Saturday 18 August 2012

Week 1 results: Nearly as bad as Brendan Rodgers' début...

Well that is week 1 out of the way.  As per usual, I got excitable and convinced myself that I'd be rich by Saturday evening.  As per usual, it didn't happen.  But it was certainly one of my more intense viewings of Soccer Saturday in recent memory, as I prayed for Jeff to announce that Staranraer had scored 4 goals in the final 10 minutes!  Here is how the individual games turned out:

Game 1: Rotherham United vs Burton Albion 
Prediction: Home Win (Aye!)

A sound start for The Grambler as Rotherham mark the opening of the New York Stadium with a comfortable win.  The scoring was opened by former next-big-thing and Championship Manager 2001 leg-end Daniel Nardielo from the penalty spot after he was felled by former Aberdeen donkey Zander Diamond.  A Kayode Odejayi header and a Ben Pringle cross deflected into the net made sure of the win.

Game 2: Ipswich Town vs Blackburn Rovers
Prediction: Home Win (Aye!)

Not a bad start at all, señor Grambler... With just ten minutes left in this game, Blackburn looked set to take all three points in their first competitive game since relegation from the Premiership.  A goal from on-loan Galatasaray striker Colin-Kazim Richards had put Blackburn in front early on but Rovers defender Jason Lowe had other ideas, as he turned a Jason Scotland shot into his own net. Thank you for being so considerate, Jason!

Game 3: Port Vale vs Barnet 
Prediction: Draw (Naw!)
Aaaaw, it was going so well!  Another 3-0 win for a home team as Port Vale comfortably see off Barnet.  Lous Dodds opened the scoring after only 7 minutes and a penalty from Jennison Myrie-Williams in the 19th minute all but assured that The Grambler would not be taking any winnings this week.  In the 75th minute Tom Pope, who may or may not be related to the Pope, killed off my hopes of a Barnet fightback.  Damn.

Game 4: Forfar Athletic vs Stranraer
Prediction: Draw 
Probably the less said about this one, the better.  Goals from Gavin Swankie, Danny Denholm and Martyn Fotheringham, with a bonus own-goal kindly chucked in by Stranraer's Mark Staunton, gave The Loons a 4-0 victory.  On a side note, according to Danny Denholm's Twitter account, his dad farts on him.

Game 5: Fleetwood Town vs Torquay United
Prediction: Away Win  (Naw!) 

The Grambler was oh-so-close with this one!  Fleetwood Town dominated for large periods of their début game in the football league but couldn't find the back of the net.  Visiting Torquay could!  However, Rene Howe's goal was ruled out following a push in the penalty area.  ARE YOU BLIND REF, THAT WAS NEVER A FOUL!!!? I'm sure that both teams will be happy to start the season with a point.  I, however, am not and have removed referee Christopher Sarginson from my Christmas cards list.  

Game 6: Portsmouth vs Bournemouth
Prediction: Home Win 
This really would have been remarkable had it happened!  Portsmouth fielded a team of débutants following the release of their entire professional squad due to financial difficulties (to put it lightly).  Not match-fit and having only trained together since Friday, the mix of free agents and loan signings got off to a good start as Izale McLeod's 30 yard shot found the net.  Pompey held on for most of the match but the lack-of-fitness issue was evident as the players began to tire.  Southampton loanee Lee Barnard headed in the equaliser for Bournemouth with just 12 minutes remaining.  What a twat.

Game 7: St Johnstone vs Aberdeen
Prediction: Home Win 
I genuinely believed that this was my best bet and awarded it the highest number of reliability balls yesterday.  But last night, I saw an interesting fact; prior to this game, St Johnstone had defeated Aberdeen just once in their last ten home games against them.  Make that 11 then...  Isaac Osbourne put the Dons in front in the first half and Johnny Hayes doubled their lead just after the break.  SPL wanderer and Jimmy Floyd's nephew Nigel Hasselbaink gave the Saints some hope late on but it proved to be nothing more than a consolation goal.

So there we have it.  Obviously, had I won this bet the rest of the predictions for the season would not have mattered and the excitement would have fizzled out all too quickly.  I believe that The Grambler has taken this into consideration and done us all a favour by making crap predictions.  

Thank you to everyone who followed this week's action!  If you enjoyed it, spread the word and we will make this thing a success.  I for one will be spending the entire week shamelessly plugging this as much as is humanly possible.  Hopefully next week's predictions will contain better research that is not entirely Wikipedia based also.  Why did no one tell me that Martin Grehan had moved to Alloa!?

Join me next Friday for round 2 of the predictions.  And in the meantime, consider this Yugoslavian proverb; "Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster."  Right...

(Oh, and remember to take a look at The Bobby Moore Fund website. THEY RAWK!)

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