Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.
Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).
If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997
Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…
Story Time 1
This isn’t a (g)ramble, but an explanation why your favourite ill-informed blog has been posted missing for a few weeks. Well, two weeks. The reason is that Mrs G and I have been very busy raising funds for The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside Fund (link above). Over the past few weeks we have been involved in two Singalongabingo nights, we have been distributing our annual festive Family Fortunes/Feud quiz and I have given a nostalgia presentation or two.
Any road up, this all means that the total raised since Stewart’s death in 2013 is now in excess of £80k. If you click on the link above, you can view the actual amount. It is such a milestone amount that we even received a certificate from Cancer Research UK thanking us for our fundraising activities. It also thanks our supporters. That is you. Without your input over the past eleven years we could never have raised so much. So, thank you all and let the (g)ramble proper begin.
Story Time 2
Here's a question to begin this week's (g)ramble... What food is shoplifted more than any other? Worldwide, that is. The answer is cheese. Why do I mention this factoid? Because I recently saw a headline relating to cheese that made me think.
It read, 'Man arrested after theft of 22 tonnes of cheese'.
Unfortunately, it was on my phone that I read it and when I later searched for the story relating to the headline, it had gone.
Was it real? Was it a joke?
If it was a genuine news story, it begs the question, what the blibbing flip is that all about. How does one person manage to steal that amount of anything? I'm guessing he stole a lorry load of the stuff and wasn't just going back and forward with a wheelbarrow hundreds of times.
Maybe he had been stealing it over a long time period. Perhaps he worked in a cheese factory and half inched a few pounds on a daily basis. But 22 tonnes? Surely not.
It also makes me wonder how he was planning to sell on that amount of cheese. He can't exactly have been going round friends and family, not with 22 tonnes to shift.
Supermarkets? Perhaps he was a regular supplier to the likes of Tecso and Morsirons.
Whatever the story was, I'm guessing it all went belly up and he was caught red (Leicester) handed.
I do have another theory. There was no description of the miscreant (That's a good word. Wonder what it means.).
Who do you know who really really loves cheese? Someone who could make some sort of machinery to assist with stealing it. Someone who wears the same green sleeveless pullover, white shirt and red tie at all times. Someone who has a dog that is smarter than he is.
It's obvious when you think about it. Wallace and Gromit. Who else?
Stealing odd items is nothing new. I used to occasionally give a lift to a guy at work. He was known to be somebody who would nick anything if it wasn't nailed down. But he was a lovable rogue; you couldn't help but smile at some of his antics.
He would bring a huge rucksack into work, which held nothing more than his sandwiches. However, it was always bulging at going home time.
I have no idea what he needed all this plunder for. He wasn’t selective; he’d just lift anything that happened to be lying around. His view seemed to be that if nobody was using a given item, be it a length of string or a box of screws, it was ownerless and therefore his for the taking.
One occasion, he wanted to give me something for giving him a lift. What do you think that might be? Money? Nope. A bottle of wine, perhaps? Nope. He gave me an unlabelled, half empty tin of white paint that he had nicked. Gee, thanks.
I recall another occasion when he turned up for work carrying two enormous trays of bedding plants. I assumed he was a keen gardener. Perhaps he had too many plants and had brought these in to give to anyone who wanted them.
Well, he was certainly giving them away, but they weren't really his to hand out.
It transpired that he hadn't grown them or bought them. In his usual manner, he had nicked them. On his way to work that day, he happened to pass a house and these were in the garden, obviously ready to be planted. Well, they weren't nailed down so...
It reminds me of a story I heard many years ago of the chap who used to leave the factory where he worked pushing a wheelbarrow. Every night, the security guard at the gate would
check through the things he had in the barrow to see if he was stealing anything. No, everything was always fine.
After a while, he was found out. He was actually stealing wheelbarrows.
Apocryphal, perhaps, but a good story all the same.
.....oooOooo.....
Birthday honours...
Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we? Were any famous or not so well-known individuals born on the 9th of November? Of course there were. Here are some that even I have heard of.
1841 King Edward VII - The well-known potato king.
Jack Scott 1923 - TV meteorologist. [I thought he was a weatherman. - Ed.]
Johnny Beattie 1926 - Comedian, it says here.
Eric Thompson 1929 - Actor, TV presenter and director. Famous for producing The Magic Roundabout. Emma’s dad.
Robert Gillespie 1933 - Jobbing actor. Dudley Rush in Keep It in the Family.
Roger McGough 1937 - Writer and poet who also had a few hit records with Scaffold. Shall we have clip? Yes, we shall. Do you remember this one? Do you see what I did there?
Willie MacPherson (Known professionally as Bill Martin) 1938 - Songwriter. With Phil Coulter wrote such well-known songs as Puppet on a String, Congratulations and this song for the Bay City Rollers, Saturday Night. Factoid: That song was never released as a single in the UK but provided the band with their only US chart topper.
David Constant 1941 - Crickety umpiry bloke.
Phil May 1944 - Singer. Vocalist with Pretty Things. Have a clip. Here’s Is it Only Love.
Billy Bilsland 1945 - Cycle racy bloke. I once bought a bike from his shop. [How very interesting. Yawn. - Ed.]
Michael J. Mullins 1953 - Singer. He was a vocalist with Modern Romance. Remember them? No? Well, you’re getting a clip, anyway. Here’s the band’s biggest hit, Best Years of Our Life.
Karen Dotrice 1955 - Retired actress. She began her film acting career aged eight in Disney’s The Three Lives of Thomasina before the role she is perhaps best remembered for, Jane Banks in Mary Poppins. Daughter of Roy and sister of Michelle.
Andy Kershaw 1959 - Broadcaster.
Tony Slattery 1959 - Comedian.
Jill Dando 1961 - TV presenter.
Bryn Terfel 1965 - Sylwedd. That is your actual Welsh. Would you like a clip? No? well, you’re getting one. Here’s Land of My Fathers. Or Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau, if you want the proper title, boyo.
Steve Agnew 1965 - Footy bloke.
Angela Barnes 1976 - Comedienne.
Finn Cole 1995 - Actor. Michael Gray in Peaky Blinders.
That’s the 9th, what about the 16th?
Oswald Mosley 1896 - Fascist.
Thomas ‘Tommie’ Connor 1904 - Songwriter. He wrote a couple of very famous Christmas songs: the mawkish The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot and this one, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus recorded by 13 year old Jimmy Boyd.
Eddie Chapman 1914 - Wartime spy. Known as Agent Zigzag.
Kenneth Watson 1931 - Jobbing actor. Brian Blair in Take the High Road.
Michael Billington 1939 - Author and arts critic.
Willie Carson 1942 - Horse ridery bloke.
Colin Harvey 1944 - Footy bloke.
Peter McCloy aka The Girvan Lighthouse 1946 - Fitba Guy. Ex-Motherwell, you know.
Bobby Kerr 1947 - Fitba guy.
Hugh Sproat 1952 - Fitba guy. Ex-Motherwell, too.
Griff Rhys Jones 1953 - Comedian.
Lorraine Heggessey 1956 - TV executive. The first female controller of BBC1.
Ellen Thomas 1956 - Actress. Violet Butterfield in Mrs Harris Goes to Paris.
Frank Bruno 1961 - Boxery bloke, know what I mean.
Gary ‘Mani’ Mounfield 1962 - Musician. Bassist with The Stone Roses and Primal Scream. A clip? I reckon that’s possible. Here’s The Stone Roses’ best performing single, Love Spreads.
Steve Bould 1962 - Footy bloke.
Mark Benton 1965 - Actor. Frank Hathaway in Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators. Shakespeare & Hathaway... Oh how we laughed.
