Post 527 - A great big thank you to Mrs G

 Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for good. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Backside (cancerresearchuk.org).

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…

 

Story time... Not really

Welcome to a rather unusual (g)ramble for this week. I thought that, rather than the usual load of old cobblers, I would write a big thank you to Mrs G.

So, no birthday honours. No clips. No predictions and no teasers. This week, it’s all about Mrs G and her fundraising.

If you take a look at the total sum of dosh that we, Stewart's family and friends, have raised for the Bobby Moore Fund, you will be mightily impressed by the total so far... or at least I hope you will. You may also note that that figure has increased by over £3000 since the last edition of your favourite ill-informed blog.

The reason for such a big increase is solely down to the efforts of Mrs G. Indeed, much of the total is thanks to Mrs G and her terrific fundraising activities over the years.

Since Stewart, the founder of this esteemed blog, died in 2013, we have endeavoured to raise awareness regarding bowel cancer affecting young and old alike. We have also continued Stewart's own fundraising activity of supporting the Bobby Moore Fund, a charity close to his heart and his bowels.

We do have our own set of rules regarding charity fundraising. We do not hold with the 'I'm doing a run for charity' style of fundraising where people give money towards you doing something extraordinary. No, we prefer to give people something for their money.

Each year since 2015, Mrs G has held a garden party/afternoon tea in memory of Stewart. Initially, as regular readers of this blog will know, these affairs were held in our own back garden. Limited space and increasing demand meant that, before long, four sittings had to be held in order to feed almost 100 people.

After losing at least two gazebos to rough weather, she decided a different approach was needed. That approach was to a local church where she could feed almost 200 in only two sittings. The downside, or upside if you are a gazebo, was that the event from then on would be held indoors. Farewell garden party, hello afternoon tea. So, almost twice the garden party number. You would have thought that half the sittings would mean half the workload. Nope. Four times the number of people had to be accommodated at any given time.

Luckily, Mrs G is a very persuasive person and has managed to gather around her a pretty useful team of helpers who are willing to help (and look forward to helping) each year.

These events are always popular with the participants and can raise up to £3000 each year.

At Christmas time, we have our annual quiz. That isn't a quiz that people attend. Instead, it is a sheet with 25 Christmas-themed questions and it costs just a quid to enter (although most people are happy to put a larger donation into the fund). Ah, I hear you say, surely with tinternet, AI and the like, it would be easy to cheat. Not so. We use the Family Fortunes/Family Feud format of looking for the most popular answer from the first 100 sheets we receive and making that the 'correct' answer. It goes down very well and the beauty is that there are no wrong answers as such.

Our problem with that format is that it is getting harder to come up with new questions each year... so if you can come up with anything, do let us know.

I digress. Mrs G's biggest contribution to the quiz is using her persuasive powers to sell as many quiz sheets as possible.

That single quiz sheet can raise up to a grand. Last year, we surpassed our previous best with a total of over £1100. Not only that, but a generous, anonymous donor 'matched' the total. Thus, over £2300 was donated to the Bobby Moore Fund thanks to that incredibly simple means of fundraising.

You may have remembered me mentioning our Singalongabingo nights.

These are fun entertainments where up to a hundred folk enjoy a game of bingo with a twist. Instead of numbers, the bingo cards have song titles. When one of these songs gets played, everyone can sing along. Indeed, some folk even get up to do a bit of dancing.

Once again, such events can raise big sums of money for the fund. And, once again, Mrs G assumes the role of salesman (I refuse to say sales person.) and ensures that the venue is full to the gunwhales... Well, as full as health and safety regulations allow. [What, exactly is a gunwhale? Whales don't have guns. - Ed.]

So, back to the recent £3000 raised for the fund. Mrs G surpassed herself with this one.

She, and most of her acquaintances, appreciate(s) the music of Abba. It just so happens that she had been to watch an Abba tribute act and she was muchly impressed. So impressed, in fact, that she arranged for the act to perform at a charity fundraiser.

After she had made this decision, doubt set in. Mrs G was no impresario and was unsure whether she could pull this one off.

Her first task was to find a suitable hall. The Abba soundalikes had their own equipment, so sound was never an issue. However, the act was professional and had to be paid. Mrs G realised that, to even start raising money, a minimum of 60 tickets needed to be sold. Luckily, she found a venue that could accommodate up to 150. It was only after she had booked this hall that another anonymous donor offered to pay the act's fee. Thanks, whoever you are.

Her next concern was whether she could sell 150 tickets. Her worries were unfounded. The total allocation was sold out within days. In fact, there was a waiting list of about 30 people who would have liked to attend.

The evening was a spectacular success and, as happens after any of her events, folk were asking her when the next one would be.

So, Mrs G, I would like to say thanks to you for your tireless fundraising efforts. And, I'm sure Cancer Research UK (which incorporates the Bobby Moore Fund) are glad that you have raised so much to help them in their research into bowel cancer treatments and cures.

[Is that it? A boring thank you to your missus? Did nothing noteworthy happen at this event? - Ed.]

There was one moment that demonstrated just how generous people can be when it comes to charity fundraising.

The Abba soundalikes (lookalikes too) kindly donated four tickets for a future gig they were doing. They thought we could include them in our raffle. Instead of doing that, Mrs G decided to auction them. After finding somebody who was adept at being an auctioneer, the bids began. Now, I should point out that the face value of these tickets was 60 quids total, so it came as a surprise that the bids soon passed that figure. 100 was reached and the bids continued. Somebody who obviously really wanted them bid 120. Wow! Twice the value! It looked as though that bid was going to be the successful one when somebody came in with an offer of 140. Sold!

Later in the evening, the person that bought them approached Mrs G and made an offer... If the person who bid 120 really wanted the tickets, they could have them, but there was a catch. The person insisted that she would pay the 140 and give the tickets to the lady who had bid 120... as long as she paid the 120 that she had bid. Thus, £260 was raised from the auction of four £15 tickets. Brill!

[Yes, all very laudable, but where’s the funny incident to finish? Did nothing amusing happen? - Ed.]

Well, no. Not at the Abba night, anyway. However, the venue used for the event also had a public bar. Although this room was completely separate from the hall we were using, it was necessary to go through the bar to reach the loos. On my first visit, I discovered that there was karaoke in progress. No, I didn’t join in. Although I might well have been a better singer than the old guy who was gamely belting out the Elvis Presley classic, Teddy Bear.

Nothing too unusual about that. Karaoke nights attract singers of various ability levels.

Later in the evening, I had to pay a second visit to the toilet. Probably, this was over an hour later. I could not believe the sound that was emanating from the bar. The same old guy was at the mike singing, you’ve guessed it, Teddy Bear. It made me wonder. Were there no other singers that night? Had he been at the mike all night? Was it the only song he knew and he had perhaps been singing the song all evening as if on a loop?

We shall never know.

It didn’t matter anyway. It didn’t detract from the terrific entertainment that was taking place in the hall next door. And that was all thanks to Mrs G.

I’ll finish with a question for her... When's your next event?

 

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Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of (the already mentioned) Never Too Young | Bowel Cancer UK

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Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).  Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4. The amount quoted is miles out of date. We have now smashed through the 80 thousand barrier. Yay! The total raised for the Bobby Moore Fund now stands at...

£87,161

 

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That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

 

Happy grambling.