Stewart was an amazing
person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an
adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed
by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in
vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund
which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel
cancer. If you wish to donate to the
fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3
.
If you haven’t already
done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn
from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family,
even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what
you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997
He began writing The Grambler
when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a
lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish
was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to
oblige. Welcome to The Grambler, the
most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see. Read on and enjoy…
Thanks to everyone who read last week’s 30th birthday
commemorative edition. Thanks too for
all the comments made; it makes it all seem worthwhile. It is fitting that last week’s blog saw
thegrambler.com pass something of a milestone (which is not the same as passing
a kidney stone) when we notched up 50,000 visits to the blog. I said blog, not bog. It means that each week’s blog has received,
on average, almost 300 hits. Actually,
that isn’t quite true. In the early days
of thegrambler.com one particular post got hit after hit after hit. In all, nearly 1800 visits to a single
post. Strangely, they were nearly all
from Ukraine. Now, I can’t imagine these
weekly rants going down particularly well in Ukraine, can you? If you ask me, there’s something funny going
on.
…..oooOooo…..
I am a Motherwell fan. There, I’ve
said it. I may have mentioned the fact
sometime in previous articles.
Motherwell are not doing very well this season. As I write this, they sit second bottom in
the SPL. The way things are going,
Championship (that’s division two in old money) footie looks a distinct
possibility next season.
Recently, things have been improving.
The other week, on a Friday evening, would you believe, we played our
local rivals, Hamilton and, after being humped by them 4 nil at Fir Park and 5
nil at Douglas Park earlier in the season, we fans were not expecting great
things. Well, would you Adam and Eve it? We only won 4 nil.
Then, last weekend we beat Kilmarnock 2-1 and on Tuesday we hammered bottom
club Saint Mirren 5-0.
We have had little to crow about this season, so please allow me this
moment to savour these little moments of glory.
Ah, that’s better. Thank you for
that.
What is this week’s (g)ramble, I hear you ask. Well, let us stick with footie. In fact, let us stick with those who really
do stick with footie; the loyal supporter.
There are some terrific supporters at Fir Park for Motherwell home
games. Just a particular group of a few
hundred are the people I wish to tell you about.
In the stand where I sit (Yes, we sit in what is known as a stand. Don’t ask.) away to my left, are the most
supportive of fans. One of this number
brings along a drum and bangs it from the start of the game to the finish,
while the rest sing along. It creates a
fantastic atmosphere and some of the song choices can bring a real smile to the
collective faces of us quieter supporters.
Often the songs or chants are those sung up and down the country at every
ground. Any player with a name having
four syllables is bound to get the old favourite, Guantanamera. Motherwell fans tend to reserve that one for
our end of the year fixture and sing it to the memory of Phil O’Donnell who
died on the pitch on 29th December 2007 during a memorable game
between Motherwell and Dundee United.
The Madness song ‘Our House’ gets sung if our goalkeeper pulls off a
particularly fine save. It helps if he
has two syllables to his name, as the crowd sing ‘Blah blah, in the middle of
the goal!’ We don’t have a keeper called
Blah blah, incidentally.
Individual players often get their own tune. A few seasons ago Motherwell had a right back
called Yassin Moutaouakil. Guess which
James Bond film theme was adopted and adapted to suit him.
The current favourite to be given his own song is John Sutton who left us
for a couple of seasons before returning.
Maybe it was his return that prompted the crowd to sing words to the
tune of ‘When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again’. Each week, I try to decipher the words the
fans have given the song, but I can only ever make out the line that in the
original song goes – ‘And we’ll all feel gay when Johnny comes marching home.’
(Stop sniggering at the back!) For this
line the fans sing – ‘Big John Sutton; Motherwell number nine’. It fits perfectly. Somebody must work out a song and then sing
it to those around him at the ground and hope they pick up on it.
It doesn’t always succeed. Years ago
we had a player called David Partridge and some wag who sat close to me thought
he would make an ideal target for his own song.
The fan sang something to the tune of the Christmas song ‘The 12 Days of
Christmas’ thinking a play on the line ‘and a partridge in a pear tree’ would
be appropriate. The reaction of those
around him? Did they join in with his
attempt as a lyricist? No, they
didn’t. The reaction was a resounding,
‘Shut the f*** up, you w***!’ Oh how we
laughed.
As I said at the beginning of this piece, our singing support can brighten
a dull game. And so it was on that
Friday night encounter with Hamilton. Football
on a Friday night! Shouldn’t be
allowed! The first half saw no goals and
very few actual attempts on goal. It was
not an exciting game at that point.
However, our musical support brought a smile to every face in the ground
as, for twenty minutes, they sang the old Beatles’ classic ‘Twist and Shout’. No alteration to the song; they sang the
original lyrics. For twenty
minutes. Brilliant! How could anyone not smile as a few hundred
supporters belted that out as loud as their lungs would let them. It made for one of my own favourite memories
of this season. Although, admittedly, there
hasn’t been much I want to remember.
However, my favourite crowd moment is not a song. Not even a chant. Just the shouting of one word. Our captain, Keith Lasley, is always the
hardest working player on the park. He
leads by example, you might say. Quite
often he will pull off a brilliant tackle, or perfect pass. It is at such moments the singing support,
taking their lead from the ever-present drummer, shout (boom boom boom) KEEF!
(boom boom boom) KEEF! (boom boom boom) KEEF!
This can carry on for some time; well, until another player does
something outstanding, or, as is more likely, the referee makes a howler of a
decision, the crowd then begins singing an extract from George Frederick
Handel’s oratorio Messiah. Who would have expected a football crowd to
use classical music in its repertoire? They
sing a specific section of the piece; the ending of part II which is known as
the Hallelujah Chorus. What do you mean,
what do I mean? Haven’t you heard it?