Daniel P. Carter 1974 - Musician. He was bassist the band A during their most successful years. Another clip? Of course. Here’s a jolly toon, Sing Along. You won't believe the problems I had finding that on Ya Tube.
Paul Scholes 1974 - Footy bloke.
Danny Wallace 1976 - Broadcaster, comedian, writer, filmmaker and actor. In fact, a right old etc..
Gary Naysmith 1978 - Fitba guy.
Gemma Atkinson 1984 - Actress. Lisa Hunter in Hollyoaks and its various spin-offs.
Tony Ralston 1998 - Fitba guy.
And now, please welcome famous and not-so-famous folk born on the 23rd of November.
Bill Pratt aka Boris Karloff 1887 - Actor. Imhotep in The Mummy.
Nigel Tranter 1909 - Author.
Roger Avon 1914 - Jobbing actor. 158 credits on IMDb. Often played unnamed characters in comedy shows. He seemed especially popular as someone to play a policeman; 31 appearances as such. There may have been more, 22 credits give no information relating to his acting role.
Michael Gough 1916 - Actor. Alfred in the four Batman films made between 1989 and 1997. 207 credits on IMDb. Take that, Avon!
John Cole 1927 - Journalist and broadcaster.
Richie Barker 1939 - Footy bloke, me duck.
Alan Mullery 1941 - Footy bloke.
Sue Nicholls 1943 - Actress. Audrey Roberts in Coronation Street.
Tony Pond 1945 - Rally drivery bloke.
Diana Quick 1946 - Actress. Julia Mottram/Flyte in Brideshead Revisited.
Frank Worthington 1948 - Footy bloke.
Sandra Stevens 1949 - Singer. She was one-quarter of Brotherhood of Man. Time for a clip. Here’s Angelo.
Christopher Knight 1950 - Author.
David Rappaport 1951 - Actor. Randall in Time Bandits.
Ross Brawn 1954 - Motor engineer who founded his own F1 team.
Jimmy Hibbert 1956 - Actor. Although he has appeared in several TV shows, he tends to work more as a voice actor. Augustus P. Crumhorn III in the original Danger Mouse.
Max Caulfield 1959 - Actor. Miles Colby in Dynasty and The Colbys.
Chris Bostock 1962 - Jobbing musician playing bass and keyboards (though not simultaneously). Has been part of (or has worked with) Subway Sect, JoBoxers, Spear of Destiny, Dave Stewart & The Spiritual Cowboys, The Style Council, Shakespears Sister, The X-Certs, The Stingrays, Savage World, Clint Bradley, Amina, The Rhythm Sisters and Johnny Britton. Let’s have a clip. Here’s JoBoxers and Boxer Beat.
Neil Adams 1965 - Footy bloke.
Russell Watson 1966 - Singer. Another clip? Indeed. Here’s Nothing Sacred.
Michelle Gomez 1966 - Actress. Sue White in Green Wing.
Kevin Gallacher 1966 - Fitba guy.
Robert Popper aka Robin Cooper 1967 - Screenwriter, actor, comedian, author and TV producer.
Kirsty Young 1968 - TV and radio presenter.
Zoe Ball 1970 - TV presenter and deejay.
Rick Witter 1972 - Singer and songwriter for bands Shed Seven and Rick Witter & The Dukes. I think another clip is called for. Here’s Chasing Rainbows.
Kieran O’Brien 1973 - Actor. James Tartt in Ted Lasso.
Kayvan Novak 1977 - Actor and comedian. Nandor the Relentless in What We Do in the Shadows.
Kevin Clancy 1983 - Fitba ref.
Brian Graham 1987 - Fitba guy.
Isabel Hodgins 1993 - Actress. Victoria Sugden/Barton in Emmerdale.
James Maddison 1996 - Footy bloke.
Nicky McDonald 1996 - Singer. Another clip? Why not. Here’s Answerphone.
I’ve received a letter...
