Saturday 19 October 2013

Week 7 Results - Must try harder

Before we start, can I just tell you that I have today witnessed the most spectacular debut performance I have ever seen from any player.  Ever.  Craig Moore came off the Motherwell bench midway through the second half when the Jambos were one up.  He was barely on the park and hadn’t even touched the ball when it fell to him and with his first touch he sent it screaming from 22 yards into the back of the net.  First game.  First kick.  Goal.  Beat that Roy of the Rovers!

Right, to business.  The question on everybody’s lips is - Why do we care whether a panda is pregnant or not?  No?  Wrong question.  The question on everybody’s lips is – Did we win any dosh for The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Arse Fund?  Well, I can answer this question in two ways.  I could say ‘yes’ or I could say ‘no’.  And do you know what?  Both answers are correct.  You see only two out of the five predictions were correct; therefore, only one double gave us a return.  And that return was the staggering sum of  £1.38.  So yes The Grambler did technically win some money but, as the bet itself cost £2.20 we are down 82 of your British pees.

How did it happen?  Read on and all shall be revealed.

Oldham Athletic vs Carlisle United – Draw – Naw (Just thought I would revert to the original way of delivering the news be it good or bad)

The Grambler had this one down for a draw, which given Oldham’s recent lack of form looked to be a reasonable prediction, but it was not to be.  Adam Rooney's penalty ended Oldham's six-match winless run in League One and condemned Graham Kavanagh to a first defeat as manager of Carlisle United. Rooney was fouled by Conor Townsend in the area and converted the resulting spot-kick for the game's only goal.

Visiting keeper Mark Gillespie kept out efforts from Latics trio Millar, Dayton and Wesolowski.  Sounds like a firm of lawyers.

At the other end, Oxley made a brilliant save to deny Lee Miller's close-range header late on.

A frustrated Kavanagh was sent to the stands by referee Mark Heywood in the second half for sarcastically applauding a decision by the match officials.  Refs are touchy buggers aren’t they?

Former Tottenham and France defender Pascal Chimbonda, who signed a three month contract on Friday, played the full 90 minutes for the Cumbrians.  Didn’t do them much good then.

Portsmouth vs Bury – Home – 10/11 - Aye

Wow.  The Grambler got this right.  Portsmouth's unlikely goal hero Bondz N'Gala scored again to pile more misery on managerless Bury in a 1-0 win.
N'Gala scored two headers against Rochdale in Pompey's last home game and rose highest once more to guide a Ricky Holmes out-swinging corner past Brian Jensen after just four minutes.  That means he has scored 3 goals in as many weeks.  He had only scored 3 career goals prior to these and that was since 2008!
Bury, who are now without a win in seven and sacked Kevin Blackwell on Monday, had their best chance of the half in the first minute but Harrad couldn't put away a Beeley cross.
Defender N'Gala almost went from hero to zero after 27 minutes but referee Carl Berry deemed his high and late lunge on debutant Danny Hylton only worthy of a yellow card.
The Shakers, currently in the hands of stand-in boss Ronnie Jepson, improved after the break and could have been level 10 minutes into the second half but for a Phil Smith save to deny a close-range Harrad header.
The visitors dominated the second half but after Hylton and substitute Anton Forrester missed good chances, they almost conceded again when Jed Wallace hit the post late-on.  Do I care?  The Grambler got it right.  That’s all that matters

Kilmarnock vs Ross County – Away – 9/5 - Naw

The Grambler got this one totally wrong but, come on, Kilmarnock haven’t won a game this season, who can blame him/her/it for suggesting that they wouldn’t win this one.  Shock!  Kilmarnock win a game.  Even bigger shock – Kris Boyd scored.
Kris Boyd had initially given the hosts the lead, angling the ball away from Mark Brown under pressure from Michael Gardyne.  Actually, Boyd has scored before; he is just not the goal machine he once was.
Then, blow me down, he nearly scored again when another effort skited (a great word that isn’t it) off the underside of the bar.
But it was Jackson Irvine's strike from a short free-kick that emphatically sealed the points for Killie.

Thanks very much Kilmarnock!  Could you not have just carried on losing for one more game?  Do you know how much you lost The Grambler’s Kick Cancer’s Arse Fund by actually winning? No? No, neither have I, but it was literally some money.  Literally.

 Hamilton Academicals vs Raith Rovers – Draw – Aye

For our fourth prediction The Grambler gave us a draw between the Accies and Raith Rovers.  And guess what – he/she/it got it right

James Keatings put Accies in the lead with a shot fired low past David McGurn just after the half hour mark.

A second bookable offence led to Rovers defender Dougie Hill being sent off three minutes later.

The visitors came close to equalising 10 minutes into the second half when Greig Spence cut inside from the right wing, forcing Kevin Cuthbert to parry it away.

Rovers almost went two down when Ali Crawford forced a good save out of McGurn.

 However, Michael Devlin brought down Gordon Smith and Calum Elliot (Yay, sort of) scored from the penalty spot to level it for ten man Rovers.

Dundee narrowed the gap at the top of the Championship to one point with victory over Queen of the South.  Yeah, yeah, whatever.  As long as The Grambler got it right.

East Stirlingshire vs Queen’s Park – Home – Naw

And finally Esther The Grambler predicted a home win for this game and given that the Shire are at the top of the division and the Spiders at the bottom, this should have been the biggest certainty of the day

Both sides failed to take goalscoring opportunities in an open first-half.

It was the home side who went ahead when Michael McGowan found the bottom corner of Lucas Birinstinfil's (Not the crackingest name of the week, just the most unpronounceable) net on 51 minutes.

And as 90 minutes approached it looked as if The Grambler had got three out of five right and we could expect a sizable return on our wee bet.

But no. The visitors weren’t content to enable a fund set up to seek a cure for bowel cancer to receive a bit of money.  Oh no.  They had to try and score. And finally, with virtually the last kick of the ball they did score - through Blair Spittal's right-footed effort - his fourth goal in three matches. Bastard!  Oops sorry.  I’m sure he’s a very nice chap.

So Queen’s Park doubled their points tally to er… two.  Only poor old Sunderland have made a worse start to the season. I suppose hearts on minus 7 aren’t doing too well either, but at least they have won a game or two.

So there you have it folks.  Not the best day’s Grambling, but hey ho. Let’s all reconvene next week when things might improve a bit.

Before I go – Do you think Craig Moore’s wonder debut will be on the back pages of the Scottish press tomorrow?  Or will it be Keith Lennon (If I don’t see you through the week, I’ll see you you through the keyhole; I know whur you live.) bleating on about his beloved team being denied all three points by a) dodgy refereeing or b) playing against a team which played as well, if not better than Celtic.  Delete as applicable.  Well, delete b) anyway.


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