Shall we get the ball rolling by reviewing last week's performance? It was utter bollocks.
With that out of the way, we can look forward to this weekend's footballering action. And it's an exciting one as international football makes a welcome return! The game everyone is talking about, of course, is Scotland vs Wales. And the question on everyone's lips is will Gareth Bale play? Or will Wales have to actually rely on other players and win without the assistance of a penalty won by a blatant dive from a simian lookalike twat? Elsewhere, the media would have us believe that England's qualification chances are in TURMOIL as a 34 year old defender who hasn't represented his national team for two years opted not to play against a team who have managed one solitary win in their history. It's a SHAMBLES! And to complete the home nations round-up, Northern Ireland are probably going to lose to Russia.
Whilst all of this super-exciting international football is taking the place, the lower leagues are still in action. So we shall have a five game coupon for both the World Cup qualifiers and the remainder of domestic action this weekend. And might I remind you that The Grambler's biggest victory to date came on an international weekend back in October? Fingers crossed for more of the same!
International Bet
Game - Result - Odds
Croatia vs Serbia - Home win - 8/11
Norway vs Albania - Home win - 9/20
Liechtenstein vs Latvia - Draw - 11/4
Israel vs Portugal - Away win - 11/20
Luxembourg vs Azerbaijan - Away win - 6/5
£1 @ 31/1
Four reasonable picks in there, one would think that Croatia, Norway and Portugal will be victorious in their games. Azerbaijan deserve to win because their name rolls of the tongue so nicely... Not too sure about Liechtenstein to draw but stranger things have happened at sea. Latvia won 2-0 in the reverse fixture but with home advantage, the 'Steinies could possibly sneak a draw.
Domestic Bet
Game - Result - Odds
Rangers vs Stirling - Home win - 1/10
Arbroath vs Stenhousemuir - Home win - Evens
Northampton vs Oxford - Home win - 23/20
Torquay vs York - Home win - 7/5
Swindon vs Notts County - Draw - 3/1
£1 @85/1
Starting at Ibrox with Rangers Franchise # FC, the home side all but have the Third Division sewn up. A win tomorrow could put them 23 points clear at the top. Up one division, Arbroath have not won against Stenhousemuir in the past 5 years. They are currently 3 points ahead in Division Two. In the first of two games in League Two, Northampton take on Oxford whom they defeated twice last season. The reverse fixture this season ended in a 1-1 draw. Meanwhile, Torquay host York. The Gulls have lost their past 4 but have already beaten their opponents 2-0 this season. In League One, one would expect Swindon to defeat Notts County but the Robins have drawn 3 of their last 5 home games whilst the Magpies have drawn 3 of their last 5 away. I like to think that means something.
Overall, not too bad a bet with good odds. Portugal have already screwed up the international bet by drawing 3-3 in Israel so all hope rests upon this domestic accumulator. I am 63% confident of a win. So basically, not very confident.
Happy Grambling!
Showing posts with label England. Show all posts
Showing posts with label England. Show all posts
Friday, 22 March 2013
Thursday, 18 October 2012
Week 9 results: V is for victoriousness!
It has been said that if you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, over an infinite period of time one of them will bash out some Shakespeare. It has never explicitly been stated where one would acquire such a number of typewriters in this day and age and under which circumstances the health and safety folks would actually let this take place. But anyway, the point is that in a similar vein, The Grambler was likely to eventually throw up a winner. And that time is now! Well actually, it was about 4 0'clock in the morning on Wednesday...
In previous weekends, we have had odds of around 1,500/1. Unfortunately, this weekend was substantially lower but the £49 won is almost enough to travel back in time to April 1787 (please note: expenses for the invention and use of a time-travelling machine or device have not been included) and purchase the Lardin House Inn located in Masontown, Pennsylvania. Alternatively, it will be more than welcome in the Bobby Moore Fund fund, which has now reached... (the audience hushes in anticipation, Dermot O'Leary feigns a somewhat anguished look and a persistent rhythm not dissimilar to that of a heartbeat can be heard faintly in the background...)
£59.03!!!
This victory was not without controversy; two accumulator bets were placed as a result of complicated online betting procedures. The first contained just two games taking place on Friday night and was incorrect thanks to Scotland's almost inevitable loss (thank you Mr Levein, it would be sweetly poetic if the door DID hit you on your way out). The second coupon contained the five games taking place on Tuesday and Wednesday and this, my friends, was the bet which has made history!*
*May not actually have made history.
*May not actually have made history.
Game 1: Venezuela vs Ecuador
Prediction: Draw ( ✔ )
Ecuador will be happy with a point away from home which has kept them in second place, biting at the heels of Argentina like an otter who knows you have fish in your socks. But it was the home side who dominated at the Estadio General José Antonio Anzoátegui (named after a man with the finest sideburns of the early 19th century.) Captain Juan Arango (as in footballing team captain, he's not in the military or anything) was in fine form, and had his side in front early in the game with a stunning long strike giving Venezuela the lead within six minutes of the start. However, Ecuador pulled even on the 22nd minute when Segundo Castillo equalised. Arango tested the keeper once more from long distance and also hit the crossbar with a similar effort, but Venezuela had to settle for a single point. The draw managed to push Venezuela into the top four which would be enough to take them to their first World Cup. But there is still a long road ahead and Chile and Uruguay will also be eyeing fourth place. Speaking of Uruguay...
Game 2: Bolivia vs Uruguay
Prediction: Home win ( ✔ )
What a seamless transition! The country of Bolivia is named for Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar y Palacios Ponte y Blanco. Presumably Simónjoséantoniodelasantísimatrinidadbolívarypalaciosponteyblancoland was deemed to be less catchy. Their national team have qualified just once for a World Cup back in 1994, and gave their hopes of making this one a major boost with a fine win over better-fancied Uruguay. Carlos Saucedo opened the scoring early and Gualberto Mojica made it two minutes later with a cracking free-kick. After the interval, Saucedo added a third before claiming his hat-trick before the game had reached the hour mark. Luis Saurez scored a consolation goal for the visitors with only ten-minutes remaining, but the home-team were already celebrating the win. Disappointed Uruguay manager Oscar Tabarez went all Craig Levein on us at the end of the match, stating "we must keep focused, there are seven finals remaining.
Game 3: Chile vs Argentina
Prediction: Away win ( ✔ )
Chile went into this game knowing that a win would see them move within two points of the top-spot. But Argentina were determined to maintain pole position and managed to take all three points, much to the disgust of Chilean ambassador Jon Benjamin. Lionel Messi opened the scoring in the 28th minute with his third of the international break for Argentina. Three minutes later, the Argentines had doubled their lead thanks to Gonzalo Higuian. Chile created a host of chances but failed to score until stoppage time when Felipe Guttierez grabbed a consolation. The draw has left the Chileans sixth in their group, but joint on points with Venezuela and Uruguay. And a joke to round-off the South American action; What do you call a Thundercat who plays for Argentina and lives with his mother who is repeatedly begging him to tidy his room? Lion-O Messy!
Game 4: Oman vs Jordan
Prediction:Home win ( ✔ )
A win for Oman Sultan Qaboos Sports Complex took level with Australia in the race for qualification from the Asian groups. Ahmed Mubarak opened the scoring after 62 minutes and Juma Al Maashari made it two with three minutes remaining in the tie. But Oman were in for a nail-biting finish as Jordanian Tha'er Bawab pulled one back immediately after. The Omanians, if there is such a word, held on to take all three points much to the delight of Paul le Guen. Yep, that's where he ended up.
