Sunday, 15 December 2013

Week 15 results - Normal service is resumed


Well, Well, super Well.

Well, Well, super Well…

Woo hoo! A win.  At last.
 
Anyway, you’re not interested in the bestest team in the world.  Let’s find out how The Grambler did this week.  Did we win?  Did we f… No, we didn’t.
 
Chelsea vs Crystal Palace – Prediction Away win - Naw

Chelsea 2 – Crystal Palace 1

Fernando Torres tapped in on 16 minutes to put the Blues ahead at Stamford Bridge after Willian's shot rebounded off a post.

Palace equalised on 29 minutes via Marouane Chamakh's volley from a Joel Ward cross before Ramires curled Chelsea back in front on 35 minutes.

That was the end of the goals, but that doesn’t sum up this match.  Oh no.

Cech denied Jason Puncheon, Damien Delaney and, crucially, Stuart O'Keefe as the hosts scraped to victory.  

Did you read that? 

Scraped to victory.

That said, the home side had two glorious late chances to relieve the tension, only for Ramires to miscue on both occasions.

Now you’re spoiling it.

Boss Jose Mourinho said Chelsea were in trouble after losing at Stoke last weekend, but they are now within touching distance of the top.  While it is a contrasting picture for Palace, who remain in the relegation zone, they should take heart from another encouraging performance.

Yes they should.  Cos they could have won.

But they didn’t.  Bugger.

Blackburn vs Millwall – Prediction Away win – NAW

Blackburn 3 Millwall 2

Jordan Rhodes gave the hosts the lead on 22 minutes, evading Mark Beevers before finding the bottom corner from the edge of the box.

Martyn Waghorn superbly levelled 42 minutes after good work by Liam Trotter and Steve Morison, but parity was short lived.

Ben Marshall headed Rovers in front immediately after the break and a David Dunn header on 85 minutes gave his team the cushion before Morison bundled in from close range on 89 minutes to ensure a nervy finish.

But the home team held on to inflict a third successive away defeat on the Londoners, who are now just four points from the relegation zone.

Blackburn, who look comfortable in 11th position in the Championship, scored more than one goal at Ewood Park for the first time since the end of August.

And now…The return of that irregular feature ‘Gaffer of the Week’.

First up….

Blackburn manager Gary Bowyer:

"We scored three good goals. We didn't play particularly great [Well! Well you idiot! – Ed] by our standards but we've played a lot better and lost games.

"We're happy with the character and resilience we've shown against a tough Millwall team.

"I didn't think we passed the ball well enough today by our standards. Sometimes the conditions were not great but you have to give credit to the opposition."

That should win it on clich├ęs alone, but next up....

Millwall boss Steve Lomas:

"We were the masters of our own downfall. The three goals we conceded were, I wouldn't even say schoolboy - probably Under12s.

"And that's the reason we're not looking up because going forward we're OK, a threat, scoring goals, but all season we've given away cheap, cheap goals.

"And again it's raised its ugly head.

"I can't keep saying it's unlucky. We're going to have to do something about it."

Those are his actual words, as he spoke them.  Go on, read it again.  What has raised its ugly head?  It is just nonsense.  Absolute bollocks.  So for that reason Steve Lomas is our Gaffer of the Week.

Brentford vs Oldham United – Prediction Home win – Yay

Brentford 1 Oldham 0

A stalemate looked on the cards as both sides fought out a fiercely-contested midfield battle, with clear-cut chances few and far between.

The hosts' Will Grigg had the best chance of an even first half when he clipped Jake Bidwell's cross just wide, before Oldham’s Mike Petrasso screwed an effort just past the far post before the break.

Saunders' goal-bound effort on the hour-mark was cleared off the line by Genseric Kusunga as the game went from end-to-end in the dying minutes.

Oldham left-back Ellis Plummer survived a clear-cut penalty shout when he sent Clayton Donaldson sprawling in the box with minutes to go, before Douglas escaped with a yellow card for a foul on the edge of the box as Oldham's Petrasso broke.

But Jonathan Douglas had the last laugh as he rose highest at the far post to lift Brentford into third as the rest of the Sky Bet League One promotion pack dropped points.

On 90 minutes that goal, so The Grambler only just got that one right.

Wolves vs MK Dons – Prediction Home win – Naw

Wolves 0 MK Dons 2

A poor Wolves sank to their second straight League defeat as goals by Patrick Bamford and Ben Reeves gave MK Dons a deserved victory.

Bamford scored after half an hour for his 14th goal of the season. Reeves notched a superb clincher five minutes after the break, rifling home from 20 yards high into the net.

Wolves made changes after half time with Leigh Griffiths and Bakary Sako being substituted.

Sub Liam McAlinden fired narrowly wide. Dave Edwards miskicked from six yards from James Henry’s cross.

McAlinden forced a save from David Martin and Henry fired horribly wide when clean through on the keeper. But it just wasn’t their day and Wolves could have few complaints when the final whistle was greeted by boos.

That was one of our bankers as well.  I was convinced the Dons couldn’t win.  Ah well.  Still one game to go for The Grambler to save face.  Cyril?

And finally Esther…

Wimbledon vs Mansfield Town – Prediction Home win – Naw!

Wimbledon 0 Mansfield 0

AFC Wimbledon and Mansfield played out a goalless draw at Kingsmeadow as the visitors avoided a club record of seven straight league defeats.

The Dons were on top for most of the first half, but Luke Moore failed to beat Stags goalkeeper Alan Marriott when played through on goal.

Home keeper Ross Worner produced excellent stops to keep out headers from Matt Rhead and Sam Clucas.

The Stags have not won in the league since 28 September.

Yeah, but they managed to play well enough to fmuck up The Grambler for this week.  That was another banker.

Oh well, back to the grambling board – Did you see what I did there? I substituted grambling for drawing – maybe we will have better luck next week.  That will be the last games before Christmas; I will have to try and give it a Crimbo feel.

And of course as you know Christmas means peace and goodwill to all (even MK Dons and Mansfield Town!).  As the great Sir Cliff of Richard once said -

Its a time for giving, a time for getting,
A time for forgiving and for forgetting.

Yeah, well ignore the bit about getting for a moment; let’s just concentrate on the giving bit.  I know all you grambling chaps and chapesses out there are incredibly generous and are just wondering – if only somebody could give me an idea of a deserving charity that I could donate a large sum of money to at this season of goodwill, for I am feeling particularly goodwillish at the moment.  Well, wonder no more, fair reader; I have the very charity for you to give large sums, or indeed any sum, of money to.  It is of course

The Stewart David Smith Memorial Fund

But how do I donate, I hear you ask.  I don’t really.  Don’t panic.  I don’t have super-sensory hearing.  Yes, how do you donate?  You simply log on to http://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3 and donate away til your heart’s content.  Every pee donated goes straight to the Bobby Moore Fund which, as all you regulars know (thanks to all three of you), provides money to Cancer Research UK specifically to help find a cure for the horrible, horrible disease that is bowel cancer.

So with that plea, I bid you farewell for this week and, as this is the week of Dick Van Dyke’s birthday, I will leave the final words to the great Dick himself…

‘Comm bick soon, Grembling Pappins.’

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