The Grambler

Saturday, 19 June 2021

Post 414 - The Grambler - insert here

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Stewart was an amazing person - A wonderful husband, a fantastic brother, a loving son and an adored uncle. He was also a brilliant friend and colleague and is missed by so many people. His family are determined that his death will never be in vain and are doing their part to beat bowel cancer for omplgood. We are fundraising for the Bobby Moore Fund which is part of Cancer Research UK and specialises in research into bowel cancer. If you wish to donate to the fund, you can via https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 .

If you haven’t already done so, please read the article which appeared in the Daily Record and learn from Stewart’s story that you must never be complacent. It makes grim reading for us, his family, even though we were beside him throughout his ordeal, or battle; call it what you will. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/heartbroken-widow-geraldine-smith-raises-3452997

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5SZQo1EW_c&feature=youtu.be

Stewart began writing The Grambler when he was between procedures and hoping for some form of recovery. He loved all aspects of football and was a lifelong Motherwell supporter. His wish was that The Grambler should continue after his death and I have been happy to oblige. Read on and enjoy…

Story time...

There are some aspects of life that are not really suitable for inclusion in a blog of this sort, Ill-informed or otherwise.

Toilet activities and problems associated with same are best left undiscussed... Actually, now I think of it, a blog about bowel cancer is exactly where you should discuss such things. Thus, it is something related to such matters that has caught my ire this week.

Constipation. There. I've said it. Bunged up bowels. It’s not a nice thing to have. And I certainly had it, last week. After several days, I was looking for a way to alleviate the problem. There are plenty of so-called 'cures' on the market. Some claim to be natural. One such makes great play of the fact that it has the natural ingredient of senna pods. I can't recall ever eating senna, so being told to consume the stuff to aid constipation strikes me as being most unnatural.

And they don't always work. Such was my problem last week. No matter what I tried. No result. After suffering for what seemed like a fortnight (probably no more than four days, but this was man-constipation; always the worst kind) I had to resort to another method. Suppositories. Yep. Those things.

Well, let me tell you, they work. And how. [Please spare us the details. - Ed.]

Okay, having gone into such detail, why am I even telling you about this particular pessary predicament? It is all to do with being ripped off.

When seeking a cure for my worsening condition, I looked on line for something that might help. Having decided against having an enema, I spotted a product called Dulcolax, a pessary which ought to do the trick. Twelve capsules with a recommended retail price of £2.99. Perfect. Off I trotted to my nearest pharmacy to purchase same. Cost? £4.99. Sorry pardon excuse me? Yes, you read that correctly. £4.99, or 66% more than the guideline price. That is scandalous. Did I pay it? Of course I did. In my predicament, what other option did I have?

And therein lies the very reason why this crooked chemist could get away with charging such an inflated price. I was desperate for any kind of cure and was willing to pay anything to get it. Blibbing rip-off merchant.

And, of course, this all reminds me of a joke...

A man suffering a similar problem visits his doctor. After examination the doctor concludes that the poor chap needs pessaries to relieve his problem. So having got said suppositories, the guy uses them for a few days and, getting no relief goes to see his doctor again. [How does he get an appointment so easily? - Ed.]

'Did the suppositories work?'asks the GP.

'No,' answers the patient, 'for all the good they did, I might as well have stuck them up my a***!'

Boom and, without any doubt whatsoever, tish!

[Well that just shows the stupidity of some people. Did he not think to read the label? - Ed.]

It was meant to be be funny.

[Nothing funny about bowel problems, mate. - Ed.]

You're right. I do apologise.

.....oooOooo.....

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or notorious individuals born on the 19th of June? Of course there were. Here are some that even I know.

James VI 1566 - The well-known king.

Douglas Haig 1861 - Poppy salesman.

May Whitty 1865 - Ectress. Played Lady Jane Stackhouse in Thunder Birds: Soldiers of the Air. Her [I thought it was Lady Penelope in that. - Ed.]

Nigel Gresley 1876 - Engineer. Had a locomotive named after him.

Barbara Everest 1883 - Jobbing actress. 118 IMDb film/TV credits between 1916 and 1969.

Roddy Hughes 1891 - Actor. Fezziwig in Scrooge. Him. 129 IMDb film/TV credits. Take that, Everest.

Wally Hammond 1903 - Crickety bloke.

Sidney Allard 1910 - Racing driver and car maker.

George Pravda 1918 - Jobbing actor. 155 IMDb film/TV credits. Up yours, Hughes.

David Peel 1920 - Actor. Baron Meinster in The Brides of Dracula. Him.

Muriel Young 1923 - TV presenter. She worked mainly in children’s television and introduced us to Pussycat Willum, Ollie Beak and Fred Barker. Ask your dad.

Sandra Dorne 1924 - Actress. Blonde bombshell type, she was often called the B-movie Diana Dors. Remember King of the River? No? Neither do I. Apparently, she was Nel in that.

Charlie Drake 1925 - Comedian, actor and singer. Let’s have a clip. Here’s My Boomerang Won't Come Back. Hmm... Proof that sixty years back, people laughed at anything.

Barry Took 1928 - Comedian and scriptwriter. Wrote Bootsie and Snudge and Round the Horne with Marty Feldman.

Thelma Barlow 1929 - Actress. Mavis in Coronation Street. Her. She appeared in over 1200 episodes.

Brian London 1934 - Boxy bloke.

Derren Nesbitt 1935 - Actor. One of those actors that seemed to be in everything at one time. Detective Chief Inspector Jordan in Special Branch. Like Attenborough and Law (You regular readers will understand.) has been on our screens in eight different decades.

Michael Standing 1939 - Jobbing actor. Arthur in The Italian Job. Him.

Paul Shane 1940 - Comedian and actor. Ted Bovis in Hi-de-Hi! Him.