Game 5: Wales vs Scotland
Prediction: Draw ( x )
Where to start with this, our only incorrect prediction of the week? We could blame the officials for incorrectly ruling out Steven Fletcher's goal which have put Scotland two in front. We could blame Gareth Balee for taking yet-another 'unfortunate' tumble in the box to win his side a penalty (something that seems to happen week-in week-out but he gets away with because he's the poster-boy for the Best League in the World™ and not one of them 'dirty forrins'). But really, it is much more satisfying to blame the all-round cluelessness of the manager. Some facts for you:
- Berti Vogts lost the Scotland job after taking just two points in the opening three qualifiers for Euro 2006
- George Burley lost the support of the fans and the media when he won only three games in the qualifiers for the 2010 World Cup, his one full campaign
- Burley was finally sacked after losing against Wales in Cardiff
Game 6: Romania vs Netherlands
Prediction: Away win ( ✔ )
Romania's perfect start to the qualifying stages came to an end on Tuesday evening as Holland scored four to preserve their status as favourites in the group. Jermain Lens was first on the scoresheet in the 11th minute when he headed in from 20 yards. That's some header! Bruno Martins added a second when he headed in from a Rafael van der Vaart free-kick but the home side were given some hope when Ciprian Marca pulled one back with five minutes to go until half-time. But before the referee could signal the end of the half, Gabriel Tamas conceded a penalty which was calmly scored by van der Vaart. The second half was not to be as eventful and Romania rarely looked like coming back into the match. In the 86th minute, Robin van Persie sealed the win with a fourth for the Dutch, who now look certain to qualify for the World Cup. Romania meanwhile have slipped to third in their group but will hope that they don't Romania there.
Game 7: England vs San Marino
Prediction: Home win ( ✔ )
The mighty England took another step towards qualification thanks to a flawless win against their fierce rivals... er, San Marino. Or I imagine that's how The Sun will have spun it on Saturday morning. Although a comfortable win for England, it took them a while to get into their stride. For the first third of the match, the minnows put up a good fight and it took a penalty call for England in the 35th minute to start the goals flowing. Wayne Rooney diverted the penalty and minutes later, his Manchester United team-mate Danny Wellbeck had made it two. In the 69th minute, Rooney got his second and not to be outdone, Wellbeck once again scored minutes later. England added a fifth via a goal from Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who described his goal as 'spiffing' before hopping onto his thoroughbred horse, yelling "pip-pip and tally-ho" and riding back to his manor where his butler Reginald awaited him with a bowl of caviare and a fine brandy.
Back to league football tomorrow and it's probably best not to get carried away on the back of one win. But I can say with 100% accuracy that we will definitely be winning again this weekend!
Back to league football tomorrow and it's probably best not to get carried away on the back of one win. But I can say with 100% accuracy that we will definitely be winning again this weekend!
"Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half."
- Bum Phillips (Really, his name is Bum!)
Friday, 12 October 2012
Week 9: International Rescue!
Did you hear about the pack of Polos who took on some Foxes Glaciers at a game of football for no specified reason?
It was a MINTERNATIONAL!
Another weekend of World Cup qualifying matches and whilst there are options to choose from the lower domestic leagues, that would just be boring. So this week, we focus on the international matches meeting the following criteria:
- Are full internationals (no friendlies, no under 21s, etc.)
- Count towards qualifying for the 2014 World Cup
- Occur between the 12th and 16th of October
This long weekend technically has two rounds of qualifiers and so we could see the same team appearing twice in the predictions. However, I am going to allow this as:
- It gives us more choice of games
- I'm going away for the weekend anyway so there is no chance of the results appearing until at least Wednesday
Thankfully our racism-enduring, bribe-welcoming, corruption-riddled, technophobic overlords at FIFA have provided us with a handy list of fixtures from which we can Gramble. So without further need for unnecessary bullet-pointed lists, here are the predictions:
- The predictions are below
Game 1: Venezuela vs Ecuador
Prediction: Draw
Venezuela has been in the news this week as President and fellow bowel cancer sufferer (we call each other bowellies, as in 'Whassup ma bowelly?') Hugo Chávez secured re-election and celebrated by making a bus driver his vice president. This game gives Venezuela the chance to leapfrog their opponents in the qualifying group and depending on other results over the weekend, they could go joint second top. The 'Zuela defeated Paraguay in their previous qualifying match thanks to a double from Rubin Kazan forward José Rondón. Whilst the people of Venezuela have had much to celebrate this week, the people of Ecuador have been rather gloomy, thanks to the news that banana production is down by 25%. Thankfully, their football team are flying high in the qualifying group and currently sit just one point below leaders Argentine. Coach Reinaldo Rueda has confirmed that Manchester United's Antonio Valencia will miss out but is still confident of a win to keep pressure on the leaders. Ecuador also play fellow top-spot challengers Chile this evening, whilst Venezuela get to sit this one out. Could the additional match count against them?
Reliability balls: 6/10
Reliability balls: 6/10
Game 2: Bolivia vs Uruguay
Prediction: Home win
Staying in South America like a (insert ill-judged and erroneous kidnapping victim joke here) we are off to La Paz. And as Micky Dolenz once sang, "then I saw her face, now I'm a Bolivia..." The football team also seem to have been prone to monkeying around lately, as they currently sit joint bottom of the group with just four points from seven games. A win against fellow strugglers Peru this evening could boost their confidence ahead of this tie. And thanks to a confusing time-lapse in this weeks write-up which Marty McFly would be proud of, I can tell you that this game ended 1-1; Peru taking the lead through Juan Carlos Marino and Bolivia whilst Bolivia grabbed an equaliser via Alejandro Chumacero. Urruguay are team that more of us will be familiar with thanks to stand-out players such as Diego Forlan, Edison Cavani and horrible, racist, diving cheat Luis Saurez. Saurez has been in the news once again this week as FA vice-chairman Jim Boyce said that his diving was a 'cancer' of the game. In response, Saurez fell over and clutched his leg, rolling around in faux-agony. Uruguay visited Argentina last night and were the students of a Lionel Messi master-class, as a brace from the striker and another from Sergio Aguero resulted in a comfortable victory.
Reliability balls: 4/10
Staying in South America like a (insert ill-judged and erroneous kidnapping victim joke here) we are off to La Paz. And as Micky Dolenz once sang, "then I saw her face, now I'm a Bolivia..." The football team also seem to have been prone to monkeying around lately, as they currently sit joint bottom of the group with just four points from seven games. A win against fellow strugglers Peru this evening could boost their confidence ahead of this tie. And thanks to a confusing time-lapse in this weeks write-up which Marty McFly would be proud of, I can tell you that this game ended 1-1; Peru taking the lead through Juan Carlos Marino and Bolivia whilst Bolivia grabbed an equaliser via Alejandro Chumacero. Urruguay are team that more of us will be familiar with thanks to stand-out players such as Diego Forlan, Edison Cavani and horrible, racist, diving cheat Luis Saurez. Saurez has been in the news once again this week as FA vice-chairman Jim Boyce said that his diving was a 'cancer' of the game. In response, Saurez fell over and clutched his leg, rolling around in faux-agony. Uruguay visited Argentina last night and were the students of a Lionel Messi master-class, as a brace from the striker and another from Sergio Aguero resulted in a comfortable victory.
Reliability balls: 4/10
Game 3: Chile vs Argentina
Prediction: Away win
The Grambler sure does like a spot of South American football! Chile sit fifth in the qualifying group just now, but their chances of making the finals were dealt a blow last night with a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Ecuador. Two goals from Felipe Caicedo and a late one from Segundo Castillo sealed the win for the hosts. Chile only grabbed a consolation through an own goal from Juan Carlos Parades, who will not be eligible to play for them against Argentina. In addition, the dismissal of both Pablo Contreras and Arturo Vidal means that they will be missing key players for this tie. Chile had started their qualifiers in spicy form but unfortunately, that form has been peppered with inconsistencies. The same cannot be said of group leaders Argentina. Favourites to top the group from the start, they have lived up to this promise and have taken seventeen points from eight games. However, with Colombia and Ecuador snapping at their heels, Argentina will be desperate to win this game and gibe themselves some breathing space at the helm of the group. With players like Messi, Higuain, Mascherano and Aguero in their ranks, it should be easy to guarantee a win. But if they fail to achieve victory, don't cry for them.