Dear Rick Gramblitter,
It was wonderful to hear a track from your little beat combo, Shed Seven. It seems a long time since you had a hit record. What was your last top 20 hit?
Yours multi-colouredly,
.....oooOooo.....
Gramble time...
How did our last bet with Lordbakes fare? Don’t ask. [All right. I won’t. - Ed.] I’ll tell you, anyway. [Must you? - Ed.] Yes, I owe it to my readers... both of them. We lost. Totally. Not a penny back. I am so disappointed that I won’t even go into details. [So, you’re not telling them. Ed.] No. we’ll just move onto this week’s predictions, which are...
Game - Results - Odds
West Brom vs Norwich - Home win - 19/20
Barnsley vs Wigan - Home win - 10/11
Mansfield vs Bristol Rovers - Home win - 4/5
Huddersfield vs Charlton - Home win - 4/5
Wrexham vs Exeter - Home win - 5/6
The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping
£13.32
Not bad for whoppingness.
.....oooOooo.....
Teaser time...
Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.
1. Who am I?
I was born in São Gonçalo, Rio de Janeiro in 2000. A forward, I began my senior career at Flamengo before being transferred to my present club, Real Madrid, a week after my 18 birthday for €46 million. I have been capped for my country 35 times. I recently scored a hat-trick in the 5-2 game against Borussia Dortmund.
Answer - Vinícius (José Paixão de Oliveira) Júnior
2. Who won this year’s Ballon d’Or?
Answer - Rodrigo Hernández Cascante known as Rodri
3. Which is the only Premier League side yet to concede or be awarded a penalty in the 2024-25 season so far?
Answer - Tottenham Hotspur
4. Who is the current captain of Celtic?
Answer - Callum McGregor
5. Why is St Johnstone unique in both the Scottish and English senior leagues?
Answer - It is the only club with a J in its name
Shall we have five for this week? I do believe we shall.
1. Who am I?
I was born in 2001 in Irvine. A defensive midfielder, I began my senior career at Chelsea. During my time with them, I was loaned out to Norwich City before a permanent move to Brighton & Hove Albion. In August of this year, I moved to my current club, Napoli. I have been capped for Scotland 36 times.
2. Who is the current captain of Fulham?
3. Who is the current manager of Brighton & Hove Albion?
4. Rodri is the third Spaniard to win the Ballon d’Or, who were the others?
5. Which club plays its home games at Prenton Park?
There you have it. Have fun trying to work that lot out. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.
.....oooOooo.....
Remember the serious message...
As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK
.....oooOooo.....
Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s). Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount quoted is miles out of date. We have now smashed through the 80 thousand barrier. Yay! The total raised for the Bobby Moore Fund now stands at...
£81,473
…..oooOooo…..
And Finally...
And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. E. Thompson. Eric Thompson was a jobbing actor and stage director back in the 1960s. His was an acting family; married to actress Phyllida Law and father of actresses (Dame) Emma and Sophie. Any road up, his television work at the time was as a presenter of Playschool. Like many such presenters, he moved to other programmes for kids. In his case, it was one very famous programme which made him a star at the time. That show was The Magic Roundabout. Although it was aimed at kids, it became a hit with adults. It was a five-minute long stop-motion animation which was shown immediately prior to the BBC six o’clock news, so plenty of adults were watching.
The Magic Roundabout was adapted from a French children’s programme called Le Manège enchanté created by Serge Danot in 1964. The BBC-produced version ran from 1965 to 1977. The reason for the programme’s success lay in the fact that it was never a translation. Thompson looked at the filmed episodes and made up his own storyline from scratch based on what he saw and he had a playful sense of humour. He included gags that could only be understood by adults. In the episode that I have included here, there are mentions of number 12 buses going to The Strand in London and British Rail being a nationalised company. How many children would know anything about that? Anyway, ladeez and genullum, please enjoy an episode of The Magic Roundabout.
That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.
Happy grambling.
No comments:
Post a Comment