Peter Bardens 1944 - Musician. Have a clip from his time as keyboard wizard with Camel; here’s Lunar Sea (Geddit?).

Aung San Suu Kyi 1945 - Myanmar politician.

Jimmy Greenhoff 1946 - Footy bloke.

Salman Rushdie 1947 - Novelist and essayist.

Nick Drake 1948 - Musician. Another clip? Here’s the beautiful Northern Sky.

Barry Hearn 1948 - Sports promoter.

Hilary Jones 1953 - TV doctor.

Moira Foot 1953 - Actress. Effie the maid in Hark at Barker and the follow-up His Lordship Entertains.

Paul Raffield 1957 - Actor. Robert Glazebrook in Joking Apart. Him.

Michael Maloney 1957 - Actor. He played Edward Heath in The Crown. Nearly up there with George Pravda - 149 film and TV credits on IMDb.

Sophie Grigson 1959 - Celebrity chef.

Paul Coia 1960 - TV presenter.

Jeremy Bates 1962 - Tennisy bloke.

Fiona Gillies 1962 - Actress. Becky Johnson in Joking Apart.

Philip Middlemiss 1963 - Actor. Des Barnes in Coronation Street. Him. He only appeared in 755 episodes.

Boris Johnson 1964 - Who?

Bozza's cure for constipation.

Sadie Frost 1965 - Actress. Did you know she appeared in videos for Gold (Spandau Ballet) and Holding Back the Years (Simply Red)? No? Neither did I.

Simon O’Brien 1965 - Actor/presenter. He was Damon Grant in Brooookside.

Samuel West 1966 - Actor and director. Siegfried Farnon in All Creatures Great and Small. Him.

M.J. Hibbett 1970 - Singer/songwriter, blogger. Have a clip; here’s M.J. and the Validators with Hey Hey - 16K

Hugh Dancy 1975 - Actor. Daniel Deronda in Daniel Deronda. Him.

Paul Parris aka Paul Adams 1975 - Actor. Matthew Pearson in Grange Hill. Him.

Robbie Neilson 1980 - Fitba guy.

Mark Selby 1983 - Snookery bloke.

Laura Norton 1983 - Actress. Kerry Wyatt in Emmerdale. Her. She appeared in 956 episodes.

Beattie Edmondson 1987 - Actress. Louisa Radlett in The Pursuit of Love. Her.

Ricky Holmes 1987 - Footy Bloke.

Paul Taylor 1988 - Booler.

Will Payne 1989 - Actor. Tony Travers in Mr. Selfridge. Him.

Chuku Modu 1990 - Dr. Jared Kalu in The Good Doctor. Him.

Molly Windsor 1997 - Actress. Emma Hedges in Traces. Her.

Andrew Scott 2000 - Footy blook. Surely nigh.

I’ve received a letter...

Dear (the late) Peter Grambledens

Though I loved your music from the Camel years, I much preferred your solo material. It was a shame that none of your albums or singles ever made the charts. I particularly liked the single you released in 1987, but can’t recall what it was called. Can you remind me?

Yours eternally,

Ian Dreams.

.....oooOooo.....

Gramble time...

How did The Grambler’s predictions fare last week? Not too badly; four out of five correct.

Wales vs Switzerland - Sat/2pm - Switzerland to win - Wrong!

Belgium vs Russia - Sat/8pm - Belgium to win - Right!

England vs Croatia - Sun/2pm - England to win - Right!

Austria vs N. Macedonia - Sun/5pm - Austria to win - Right!

Netherlands vs Ukraine - Sunday/8pm - Netherlands to win - Right!

Not too bad. It all meant that from our £2.20 stake we saw a return of £3.44. Not a lot but, a profit’s a profit. So what has The Grambler selected for us from this weekend’s Euro 2020 games?

Game - Day/time - Result - Odds

Portugal vs Germany - Sat/5pm - Germany to win - 5/4

Italy vs Wales - Sun/5pm - Italy to win - 1/2

Switzerland vs Turkey - Sun/5pm - Switzerland to win - 4/6

Ukraine vs Austria - Mon/5pm - Draw - Evens

Russia vs Denmark - Mon/8pm - Denmark to win - 4/6

The bets have been placed - 1 x 20 pees accumulator plus 10 x 20 pees doubles. If they all go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund stands to win the magnificent sum of...

£10.70

That must be a new meaning of the word ‘magnificent’.

.....oooOooo.....

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with last time’s five questions? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in 1960 in Schönau im Schwarzwald, West Germany. Most of my playing career was spent at SC Freiburg. I played 252 games for the club and scored 81 goals, a club record which stood until 2020. I managed several clubs in Germany, Turkey and Austria, before becoming coach for a national side which I have managed since 2006.

Answer: Joachim Löw

2. In the first competition (1960) how many teams took part?

Answer: Four - Soviet Union (winners), Yugoslavia (r/up), Czechoslovakia (3rd) and France.

3. Since its inception, how many host nations have won the competition?

Answer: Three - Spain (1964), Italy (1968) and France (1984)

4. Who holds the record for scoring the most goals in a single tournament?

Answer: Michel Platini - 9 goals (France 1984)

5. The oldest player to appear in the competition was Hungary’s goalkeeper Gábor Király in 2016; how old was he?

Answer: 40 years and 86 days

How about five for this week? Let’s stick with the European Championships.

1. Who am I?

I was born in 1991 in Drongen, Belgium. My senior career began at Genk, making 97 appearances in four years. In 2012 I moved to Chelsea, but was loaned out to Werder Bremen (33 appearances). I left Chelsea in 2014, having played only three times for the club, and moved to Wolfsburg. In 2015 I joined Manchester City for a club record fee of £55 million.

