Another celebrity
arrested in Operation Yewtree*
A man has appeared in Portsmouth Magistrates’ Court charged with historic offences against underage children. The offences are alleged to have taken place between the early 1960s and the late 1980s. The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was referred to as ‘The Captain’ by those making the allegations.
The Captain is said
to have lured young children onto his sailing vessel ‘The Bird’s Eye’ as crew
members with promises of adventure, a life on the ocean wave and unlimited
supplies of fish fingers. It later
transpired that the term ‘fish fingers’ was merely a euphemism for [Stop right there - Ed]
*We have been advised
by our legal department to point out that this is totally untrue**
**As we don’t have
such a thing as a legal department, this is also untrue.
Anyway, let’s get
down to grambling matters. How did The
Grambler’s predictions fare this week.
Read on and all will be revealed.
Brentford vs Crewe Alexandra – Prediction Draw – NAW
Five nil. Five
nil! Grambler, how on earth did you get
this one so wrong? We all knew Crewe
weren’t going to take a point off Brentford, but come on, five nil. That is pretty rubbish grambling.
Granted, Crewe
went 43 minutes without conceding and then Marcell Trotta trotted in (do you
see what I did there?) to head in the opener from 18 yards. After the break the floodgates opened. Adam Forshaw scored straight after the
restart. On 58 minutes George ‘Jimmy’ Saville made it three. Now then, now then, Crewe were in
trouble. But double trouble was to
follow when Clayton Donaldson scored twice in 63 and 73 minutes. As they say in Footballpunditland – Game
over.
Bristol Rovers vs Bury – Prediction Home win – NAW
I didn’t really
think this would have gone The Grambler’s way and I was right. I did say I thought a draw was the most
likely outcome [Stop crowing – Ed]. Any
road up, it turns out I was right and The Grambler was wrong. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Grambler!
Joe-John O’Toole,
sorry, John-Joe O’Toole scored from the spot on four minutes. Sadly, dad Peter was in the bar at the time
and missed it. Shaun Beeley gave away
the penalty when he ahem ‘mistimed’ a tackle on Elliot Richards. I bet Shaun was beelin’. [Ha bloody ha – Ed] However, on 36 minutes he redeemed himself
with a well timed cross for Danny Hylton to tap in.
Ooh I remember
Danny Hylton. He was very good. What was that song he used to sing? The one about rats with big boots on. And they lived in a…what was that programme
with him from QI? The daft one. He lived in one as well. You know it.
He was a magician or something and people used to go to him if they had
an crime that wanted dissolving. It had
sails. Mice! Not rats.
And they didn’t have boots on they had clogs. What was that thing they lived in? They went clip clippetty clop. On the stair.
Right there. Jonathan
Speaks. That was the programme. And it was a windmill. Oh hang on…I’m thinking of Ronnie Hilton. [Go
back to sleep Arthur – Ed]
Scumthorpe vs Accrington Stanley – Prediction Away win – Aye!
Wow! I take it all back Grambler. You (randomly) chose well here. 7/2 odds as well. Woo hoo!
Stanley beat
Scunthorpe 2-0 (all right, nil 2 as it was an away win) to take their unbeaten
run in the league to six. George
Bowerman opened the scoring on 26 minutes with an excellent angled shot into
the far corner of the net. Ten minutes
later he turned provider with a left-wing cross for Kayode Odejayi to head
home.
Accrington’s
manager James Beattie believes there is still a long way to go, but is very pleased
with the team’s progress. ‘There’s a
long way to go, but I’m very pleased with our progress,’ Beattie told BBC
Radio.
Stenhousemuir vs Arbroath – Prediction Home win – Whahey!
You always get a
good game between these two. Last time
they met Stenny won 4-3. This time? 3-2.
Sounds a cracking game. Well, the
second half anyway.
Sean Lynch
opened the scoring on 49 minutes. Michael
Travis levelled it for the Smokies on 64 minutes. Next up, Eddie Malone for Stenny on 73
minutes. Errol Brown – surely not –
sorry, Errol Douglas gave Stenny a third six minutes later. Lee Erwin (you know, him on loan from
Motherwell) scored another for Arbroath on 83 minutes but, Stenny held on to
take all the points.
Good old
Stenny. That win gives us a return on
our bet. But, even better was to come…
Peterhead vs East Stirlingshire – Prediction Draw – Wahahaheyyyy!
And finally,
Cyril? And finally Esther The Grambler
predicted a draw between the Blue Toon and the Shire (See, I didn’t call them
the Shite). I have to admit, I thought
Peterhead would walk this, but the Shire seem to be a different team these days
and still top the table a third of the way through the season; albeit now only
one point ahead of second placed Annan Athletic who won on Saturday.
Both sides had
plenty of chances in the first three quarters of this game, but neither could
actually score. Peterhead finally broke
the deadlock on 76 minutes with a spectacular bicycle kick from Andy
Rodgers. The Blue Toon support must have
thought they had all the points as full time approached. East Stirling’s Jordan McKechnie had other
ideas. With the last kick of the game he
drilled the ball home to give the visitors a share of the points (I could get a
job as a football reporter; see, I know all the right cliches.).
So, hard luck for Peterhead, but good luck for The Grambler and the Kick
Cancer’s Backside Fund which benefits this week by
£6.72
Not a fortune, I
grant you but, by our standards, it’s pretty damn good. So all you gramblers out there in
Gramblerland must be wondering what to do with the money you have won. Well, wonder no more, the Bobby Moore Fund
will be happy to receive it from you. To
donate, just go to http://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 and
follow the simple instructions.
Bye for now my
fellow gramblers. Week 12 predictions
will be posted in the next few days. I
bet you can’t wait.
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