Reliability balls: 5/10
Reliability balls: 5/10
Game 4: Oman vs Jordan
Prediction:Home win
What can be said about this tie that we don't already know? A hotly anticipated fixture, one that has hardly been out of the newspapers since the fixtures list was announced, between two of the footballing greats. It is said that in the UK, Oman replica shirts outsell 'Frankie Says Relax' t-shirts at a ratio of 14:1 [citation needed]. Oman are currently rock-bottom of Group B in the Asian qualifying matches. But they have taken two points from their three matches so it is not all bad. The problem is that they have only scored one goal thus far. Can they overcome their shyness in front of goal to take their first win? Their opponents in this match are reality TV whore and former glamour model Jordan. Currently 78th in the FIFA rankings, they sit second in the qualifying group, behind foregone conclusion Japan. They have one win, one draw and one loss so far, but eight goals conceded in these matches suggests a leaky defence and/or crap keeper. Captain Amer Deeb has said that Jordan will be hard to beat during this campaign. Unfortunately for him, his surname is defined in the Urban Dictionary thusly: "Shortened version of Duckbutter, or the accumulation of sweat, vaginal discharge, anal seepage, semen, blood, saliva, urine, etc. around the taint/gooch area."
Reliability balls: ?/10
What can be said about this tie that we don't already know? A hotly anticipated fixture, one that has hardly been out of the newspapers since the fixtures list was announced, between two of the footballing greats. It is said that in the UK, Oman replica shirts outsell 'Frankie Says Relax' t-shirts at a ratio of 14:1 [citation needed]. Oman are currently rock-bottom of Group B in the Asian qualifying matches. But they have taken two points from their three matches so it is not all bad. The problem is that they have only scored one goal thus far. Can they overcome their shyness in front of goal to take their first win? Their opponents in this match are reality TV whore and former glamour model Jordan. Currently 78th in the FIFA rankings, they sit second in the qualifying group, behind foregone conclusion Japan. They have one win, one draw and one loss so far, but eight goals conceded in these matches suggests a leaky defence and/or crap keeper. Captain Amer Deeb has said that Jordan will be hard to beat during this campaign. Unfortunately for him, his surname is defined in the Urban Dictionary thusly: "Shortened version of Duckbutter, or the accumulation of sweat, vaginal discharge, anal seepage, semen, blood, saliva, urine, etc. around the taint/gooch area."
Reliability balls: ?/10
Game 5: Wales vs Scotland
Prediction: Draw
“We can play better than that and will do in our next match.” I bookmarked that quote back in September following a dire draw with Macedonia. The quotee (if there is such a word) is, of course, Mr Craig Levein. And the reason for remembering this quote is so that, should Scotland get any less than a win this evening, I have proof that Levein is not only a terrible manager, but also a liar and should resign immediately. Worryingly, in the lead up to this game Levein has said "we will treat this game as we have treated every other one." So the game plan is 'have Kenny Miller run about up front whilt the rest of the team occasionally punt the ball towards them but generally aim for a point.' Obviously Scotland's campaign could have gone worse. Days after a goalless draw with Serbia last month, Scotland were embarrassed by a 1-1 draw with Macedonia. Meanwhile, Wales were being mauled 6-1 by Serbia. So, using science to calculate football results, Scotland should win this one 6-1, right? Steven Fletcher and Levein have (thankfully) put aside their differences but expect the Lovable Tramp on the touchline to remain too stubborn to play. I firmly believe that Kenny Miller has pictures or some other dirt on the gaffer... For the Welshlings, 'greatest footballer in Britain and 100% non-diver' (copyrighted by Match of the Day) has been declared fit but Bernard's son Adam Matthews is likely to miss out.
Reliability balls: 6/10
“We can play better than that and will do in our next match.” I bookmarked that quote back in September following a dire draw with Macedonia. The quotee (if there is such a word) is, of course, Mr Craig Levein. And the reason for remembering this quote is so that, should Scotland get any less than a win this evening, I have proof that Levein is not only a terrible manager, but also a liar and should resign immediately. Worryingly, in the lead up to this game Levein has said "we will treat this game as we have treated every other one." So the game plan is 'have Kenny Miller run about up front whilt the rest of the team occasionally punt the ball towards them but generally aim for a point.' Obviously Scotland's campaign could have gone worse. Days after a goalless draw with Serbia last month, Scotland were embarrassed by a 1-1 draw with Macedonia. Meanwhile, Wales were being mauled 6-1 by Serbia. So, using science to calculate football results, Scotland should win this one 6-1, right? Steven Fletcher and Levein have (thankfully) put aside their differences but expect the Lovable Tramp on the touchline to remain too stubborn to play. I firmly believe that Kenny Miller has pictures or some other dirt on the gaffer... For the Welshlings, 'greatest footballer in Britain and 100% non-diver' (copyrighted by Match of the Day) has been declared fit but Bernard's son Adam Matthews is likely to miss out.
Reliability balls: 6/10
Game 6: Romania vs Netherlands
Prediction: Away win
In what could be an exciting battle for the top-spot in Group D, both teams have a 100% record going into this game and the result could determine the eventual winners. Romania gained their third successive win against Turkey last night thanks to a single goal from Gheorghe Grozav. Current captain Răzvan Raț has impressed at both national level and club level with Shakhtar Donetsk and thinks that his team can top the group. Which is pretty good considering he only took to football when the Romanian TV station Antena 1 dropped the defender from their version of this classic. The Netherlands will also be keen to make the World Cup finals having finished as runners-up at the last tournament, thanks to their combination of football and mixed martial arts. They have had convincing wins over Turkey, Hungary and Andorra in the group and could face their toughest challenge to date in the in-form Romania. Following tlast night's 3-0 over Andorra, Netherlands coach Louis Van Gaal said that his team had "not done enough" and so will surely be expecting goals galore on Tuesday. It has also be reported that he has been suffering from crystalline concretions formed within the bladder by accretion of bile components. Yes, he has Gaalstones.
In what could be an exciting battle for the top-spot in Group D, both teams have a 100% record going into this game and the result could determine the eventual winners. Romania gained their third successive win against Turkey last night thanks to a single goal from Gheorghe Grozav. Current captain Răzvan Raț has impressed at both national level and club level with Shakhtar Donetsk and thinks that his team can top the group. Which is pretty good considering he only took to football when the Romanian TV station Antena 1 dropped the defender from their version of this classic. The Netherlands will also be keen to make the World Cup finals having finished as runners-up at the last tournament, thanks to their combination of football and mixed martial arts. They have had convincing wins over Turkey, Hungary and Andorra in the group and could face their toughest challenge to date in the in-form Romania. Following tlast night's 3-0 over Andorra, Netherlands coach Louis Van Gaal said that his team had "not done enough" and so will surely be expecting goals galore on Tuesday. It has also be reported that he has been suffering from crystalline concretions formed within the bladder by accretion of bile components. Yes, he has Gaalstones.
Reliability balls: 7/10
Game 7: England vs San Marino
Prediction: Home win
Engerland play host, a team who are renowned for losing. In typical England fashion, the squad has warmed up for this qualifier by making front page news for all the wrong reasons. We have John Terry, the massive racist, making the front pages for being a massive racist. Then there's his Chelsea team-mate, Ashley Cole, who decided that the best way to enamour himself to the beaks at the FA on the week of his 100th cap was to call them a #bunchoftwats, which translates to 'bunch of twats' for those of you are not Twitter literate. Or Twilliterate as it should be called. And then there is Jermaine Defoe, who last night was caught with a hotel room full of midget hookers and a no less than FIFTEEN boxes of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. Please note, only two of these controversies are real. See if you can spot the fake story. San Marino, meanwhile, are still looking for their first competitive football win and have only won one game in their history, a 1-0 victory over fellow minnows Liechtenstein. Still, they get bonus points for having a name that rhymes with Dan Marino, the American football guy in Ace Venture.
Reliability balls: 9/10
Reliability balls: 9/10
Not a bad bet this week, eh? Or it would be the case if I could actually find an online betting firm which was actually willing to accept the bet! It would appear that South American games in five days time are rather hard to place a bet on so I will be going old-school and strolling into a bookmakers in an attempt to place this one!