2. In the 15 competitions since 1960, winning teams have, generally, been coached by someone of the same nationality. Only once was this not the case; what was the winning team and what was the coach’s nationality?

3. A new award was given at the 2016 competition: Young Player of the Tournament. Who was the inaugural winner?

4. Between 1960 and 1992 a ‘Team of the Tournament’ was compiled featuring the best performing players in each position. Only two players featured in more than one such team; one from Germany and the other from Netherlands. Can you name them? [No. Do I win? - Ed.]

5. Which is the only team to feature in the final without ever winning the tournament?

There you have it; five teasers to test you. Can you answer them without resorting to Googlie or Bung (or any other search engine, for that matter)?

.....oooOooo.....

Remember the serious message...

As usual (at the risk of repeating myself), I remind you of the main reason for continuing to publish this blog – to raise awareness about bowel cancer. If you have any bowel problems, don’t be fobbed off with the line that you are too young for bowel cancer to be a consideration. Just point your doctor in the direction of http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/campaigns-policy/latest-campaigns/never-too-young-campaign

.....oooOooo.....

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4

…..oooOooo…..

[Well, at least we got through an entire blog without one of those awful dialogues between Angus and Gordon, or whatever they are called. The ones with the dreadful tenuous punchline that sounds almost nothing like a footballer’s name. - Ed]

And finally...

HAMISH: Dougal! It’s yoursel’.

DOUGAL: Oho, there’s nothing gets past you.

HAMISH: What’s the matter, man? You’re covered in oil.

DOUGAL: I know, it’s off this new bike I’ve bought from Turkey. You’ve to assemble it yourself and I can’t get this chain thing to go round the sprocket.

HAMISH: Let’s have a look. Aha! There’s your answer.

DOUGAL: Where?

HAMISH: You’re trying to get it over. You’ll never get it over.

DOUGAL: Not at my age.

HAMISH: No no no. Look, I’ll show you. See?

DOUGAL: By the beard of Moira Anderson, you’re right! Chain goes under!

(With apologies to Messrs Garden and Cryer.)

[You promised you wouldn’t do one of those again after last week’s Harry Kane one. - Ed.]

I tell lies.

That’s all for this week folks, but remember you can read the musings of The Grambler every week (well, most weeks) by going to the blog at www.thegrambler.com where you can also catch up on any previous editions you may have missed.

Happy grambling.

Friday, 11 June 2021

Post 413 - The triple crossing Grambler

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5SZQo1EW_c&feature=youtu.be

Story time...

You may have been wondering why there was no grambler.com a fortnight ago. Oh you weren’t. Well, I’ll explain anyway.

That week Mrs G and I spent a couple of nights in the delightful Scottish Town of South Queensferry. Never heard of it? Perhaps you haven’t, but I'll wager that you know its most famous feature(s). South Queensferry provides the south entrance to, arguably, the world's most famous bridge... the Forth Bridge. You know it, the one off the shortbread tin. Incidentally, that is the full name of what a lot of folk call the Forth Rail Bridge. However, to keep my pedantic mate happy, I have made a point of using the correct name.

It really is an imposing structure. It has stood the test of time having carried trains over the Firth of Forth for over 130 years. It is so ‘over- engineered’ that it will probably be there for another 130 years and more... unlike its sister bridges.

The Forth Road Bridge, completed in 1964, was joined in 2017 by a second road bridge because its suspension cables were corroding. The ’64 bridge is now used only by buses and taxis while the bulk of the traffic has been transferred to using the new bridge.

Great. No not great. The new bridge has already been forced to close during severe weather because large chunks of ice form on its suspension cables and any vibration could cause these huge blocks to fall on traffic below.

So, the original bridge is still going strong after 130 years, the road bridge lasted around 50 years before a replacement was required and the new bridge is barely finished and is already causing problems.

I believe it’s called progress.

Why am I giving you this history lesson, I hear you ask. Well, Mrs G and I must have created some sort of record in the two days that we were there... we crossed the firth on each of the three bridges within 24 hours.
[Why is that unique? Drive the new bridge, bus or taxi over the old road bridge and a train across the original rail bridge. Easy. - Ed.]

Yes, but we didn’t use a bus or taxi... or walk across, before you comment. Let me explain. [I think you better had. - Ed.]

When we arrived at the place we were staying, it was too early to check into our room at the local... let's call it ‘First’ Inn... so we decided to drive the short distance to the picturesque part of the town. Very nice. We had a nice coffee in a nice restaurant overlooking the three bridges. What could be nicer? [Yes, we’ve gathered; it was all very ‘nice’. - Ed.]

After that, we decided it was time to check in so we headed to our hotel/Inn. Unfortunately, we took a different route back and, unsure of our whereabouts, we switched on Doris, our faithful satnav. I can only assume that Doris was also a bit disorientated because, when we came to a roundabout, she instructed us to take the third exit.

As we passed the second exit, we saw our destination, but, following Doris’s instructions, we took the third. ‘What did that sign say?’ I asked Mrs G. ‘Something about buses and taxis only.’ she answered, followed by, ‘We're on the bridge! We're not meant to be on the bridge! Turn around! We’re on the wrong road!’ This was beginning to sound like a scene from ‘The Wrong Trousers’. I was half expecting her to start calling me Grommit.

Turn around, she tells me. That was more easily said than done. The road was restricted to a single lane, all other lanes being blocked off by road cones. We had no option but to cross the water illegally. ‘It'll be fine,’ I announced with a total lack of confidence.

Once over the firth, we headed straight for the new bridge to get back to South Queensferry... taking the sensible precaution of switching Doris off.

So, two bridges down, one to go. The next day we fulfilled an ambition (and ticked one off the bucket list) by getting on a train to take us across Scotland's most iconic structure. Yay!

