This determination has brought a massive realisation during a brief moment of clarity. In the old format, I did not win very much. With that in mind, famous popular music singer David Bowie has announced "The Grambler is ch-ch-ch-changing.". Poor old guy never did get round to working on that stutter...
So instead of one highly unlikely bet, we now have one highly unlikely bet plus two potential (but unlikely) winners. The odds on the second and third bets are rather low but any winnings are good winnings. So without much Freddy Adu, I present to you the all new Grambler (which I'll probably only stick with for one week before becoming lazy and complacent.)
Bet 1: Five game accumulator from all leagues
Game, Result, Odds
Stranraer vs Albion Rovers, Home win, 7/10
Scunthorpe vs Coventry, Home win, 2/1
Peterborough vs Ipswich, Away win, 2/1
Birmingham vs Derby, Home win, 13/8
St Johnstone vs Kilmarnock, Home win, 10/11
50p @ 76/1
Bet the first is pretty much the same as the usual farfetched Grambler bet. Once again, a win looks unlikely here... Perhaps 3 out of the 5 will come out correct. However, whilst said scenario is possibly the best outcome, them pets don't win prizes as Dale Winton used to say... Actually, I'm not sure that he ever did say that. I was about to Tweet him and ask but the only accounts for him seem to be fake. So I tweeted original PWP host Danny Baker instead.
Bet 2: Three game accumulator from the Premiership
Game, Result, Odds
Man City vs Barnsley, Home win, 1/7
West Brom vs Swansea, Home win, 29/20
Norwich vs Southampton, Draw, 12/5
50p @ 9/1
Our second bet aims to make The Grambler a touch more exciting by focusing purely on the Bestest League in the World. For most people, the Premiership represents more exciting football than Torquay vs Accrington Stanley. So by placing a bet only on Premiership games, the weekend may not be ruined even though the early kick off League Two game has already lost the main bet. The FA Cup includes many top tier teams this weekend so these games have been included, hence the presence of Barnsley. The bet is not too shabby; Man City are the clear favourites in their match, West Brom have tremendous home form behind them and both Norwich and Southampton are prone to draws. I should really have included a joke about Tevez putting City in the driving seat just there...
Bet 3: Three man anytime goalscorer accumulator from the Premiership
Romelu Lukaku, 6/5
Edin Dzeko, 8/13
Steven Fletcher, 6/4
50p @ 8/1
Mixing things up a little, we have a goalscorer bet for the first time ever. This is a historical moment, perhaps on as par with the moment that the Pope assassinated Trotsky on the moon. Picked via random number generator from a list of all Premiership players to have scored 5 or more goals this season, the results are interesting. West Brom's on-loan Lukaku has been in good form recently, whilst Dzeko can be good for a goal if Man City are in control... The main problem is that he may not start. Finally, Sunderland's Steve Fletcher has 10 goals thus far, most of which have come at home. Unfortunately they are away to Ol' Melty Face Redknapp's QPR this afternoon. Still, this bet may just make this afternoon's Grambling that little bit more enthralling.
A massive total of £48.50 up for grabs today from a £1.50 bet. Should this format come anywhere close to success I'll be sticking to it. Otherwise, I'll be doing a Cardinal Keith and pretending that this never happened...