I shall update all missing information on Saturday morning and with any luck, the bet will still be on. If either of tonight's bets go wrong, I shall be cheating and sticking a five-folds on for the others.
STOP THE PRESSES! As an update to this, I was not even able to place this bet at an old-school bookmakers last night. And fortunately so as Scotland lived up to expectations by losing to a team with one good (diving) player on the night. So the bet is still technically on, I shall place the five-folds on Monday morning and that should mean that the chances of winning have improved...
Happy Gramblin'!
I shall update all missing information on Saturday morning and with any luck, the bet will still be on. If either of tonight's bets go wrong, I shall be cheating and sticking a five-folds on for the others.
STOP THE PRESSES! As an update to this, I was not even able to place this bet at an old-school bookmakers last night. And fortunately so as Scotland lived up to expectations by losing to a team with one good (diving) player on the night. So the bet is still technically on, I shall place the five-folds on Monday morning and that should mean that the chances of winning have improved...
Happy Gramblin'!
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Week 6: Better late than never!
I did not get the chance to write the usual post-weekend analysis last week, so my apologies go out to the four people who are still reading. It was a rather good weekend, with four of the seven results correct. Thanks to the trebles bet I won £5.75, all of which shall be added to the Bobby Moore Fund collection. So we not have a grand total of £7.50! Cancer beware, I am totally going to fund a cure with that money!
I am rather excited by this week's Gramblings... A total of 67 games to choose from and The Grambler has managed to select my two favourite teams in the same week, giving me all the more reason to be completely engrossed in this weekend's football action.
The Almighty One has picked the following:
The Almighty One has picked the following:
Prediction: Draw
My old man is from Derby and gi old man is from Derby and his old man... well, that's all I know about my family tree. When I was young 'un kicking a football about the school-yard at playtime, everyone wanted to be Eric Cantona, Alan Shearer or Gianfranco Zola. I wanted to be Marco Gabbiadini. Which is weird because not even Marco Gabbiadini wants to be Marco Gabbiadini. I have always kept an eye out for them, and will be doing more-so this weekend whilst screaming "COME ON YOU RAMS, DRAW THIS ONE!" Derby currently sit 12th in the Championship and have yet to lose at Pride Park. Burnley are heading down the M1 (or A551 depending on which route the driver wants to take) without a single point away from home in three attempts this season. Manager Eddie Howe has berated his side's lack of consistency this season, having watched the Clarets win two games comfortably and lose the other four. Obviously, he does not understand howe this can happen.
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 12/5
Game 2: Crystal Palace vs Cardiff City
Prediction: Home win
Staying in the Championship and we are off to Selhurst Park, where Palace are looking to extend their unbeaten run to four games. Having won, drawn and lost one game at home apiece this season, the Eagles will be hopeful of moving out of the bottom half of the table with a win today. They will have to do so without frormer Cardiff player and Wales international Danny Gabbidon and the ridiculously Irish sounding Paddy McCarthy, who is so Irish that the Corrs wrote a song about him. Cardiff have only been beaten only once this season and will be hoping to take advantage of Blackburn's slip-up last night to claim the top-spot with a win. TheBlueRedbirds won both league games between the two last season and also dumped Palace out of the league cup on penalties at the semi-final stage. The Welsh boyos will have to make-do without one big-name summer signing as Nicky Maynard is injured but Craig Bellamy returns to action after missing out on Tuesday night as Cardiff defeated Millwall.
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 11/5
Game 3: Liverpool vs Manchester United
Prediction: Liverpool
Woohoo, we have a biggie this week! And it appears to be a battle between the most unlikeable teams in English football! All eyes will be on Anfield on Sunday for a number of reasons; a fierce and long-running rivalry extends into another season, the nonsensical furore surrounding Luis Saurez and Patrice Evra continues, Sir Alex Ferguson has issued a letter to United fans asking them to stop singing songs about tragedy, the same goes for Liverpool fans and yet another Hillsborough tribute will be taking place (no offence intended as it was a horrific incident, but many of these do we need?) Sir has pleaded with his players to remain disciplined in what could be a melting pot, whilst Brendan Rodgers has said that he expects a 'peaceful game', akin to that seen in the trenches on Christmas Day during World War 1: First Blood. So expect the players to trade cigarettes, make jolly japes and compare pictures of their loved ones back home. Regarding the actual football, Liverpool have been awful this season but may be fired up for the reasons given above. The home crowd may also help so this could be a possibility.
Reliability balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 17/10
Game 4: Port Vale vs Gillingham
Prediction: Port Vale
Dropping down to League Two, and another exciting game as a top-of-the-table clash takes place over at Stoke-on-Trent. Just three points separates the two teams who currently occupy 1st and 2nd place in the league. Under Micky Adams, Port Vale have exceeded expectations and made an impressive start to the season in spite of financial trouble and uncertainty over the clubs future. Still in administration, the club have only lost one game this season with five wins. They are also undefeated at their imaginatively named Vale Park home-ground. Gillingham have gone one step farther and remained unbeaten all season. The Gills have only dropped two points this season in a home-draw with Chesterfield. They have also strengthened their squad with the addition of Nottingham Forrest's USA international striker Robbie Findlay, who could start today. Would you like to see him miss an absolute sitter for Forrest back in January? Of course you would!
Reliability balls: 7/10
Odds on this result: 13/10
Game 5: West Ham vs Sunderland
Prediction: Sunderland
Many people had expected West Ham to struggle upon gaining promotion back to the big-bad world of the Premiership. Although they are absolutely horrific to watch, as Sam Alardyce teams tend to be, they have actually adapted quite well to the pace of the top league and have managed two wins and a draw in their opening four games. Andy Carroll has been reported to be back in light-training (as opposed to dark-training) but is not likely to feature this weekend. Sunderland have neither won nor lost this season; in three games they have drawn three. Martin O'Neill will hope that his side can manage a victory for the first time since March; in eleven games since their last win they have drawn a massive eight. Adam Johnson may miss out through an injury sustained whilst playing a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos with Steven Fletcher.
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 13/5
Odds on this result: 12/5
Game 2: Crystal Palace vs Cardiff City
Prediction: Home win
Staying in the Championship and we are off to Selhurst Park, where Palace are looking to extend their unbeaten run to four games. Having won, drawn and lost one game at home apiece this season, the Eagles will be hopeful of moving out of the bottom half of the table with a win today. They will have to do so without frormer Cardiff player and Wales international Danny Gabbidon and the ridiculously Irish sounding Paddy McCarthy, who is so Irish that the Corrs wrote a song about him. Cardiff have only been beaten only once this season and will be hoping to take advantage of Blackburn's slip-up last night to claim the top-spot with a win. The
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 11/5
Game 3: Liverpool vs Manchester United
Prediction: Liverpool
Woohoo, we have a biggie this week! And it appears to be a battle between the most unlikeable teams in English football! All eyes will be on Anfield on Sunday for a number of reasons; a fierce and long-running rivalry extends into another season, the nonsensical furore surrounding Luis Saurez and Patrice Evra continues, Sir Alex Ferguson has issued a letter to United fans asking them to stop singing songs about tragedy, the same goes for Liverpool fans and yet another Hillsborough tribute will be taking place (no offence intended as it was a horrific incident, but many of these do we need?) Sir has pleaded with his players to remain disciplined in what could be a melting pot, whilst Brendan Rodgers has said that he expects a 'peaceful game', akin to that seen in the trenches on Christmas Day during World War 1: First Blood. So expect the players to trade cigarettes, make jolly japes and compare pictures of their loved ones back home. Regarding the actual football, Liverpool have been awful this season but may be fired up for the reasons given above. The home crowd may also help so this could be a possibility.
