Week 36: What the Hell do we do now!?

You may recall last season ending in rather dramatic fashion with that Aguero stoppage type goal against QPR prising the title from the clutches of Manchester United.  Well, this season is slightly different.  The relegation spots are filled, the title has been decided, runners-up are already in place and unless something ridiculous happens, Chelsea have have third sewn up.  So the only matter of interest is the race for fourth place.  Can you feel the excitement?  No, neither can I.  

There are of course play-off finals taking place which are far more exciting. With places up for grabs in the Championship and Premiership, Brentford will take on Yeovil tomorrow and Crystal Palace play Watford a week on Monday respectively.  And of course the Champions League final takes place next weekend so there is still something to look forward to.  But then, a whole summer without football!  Nooooooooooooooo!

This week's Grambler is made up entirely from Premiership games.  We have the usual three game accumulator and since it's the last round of games of the season... The Super Mega Awesome Grambler!  A ten game accumulator attempting to pick the winners of every Premiership games at random...  This is the bet that will prove whether there really are any footballing Gods supporting The Grambler!

Three game Premiership accumulator

Game - Result - Odds

Tottenham vs Sunderland - Home win - 2/7

West Brom vs Man Utd - Draw - 29/10

Newcastle vs Arsenal - Away win - 11/20

£1 @ 7/1

Oddly, The Grambler has managed to choose the only two games that actually matter in this accumulator, adding a little excitement to the proceedings.  Spurs will be hopeful of bettering Arsenal's result to pinch fourth place and the delicious Champions League football that comes with it.  Sunderland do not need to achieve anything following Wigan's midweek relegation but manager and horrible fascist (lest we forget) Paulo Di Canio might still have to prove to some supporters that he is the man to lead them next season.  Tickets are allegedly changing hands for thousands of pounds ahead of West Brom's tie against Man Utd.  This will of course be Sir Alex Ferguson's last game in charge and perhaps we should expect him to round off an illustrious career with a win.  The Baggies have also had a reasonable season and a point against the Champions would conclude things nicely.  Arsenal travel to Tyneside needing a win to secure fourth spot in the league but given the right results elsewhere, could force a 3rd/4th place play-off with Chelsea.  It is highly unlikely, however.  Newcastle will be relieved to find themselves safe having unexpectedly been dragged into a relegation fight towards the end of the season.  As with most teams at this stage of the season, they will no doubt still send out a strong starting line-up with instructions to win purely for the purposes of selling season tickets for next year.

Super Mega Awesome Grambler! accumulator

Game - Result - Odds

Chelsea vs Everton - Home win - 8/11

Liverpool vs QPR - Draw - 6/1

Man City vs Norwich - Home win - 1/3

Newcastle vs Arsenal - Draw - 18/5

Southampton vs Stoke - Away win - 4/1

Swansea vs Fulham - Home win - 4/5

Spurs vs Sunderland - Draw - 5/1

West Brom vs Man Utd - Away win - 5/6

West Ham vs Reading - Home win - 4/6

Wigan vs Aston Villa - Away win - 13/5

50p @ 44,048/1

Check out those odds!  I am genuinely excited by this bet!  It is so horrendously wrong that it has to be right!  What a perfect way to round of the season that would be too.  I can then sell my story to the Daily Record or some equally poor 'newspaper', write the Grambler book over the summer, start recording my Christmas single in Autumn and by the end of the year, an estimated £1.6 million will on it's way to the Bobby Moore Fund for Bowel Cancer Research!  Not that I'm setting my hopes unreasonably high or anything...

We shall return next week for the final Grambler of the season, a Champions League special. And then, who knows...?

STOP PRESS!!!!
Exciting news as I have decided to add a Eurovision bet to this week's proceedings!  The Grambler has selected Russia, who this year shall be represented by Dina Garipova singing What If (which turns out not to be a Lightning Seeds cover).  I'm not sure about this choice... Russia were robbed last year as the singing grannies of Buranovskiye Babushki were by far the best act of the night but failed to take the gong, maybe this could be their year?  The Russian entry is 16/1 to win outright so I have bet a quid each way and any winnings will go to the usual charidee.  Here is Miss Garipova in action for those of you curious enough...

Week 28: All hail Pope Franny Jeffers the First!

