Right, back to The Grambler…
What can I Say? The Grambler made a right old bollocks of it
last week. You are probably asking
yourself ‘What went wrong?’, or ‘What is the point of all this?’, or even ‘Did
you manage to sort out your tea-making facilities?’ Well, the answers are ‘Everything’, ‘To raise
funds for the Bobby Moore Fund to improve awareness and hopefully one day find
a cure for the horrible disease that is bowel cancer’ and ‘Yes thanks; it’s a
kettle’.
Anyhow, let’s have another
shot at this. Surely The Grambler can’t
get it so wrong again. Surely. Surely?
So by way of introduction
here is that well known crooner, jazz pianist and rhyming slang, Nat ‘King Cole
to start us off – Take it away, Gnat…
‘Grambling rose, grambling
rose, why you gramble, no one knows….etc. etc.’
Here are the five games which
make up our bet –
Five game accumulator from all leagues
So game number one is…. Oh
no! Not them again. Aston Villa fouled
up our Grambler prediction last week by actually winning a game, away from home
as well; then, blow me, three days later lose by four goals at home! How can The Grambler possibly predict that Aston
Villa (sitting at number 13 in the league) will beat the blue Manchester mob (number 3).
That’s the same Manchester mob that last week beat the other Manchester mob 4-1! And
followed that on Tuesday with a 5-0 drubbing of Wigan
in the League…sorry…Capital One/Diddy Cup.
In the meetings between Villa and Man City last season Man C won both – 1 nil at Villa Park and 5 nil at home. Although
Villa did knock City out of the League, now Capital One/Diddy, Cup after extra
time. No doubt Man City fielded their reserves under 19 third squad for that
one. What on Earth is The Grambler doing
by predicting that Villa will beat Man City!
He/she/it must be bonkers in the nut!
Oh well. It is about random gambling after all. Can’t say I am very happy about The
Grambler’s prediction here – maybe he/she/it knows something I don’t (wouldn’t
be hard – ed.).
Let’s try again. Ahem.
Game number two is Bolton v Yeovil. Oh
no! Not them again. Bolton fouled up our
Grambler prediction last wee… Ever had a feeling of déjà vu?
Okay, we all knew The
Grambler was way out long before the match against Brighton even started, but this week? Who
knows? Bolton
and Yeovil are bottom of the table and third bottom respectively. Yeovil were promoted to the Championship as
Division 1 final play-off winners and must have felt pretty good when they
travelled to Millwall on the opening day of the season and got a win. Sadly, that game on the 3rd of
August was their only win of the season so far.
Nearly two months on and Yeovil have only one other point on the board
from a mid-September draw against Sheffield
Wednesday. What can I say about Bolton ? Poor old Bolton . Only three points from three draws this
season. Still, it could be argued that
Bolton are the better side as they have lost five out of eight games and Yeovil
have lost six. It could be argued; but it won’t be. Any road up, The Grambler has
predicted a draw. Yep. Why not?
I’ll go with that.
Millwall vs Leeds United – 9/4
So on to game number three –
Millwall v Leeds . Leeds
go down to London (sarf uh de woo-ah) to play Millwall at The Den. Both sides are much of a muchness this
season; Leeds sit number 13 in the Championship having won three
and drawing one of the eight games so far this season. Millwall have a couple of points fewer in 18th
position having won two and drawn two. In
last season’s meetings between these two, victory was by a single goal to the
home side. So, with both teams having
lost four games this season The Grambler’s prediction of a draw would seem to
be a reasonable one. Again, I have to
say, a fair shout.
Motherwell link: Both teams have ex-Motherwell players in their squads. Leeds have
goal-machine Ross MacCormack and Millwall have goal-machine Scott
MacDonald. Australian MacDonald famously
prevented Celtic from winning the league title back in 2005 by scoring twice in
a thrilling last game of the season; the day is still fondly remembered as
‘Skippy Sunday’.
Onwards and downwards to
division 1 (or 3 as it really is.
Premiership; Championship indeed!) for our fourth game in which the
Blades take on Wolves at Molyneux. And
talking of onwards and downwards that seems to be exactly the direction taken
by Wolves in the last couple of seasons having been relegated from the
Premiership to the Championship and from there to Division one in quick
succession (without Harry Rednapp’s help either!). Luckily, things seem to have stabilised a bit
this season and they are currently sitting third in the table. And being the fourth manager in as many years
Head Coach Kenny Jackett will be hoping his isn’t on a shaky nail (ho bloody
ho. Ed.). Sheffield United, on the other
hand are way down at number 22 pop-pickers.
Not Arf. So, on paper (it’s being
composed on a laptop you twally! Ed.) The Grambler’s prediction of a home win
would seem spot on.
And finally Esther, we come
to game number five of The Grambler’s predictions. Down to the depths of the 2nd division (it’s
the 4th! It’s the bloody 4th!!) we travel to Chesterfield where the Spireites (I’m not making this up) play
host to the Stags at the Proact stadium. What a daft name! It used to have the even dafter name of the
b2net stadium until Swedish firm Proact acquired the b2net business. Just a bit of background information for you
there.
Anyway, should be a good game
this one with Chesterfield sitting pretty at the top of the table and yet to be
beaten and Mansfield Town – returnees to this league having won the Conference
League title last season - in number five spot with only one match lost and
that was on the opening day of the season.
Both teams are obviously capable of winning this one - obviously no
equivalent fixtures from last season to give us a guide - so The Grambler might
be right to suggest that this encounter will end in a draw.
One final point – last week I
mentioned Norwich having a player with a cracking name; this week put
your hands together please for Mansfield Town ’s Godfrey Poku!
Actually, not even sure he is still with the Stags; he spent all of last
season on loan to Southport and the last I heard Telford AFC were looking to
get him on the books. Any of you
gramblers know his whereabouts?
Betting Odds
So there you have it fellow
gramblers – The Grambler has decided. I
would be tempted to go for broke this week were it not for that Aston Villa
prediction. So, like last week I shall
go with a five game accumulator and ten doubles.
So the odds on the five game
accumulator paying out (Aston Villa to beat Manchester City - Ha Ha Ha!) the total odds are….drum roll….550/1. Wow, what fantastic odds (he said in a
deadpan way. Aston Villa indeed!)
But like last week we have
our cowardy bet which is worth up to (if Aston Villa were to actually beat Man
C. – Ha Ha!) 143/1.
It isn’t going to
happen. Sorry for being so pessimistic
but Aston Villa – I ask you.
Happy grambling.
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