Since returning home, we have been dreading the arrival of any official-looking mail. I had said 'it'll be fine', now I'm worried 'it'll be a fine'.

I'll keep you informed on that one.

All right. A joke's a joke, but I've been stuck up here for hours

.....oooOooo.....

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or notorious individuals born on the 12th of June? Of course there were. Here are some that even I know.

Charles Kingsley 1819 - Clergyman, university professor, social reformer, historian, novelist and poet... in fact, a right old smarty boots. Author of The Water-Babies, a Fairy Tale for a Land Baby. Also wrote Hereward the Wake.

John Sainsbury 1844 - Founder of the supermarket chain. [Which one? - Ed.]

Norman Hartnell 1901 - Dressmaker.

Rosamund Greenwood 1907 - Jobbing actress. Sister Dorothy Smith in Hallelujah! Her.

Rosalie Williams 1919 - Actress. Mrs Hudson in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Return of Sherlock Holmes, The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes and The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes. I believe she did other things as well.

Peter Jones 1920 - Actor. Voice of the book in Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Him.

Brigid Brophy 1929 - Orfer. The King of a Rainy County. That was one of hers.

Innes Ireland 1930 - Racey car bloke.

Kevin Billington 1934 - Director. The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer. That was one of his.

Tom Oliver 1938 - Ictor. Lou Carpenter in Neighbours. In 2,950 episodes!

Roy Harper 1941 - Musician. Time for our first clip this week. Here is the nearest thing he had to a hit, One of Those Days in England.

Reg Presley 1941 - A Trogg. Here’s a song that made Reg very rich when it became a hit for Wet Wet Wet, Love is All Around.

Pat Jennings 1945 - Footy Blook, surely nigh.

John Wetton 1949 - Musician. Original frontman for Asia. Here is a track that reached number 46 in the Yuk, but number 1 in the good ol’ U S of A, Heat of the Moment.

Pete Farndon 1952 - Musician. Original bassist with The Pretenders. Here’s an interesting piece of film footage, the band rehearsing Stop Your Sobbing.

James Saxon 1955 - Actor. Morris Hardacre in Brass. Him.

David Narey 1956 - Fitba guy.

Robert Elms 1959 - Writer and broadcaster.

Dave Ward 1959 - Trade unionist.

Neil ‘Dr.’ Fox 1961 - DJ and TV presenter.

Robert Smith 1961 - Showjumper. Harvey’s lad.

Cathy Tyson 1965 - Actress. Carol Johnson in Band of Gold and its follow-up Gold. Her.

Luke Slater 1968 - Musician, DJ and producer. Let’s have some early techno. Here’s Love. He also had various pseudonyms - 4 Slots For Bill, The 7th Plain, Clementine, Deputy Dawg, Earnest Honest, Krispy Krouton, L.B. Dub Corp, Lloyd Owes Me A Packet, Morganistic, Offset, Planetary Assault Systems, Plug and Translucent.

Sophie Lawrence 1972 - Actress. Diane Butcher in Eastenders. Also had a stab at a pop career with the old Donna Summer hit Love's Unkind.

Adam Kay 1980 - comedy writer, author, comedian and former doctor. His work includes Crims, Mitchell and Webb and... oh dear... Mrs Brown’s Boys.

Christina Trevanion 1981 - Celebrity auctioneer. [You what? - Ed.] She has appeared on Flog It, Bargain Hunt, Antiques Road Trip and the delightful sounding Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

Luke Massey 1981 - Film director and screenwriter. Armistice and 500 Miles North. He wrote and directed them.

Kate Bracken 1990 - Actress. Dr Greer Barrie in Killing Eve. Her.

Georgina Campbell 1992 - Actress. Lyta-Zod in Krypton. Her.

.....oooOooo.....

Before we move on to this week’s predictions and since the Euros 2020 are upon us, here is a short interlude (with apologies to Messrs Garden and Cryer).

HAMISH: Dougal! It’s yoursel’.

DOUGAL: Well, I certainly hope so.

HAMISH: Here, I like the outfit. The kilt. The plaid. The Glengarry hat with an enormous feather. Why, you look just like that famous music hall artiste... What was his name again?

DOUGAL: Lauder.

HAMISH: I said, what was his name again.

DOUGAL: No, ye daft gowk. Lauder is his name. Harry Lauder. And he always had this in his hand.

HAMISH: Oh that’s a crooked unsightly thing. What is it?

DOUGAL: Why, that’s my cromach.

HAMISH: Oh dear. I don’t like the sound of that.

DOUGAL: Cromach is an old Scottish word for a walking-stick.

HAMISH: Oh I see. Where did you get it?

DOUGAL: Well, here’s the ironic thing. It’s a Scottish walking-stick, but they don’t make them in Scotland.

HAMISH: So where did you get it?

DOUGAL: Well, I wanted an exact replica of the one used by Lauder, himself. The only place you can get one is in England.

HAMISH: Oh, I see. You had to go to England to get your Harry cane.

Sorry. I do apologise for that. It won’t happen again. [Promise? - Ed.] Promise.

.....oooOooo.....

Gramble time...

It’s Euro 2020... or 2021... or something. Any road up, The Grambler has come up with five predictions for games taking place this weekend. Head down to your local ~~crook~~ bookie and place your 20 pee bets as soon as you have raided your piggy bank.

Game - Day/time - Result - Odds

Wales vs Switzerland - Sat/2pm - Switzerland to win - 11/10

Belgium vs Russia - Sat/8pm - Belgium to win - 5/6

England vs Croatia - Sun/2pm - England to win - 8/13

Austria vs N. Macedonia - Sun/5pm - Austria to win - 7/10

Netherlands vs Ukraine - Sunday/8pm - Netherlands to win - 8/13

There you have it, The Grambler’s first predictions of Euro 2020. England to win? Hmm... The bets have been placed - 1 x 20 pees accumulator plus 10 x 20 pees doubles. If they all go as predicted by The Grambler, the Bobby Moore Fund stands to win the almighty sum of...

