Thursday, 26 September 2013

Week 4 This has got to be better than last week. Hasn't it?

Before I begin; what about Morton, eh?  Woo hoo!

 

Right, back to The Grambler…

 

What can I Say?  The Grambler made a right old bollocks of it last week.  You are probably asking yourself ‘What went wrong?’, or ‘What is the point of all this?’, or even ‘Did you manage to sort out your tea-making facilities?’  Well, the answers are ‘Everything’, ‘To raise funds for the Bobby Moore Fund to improve awareness and hopefully one day find a cure for the horrible disease that is bowel cancer’ and ‘Yes thanks; it’s a kettle’.

 

Anyhow, let’s have another shot at this.  Surely The Grambler can’t get it so wrong again.  Surely.  Surely?

 

So by way of introduction here is that well known crooner, jazz pianist and rhyming slang, Nat ‘King Cole to start us off – Take it away, Gnat…

 

‘Grambling rose, grambling rose, why you gramble, no one knows….etc. etc.’

 

Saturday, 28th September 2013

 

Here are the five games which make up our bet –

 

Five game accumulator from all leagues

 Game – Result – Odds

 
Aston Villa vs Manchester City – Home – 6/1

 

So game number one is…. Oh no! Not them again.  Aston Villa fouled up our Grambler prediction last week by actually winning a game, away from home as well; then, blow me, three days later lose by four goals at home!  How can The Grambler possibly predict that Aston Villa (sitting at number 13 in the league) will beat the blue Manchester mob (number 3).  That’s the same Manchester mob that last week beat the other Manchester mob 4-1!  And followed that on Tuesday with a 5-0 drubbing of Wigan in the League…sorry…Capital One/Diddy Cup.  In the meetings between Villa and Man City last season Man C won both – 1 nil at Villa Park and 5 nil at home.  Although Villa did knock City out of the League, now Capital One/Diddy, Cup after extra time.  No doubt Man City fielded their reserves under 19 third squad for that one.  What on Earth is The Grambler doing by predicting that Villa will beat Man City!  He/she/it must be bonkers in the nut!

 

Oh well.  It is about random gambling after all.  Can’t say I am very happy about The Grambler’s prediction here – maybe he/she/it knows something I don’t (wouldn’t be hard – ed.).

 

Bolton Wanderers vs Yeovil Town – Draw – 11/4

 

Let’s try again.  Ahem.  Game number two is Bolton v Yeovil.  Oh no!  Not them again.  Bolton fouled up our Grambler prediction last wee… Ever had a feeling of déjà vu?

 

Okay, we all knew The Grambler was way out long before the match against Brighton even started, but this week?  Who knows?  Bolton and Yeovil are bottom of the table and third bottom respectively.  Yeovil were promoted to the Championship as Division 1 final play-off winners and must have felt pretty good when they travelled to Millwall on the opening day of the season and got a win.  Sadly, that game on the 3rd of August was their only win of the season so far.  Nearly two months on and Yeovil have only one other point on the board from a mid-September draw against Sheffield Wednesday.  What can I say about Bolton?  Poor old Bolton.  Only three points from three draws this season.  Still, it could be argued that Bolton are the better side as they have lost five out of eight games and Yeovil have lost six.  It could be argued; but it won’t be. Any road up, The Grambler has predicted a draw.  Yep.  Why not?  I’ll go with that.

 

Millwall vs Leeds United – 9/4

 

So on to game number three – Millwall v Leeds.  Leeds go down to London (sarf uh de woo-ah) to play Millwall at The Den.  Both sides are much of a muchness this season; Leeds sit number 13 in the Championship having won three and drawing one of the eight games so far this season.  Millwall have a couple of points fewer in 18th position having won two and drawn two.  In last season’s meetings between these two, victory was by a single goal to the home side.  So, with both teams having lost four games this season The Grambler’s prediction of a draw would seem to be a reasonable one.  Again, I have to say, a fair shout.

 

Motherwell link: Both teams have ex-Motherwell players in their squads.  Leeds have goal-machine Ross MacCormack and Millwall have goal-machine Scott MacDonald.  Australian MacDonald famously prevented Celtic from winning the league title back in 2005 by scoring twice in a thrilling last game of the season; the day is still fondly remembered as ‘Skippy Sunday’.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers vs Sheffield United – Home – 4/5

 

Onwards and downwards to division 1 (or 3 as it really is.  Premiership; Championship indeed!) for our fourth game in which the Blades take on Wolves at Molyneux.  And talking of onwards and downwards that seems to be exactly the direction taken by Wolves in the last couple of seasons having been relegated from the Premiership to the Championship and from there to Division one in quick succession (without Harry Rednapp’s help either!).  Luckily, things seem to have stabilised a bit this season and they are currently sitting third in the table.  And being the fourth manager in as many years Head Coach Kenny Jackett will be hoping his isn’t on a shaky nail (ho bloody ho. Ed.).  Sheffield United, on the other hand are way down at number 22 pop-pickers.  Not Arf.  So, on paper (it’s being composed on a laptop you twally! Ed.) The Grambler’s prediction of a home win would seem spot on.

 

Chesterfield vs Mansfield Town – Draw – 13/5

 

And finally Esther, we come to game number five of The Grambler’s predictions.  Down to the depths of the 2nd division (it’s the 4th! It’s the bloody 4th!!) we travel to Chesterfield where the Spireites (I’m not making this up) play host to the Stags at the Proact stadium. What a daft name!  It used to have the even dafter name of the b2net stadium until Swedish firm Proact acquired the b2net business.  Just a bit of background information for you there.

Anyway, should be a good game this one with Chesterfield sitting pretty at the top of the table and yet to be beaten and Mansfield Town – returnees to this league having won the Conference League title last season - in number five spot with only one match lost and that was on the opening day of the season.  Both teams are obviously capable of winning this one - obviously no equivalent fixtures from last season to give us a guide - so The Grambler might be right to suggest that this encounter will end in a draw.

One final point – last week I mentioned Norwich having a player with a cracking name; this week put your hands together please for Mansfield Town’s Godfrey Poku!  Actually, not even sure he is still with the Stags; he spent all of last season on loan to Southport and the last I heard Telford AFC were looking to get him on the books.  Any of you gramblers know his whereabouts?

 

Betting Odds

So there you have it fellow gramblers – The Grambler has decided.  I would be tempted to go for broke this week were it not for that Aston Villa prediction.  So, like last week I shall go with a five game accumulator and ten doubles.

 

So the odds on the five game accumulator paying out (Aston Villa to beat Manchester City - Ha Ha Ha!) the total odds are….drum roll….550/1.  Wow, what fantastic odds (he said in a deadpan way.  Aston Villa indeed!)

 

But like last week we have our cowardy bet which is worth up to (if Aston Villa were to actually beat Man C. – Ha Ha!) 143/1.

 

It isn’t going to happen.  Sorry for being so pessimistic but Aston Villa – I ask you.

 

Happy grambling.

 

 

 

 

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