaw into a diving save in the 53rd minute.
But a free-kick from Taylor crashed against the bar in the 76th minute with Evans beaten.
Debutant Lewis Shipley saw a firm drive beaten away by Belshaw three minutes from the end and Evans blocked from Daly before Bradbury had the final say.
Bradford vs Carlisle - Home win
Result - Bradford 2 Carlisle 1
Yay!
Andy Cook scored twice as managerless Carlisle suffered a fourth defeat in five League Two games.
Bradford were in front after two minutes as Jamie Walker capitalised on a poor touch from defender Jon Mellish to set up Cook.
Charlie Wyke had already missed a chance against his old club and Carlisle threatened again with Dominic Sadi and Jordan Jones testing home keeper Sam Walker.
Bradford and Cook could have had a second goal after 22 minutes when Richie Smallwood’s free-kick found him unmarked in front of goal. But Cook headed sideways and Olly Sanderson fired over the bar.
The lively first half continued as Mellish made a crucial block to deny another Sanderson shot after the on-loan Fulham striker had burst into the box.
Wyke hit the post for Carlisle before they levelled through Harrison Neal as Walker fumbled his high flick into the net.
Lewis pulled off a double save from Cook and Sanderson but Cook headed Bradford back in front from Tyreik Wright’s cross.
Crewe vs Morecambe - Home win
Result - Crewe 1 Morecambe 0
Yay!
A Kane Hemmings penalty earned Crewe their first home league win since March as they edged out struggling Morecambe 1-0.
Hemmings’ spot-kick just before the interval and an improved second-half display gave the Railwaymen their second win of the campaign against a Shrimps side who have yet to score in the league this term and have lost all their five games 1-0.
Both sides struggled to make their mark in a first-half lacking creativity.
Morecambe mustered a tame effort from Callum Jones which the midfielder dragged well wide and Jordan Slew saw a powerful strike blocked.
Crewe were given a helping hand by defender Jamie Stott, who tugged on the shirt of Hemmings as the striker edged ahead of him on to a loose ball inside the box.
Hemmings stepped up to send Stuart Moore the wrong way with the resulting penalty in the 43rd minute.
Shortly after the restart another unforced error could have seen Morecambe level.
On-loan Aston Villa goalkeeper Filip Marschall’s heavy touch on a through-ball left Luke Hendrie sizing up the top corner, but the full-back smashed his volley wide.
Hemmings was looking for his second when he stepped up the pace and drove a low shot across the face of goal.
The veteran striker was the main attacking threat on the pitch and he forced a low save out of Moore with a free kick from the edge of the box.
Morecambe pressed hard in the closing stages and Marschall rescued Crewe with a reaction save to keep out Lee Angol’s first-time effort from inside the box before getting behind Adam Lewis’ angled drive.
Match reports supplied by PA Media.
Right. That was a good showing from The Grambler, but can he/she/it keep it up, or even improve on it? Let’s have a look at this week’s predictions...
Game - Result - Odds
Aston Villa vs Wolves - Home win - 11/20
Southampton vs Ipswich - Home win - 5/4
Burnley vs Portsmouth - Home win - 10/21
Bristol City vs Oxford - Home win - 3/4
Luton vs Sheffield Wednesday - Home win - 10/11
The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping
£9.78
Hmm... not whopping at all.
.....oooOooo.....
Teaser time...
Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.
1. Who am I?
I was born in Barcelona in 1995. I began my Senior career at Blackburn Rovers in 2014. I was briefly loaned out to Southport at the start of my career. In 2019, I moved to Brentford. In 2023, I was loaned out to Arsenal and this season, the move has been made permanent with Arsenal paying £27 million to sign me.
Answer - David Raya
2. You may have seen Erling Haaland score his second hat-trick of the season last week, matching his total for the whole of last season, so, here’s the question: who has scored the most hat tricks in a single season?
Answer - Alan Shearer with five. Although, if we were to look at football worldwide, five players have scored nine hat tricks in a single year - Arman Kamanyan, Ara Hakobyan, Cristiano Ronaldo [There’s a surprise. - Ed.], Lionel Messi [There’s another. - Ed.] and Ali Ashfaq.
3. Which Finnish player has made the most Premier League appearances?
Answer - Jussi Jääskeläinen
4. Which club plays its home games at Portman Road?
Answer - Ipswich Town
5. A daft one to finish. What links these clubs? AFC Bournemouth, Ajax, Barnsley, Bristol Rovers, Doncaster Rovers and Pafos. Hmm... interesting.
Answer - Their club crests all feature a man. Told you it was a daft one.
How did you get on? You got them all? Well done! Let’s see how you get on this week, clever clogs...
1. Who am I?
I was born in Hounslow, England in 2000. A central midfielder, I began my senior career at Fulham before moving to Milton Keynes Dons. I then moved to Celtic and have recently been signed by Brighton and Hove Albion. Although I played in the English U16 and U18 teams, I now play for Denmark.
2. What is New Zealander, Meikayla Moore’s unfortunate claim to fame?
3. Who is the current Wales national side’s coach?
4. Which three Premier League players have received a red card during the current season?
5. Which club plays its home games at Meadowbank Stadium?
There you have it. Have fun trying to work that lot out. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.
.....oooOooo.....
Remember the serious message...
As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK
.....oooOooo.....
Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s). Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount quoted is miles out of date. The total raised for the Bobby Moore Fund now stands at...
£79,374
…..oooOooo…..
And Finally...
And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. K. Harris who provides this week’s finishing clip. Keith Harris was a ventriloquist popular in the late 1970s and 1980s with his puppets Orville the Duck and Cuddles the Monkey. So popular was he that he even had a hit record. Would you like to hear it? You wouldn’t? Tough. Here’s I Wish I Could Fly.
Ye gods and little fishes! Bad though it was, I noticed something I had never spotted before... he moves his head about a helluva lot.
That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.
Happy grambling.