£9.98

Oh dear. Hardly almighty. A bit mighty perhaps.

.....oooOooo.....

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with last time’s five questions? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Strasbourg in 1949. After a so-so playing career, I moved into football management, obtaining my manager’s diploma in 1981. I managed clubs in France and Japan before moving to England in 1996 where I stayed for over 20 years. During that time I became the most successful manager in F.A. Cup history, winning the trophy seven times. Fans and media call me ‘Le Professeur’.

Answer - Arsene Wenger

2. Who is the current UEFA President?

Answer - Aleksander Čeferin

3. Which country has competed in the most UEFA European Football Championship finals since 1960? (Excluding those countries with name or boundary changes.)

Answer - Spain (11 times)

4. Who was the last Englishman to win Manchester City’s Player of the Year Award?

Answer - Shaun Wright-Phillips in 2004

5. This year’s Europa League Final was decided with a penalty shoot-out; when was the last time this occurred?

Answer - 2014 when, after a 0-0 game, Sevilla beat Benfica 4-2 on penalties.

Okeydokey, how about a few for this week? Let’s have some relating to Euro 2020... or 2021.

1. Who am I?

I was born in 1960 in Schönau im Schwarzwald, West Germany. Most of my playing career was spent at SC Freiburg. I played 252 games during three spells at the club and scored 81 goals, a club record which stood until 2020. I managed several clubs in Germany, Turkey and Austria, before becoming coach for a national side which I have managed since 2006.

2. In the first competition (1960) how many teams took part?

3. Since its inception, how many host nations have won the competition?

4. Who holds the record for scoring the most goals in a single tournament?

5. The oldest player to appear in the competition was Hungary’s goalkeeper Gábor Király in 2016; how old was he?

There you have it; five teasers to test you. Can you answer them without resorting to Googlie or Bung (or any other search engine, for that matter)?

.....oooOooo.....

Remember the serious message...

.....oooOooo.....

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4

…..oooOooo…..

And finally, Cyril...

And finally, Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted to a Mr P. Jones... sort of, because this week, since he provided the voice of the ‘book’, we finish with some Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy quotes. So, really we should be thanking Douglas Adams. Whatever, here are some wise words as spoken by Mr Jones.

'...For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.’

‘Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.’

‘A towel, the Guide says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.’

‘Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.’

‘The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.’

‘The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.’

‘Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.’

‘In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch-Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.’

Did I ever tell you that The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy was my favourite book? [I don’t think you need to. - Ed.]

Happy grambling.

Monday, 7 June 2021

Post 412 - The Grambler goes PC

Welcome to The Grambler, the most ill-informed blog you are ever likely to see.

Similarly, if you haven’t heard it, please listen to Geraldine’s moving radio interview which was on Radio Scotland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5SZQo1EW_c&feature=youtu.be

Story time...

A line from Armundo Iannuci's radio show The Charm Offensive went something like 'You can't call an asylum a loony bin any more; it's madness gone PC.' Well, I thought it was funny.

Why do I mention this old gag? The editors of The Beano have decided, in their wisdom, that it is offensive to call a character in The Bash Street Kids, Fatty. Henceforth, he shall be known as Freddie. How ridiculous. Any gags involving that character have always been centred on his greed and obesity. Will this name change mean that his overeating will no longer be a subject for poking fun at because it will offend greedy b*******?

Does it also mean that another character known as Plug will have any mention of his ugliness censored for fear of offending anyone who is aesthetically challenged?

Will Smiffy, the stupid one of the class, be re-classified as dyslexic?

Will Spotty have his name changed because the name is deemed offensive to anyone with acne?

Utter nonsense.

I grew up reading The Beano and its sister comic The Dandy and never did I think any character would offend anyone. Lord Snooty and his patronising attitude towards his ‘commoner’ friends did not affect me. Nor did the Public School shenanigans of Winker (I said winker) Watson. I'm sure I would have been as disdainful of upper class toffs whether I had read the comics or not.

Dennis the Menace getting beaten by his dad with a slipper at the end of each week’s menacing struck me as being only fair considering the boy’s dreadful behaviour. The same went for Minnie the Minx and Beryl the Peril, although I wasn’t too sure about the idea of hitting girls. Obviously, I was always a gentleman at heart. Beatings, once common in comics of this sort, are very much consigned to the history books nowadays... Or should that be history comics?

I recall a Beano annual I received as a Christmas gift many moons ago which had a running gag based on the beatings meted out by parents and teachers of the various characters.

Each character’s story ended with he/she or, in the case of the aforementioned Bash Street Kids, them being beaten violently for some misdemeanour. At the very point of the beating taking place there was a running joke which involved ‘the Beano artist’. You knew he was an artist because he wore a smock and beret and was carrying a paint palette. That, according to kids’ comics is how all artists dress. Any road up, he would appear and paint the awful expression on the miscreants’ faces. All was revealed on the very last page of the book when we see all the completed paintings, showing the poor victims of the thrashings, mounted in a farmer’s field, the joke being that such images were so horrific that even the crows were scared of them. Oh how we laughed.

Desperate Dan was similarly censored some years back. Apparently, his favourite snack of a cow pie (complete with horns sticking out of the crust) was considered to be sending out the wrong message at a time when mad cow disease was the most newsworthy story of the time. As if seeing a man eating a ridiculous looking meal is going to influence anyone’s diet! Did you ever attempt to shave yourself with a blow torch the way Dan did? Of course not. Nobody did.

Mind you, I was a bit scared of Biffo the Bear. I mean, a humanised bear that lived in his own bungalow? I think he must have escaped from The Island of Doctor Moreau. The same goes for Korky the Cat and Mickey the Monkey... although, he was obviously a chimpanzee rather than a monkey.