Ah, the excitement of Grambling!  Or it is slightly more exciting anyway, thanks to the New! Improved flavour! Grambler.  Last weekend saw us reach half past 5 in the afternoon with two bets still in with a chance of winning...  That,s right, TWO BETS!!! And in a somewhat strange twist of events... One of them actually won!  Granted, it was only £4.50 (damn you Edin Dzeko, you were supposed to score!) but every little helps as we attempt to bring down the bastarding super-villain better known as El Cancero.  With that win, The Grambler (with help from The Grasmblerzhgi) has raised £88.53 for the Bobby Moore Fund for Bowel Cancer Research.  Hooray!

It makes sense to stick the format which brought mild success last week so we have a further three bets to enjoy this weekend.  If you don't want to know the full-time scores, look away now:

Bet 1: Five game accumulator from all leagues

Game - Result - Odds

Celtic vs Aberdeen - Home win - 1/4

Annan vs Clyde - Home win - 4/5

Coventry vs Hartlepool - Home win - 8/11

MK Dons vs Tranmere - Draw - 9/4

Forfar vs Stenhousemuir - Away win - 23/10

50p @ 41/1

"It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes..."   So sang William Hague, or some other person; I'm not really sure.  Such is the excitement of this week's opening bet.  Can ya feel it!?  No?  Ok , it is slightly dull and for some reason, Coventry keep appearing - perhaps taking all of their turns whilst the club still exists?  There is a potential slip-up for SPL leaders Celtic as Aberdeen travel South... Annan vs Clyde sounds more like a case being dragged through the civil law courts...  Tranmere will still be hopeful of topping League One and a win in Milton Keynes could move them to second spot...  And Stenhousemuir are just not going to beat Forfar but will enjoy the trip and have the chance to stop for some bridies on the way home.

Bet 2: Three game accumulator from the Premiership

Game - Result - Odds

Tottenham vs Fulham - Home win - 4/9

Aston Villa vs QPR - Draw - 12/5

Man Utd vs Reading - Home win - 1/7

£1 @ 4.6/1

In this weekend's actually interesting bet, the odds are low but the chances of winning are (hopefully) high.  We start at White Hart Lane where Spurs take on Fulham.  Spurs are one of the top teams on form in the Premiership right now but a loss to Liverpool last weekend prevented them from cementing their stranglehold on third place.  Speaking of form, Aston Villa are a bit crap.  The gamble of bringing in Paul Lambert as manager has not quite paid off, but the fans don't mind because he's not Alex McLeish.  Speaking of managers, QPR's Harry Redknapp... Actually, I'm not going to bother.  In other QPR news, on-loan Spurs winger Andros Townsend this week admitted that he's not Gareth Bale, ending month's of speculation.  And a formality to round things off as champions-elect Man Utd take on managerless relegation-fodder Reading.  And according to one journalist, Brian McDermott got the sack because owner Anton Zingarevic didn't find him sexy enough.  Paulo di Canio seems to have emerged as a frontrunner for the vacancy; a folk- hero loved by the people for his crazy antics.  Like being a horrible, violent, self-professed fascist.  Ah crazy Paulo, what will he do next?

Bet 3: Three goalscorer 'anytime' accumulator

Scorer - Game - Odds

Wayne Rooney - Man Utd vs Reading - 1/2

Santi Cazorla - Swansea vs Arsenal - 9/4

Shane Long - Stoke vs West Brom - 9/4

50p @ 15/1

This week's 'anytime goalscorer' bet kicks off with a man who has been in the news a lot recently.  Sir Alex Ferguson this week assured the fans that Wayne Rooney would not be sold at the end of the season, which in Sir's terms generally means he's going to sell him at the end of the season.  Rooney is getting slower, fatter, balder and uglier (wasn't that a Daft Punk song?), but PSG have been linked with a big-money move for the man who can still score plenty of goals.  Santi Cazorla has been one of the brighter points of Arsenal's season as they have crashed out of competition after competition.  Following their narrow failure to survive in the Champions League this week, Arsene Wenger will be expecting a positive reaction.  Can Cazorla assist with a goal?  All signs point to maybe... And finally, Shane Long has already provided West Brom with a respectable six goals this season.  But unfortunately for him, the only reason anyone remembers his name is because he has partenered Simon Cox for club and country.  Making a strike duo of Long - Cox.  Fnar fnar!

A humongous total of £50 is up for grabs this week as The Grambler promises all of the excitement of an episode of Fun House, but without the fun house.  Or the mullet.  Or the go-karts.  Or the twins.  Or the chance to win a fleece.  There is actually very little by way of comparison now that I think about it...

Week 16: Celebrating 100 years of Albanian independence!