Reliability balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 17/10
Game 4: Port Vale vs Gillingham
Prediction: Port Vale
Dropping down to League Two, and another exciting game as a top-of-the-table clash takes place over at Stoke-on-Trent. Just three points separates the two teams who currently occupy 1st and 2nd place in the league. Under Micky Adams, Port Vale have exceeded expectations and made an impressive start to the season in spite of financial trouble and uncertainty over the clubs future. Still in administration, the club have only lost one game this season with five wins. They are also undefeated at their imaginatively named Vale Park home-ground. Gillingham have gone one step farther and remained unbeaten all season. The Gills have only dropped two points this season in a home-draw with Chesterfield. They have also strengthened their squad with the addition of Nottingham Forrest's USA international striker Robbie Findlay, who could start today. Would you like to see him miss an absolute sitter for Forrest back in January? Of course you would!
Reliability balls: 7/10
Odds on this result: 13/10
Game 5: West Ham vs Sunderland
Prediction: Sunderland
Many people had expected West Ham to struggle upon gaining promotion back to the big-bad world of the Premiership. Although they are absolutely horrific to watch, as Sam Alardyce teams tend to be, they have actually adapted quite well to the pace of the top league and have managed two wins and a draw in their opening four games. Andy Carroll has been reported to be back in light-training (as opposed to dark-training) but is not likely to feature this weekend. Sunderland have neither won nor lost this season; in three games they have drawn three. Martin O'Neill will hope that his side can manage a victory for the first time since March; in eleven games since their last win they have drawn a massive eight. Adam Johnson may miss out through an injury sustained whilst playing a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos with Steven Fletcher.
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 13/5
Game 6: Aberdeen vs Motherwell
Prediction: Draw
Finally, the kings of football appear! Currently running away with the SPL title, Motherwell are clearly the greatest team in Scotland and their lack of trophies is purely a result of many years not playing to their full ability as it would embarrass evceryone they played. A great start to the season sees Motherwell sitting top of the table and undefeated. A draw at Aberdeen would be a nice preparation for dumping Rangers out of the league cup next week. They will be up against an Aberdeen side managed by a dishonest old twat. Grandpaw Broon has not quite managed to transform the Dons in the way that the fans expected, with them continuing to float around the bottom half of the SPL table. Their fans have yet to notice that this is the case however, as they all think it is still 1989 and their team is half decent. I can't say that I'll be enturely disappointed if this prediction is incorrect and the Well pump the Sheepies.
Reliability balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 9/4
Game 7: Morton vs Raith Rovers
Prediction: Home win
The final game of the week occurs in the Scottish First Division, as Raith visit the midden that is Greenock. Rovers currently sit higher in the league table but only two points separate the sides. Raith also finished one position higher in the league last season and the last encounter between the sides at Cappielow ended with a 3-1 victory for the away side. But Morton manager Allen Moore has insisted that his side can make the most of their home advantage saying "I insist that we can make the most of our home advantage."
Prediction: Draw
Finally, the kings of football appear! Currently running away with the SPL title, Motherwell are clearly the greatest team in Scotland and their lack of trophies is purely a result of many years not playing to their full ability as it would embarrass evceryone they played. A great start to the season sees Motherwell sitting top of the table and undefeated. A draw at Aberdeen would be a nice preparation for dumping Rangers out of the league cup next week. They will be up against an Aberdeen side managed by a dishonest old twat. Grandpaw Broon has not quite managed to transform the Dons in the way that the fans expected, with them continuing to float around the bottom half of the SPL table. Their fans have yet to notice that this is the case however, as they all think it is still 1989 and their team is half decent. I can't say that I'll be enturely disappointed if this prediction is incorrect and the Well pump the Sheepies.
Reliability balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 9/4
Game 7: Morton vs Raith Rovers
Prediction: Home win
The final game of the week occurs in the Scottish First Division, as Raith visit the midden that is Greenock. Rovers currently sit higher in the league table but only two points separate the sides. Raith also finished one position higher in the league last season and the last encounter between the sides at Cappielow ended with a 3-1 victory for the away side. But Morton manager Allen Moore has insisted that his side can make the most of their home advantage saying "I insist that we can make the most of our home advantage."
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 13/10
That is our bet for this week. Most of the games are approaching half-time just now because I am late in writing this, however the bet was placed on facebook.com/LetsGramble on Friday morning so be sure to like us over there for more up
to date announcements.
Total odds this week are 1,817/1. And I promise to update this on Monday morning with the results. Honestly!
That is our bet for this week. Most of the games are approaching half-time just now because I am late in writing this, however the bet was placed on facebook.com/LetsGramble on Friday morning so be sure to like us over there for more up
to date announcements.
Total odds this week are 1,817/1. And I promise to update this on Monday morning with the results. Honestly!
Friday, 14 September 2012
Week 5: Assignment: Miami Beach
After an entertaining but disastrous international weekend, we get back to business this week with the wonderful world of league football, where it is actually possible to find a match report.
But before we start, here is a football related joke:
Q: Why was Cinderella rubbish at football?
A: Because she had no formal training. From a young age, her sisters coerced her into doing all of the housekeeping meaning that she never even got the chance to try out for her school football team. Besides, back in those un-PC days, the school team probably wouldn't have selected a girl. There was also a lack of interest in the sport on her part; she often heard people making remarks about her 'running away from the ball' and thought to herself "when you put that into context, it really makes no sense as I have no interest and/or involvement in football and/or any other sport." It wasn't until she found her prince that she took a mild interest in the game, following her new husbands favourite team - Coventry City. And then the French paparazzi took long distance photo's of her topless...
Game 1: Stevenage vs Crewe
Prediction: Draw
We start our journey this week in Stevenage, a town famous for... being near Junction 7 on the A1? Also, apparently the King of Portugal moved there in the 1840s. God knows why... Stevenage made it to the play-offs last season with a 6th place finish and currently inhabit the third spot in the table. Their three wins so far this season have all come away from home, and they remain unbeaten thanks to two draws in their home matches. Crewe won promotion from League Two last season via the play-offs and have had a strong start to life in League One. They currently sit four points below Stevenage in League One, but have managed a win away from home suggesting that are capable of picking up points on the road. One local celebrity is so desperate for his side to avoid defeat that he has promised to hold his breath until they have secured at least a point. Hopefully Crewe can pick up something from this game so that he can breath again.
Reliability Balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 5/2
Game 2: Brighton vs Sheffield Wednesday
Prediction: Home win
This week's earliest kick-off, taking place at 7.45 tonight. Brighton chairman Tony Bloom has ploughed a lot of money into the club over the past couple of seasons in the hope of his side will blossom and find that elusive promotion. Manager Gus Poyet will hope that his players can keep up their good-form and improve on last season's 10th place finish. Meanwhile, the media-circus has rolled into Sheffield following the release of restricted papers from the Hillsborough disaster (it turns out the politicians and high ranking police-officers are liars, who would have thunk it?) Wednesday will be glad to get away from this with a pleasant day-trip to Brighton to visit the Ashdown Forest Llama Park, stroll along the pier and, most importantly, have a kickabout. The two teams are neck-and-neck in the championship. Each has two wins and draw to their name but the bonus in our favour is that Brighton are unbeaten at home whilst Wednesday have yet to win away.
Reliability Balls: 7/10
Odds on this result: 6/5
Game 3: Colchester vs Doncaster
Prediction: Away win
Back to League One... It has been a tough start to the season for Colchester... In five games, the have drawn three, just not quite doing enough for the win. The other two games resulted in losses so they are still searching for that first win of the season. And on top of that, La Tasca in the town centre is set to close! The U's sit in the relegation zone just now, not that that means much at this time of the season, and would get a confidence boost from a win tomorrow. To help them along the way, fictional Irish stereotype John-Joe O'Toole has returned to training. Doncaster sit higher up the table with wins in 50% of their games this season and a game in hand over their opponents. But manager Dean Saunders has bemoaned his sides luck with injuries, and claims that he is struggling to scrape a side together. Striker Chris Brown has three goals in three games, a streak that he will be hopeful of continuing. Brown also has an... ahem... supplementary job as an aspiring commentator.