I also used to read story comics which went by the name of Commando. They always featured tales of derring-do with our plucky British soldiers/sailors/airmen giving Jerry what for. All the tales were from the First and Second World Wars, although the occasional earlier conflict such as the Boer War was thrown in for good measure. For some reason, the Germans only ever seemed to have the words ‘achtung’ or ‘Englisher schweinhund’ in their speech bubbles. Despite this British = good, German = bad means of storytelling, I never felt any sense of jingoism or hatred towards German folk. I also bear no grudge against any Japanese, who were also shown as being given a right old pasting. According to Commando comics, Japanese language skills got no further than ‘banzai’ which was the only speech bubble they ever got.

Anyway, back to self censorship. Another example was included in a 50th anniversary book that was released by D.C. Thomson, the comics’ publisher. During the war, any poking fun at the enemy was considered to be acceptable. The Beano, or was it The Dandy, featured a character based on a certain Italian leader of some infamy, Benito Mussolini. The Beano (or Dandy) character wasn't called Mussolini, though. Not quite. What did they come up with? Musso the Wop. How racist is that? It was subtitled ‘He’s a bigga da flop’. As the saying goes all’s fair in love and war. That obviously includes racism in a cartoon strip aimed at small children.

As I said, the anniversary book had the same character but this time he was simply called Musso, the word Wop being sensibly dropped. It still had the same strap line though, which must have seemed confusing as all the other strap lines used in the comics rhyme, as in ‘Pansy Potter, the strong man’s daughter’. Okay, that only works in Scotland, but I'm sure you get the gist. So instead of Musso the Wop, he’s a bigga da flop, we got Musso, he’s a bigga da flop.

Doesn’t even scan, let alone rhyme.

Run everyone, before Freddy eats us.

.....oooOooo.....

Birthday honours...

Let’s move on to the birthday honours, shall we?

Were any famous or notorious individuals born on the 29th of May? Of course there were. Here are some that even I know.

John Walker 1781 - Chemist and inventor. He invented the friction match in 1827 and refused to patent it thus making his invention freely available for anyone to make. Top guy.

G. K. (Gilbert Keith) Chesterton 1874 - Writer, philosopher, theologian, literary and art critic. Most famous for Father Brown, the priest detective.

Eric Marshall 1879 - Doctor and Antarctic explorer. Part of Ernest Shackleton’s Nimrod expedition of 1907-09. Part of the four man group that reached the furthest point south up to that date. Didn’t rate Shackleton at all calling him ‘the biggest mountebank of the century’.

Kynaston Reeves 1893 - Jobbing actor. Between 1931 and 1970 he appeared in 151 film or TV productions according to IMDb. Mr Quelch in Billy Bunter of Greyfriars School from 1952-57. Yikes! Leggo!

Beatrice Lillie 1894 - Actress, singer and comedy performer. She was once known as ‘the funniest woman in the world’.

Jack Sangster 1896 - Industrialist. Manufactured Ariel motorcycles.

Bob Hope 1903 - Comedian, actor, singer, dancer, author and... athlete? Really? Indeed, before he became one of the world’s most famous celebrities, Hope tried his luck as a boxer. He only fought four bouts, winning three and losing one. There you go. Educational, this is. Let’s have a clip of him singing Buttons and Bows.

Sebastian Shaw 1905 - Actor. Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. Him.

Bruce Seton 1909 - Jobbing actor. His one starring role was as Fabian of the Yard.

Ben Warriss 1909 - Comedian. Half of comedy duo Jewel and Warriss. [Really? Which one was he? - Ed.] Ahem. They were actually cousins who grew up in the same household.

Carl Duering 1923 - Actor. Born in Berlin but worked mainly in the UK. If ever a production needed a German character, Carl was your man. Dr. Brodsky in A Clockwork Orange.

Mick McGahey 1925 - Firebrand trade union leader.

Katie Boyle 1926 - Presenter. Used to front the Eurovision Song Contest whe Britain took it seriously.

Frederick Jaeger 1928 - Jobbing actor. Never famous for any particular role, but IMDb gives him 162 film and TV credits over a 45 year career.

Nanette Newman 1934 - Actress. In a film and TV career spanning 60 years, her most famous role was ‘Her that sells washing up liquid’.

Doug Scott 1941 - Mountaineer or, as I like to call them, loony.

Gary Brooker 1945 - Musician. Let’s have a clip. Here he is with Procul Harum singing his most famous toon, A Whiter Shade of Pale.

Brian Kidd 1949 - Footy bloke.

Marguerite Hardiman 1950 - Jobbing actress. Muriel in Sorry! Her.

George Webley aka Big George 1957 - Musician, composer, bandleader and broadcaster. He wrote this.

Rupert Everett 1959 - Actor. George Downes in My Best Friend’s Wedding. Him.

Mel Gaynor 1959 - Sometime drummer with Simple Minds. Here he is on Someone Somewhere in Summertime.

Carol Kirkwood 1962 - Weather forecaster.

Andy Wightman 1963 - Orfer and politician.

Steve Francis 1964 - Footy bloke, innit.

Forbes KB 1965 - Actor jobbing. Appeared in Game Still he has. A butcher he played. Uncredited he was.

Ian Bishop 1965 - Footy bloke.

Noel Gallagher 1967 - Musician. Once the driving force behind Oasis. Now fronts Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds. Here’s a single from 2020 which reached number 2 in the charts (in Scotland), Blue Moon Rising.

Shaun McSkimming 1970 - Fitba guy.

Sacha Skarbek 1972 - Composer and songwriter. [There’s a difference? - Ed.] He wrote this one which was a hit for James Blunt (I said Blunt.).