From the desk of Tony Fernandes (Chairman), Queens Park Rangers Football Club 
Minutes of interview with applicant for position of manager, Harold Redknapp (excerpt)
Friday, 23rd November 2012

H. Redknapp: "...and it looks like you've got a t'riffic bunch o' lads at the club.  They can play some t'riffic football.  They really are a top, top bunch o' lads."

T. Fernandes: "Great!  I am very excited by the prospect of working with you Harold and would not hesitate to offer you the job.  Do you have any questions first of all?"

H. Redknapp: "Well, there is just one thing...

T. Fernandes: "Yes?"

H. Redknapp: "About my wages..."

T. Fernandes: "Hmmm?"

H. Redknapp: "Could you pay them to my offshore bank account in the Cayman Islands?"

T. Fernandes: "Certainly, that shouldn't be a problem!"

H. Redknapp: "And can you make it payable to my dead dog Mr Scruffles?"

T. Fernandes: "Okay..."

H. Redknapp: "And could you officially unveil a past-the-sell-by-date tin of jellied eels as the manager of the club?  Just for, y'know, tax purposes..."

T. Fernandes: "That's a bit strange but I suppose so..."

H. Redknapp: "Lovely jubbly!"

End of transcription

All of the above definitely happened (unless you happen to be a legal representative of H. Redknapp, in which case it definitely did not happen).

I am a tad short of time this week as I am attending the first Meeting of United Gramblers Associated for Betting Enhancement (MUGABE for short).  Therefore, I shall be providing a short summary of each game whilst applying my learnings from Joey Barton's School of the French Language. 

Game 1: Arsenal vs Swansea City
Prediction: Home win
"Zee Arsenal are... 'owyousay... due grande win.  Swan sea 'ave been très bien this season.  Will be le good game!" 
Reliability onions: 6/10
Odds on this result: 2/5

Game 2: Acrington Stanley vs Oxford United
Prediction: Home win
"Sacre Bleu, ees the FA Cup!  Oxford win 5-0 against Acrington in league, non? La fromage!"  
Reliability onions: 5/10
Odds on this result: 11/8

Game 3: Stenhousemuir vs Falkirk
Prediction: Away win
"What is zee Stenhousemuir?  Ees eet made of poulet?  Falkirk maybe win thees.  Zut alors!"
Reliability onions: 4/10
Odds on this result: 17/20

Game 4: Lincoln City vs Mansfield Town
Prediction: Draw
"Both teams ees Conference team.  So zee cup ees zee big baguette!  Je suis la football." 
Reliability onions: 6/10
Odds on this result: 12/5

Game 5: Peterborough United vs Blackpool
Prediction: Home win
"Ah oui, zee Blackpool avec zee crappy Eiffel Tower! Le Posh are... 'owyousay... le pish?"
Reliability onions: 4/10
Odds on this result: 19/10

There is yer bet for this week, with additional ridiculing of Joey Barton and potentially mild racism.  Now run to your local bookmakers, run as fast as you can, and place this bet with odds of 60/1.  Tell them that the Grambler sent you and get a free look of confusion.

Week 15 Results: With 100% added lost bet!

This week I have learned that 100% more bets is not equal to 100% more wins.  I have also learned that Chelsea fans hold grudges if you belittle their plastic flags and are rather fickle when it comes to the sacking and appointment (and subsequent sacking) of managers.  In order to avoid alienating them thus causing a backlash against The Grambler, I'd better not mention their piss-poor plastic flags and pathetic treatment of Rafa Benitez on his début...

With an accuracy rate of just 40% for both bets, my prophecy of a at least one win this weekend went unfulfilled.  Speaking of prophecies, there are only 25 days to go until the end of the world!  (And I still haven't put up that damned towel-rail...)  This also means that we only have three more sessions of Grambling left to win that vast fortune which was predicted by our forefathers.  Although, we are all going to be dead by Christmas anyway so it doesn't really matter too much.    

Game 1: Brighton & Hove Albion vs Bolton Wanderers
Prediction: Home win ( x )
Just out of interest, is a bright-on what a light bulb gets when it is aroused?  Okay, enough filament related filth... This prediction came oh-so-close to being a reality.  And I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for that meddling David Ngog!  The Seagulls dominated the first half and could easily have had the points sealed by the break.  In the 14th minute, Craig Mackail-Smith raced into the box and crossed only for the ball to be blocked by the hand of Darren Pratley.  The referee awarded a penalty but Brighton's Ashley Barnes failed to convert, with Bolton's Adam Bogdan making the save.  Did I mention that Bogdan is Ron Weasely?  Because he is.  Andrea Orlandi and Dean Hammond both saw their attempts on goal hit Bogdan's crossbar in the first half and the game remained goalless at the break.  In the second-half, Smith became the third luckless Brighton player to strike the bar but his team soon took the lead; an Orlandi freekick was cleared to the edge of the box where it found Bruno Saltor, who struck the ball into the bottom corner.  Wanderers created few chances but Tomasz Kuszczak had to be alert to save from Jacob Butterfield.  However, it was just not to be Albion's day.  In the sixth minute of stoppage time and with the very last kick of the ball, Ngog struck to claim a point and extend manager Dougie Freedman's (and Bolton's) unbeaten run to five games.

