Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.
Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).
If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997
Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…
Story time
Mrs G and I have been off on our travels again. Yes, we are very lucky. Where have we been? None other than Napoli, home of the pizza and the footy team of the same name. [Oh lor'! Another 'what I did on my holiday' blog. - Ed.] And, yes, I will be all pretentious and call Naples Napoli.
Talking of footy, everywhere I looked, there were images of Diego Maradona who is revered as a god there. The only other image relating to football that I saw showed Scott McTominay with the legend McFratm, which I was reliably informed meant that he was accepted by the napoli supporters as 'brother'. Nice. Maybe he'll be the new Maradona.
Talking of footy... and this is ostensibly (That's a good word.
Wonder what it means.) a football blog... I was in a bar when the Napoli vs Cagliari game was being played.
This game was significant because Napoli had to win the game to clinch the Serie A title.
Naturally, the bar was chock full of Napoli supporters who cheered every time one of their players so much as kicked a ball. They also booed every time a decision went Cagliari's way. I think you could say they were a little partisan.
When the final whistle was blown at the end of a two nil victory, the place erupted. Everyone in the place was jumping up and down, hugging random folk, singing, dancing and waving a flag that already had the message that Napoli were champions. There's confidence for you.
And guess what... McFratm scored. Yay!
Some days later we met somebody who had been at the game and he told us that nobody left the stadium until 3am; the celebrations went on for so long.
On Monday, there was an open bus procession along the seafront. One million people lined the route. Rather than struggle to find a vantage point along the way, Mrs G and I found a small bar which had a TV screen, so we asked if it could be switched to the channel showing the parade. No problemo. So, we enjoyed the whole spectacle in comfort. Very soon, all the tables were occupied as others stopped to watch the open-top tour while sipping on a Peroni. The barkeeper should have thanked us for filling his bar, but he didn’t. Instead, he did something which baffled me.
It is said that people from Napoli have a reputation for treating a situation very differently than most and what followed smacked of that... cussedness? This very Neapolitan thing occurred after we had been sat for a couple of hours. Without us even asking for it, our bill was presented to us and the TV screen was taken away. Not just switched off, but physically lifted and put somewhere else. Apparently, that sort of thing happens a lot.
Moving on from football, Napoli is a very nice city but, as with all big cities, it is busy. We ventured into the old part where the streets are barely the width of a car. Now, I know I'm generalising, but Italians love motor scooters; they are everywhere. On those narrow lanes, if you aren't nifty on your toes, you run the risk of annihilation. Those scooterists don't seem to consider that slowing down for pedestrians might be an option. Instead, they race down these narrow streets as if anyone who doesn't have a scooter shouldn't be there. I never actually saw an accident, but I heard plenty of ambulances close by.
Like many cities around the world, accommodation is of the apartment or flat-based variety rather than individual houses. These narrow roads are no exception. Flats are probably no more than five storeys high and it was here that another 'Neapolitan' moment occurred.
It relates to scooters and low-rise flats, so it is a perfect fit for this week's (g)ramble.
Mrs G and I were walking along a narrow street when we had to leap out of the way of a Just Eat delivery scooter. Far from cursing the rider for nearly knocking us down, we were
impressed with the way he made his delivery.
He stopped his scooter and, pausing only to make a phone call, he unloaded his food delivery.
However, he didn't enter the building. Oh no. This guy and his customer had this whole operation sorted.
The delivery driver waited a short while and a bucket on a rope was lowered from the top floor. He then placed the food order into the bucket and it was raised up. How smart is that?
I'm guessing that he didn't receive a tip, though; he didn't reach into the bucket to take anything out. Perhaps tipping is not the Italian way. It wouldn’t happen here... they’d just nick the bucket.
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Birthday honours...
Rather than list all the famous people born on Grambledays (Saturdays), I thought, since it is some weeks since our last birthday honours, it would be better to just give you those that can provide us with a link. Okay with that? Good. Here goes...
Were any famous (musical) folk born on the 3rd of May? Of course there were. Here are some that I have heard of.
Pete Staples 1944 - Musician. Bassist with The Troggs. Here’s your first clip of the week... Wild Thing.
Mary Hopkin 1950 - Singer. Here’s a song written for her by Paul McCartney... Goodbye. [You can't be going already. - Ed.]
Patti Boulaye 1954 - Singer, actress. Here’s You Stepped Into My Life.
David Ball 1959 - Musician. The other half of Soft Cell. Here’s the pair’s second-best performing single, Torch.