Sarah Millican 1975 - Comedian.

Mel Brown 1975 - Once a scary Spice Girl. She has had solo hits, this one reached number 4 in the UK charts... only got to number 7 in the Scottish charts.

Adam Rickitt 1978 - Actor (it says here), singer (it says here), model (it says here) and would be politician. I suppose we’d better have a clip. Here's I Breathe Again.

Daniel Pearce 1978 - Singer, songwriter and actor. He provided vocals on this, Sigma’s Nobody to Love.

Andy Kirk 1979 - Footy bloke, surely nigh.

Nick Gentry 1980 - Artist.

Adam Brown 1980 - Actor. Ori in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy. Him.

Ben Mansfield 1983 - Actor. Captain Becker in Primeval.

Pearl Mackie 1987 - Actress. Bill in Doctor Who... The Peter Capaldi one... Her.

And now, June the 5

Thomas Chippendale 1718 - Cabinet maker and male stripper.

Adam Smith 1723 - Moral philosopher and political economist.

Frederick Tennyson 1807 - Poet. Alf’s brother.

John Maynard Keynes 1883 - Economist.

Ivy Compton-Burnett 1884 - Orfer.

John Abbott 1905 - Jobbing actor. Manuel in 1958’s Gigi. Him.

Jessie Robins 1905 - Jobbing actress. Ringo’s aunt in The Magical Mystery Tour. That was her.

Margaret Rawlings 1906 - Actress. Countess Vereberg in 1953’s Roman Holiday.

Gilbert Harding 1907 - Brodcaster.

Bill Fraser 1908 - Actor. Snudge in Bootsie and Snudge. Him.

Rose Hill 1914 - Actress. Madame Fanny in Allo Allo. Her.

Laurence Payne 1919 - Actor. He played Sexton Blake in... erm... Sexton Blake.

Tony Richardson 1928 - Director and producer.

Christopher Hancock 1928 - Actor. Charlie Cotton in Eastenders. Him.

Shaun Curry 1937 - Jobbing actor. Les Pinner in Just Good Friends.

Moira Anderson 1938 - Singer. Have a clip. All together now... For these are my mountains... [That all sounds a bit suspect to me. These are my mountains and this is my glen? Aye aye. Say no more. - Ed.]

Margaret Drabble 1939 - Orfer.

Jim Brogan 1944 - Fitba guy.

Nigel Rees 1944 - Orfer and broadcaster.

Gillian Hills 1944 - Actress. Sonietta in A Clockwork Orange. Her.

Chris Finnegan 1944 - Boxy bloke.

John Du Cann 1946 - Musician. A bit of Atomic Rooster. He wrote their biggest hit, Devil's Answer.

David Hare 1947 - Playwright, screenwriter and director. Collateral, that was one of his.

Tom Evans 1947 - Musician. A bit of Badfinger. He co-wrote this famous toon. All together now... No I can't forget this evening...

Frank Esler-Smith 1948 - Musician. A bit of Air Supply. Here, they are All Out of Love.

Ken Follett 1949 - Orfer.

Barbara Gaskin 1950 - Onetime singer with ‘Prog-folk’ outfit Spirogyra. Here she sings Old Boot Wine.

Sarah Thomas 1952 - Actress. Glenda in Last of the Summer Wine. She wasn’t in every episode. Only 215.

Nicko McBrain 1952 - Drummer with Iron Maiden. Here is The Trooper.

Richard Butler 1956 - Singer with Psychdelic Furs. Have a bit of Heaven.

Stephen Pacey 1957 - Actor. Del Tarrant in Blake’s 7. Him.

Rosie Kane 1961 - Politician.

Richard Beaumont 1961 - Actor. Reg Mandell in Shades of Bad. Him.

Richard Sinnott 1963 - Jobbing actor. He has played four different characters in Coronation Street. Blink and you’ll miss him. Seems to play estate agents a lot.

Eddie Nestor 1964 - Jobbing actor. He was in Trainspotting as... an estate agent. Was Richard Sinnott busy that day?

John Marquez 1970 - Actor. P.C. Joe Penhale in Doc Martin. Him.

Susan Lynch 1971 - Actress. Stace in Save Me. Her.

Andy McLaren 1973 - Fitba guy.

Nina Conti 1974 - Gentrilokist.

Jack Ross 1976 - Fitba guy.

Rachel Leskovac 1976 - Actress. Natasha in Coronation Street. Her.

Ross Noble 1976 - Comedian.

Emma Crosby 1977 - Newsreader and journalist.

Jade Goody 1981 - Celebrity.

Marc Pickering 1985 - Actor. R Wayne in Peter Kay’s Britain’s Got the Pop Factor... and Possibly a New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Strictly on Ice.

Jamie Mulgrew 1986 - Footy bloke surely nigh.

Charlie Clements 1987 - Jobbing actor. Bradley in Eastenders. Him.

Kieran Tierney 1997 - Fitba guy.

Lewis MacDougal 2002 - Actor. Tullo in His Dark Materials. Him.

I’ve received a letter...

Dear Noel Grambleger,

It was nice to hear a track from your High Flying Birds. However, I think most readers would prefer to hear a Noasis tune instead. I was wondering, what was their first top 40 single?

Yours etc.,

Sue Personnick.

.....oooOooo.....

Gramble time...

How did The Grambler’s predictions go last time we had a bet? 52 pees back from a £2.20 stake. Rubbish or what? What happened? Here are the results...

Arsenal vs Brighton - Home win

Result - Arsenal 2 Brighton 0

Yay!

Aston Villa vs Chelsea - Away win

Result - Aston Villa 2 Chelsea 1

Boo!

Fulham vs Newcastle - Home win

Result - Fulham 0 Newcastle 2

Boo!