Game 2: Swansea City vs Liverpool
Prediction: Draw ( ✔ )
Brendan Rodgers's lauded return to Swansea failed to live up to the hype as the match ended in a somewhat drab goalless draw.  The Reds looked to be the better team from the offset and came close to leading when Raheem Sterling's sterling volley struck the crossbar.  Minutes later, Liverpool had the ball in the back of the net via Luis Enrique's back-post shot, but the linesman was having none of it, flagging for offside much to the annoyance of popular Liverpudlian entertainer Cilla Black.  Probably.  Swansea boss Michael Laudrup changed tactics at half-time and introduced Ki Sung-yeung and the gamble appeared to pay-off with City enjoying a strong period after the break.  Cap'n Ashley Williams headed a powerful shot on goal from a corner only to see his former Swansea team-mate Joe Allen clear from the line.  Swansea had the chance to take the lead in the dying moments of the match when Allen brought down Ki on the edge of the box, but Pepe Reina saved a fierce shot from Swans winger and most Spanish sounding Spanish-man in the history of Spanish-men Pablo Hernández Domínguez.  Reports that he was wearing a sombrero and eating paella at the time have yet to be confirmed. 

Game 3: East Fife vs Arbroath
Prediction: Home win ( ✔ )
Billy Brown watched his East Fife win at home for the first time in a hard-fought win at the New Bayview Stadium.  The match started brightly when Arbroath's player/manager/tea-lady Paul Sheerin hit a long-range effort forcing Fifers keeper Calum Antel into a fine save in just the 2nd minute.  One minute later and the action was at the other end of the pitch, where Scott McBride struck the post with a shot from the edge of the area.  Ten minutes later, East Fife opened the scoring; the lively Bobby Barr crossed from the left-wing for Sean Jamieson to score his first goal of the season.  But the visitors were to pull level close to the break when a Steven Doris shot deflected off his team-mate Paul Currie and into the net.  The Fifers took just two minutes to restore their lead after the interval, via another long-range effort from McBride.  The midfielder tried his luck from 25 yards and was rewarded with a cracking goal.  Currie was to come close to equalising once again but his strike bounced off the crossbar.   Brown said of the match “ni povus estis kvar aŭ kvin ĝis la paŭzo kaj mi estis vere feliĉaj per niaj deziro tie" demonstrating both his pleasure at his sides desire and his fluency in Esperanto.

Game 4: Barnsley vs Cardiff City
Prediction: Draw ( x )
Cardiff moved top of the table following a win at Barnsley coupled with Crystal Palace's defeat in Leeds.  The bluebirds took the lead in the 22nd minute when teenager Ben Nugent marked his first league start with a goal.  Peter Whittingham provided the assist via a corner and the defender headed home.  Stephen Dawson and Marcus Tudgay both squandered chances for the home-side before half-time and six minutes after the break, the visitors doubled their lead.  Aron Gunnarsson found himself unmarked at the back-post and headed in from another Whittingham corner.  The Tykes were given some hope when Jacob Mellis slotted home in the 71st minute and were even presented with a one-man advantage as Cardiff débutant Simon Lappin received a second yellow card.  However, they failed to make the most of their chances and have now taken just two points from their last seven games.  Oddly enough, this was Cardiff's first victory wearing their traditional blue shirts this season.  Following the furore surrounding the business-minded switch to red in the summer, City have only worn blue as a change strip but amidst poor away form, they had yet to win in their 'old' colours.  So... ahem... Despite their fans originally getting shirty about it, the team have been red-hot in their new colours but have given fans the blues in their traditional strips.  Please hold your applause until the end!  