Reliability Balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 9/5
Game 4: Inverness vs Aberdeen
Prediction: Home win
Inverness have not had the best start the season, with three draws and zero wins in their opening five fixtures. In their last match before the international break, they were absolutely pumped at Fir Park putting Motherwell at the top of the SPL (YAAAAAAAAS!). Terry Butcher has complained about his sides complacent defence, no doubt calling them mince. He will expect a meaty performance and is willing to steak his reputation on a win. Beef. Grandpaw Broon's Aberdeen side are just one win better off and sit two places above Caley Thistle in the league. Broon is aware of the Inverness threat, saying "they'll tighten up, particularly when it's Aberdeen. Aberdeen would constitute a fairly good scalp for them" whilst sucking on his falsers, lighting a pipe and reminiscing about the good old days.
Reliability Balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 2/1
Game 5: Everton vs NewcastlePrediction: Draw
I really do hope this one is correct, not only for the sake of the bet, but also for the sake of my awful fantasy football team. Preferably a 3-3 draw with hat-tricks for Jelavic and Cisse. Everton have, for once, decided to start playing well from the start of the season instead of waiting until January. Two wins in their first three games will have delighted fans, and if they can maintain this form, a finish above their substandard noisy neighbours could once again be on the cards. Newcastle were a delight to watch last season and ended up as surprise challengers for the final Champions League spot last season and, having kept their team together over the pre-season, many expected them to pick up where they left off last season. One win and one draw in their opening three has been an average start but they are certainly capable of more. A draw could be a fair result.
Reliability Balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 13/5
Game 6: Cardiff vs Leeds
Prediction: Draw
Strangely enough, another two sides who are level with the aforementioned Brighton and Sheffield Wednesday, with two wins and a draw in their first four games putting them on seven points. Since their 3-1 win against Wolves a fortnight ago, Cardiff manager Malky McKay has been full of praise for Craig Bellamy saying that he had been 'immense' in training. McKay was also full of praise for David Bellamy saying that he had been 'immense' in gardening. Leeds have strengthened their squad further over the past week with the loan signing of Stoke's Michael Tonge who has told the club that he is so good that Neil Warnock will have to hand him a start tomorrow. I believe he was being Tonge in cheek though... Neither team is a stranger to The Grambler with both appearing in Week 3, and in that case both predictions were incorrect. Based on this, I am convinced that a draw is exactly what will happen here...
Reliability Balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 5/2
Game 7: Barnsley vs Blackpool
Prediction: Home win
Our third Championship game of the week, and the one that I'm least confident about... Barnsley have made a modest start to the season with two wins and two losses. Having finished a lowly 21st in the table last season, manager Keith Hill is one win away from making this season Barnsley's best league start since 1977. Here's what he had to say on Twitter: "I love bacon. Each morning I sing about my beloved bacon, I even do my bacon ritual. I endeavour to be bacon man. I guess I just love bacon." I have an inkling that it might be a fake account. Blackpool are as high as a tower at the top of the league. Ian Holloway will not want to sea the Tykes rock the boat, and will certainly not give in to pier pressure by changing his starting line up. But when Blackpool are at their best, it can be a pleasure (beach) to watch. Barnsley have a 100% home record this season, whilst Blackpool's only loss came away from home as they visited Leicester. I remain hopeful.
Reliability Balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 13/5
The odds for this bet are the highest received for any Grambler bet thus far; a humongous 2,933/1!!! I have also put a cheeky trebles bet on this week as three correct predictions seems to represent a good Grambling week.
As the Everton vs Newcastle game takes place on Monday evening, the results shall not be here until sometime on Tuesday.
But before we start, here is a football related joke:
Q: Why was Cinderella rubbish at football?
A: Because she had no formal training. From a young age, her sisters coerced her into doing all of the housekeeping meaning that she never even got the chance to try out for her school football team. Besides, back in those un-PC days, the school team probably wouldn't have selected a girl. There was also a lack of interest in the sport on her part; she often heard people making remarks about her 'running away from the ball' and thought to herself "when you put that into context, it really makes no sense as I have no interest and/or involvement in football and/or any other sport." It wasn't until she found her prince that she took a mild interest in the game, following her new husbands favourite team - Coventry City. And then the French paparazzi took long distance photo's of her topless...
Game 1: Stevenage vs Crewe
Prediction: Draw
We start our journey this week in Stevenage, a town famous for... being near Junction 7 on the A1? Also, apparently the King of Portugal moved there in the 1840s. God knows why... Stevenage made it to the play-offs last season with a 6th place finish and currently inhabit the third spot in the table. Their three wins so far this season have all come away from home, and they remain unbeaten thanks to two draws in their home matches. Crewe won promotion from League Two last season via the play-offs and have had a strong start to life in League One. They currently sit four points below Stevenage in League One, but have managed a win away from home suggesting that are capable of picking up points on the road. One local celebrity is so desperate for his side to avoid defeat that he has promised to hold his breath until they have secured at least a point. Hopefully Crewe can pick up something from this game so that he can breath again.
Reliability Balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 5/2
Game 2: Brighton vs Sheffield Wednesday
Prediction: Home win
This week's earliest kick-off, taking place at 7.45 tonight. Brighton chairman Tony Bloom has ploughed a lot of money into the club over the past couple of seasons in the hope of his side will blossom and find that elusive promotion. Manager Gus Poyet will hope that his players can keep up their good-form and improve on last season's 10th place finish. Meanwhile, the media-circus has rolled into Sheffield following the release of restricted papers from the Hillsborough disaster (it turns out the politicians and high ranking police-officers are liars, who would have thunk it?) Wednesday will be glad to get away from this with a pleasant day-trip to Brighton to visit the Ashdown Forest Llama Park, stroll along the pier and, most importantly, have a kickabout. The two teams are neck-and-neck in the championship. Each has two wins and draw to their name but the bonus in our favour is that Brighton are unbeaten at home whilst Wednesday have yet to win away.
Reliability Balls: 7/10
Odds on this result: 6/5
Game 3: Colchester vs Doncaster
Prediction: Away win
Back to League One... It has been a tough start to the season for Colchester... In five games, the have drawn three, just not quite doing enough for the win. The other two games resulted in losses so they are still searching for that first win of the season. And on top of that, La Tasca in the town centre is set to close! The U's sit in the relegation zone just now, not that that means much at this time of the season, and would get a confidence boost from a win tomorrow. To help them along the way, fictional Irish stereotype John-Joe O'Toole has returned to training. Doncaster sit higher up the table with wins in 50% of their games this season and a game in hand over their opponents. But manager Dean Saunders has bemoaned his sides luck with injuries, and claims that he is struggling to scrape a side together. Striker Chris Brown has three goals in three games, a streak that he will be hopeful of continuing. Brown also has an... ahem... supplementary job as an aspiring commentator.
Reliability Balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 9/5
Game 4: Inverness vs Aberdeen
Prediction: Home win
Inverness have not had the best start the season, with three draws and zero wins in their opening five fixtures. In their last match before the international break, they were absolutely pumped at Fir Park putting Motherwell at the top of the SPL (YAAAAAAAAS!). Terry Butcher has complained about his sides complacent defence, no doubt calling them mince. He will expect a meaty performance and is willing to steak his reputation on a win. Beef. Grandpaw Broon's Aberdeen side are just one win better off and sit two places above Caley Thistle in the league. Broon is aware of the Inverness threat, saying "they'll tighten up, particularly when it's Aberdeen. Aberdeen would constitute a fairly good scalp for them" whilst sucking on his falsers, lighting a pipe and reminiscing about the good old days.
Reliability Balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 2/1
Game 5: Everton vs NewcastlePrediction: Draw
I really do hope this one is correct, not only for the sake of the bet, but also for the sake of my awful fantasy football team. Preferably a 3-3 draw with hat-tricks for Jelavic and Cisse. Everton have, for once, decided to start playing well from the start of the season instead of waiting until January. Two wins in their first three games will have delighted fans, and if they can maintain this form, a finish above their substandard noisy neighbours could once again be on the cards. Newcastle were a delight to watch last season and ended up as surprise challengers for the final Champions League spot last season and, having kept their team together over the pre-season, many expected them to pick up where they left off last season. One win and one draw in their opening three has been an average start but they are certainly capable of more. A draw could be a fair result.