Leicester vs Tottenham - Home win

Result - Leicester 2 Tottenham 4

Oh dear oh dear.

West Ham vs Southampton - Home win

Result - West Ham 3 Southampton 0

Consolation Yay.

No gramble this week. Football season is over. Next week, though, it’s Euro 2020. Yay! Hang on. 2020? A year late? Something must have happened to cause that. Whatever could it be?

.....oooOooo.....

Teaser time...

Yay! How did you get on with last time’s five questions? Here are the answers.

1. Who am I?

I was born in Milan in 1968. I joined Milan aged 10 and spent seven years in the youth squad before progressing to the senior squad where I remained for 25 seasons making 902 appearances in all competitions. I was also capped 126 times for Italy. I now work as technical director for guess which club... Milan, of course.

Answer - Paolo Maldini. Factoid: Number 3 as worn by Maldini has been retired, so no other player will wear it. Although, if either of his sons should play professionally for the club, it might be reinstated.

2. St. Johnstone today won the Scottish Cup making them only the second Scottish club to win two trophies in a season (other than Rangers and Celtic, of course). Which is that other club?

Answer - Aberdeen

3. Sergio Agüero has been with Manchester City for 10 years; which club is he moving to?

Answer - Barcelona

4. What was the name of the club which won the first F.A. Cup?

Answer - Wanderers (a London club)

5. A silly one to finish. How many teams in the English and Scottish senior leagues have pairs of letters in their names? Whatever do you mean, I hear you ask. Well, take the word English; it has none. However, the word Scottish has one. Do you see? Have fun.

Answer - I make it 34... Liverpool, Tottenham Hotspur, Leeds United, Aston Villa, Sheffield United, Cardiff City, Queens Park Rangers, Middlesbrough, Millwall, Nottingham Forest, Huddersfield Town, Sheffield United, Hull City, Blackpool, Gillingham, Accrington Stanley, Fleetwood Town, Forest Green Rovers, Harrogate Town, Walsall, Barrow, Aberdeen, St Mirren, Motherwell, Dundee United, Ross County, Dundee, Inverness Caledonian Thistle, Queen of the South, Greenock Morton, Alloa Athletic, Queen’s Park and Annan Athletic. How many did you miss?

I told you it was a silly one.

What about five for this week?

1. Who am I?

2. Who is the current UEFA President?

3. Which country has competed in the most UEFA European Football Championship finals since 1960? (Excluding those countries with name or boundary changes.)

4. Who was the last Englishman to win Manchester City’s Player of the Year Award?

5. This year’s Europa League Final was decided with a penalty shoot-out; when was the last time this occurred?

There you have it; five teasers to test you. Can you answer them without resorting to Googlie or Bung (or any other search engine, for that matter)?

.....oooOooo.....

Remember the serious message...

.....oooOooo.....

Please, take a few minutes to watch an informative little video from Mersh (a great friend of Stewart’s).

Click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26HWQXMalX4

…..oooOooo…..

And finally, Cyril...

And finally, Cyril? And finally Esther, I am indebted to two Geordies who are both in our birthday honours: Miss S. Millican and Mr R. Noble. Let’s finish with a few gags from them...

SM - My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.

RN - How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth?

SM - My husband and I don't have children. We can't have children because we hate them.

RN - Should your house burn down and you lose everything, my advice would be – don’t turn to your wife and say: ‘This means that technically I’m now sleeping with a homeless woman.’

SM - I stopped buying women’s magazines. The only time I ever see someone who looks like me is under the word ‘Before’.

RN - I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping all night.

SM - My Dad always told me there’s three things you need to have in the boot of your car: a blanket, a shovel and a flask. And he’s right – because whenever I’ve killed a man I’m parched.

RN - When’s someone gonna turn round to Bono and go, ‘Oi Bono! Take those glasses off! You look like a t***! You’re from Ireland! You shouldn’t even own sunglasses!’

SM - My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape. I choose round.

RN - I had a sat-nav, after Port Pirie, and the Nullarbor Plain in Australia, the longest straight road in the world. And I turned it on and it said, ‘Drive forward for two days.’ And the next bit went, ‘then turn left.’ But the thing was… But the stupid thing was, it was such a long road, I missed the left hand turn!

SM - I read about a couple in their 80s where she died and he died soon after. The paper said he died of a broken heart. But that’s not a medical condition. I think if she died and then a fortnight later he died, it’s probably because he didn’t know how to cook.

RN - “[On self-service checkouts] What you can do is you can ‘bleep’ the stuff yourself. What I like to do is, as I’m doing that, time it to pretend that I’m on TV and I’m swearing too much. I like to go: ‘Oi, you *bleep* I’m gonna *bleep* with your *bleep* and if your mum *bleep* I’ll *bleep* her right up the *bleep* with a *bleep* and you can *bleep* go and *bleep* yourself you *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* b***ard!

SM - From what I understand about child birth, it changes you ‘downstairs’. I like my downstairs the way it is thank you very much. I certainly don’t need an extension.

RN - [On Winona Ryder claiming she was rehearsing for a role during a shoplifting trial] So does that basically mean that if you commit a crime, as long you can somehow link it to your job, it’s all right? Like, if you’re, like, murdering somebody with a hammer, if you go “Oh, well, I’m a master cobbler and I was just practicing.”

And we’ll leave the last word to Miss Millican...

SM - I’m not used to country living. Every time I see someone with a big marquee tent in their garden, I don’t think ‘ooo, someone’s having a nice summer party’. I think ‘ooo, someone’s been murdered.

Happy grambling.

Pages

Saturday, 19 June 2021

Post 414 - The Grambler - insert here

Friday, 11 June 2021

Post 413 - The triple crossing Grambler

Monday, 7 June 2021

Post 412 - The Grambler goes PC

The Bobby Moore Fund

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