Jay Darlington 1968 - Musician. Keyboardist with Kula Shaker. Have a clip. Here’s Sound of Drums.
Mark Morrison 1972 - Singer. Here’s his big hit, the one about him getting his raincoat back, Return of the Mack. Nice footage of Concorde.
Danny Foster 1979 - Singer. A member of Hear’say. Here’s the groups first of two number ones, the one about a daft virgin, Pure and Simple.
Michael Kiwanuka 1988 - Singer/songwriter. Have a clip. Here’s one about where his team are playing this week, Home again.
What about the 10th of May?
Bert Weedon 1920 - Musician. Have a clip. This went to number 10 in the Yuk singles chart. Here's Guitar Boogie Shuffle.
Joe Moretti 1938 - Musician. He was a session guitarist who backed Johnny Kidd and the Pirates, Tom Jones and Chris Farlowe. He can also be heard on this tune, later covered as an album track by The Who, In the Hall of the Mountain King.
Donovan 1946 - Musician. In the sixties, he was called Britain’s answer to Bob Dylan. Here is a more recent song, I Am The Shaman.
Graham Gouldman 1946 - Musician. He was bassist with 10CC but had a successful career as a songwriter prior to that. Here’s his version of his own song that had been a hit for Wayne Fontana, Pamela, Pamela.
Dave Mason 1946 - Musician. He was a founding member of Traffic. He provides lead vocals on this song, Feelin' Alright.
Vic Elmes 1947 - Musician. Guitarist with seventies’ band, Christie. Here’s the group's second-best performing single, San Bernardino. Terrible video, lads, but it's got some good cars in it.
Stuart Braithwaite 1976 - Musician. Guitarist with Mogwai. A clip? Why not. Here’s Friend of the Night.
What do we have from the 17th of May?
Sidney Sager 1917 - Composer. He wrote the music for this Play for Today. That was a trailer for its dvd release, but you should be able to hear the rather nice theme tune.
Dick Gaughan 1948 - Musician. Have a clip. Here’s World Turned Upside Down.
Bill Bruford 1949 - Drummy bloke. Here’s a clip from a Beeb Beeb Ceeb programme called Rock Goes to College. Let’s have some jezzz. Sample and Hold. Nice.
Catherine Howe 1950 - Singer/songwriter and actress. Here’s a nice song, Quietly and Softly.
Dave Townsend 1954 - Songwriter and singer. Here he sings a tune he wrote which was a huge hit for someone else. Miss You Nights.
Alan Rankine 1958 - Musician. He was keyboardist for the Associates. Here’s their biggest hit, Party Fears Two. For some reason Rankine was on banjo-playing duties on that TV appearance.
Paul Di’Anno 1958 - Singer. Iron Maiden’s original vocalist. Time for a clip. Here’s Sanctuary.
Vernie Bennett 1971 - Singer. A founding member of Eternal. Want a clip? Of course you do. Here’s the group’s first big hit, Stay.
Michael Rosenberg aka Passenger 1984 - Musician. Here’s his biggest hit, Let Her Go.
Let’s not forget the 24th of May...
Harry Parr-Davies 1914 - Composer. Wrote a few songs for Gracie Fields. Would you like to hear one of them? [Must we? - Ed.] Yes. Here’s Sing as We Go. [Ye gods! - Ed.]
Dennis Hale 1922 - Singer and bandleader. Here’s another clip for you, Chee Chee-oo Chee.
Dave Peacock 1945 - Musician. Half of Chas and Dave... And don’t ask which one he was. A clip? The Sideboard Song. [Now you're just trying to torture us. - Ed.]
Steve Upton 1946 - Musician. Original drummer with Wishbone Ash. Here’s a song from a 20th anniversary show, Cosmic Jazz.
Paul Varley 1949 - Musician. Another drummer. He was stickman for Arrows. They were popular back in the mid-seventies, even having their own TV show called imaginatively Arrows. Here’s a toon that was a biggish hit for the group, Touch Too Much.
Guy Fletcher 1960 - Musician. A Dire Strait. A clip? Let’s have the one with the video featuring cutting-edge cgi. Here’s Money for Nothing.
Ben Howard 1988 - Musician. Here’s his best performing single, Only Love.
And finally, the 31st of May...
Alfred Deller 1912 - Singer of the counter-tenor variety. Have a clip. Here’s this week’s wee bit cultyer, The Three Ravens.
Alan Clare 1921 - Musician. Here, he requests to be dropped off in Harlem.