Reliability Balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 13/5
Game 6: Cardiff vs Leeds
Prediction: Draw
Strangely enough, another two sides who are level with the aforementioned Brighton and Sheffield Wednesday, with two wins and a draw in their first four games putting them on seven points. Since their 3-1 win against Wolves a fortnight ago, Cardiff manager Malky McKay has been full of praise for Craig Bellamy saying that he had been 'immense' in training. McKay was also full of praise for David Bellamy saying that he had been 'immense' in gardening. Leeds have strengthened their squad further over the past week with the loan signing of Stoke's Michael Tonge who has told the club that he is so good that Neil Warnock will have to hand him a start tomorrow. I believe he was being Tonge in cheek though... Neither team is a stranger to The Grambler with both appearing in Week 3, and in that case both predictions were incorrect. Based on this, I am convinced that a draw is exactly what will happen here...
Reliability Balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 5/2
Game 7: Barnsley vs Blackpool
Prediction: Home win
Our third Championship game of the week, and the one that I'm least confident about... Barnsley have made a modest start to the season with two wins and two losses. Having finished a lowly 21st in the table last season, manager Keith Hill is one win away from making this season Barnsley's best league start since 1977. Here's what he had to say on Twitter: "I love bacon. Each morning I sing about my beloved bacon, I even do my bacon ritual. I endeavour to be bacon man. I guess I just love bacon." I have an inkling that it might be a fake account. Blackpool are as high as a tower at the top of the league. Ian Holloway will not want to sea the Tykes rock the boat, and will certainly not give in to pier pressure by changing his starting line up. But when Blackpool are at their best, it can be a pleasure (beach) to watch. Barnsley have a 100% home record this season, whilst Blackpool's only loss came away from home as they visited Leicester. I remain hopeful.
Reliability Balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 13/5
The odds for this bet are the highest received for any Grambler bet thus far; a humongous 2,933/1!!! I have also put a cheeky trebles bet on this week as three correct predictions seems to represent a good Grambling week.
As the Everton vs Newcastle game takes place on Monday evening, the results shall not be here until sometime on Tuesday.
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
Week 4.5 Results: Happy Day of Conception to all our Russian readers!
The first midweek Grambling session did not end well. In spite of what looked like a reasonable bet, only two results of the five turned out to be correct. I think I might just stick to the weekend's from here onwards as I cannot handle the agony of losing twice weekly.
Without further agadoo, here is how my bet went wrong this time:
Game 1: Slovakia vs Liechtenstein
Game 3: Cyprus vs Iceland
Without further agadoo, here is how my bet went wrong this time:
Game 1: Slovakia vs Liechtenstein
Prediction: Home win (Woohoo!)
This had to happen. It would have been ridiculously embarrassing for Slovakia to lose to a team 104 places below them in the FIFA rankings. I suppose this could have been considered a bit of a grudge match considering Slovakia once attempted to steal Liechtenstein. And it certainly was not the friendliest of matches with the referee producing seven yellow cards. But Slovakia won this game reasonably comfortably with a goal in either half. Marek Sapara scored the first with a tap in after most of the Steinies' defence fell over whilst trying to clear a cross. The second came from subsitute Martin Jakubko, who raced through onto a Miroslav Stoch through-ball to beat the onrushing keeper and seal the victory. Following the match, the Slovak's coach Stanislav Griga said "they ruled their universe with absolute power. Well that football field out there, that's our universe." Oh wait, that was Denzel Washington in Remember the Titans...
Game 2: England vs Ukraine
Prediction: Home win (D'oh!)
England, supreme rulers and inventors of football, played host to Ukraine in their second qualifier and took a point, as many of today's newspapers decided that their campaign was doomed due to failure to win one game. Yevgeni Konoplianka gave the visitors the lead in the first half with a splendid long-range strike and it looked like Ukraine would be taking all of the points home, along with one of the corner flags that goalkeeper Andriy Pyatov pinched for a laugh. But much to their disgust, England won a penalty in the closing minutes as the referee forgot that Ukraine had 'any-man-save' and penalised Yevgen Khacherdi for a handball. Fat Frank Lampard calmly placed the kick into the net to give England a point. Their was still time for some late drama as violent thug Steven Gerrard received a second yellow card for his usual violent thuggery, but it was too late to affect the game in any way. Roy Hodgson will probably be pleased with the point and even more pleased that the Flower and Produce Show is almost upon us in The Archers. For some reason, I think he may be a big fan.
Game 3: Cyprus vs Iceland
Prediction: Home win (Woohoo!)
For the first time in the history of this tie, Cyprus have defeated Iceland! Granted, that history only equates to five matches... Iceland created a host of chances with Spurs' midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson in fine form, but the Cypriots dug their heels in and defended well and their hard-work paid-off in the second half when Konstantinos Makridisn scored from 12 yards. Iceland could have equalised just minutes after this goal, but Alfred Finnbogason's effort crashed off the crossbar. With five minutes to go, desperation and frustration got to the visitors as Solvi Ottesen was given his marching orders for using foul and abusive language toward the referee. It has not been widely reported exactly what happened during the exchange of words, but I can confirm that Ottesen said to the official "mamma þín er með rusl ketill", which roughly translates to "your mum has a shit kettle".
Game 4: Paraguay vs Venezuela
Predication: Home wins (D'oh!)
Venezuela boosted their chances of appearing at the World Cup by moving up the South American table and leaving Paraguay trailing at the bottom. Of the table, obviously. It now looks like the home side will not be going to Brazil, at least not on official business. I suppose some of them might go on holiday or to visit their Great Aunt Milagros. Paraguay had looked like the better side for most of the first half, but moments before the break, Venezuela's Cesar Gonzalez played a perfect pass through the defence for Jose Solomon Rondon to open the scoring. And he got his second after half-time when Paraguayan keeper Justo Villar spilled a long range free-kick, allowing him to tap the ball into the net. Interesting fact about Man of the Match Rondon; his name is an anagram of Sod Loners Mojo Noon. So there.
Venezuela boosted their chances of appearing at the World Cup by moving up the South American table and leaving Paraguay trailing at the bottom. Of the table, obviously. It now looks like the home side will not be going to Brazil, at least not on official business. I suppose some of them might go on holiday or to visit their Great Aunt Milagros. Paraguay had looked like the better side for most of the first half, but moments before the break, Venezuela's Cesar Gonzalez played a perfect pass through the defence for Jose Solomon Rondon to open the scoring. And he got his second after half-time when Paraguayan keeper Justo Villar spilled a long range free-kick, allowing him to tap the ball into the net. Interesting fact about Man of the Match Rondon; his name is an anagram of Sod Loners Mojo Noon. So there.
Game 5: Serbia vs Wales
Prediction: Away win (Hahahahahahahahahaha!)
The less said about this the better. So to keep it short and sweet; 6-1, Wales were crap, Grambler was wrong. Boyo.
On a side-note, we all know you're reading this Craig Levein! So come on now, do the honourable thing... Go to the Bobby Moore Fund website and give them some of that massive wage that you are doing nothing to justify!
Things get back to normal at the weekend as league football returns. And a win is definitely forthcoming, I can feel it my ovaries! Please come back on Friday; I'll be your best friend! Until then, consider this quote to help us through these losing times:
"Winners have to absorb losses"
- The great philosopher that is Ice-T (Mr T's son)
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
Week 4.5: More Grambling vicar?
With a major win over the weekend, I simply could not wait a full week to place the next bet. For the first time, I have decided to Gramble during the week! This ranks alongside man walking on the moon, Colonel Sanders inventing chicken and the assassination of Jedward in the most important moments in the history of history.
There are 38 competitive games taking place, mostly this evening with a handful tomorrow evening. I have removed the friendly games as there are some odd ties included there (Belgium Under-23s vs England C Team anyone?) and to reflect the lowered number of games, I have cut the coupon down to five matches.