The first hallelujah is the ref’s name (preferably having four syllables) -
‘Blah blah blah blah – You’re a w***er, you’re a w***er!’
Time to move on, I think.
.....oooOooo…..
Any birthdays of note this week?
Yes, born on the 11th of April were Frederick I 1370 (Known
as the Warlike. So, not an actual war,
just like a war), Joel Gray 1932 (Willkommen, bienvenu, welcome), Stuart
Adamson 1958 (Big Country member. Yes we do remember), Jeremy Clarkson 1960
(Uhmale uhchauvinist uhpig), Lisa Stansfield 1966 (child abandonner), Cerys
Matthews 1969 (Road rager) and Joss Stone 1987 (Scented rock). There must be a few tunes available from that
lot that might lend themselves to a bit of gramblerising…
Been around the world
and I, I, I, I can't find my grambler
I don't know when, I don't know why, why he/she/it’s gone away
And I don't know where he/she/it can be, my grambler
But I'm gonna find him/her/it.
I don't know when, I don't know why, why he/she/it’s gone away
And I don't know where he/she/it can be, my grambler
But I'm gonna find him/her/it.
…..oooOooo…..
So how did The Grambler’s predictions fare last week? Did any of our bets win? Yes.
Did any of our bets lose?
Yes. From our £2.20 stake, we got
a return of £1.93. Hmm. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp
stick. Who came up with that as a
comparison for anything? Anyway, the
thing is […What I really mean. Elton
John, Your Song. Do I win a tenner? –
Ed.] we still lost 27 pees. What
happened? Read on…
Swansea vs Hull – Prediction Home
win
Result – Swansea 3 Hull 1
Yay!
Bafetimbi Gomis (cracking
name of the week, I think) struck twice as Swansea City Hull City
Ki Sung-yueng fired the Swans in front from close range
before Gomis' acrobatic volley doubled their lead.
Paul McShane's finish after a Jake Livermore free-kick gave
the Tigers hope but David Meyler was sent off soon after for a high tackle on
Kyle Naughton.
Gomis' stoppage-time strike sealed the three points for Swansea
Hibernian vs Queen of the South –
Prediction Home win
Result – Hibs 0 Queen of the
South 1
Boo!
The visitors had the better of the first half, without
being able to open the scoring.
However, Mark Durnan netted from close range early in the
second period to give Queens the advantage.
Hibs tried to respond without success, Dominique Malonga
having a header saved by Zander Clark.
Stenhousemuir vs Forfar –
Prediction Away win
Result – Stenhousemuir 1 Forfar 3
Yay!
Stenny took the lead when Colin McMenamin fired home from
inside the six-yard box just after half-time.
However, Anthony Marenghi was sent off for a second booking
and Forfar took advantage when Martyn Fotheringham struck low past Greg
Fleming.
Fotheringham converted Gavin Swankie's pass before the
latter also netted.
Stranraer vs Ayr – Prediction Home
win
Result – Stranraer 1 Ayr 0
Yay!
Aitken also struck against the post before Craig Malcolm
lobbed Hutton to break the deadlock.
And keeper David Mitchell maintained Stranraer's
advantage by saving from Jordan Preston.
Arbroath vs Annan Athletic –
Prediction Home win
Result – Arbroath 1 Annan 1
Ooh! ‘It the bar.
Arbroath struggled early on and fell behind early in
the second half.
Annan, who earlier hit the post through Stuart McColm
got ahead when Kenneth Mackay poked the ball under the onrushing Marc McCallum.
But Simon Murray found space in the box to level for
the home side
Okay, that was what happened last week; what has The
Grambler chosen for us this week? From
the 58 senior games taking place this week on Saturday the 11th of
April at 3pm he/she/it has chosen…
Game – Result – Odds
There we have it my little gramblerinis. The Grambler has randomly chosen, the bets
(10 x 20 pees doubles plus 1 x 20 pees accumulator) are on and, if all
predictions are correct, there will be…
£15.70
…winging its way to the Bobby Moore Fund. Will it happen? Will it fu… I doubt it. Four aways out of five? Hmm.
…..oooOooo…..
What about the
teaser, you ask. Yes, if you remember,
there was no teaser last week so here is the answer to the poser I put to you a
fortnight ago. I asked you why Swindon
Town is unique and why is mackerel significant.
It’s a bit like Hull City being unique because you can’t colour in any
of the letters, I’m afraid. Swindon Town
is the only club in the English and Scottish senior leagues whose name does not
contain any letters from the word mackerel.
Was that a groan I heard?
What about a
teaser for this week? Only four teams
have won the English top league title three times in a row. Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool are
three; which is the fourth club to hold the honour? A good one to ask down the pub. Answer next week.
…..oooOooo…..
For the last few
weeks I have finished with a mention of the main reason for continuing to
publish this blog. I’m going to do it yet
again. Yes, we have raised a goodly sum
for the Bobby Moore Fund – last week the total was sitting at £22,620.07 and a
few more donations have gone in this week, but the blog is mainly about raising
awareness of bowel cancer. There is an
advertising campaign which tries to persuade people over 50 to take the time to
do a simple 2 yearly test which could signify the early symptoms of bowel
cancer. What the advert does not do is
point out that young people can also fall victim to the disease. Stewart was 26 when he was diagnosed; an age
where no testing is considered appropriate.
If you have any
bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for
bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just
point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign .
…..oooOooo…..
And finally,
Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted
to a Mr N. Nosworthy for an excuse to give you, once again, a link to what I
consider to be one of the best crowd chants ever… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8WCnoAijQ4
Happy grambling.
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