William ‘Junior’ Campbell 1947 - Musician. Lead guitarist with Marmalade. He co-wrote many songs, including this, Rainbow. [Nice video, but where are Zippy and Bungle? - Ed.]
John Bonham 1948 - Musician. Best known as Led Zeppelin’s drummer. Let’s have a clip. [Not one of his 20 minute solos, I hope. - Ed.] Here’s a live version of Kashmir.
What a great way to finish.
I’ve received a letter...
Dear Gramblovan,
I always loved grooving along to your music, man. It was all far out and down to Earth, man. Yeah, well, it was the hippy years. The summer of love, man. Maybe that was what inspired your obsession with colours, man. Yeah? I recall your even did one actually called Colours. Wow! Then there was Turquoise. There was another famous one, but I'm so spaced out, I can’t recall its name. Can you help me man?
Yours trippily,
.....oooOooo.....
Gramble time...
Since there was no bet last time out, there is nothing to report. Even worse, the footy season is at an end [Boo! - Ed.] but we can find something to gramble on [Yay! - Ed.]. Let’s have a look... I think we’ll head to the Swedish league. All games take place on the 1st of June at either 12.00 or 15.00.
Game - Result - Odds
FC Rosengard vs Torslanda - Home win - 3/4
Husqvarna vs Oskarshamns - Home win - 23/20
Eskillminne vs Trollhattan - Home win - 10/11
Ariana vs Norrby - Home win - 17/20
Hassleholms vs Skovda - Home win - 17/20
The bets have been placed - Ten 20 pee doubles plus a single 20 pee accumulator. If the results go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund will be richer to the tune of a whopping
£12.14
One of our more whopping grambles. Will it come off? [Doubt it. - Ed.]
.....oooOooo.....
Teaser time...
Yay! How did you get on with the five teasers set last time? Here are the answers.
1. Who am I?
I was born in Lodi, Italy in 2000. A midfielder, I began my senior career at Brescia before moving to AC Milan, initially on loan. I moved to my current club, Newcastle United in 2023 for a fee reported to be around 70 million Euros. I have been capped for Italy 23 times.
Answer - Sandro Tonali
2. Which player scored the most goals in Merseyside derbies?
Answer - Ian Rush (25)
3. Which club links Alan Curbishley, Gianfranco Zola, Avram Grant, Sam Allardyce, David Moyes, Manuel Pellegrini and Julien Lopetegui?
Answer - West Ham
4. Which club has been beaten in major European Finals by Valencia, Real Zaragoza, Galatasaray, Barcelona and Chelsea?
Answer - Arsenal
5. Which club plays its home games at the SMISA Stadium?
Answer - St. Mirren
Shall we have five for this week? Yes, I think we shall.
1. Who am I?
I was born in Redbridge, London in 1999. A right-back, I have played all my senior football at Chelsea apart from a loan spell at Wigan Athletic. In 2019, I scored against Ajax making me Chelsea’s youngest ever scorer in the Champions League. I have been capped for England 18 times.
2. Which Liverpool player was bought for £8.5 million and sold for £105 million, the highest transfer fee in the club’s history?
3. Which Swiss player has made the most Premier League appearances?
4. What ‘record’ do clubs Barnsley, Carlisle, Glossop North End, Leyton Orient, Northampton Town and Swindon Town share?
5. Everton have played their last game at Goodison Park, what is their new stadium called?
There you have it. Have fun trying to work that lot out. As always, try and answer them before shouting out Hey Googly, Syria or Alexis. Please feel free to pass on the link to your pals so that they can enjoy The Grambler’s footy teasers too.
.....oooOooo.....
Remember the serious message...
As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK
.....oooOooo.....
Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s). Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount quoted is miles out of date. We have now smashed through the 80 thousand barrier. Yay! The total raised for the Bobby Moore Fund now stands at...
£87,161
…..oooOooo…..
And finally...
And finally, Cyril? And finally, Esther, I am indebted to a Mr. S. Baxter who provides us with our finishing clip. Stanley Baxter celebrated his 99th birthday on the 24th of May. Back in the 1960s, he was one of the highest paid comedians in the country. His shows were often extravagant affairs with any excuse for him to dress as a woman. I’m just saying. He is perhaps best remembered for his Parliamo Glasgow routines which I (as a youngster living near Glasgow) thought were hilarious. How have they aged? Let’s have a look. Here's a small snippet. Mmm, aye, well, I was very young.
That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.
Happy grambling.
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