Our survey says...
Game 1: Slovakia vs Liechtenstein
There are 38 competitive games taking place, mostly this evening with a handful tomorrow evening. I have removed the friendly games as there are some odd ties included there (Belgium Under-23s vs England C Team anyone?) and to reflect the lowered number of games, I have cut the coupon down to five matches.
Our survey says...
Game 1: Slovakia vs Liechtenstein
Prediction: Home win
Since the break-up of Czechoslovakia in 1993, the Slovakian national team seemed to mope around Europe, thinking of their former lovers. Calls were not answered, letters were returned and restraining orders were issued. But after a particularly bad alcohol-fuelled binge in 2009, Slovakia looked at himself in the mirror and said "right, it's time I forgot about that bitch, the Czech Republic. I need to sort myself out and live my life! Eye of the tiger!" And so, Slovakia qualified for the World Cup for the first time. And they were not just there to make up the numbers; they qualified for the final 16 after knocking out holders Italy at the group stage in a game that all the cool kids called 'epic'. Slovakia's attempts to emulate this in Brazil started with a mediocre draw at Lithuania and they will hope to pick up their first win tonight. And what can we say about Liechtenstein? Not a lot actually... Sitting at number 149 in the FIFA rankings, the Steinies as they are better known (by me) have suffered a number of embarrassing defeats over the years. But I'm sure they don't care as they sit with their croissant and a copy of the Financial Times laughing at the fact that every other country in the world has a lower GDP than them. The Steinies kicked off their qualifying campaign with a humiliating 8-1 defeat at home to Bosnia and it is highly unlikely that they will be leaving Bratislava with anything.
Reliability balls: A massive 9/10
Odds on this result: A pitiful 1/50
Game 2: England vs Ukraine
Prediction: Home win
Apparently England actually won the World Cup sometime back in the 1960s, but you very rarely hear about it as the media are so humble and restrained in Britain. In a shocking exposé and top-notch piece of investigative journalism, The Sun today confirmed that since this victory, England have not won a tournament. This will be devastating news to the England players, management and fans, so I expect that it will spur them on to victory in tonight's game. England won their opening qualifier comfortably with a 5-0 win in Moldova to set them up nicely for this game but have a number of players missing out through injury and illness, including influential defender and (alleged) massive racist John Terry. Ukraine did not play at the weekend and will be hoping for a win in this opening game to help their World Cup hopes. As co-hosts of Euro 2012, Ukraine only managed one win resulting in an early exit at the group stage of the tournament. Their elimination was sealed after a defeat to England, during which Ukraine's Marko Devic was denied a goal after (alleged) massive racist John Terry hooked the ball out of the net and the inadequate officials failed to notice. The Ukrainians may well be out for revenge tonight.
Apparently England actually won the World Cup sometime back in the 1960s, but you very rarely hear about it as the media are so humble and restrained in Britain. In a shocking exposé and top-notch piece of investigative journalism, The Sun today confirmed that since this victory, England have not won a tournament. This will be devastating news to the England players, management and fans, so I expect that it will spur them on to victory in tonight's game. England won their opening qualifier comfortably with a 5-0 win in Moldova to set them up nicely for this game but have a number of players missing out through injury and illness, including influential defender and (alleged) massive racist John Terry. Ukraine did not play at the weekend and will be hoping for a win in this opening game to help their World Cup hopes. As co-hosts of Euro 2012, Ukraine only managed one win resulting in an early exit at the group stage of the tournament. Their elimination was sealed after a defeat to England, during which Ukraine's Marko Devic was denied a goal after (alleged) massive racist John Terry hooked the ball out of the net and the inadequate officials failed to notice. The Ukrainians may well be out for revenge tonight.
Reliability balls: 7/10
Odds on this result: 1/2
Game 3: Cyprus vs Iceland
Prediction: Home win
Cyprus make their second Grambler appearance to confirm their status as the Blackburn Rovers of international football. They were supposed to draw with Albania on Friday but failed to do so, losing 3-1. Vincent Laban scored the consolation goal for the Cypriots but they have landed at the foot of their group and it is a position that they are very familiar with from previous qualifying campaigns. Iceland are currently 114th in FIFA's rankings, which is not too bad for the staff team of a discount supermarket captained by a washed-up Aussie actor. However, they had a pleasant start to the qualifiers with a 2-0 victory over Norway, their own Neighbours (yes, that's another Jason Donovan reference. I'm struggling here)... This is the second time in as many qualifying rounds that Cyprus and Iceland have ended up in the same group. In the Euro 2012 round, the two teams took up the bottom places of the group, with the Cypriots being the worst off. The two legs played for that competition are the only competitive matches ever played between the teams; Iceland won at home and the match in Nicosia ended in a goalless draw.
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 8/5
Game 4: Paraguay vs Venezuela
Predication: Home wins
Home wins seem to be the flavour of the week! In South America, the qualifying for the World Cup is well under-way... And Paraguay are rooted to the bottom of their table. with only a win against Ecuador and a draw against Uruguay from their first six games. Having qualified for the last four World Cups and reached the final of last year's Cop America, Paraguay's fans will be expecting more from their team. They also have an amazing national anthem which I can imagine being used to soundtrack a show about a retired drug-lord adapting to life in Somerset in comical fashion. Venezuela have faired slightly better. Two draws and two wins, including one against Argentina, has left them just five points from the top of the group. Having never before qualified for a World Cup tournament, the chance to hop across the border to Brazil in 2014 will be a huge incentive to keep up the good form. A win for Venezuela would also help them to celebrate the Fiesta de Nuestra Señora del Valle which appears to be some kind of festival where they eat a lady who lives in a valley.
Predication: Home wins
Home wins seem to be the flavour of the week! In South America, the qualifying for the World Cup is well under-way... And Paraguay are rooted to the bottom of their table. with only a win against Ecuador and a draw against Uruguay from their first six games. Having qualified for the last four World Cups and reached the final of last year's Cop America, Paraguay's fans will be expecting more from their team. They also have an amazing national anthem which I can imagine being used to soundtrack a show about a retired drug-lord adapting to life in Somerset in comical fashion. Venezuela have faired slightly better. Two draws and two wins, including one against Argentina, has left them just five points from the top of the group. Having never before qualified for a World Cup tournament, the chance to hop across the border to Brazil in 2014 will be a huge incentive to keep up the good form. A win for Venezuela would also help them to celebrate the Fiesta de Nuestra Señora del Valle which appears to be some kind of festival where they eat a lady who lives in a valley.
Reliability balls: 6/10
Odds on this result: 4/7
Odds on this result: 4/7
Game 5: Serbia vs Wales
Prediction: Away win
Meanwhile in Belgrade, Serbia will be hoping to embark on a successful whaling trip. Which would make sense if 'whaling trip' was a euphemism for winning at football. And Serbia wasn't landlocked... Siniša Mihajlović's side managed a goalless draw with the mighty Scotland on Saturday. Serbia had a few chances in this game and defended well, but probably would have lost by at least eight goals if Craig Levein would actually realise that Kenny Miller is past his best. Serbia, in spite of having only existed for two years, have been reasonably successful, qualifying for the 2010 World Cup and coming within a whisker of the play-offs for Euro 2012. The Welsh lost 2-0 at home to Belgium at the weekend, and their defence looked fairly leeky. After the game, manager Chris Coleman said that he was "delighted with the effort" sheepishly. Unfortunately for Coleman, the Wales team making it to the group stages of a tournament is very rare(bit). He will expect his team to bounce back from this defeat against a Serbia. Boyo.
Reliability balls: 4/10
Odds on this result: 7/1
The first game has just kicked off in Cyprus and the last kicks-off after midnight tonight in Asunción so I will have a sleepless night wondering about the outcome of Paraguay vs Venezuela. Odds are poor once again but my £1 bet could possibly bring in £48 and I also have a three-folds bet on in the hope of winning something.
Results will be available at precisely 14:46 tomorrow afternoon.
Results will be available at precisely 14:46 tomorrow afternoon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)