Game 5: Aston Villa vs Arsenal
Prediction: Home win ( x )
Well this was a bit of a damp squib.  Incidentally, does anyone actually know what a squib is?  According to the Oxford English Dictionary (and by proxy, Susie Dent) a squib is 'a small firework that burns with a hissing sound before exploding.'  You cannot say that The Grambler does not educate!  The only talking point from the first half was Villa's Andreas Weimann having a shot ruled-out for offside.  And in spite of what his name may suggest, Weimann is actually 6ft 2in...  The second half had more action with Aaron Ramsey coming close for the Gunners whilst at the other end Brett Holman forced the constenant-friendly Arsenal keeper Szczesny into a fine save.  The point earned helped to move the Villains out of the relegation zone but for Arsenal, it was a missed chance to overtake fifth-placed Everton.  Speaking after the match, Arsene Wenger said "we played with three strikers, but that doesn't mean you score goals.  We are a very offensive team."  Meanwhile, Arsenal strikers Santa Cazorla, Lukas Podolski and Olivier Giroud lurked in the background making mildly rude hand gestures and vociferating various synonyms for both male and female genitalia.

And here's how that SUPER MAGNIFICENT BONUS BET went:

Game: Both teams to score?, Odds
Miton Keynes Dons vs Colchester United: Yes, 10/11 ( ✔ )
Brechin City vs Forfar athletic: No, 7/4 ( x )
Charlton Athletic vs Huddersfield Town: No, 11/10 ( x )
Tottenham Hotspur vs West Ham: No, 11/10 ( x )
Everton vs Norwich City: Yes, 4/6 ( ✔ )

Hmm, not too well it would appear.  It was worth a shot.  This segment may return fleetingly where I can be bothered.    

Overall, I shall be marking this week down as 'could try harder.'  Perhaps next time will be the one.  Or the one after that.  Or the one after that.  And then we are all dead.  But it's best not to worry about that for now....

"After all, tomorrow is another day."

- Margaret Mitchell
(or Suggs) 

Week 15: With 100% added bet!

It's been a sacktastic week in football as Roberto Di Matteo pipped Mark Hughes to become the first Premiership P45-recipient of the season.  Steve Rafa Benitez has already taken over at Chelsea in a move that has both SHOCKED and SURPRISED the footballing world.  And ol' stroke-features himself Harry Redknapp the Loveable Tax-Evader looks set to take the job at QPR.  Will these managerial changes make a difference?  Doesn't matter to me, whatever The Grambler says goes around these parts. 
  
I'm warning you now, we have a terrible bet this week.  I normally try to be as optimistic as possible regardless of the outcome, but it seems like The Grambler has just gone out of his/her/its way to be awkward this week and picked a set of results that are just not going to happen.  For that reason, I have provided a bonus bet at the end; one that can't possibly go wrong!  Unless of course it goes wrong...  As it inevitably will...  In which case it can go wrong...

Read on, my good man/woman/person!

Game 1: Brighton & Hove Albion vs Bolton Wanderers
Prediction: Home win
Sports teams are often associated with birds for a reason; they are graceful creatures which soar through the sky freely and can be mastered by no man.  In the world of basketball, you can find the Atlanta Hawks, named for a fierce creature known to tear apart it's prey.  In Rugby Union, the Newcastle Falcons, named for a bird known for its speed and razor-sharp talons.  And then in football, you can find Brighton: The Seagulls, known for being a disease-ridden nuisance that jobby on people's heads from a great height.  It is little surprise that they are not the most feared in the Championship.  But Brighton have been hanging around the top of the division for a number of seasons and currently find themselves 7th.  Some good wins this year have been offset by a few too many draws, but they are only twice defeated at home.  And whilst over-analysing animalistic nicknames, we have Bolton... In the Championship alone, you can find Lions, Wolves and Tigers.  And then you have the mighty... Trotters.  Invoking images of pigs waddling around a sty in their own faeces.  Fearsome!  Since Dougie Freedman's arrival as manager, Bolton have gone unbeaten but have drawn 75% of games under his rule.  There is huge potential for a draw here but I reckon the home-side might just win it.    
Reliability balls: 7/10
Odds on this result: 11/10


Game 2: Swansea City vs Liverpool
Prediction: Draw
From Seagulls to Swans; the swan being a far more graceful bird and City have been one of the most graceful teams to, erm... grace the premiership in recent seasons.  Michael Laudrup's Swansea have carried over their good-form from last year's surprisingly good Premiership début and the team currently sit 10th in the league following a fine 2-1 victory over Newcastle last weekend.  Cap'n Ashley Williams has caused controversy this week with the well timed release of his book (seriously, does every footballer just automatically get a book deal these days?  Does anyone even know who Ashley Williams is?) featuring comments about wanting to 'knock-out' Luis Saurez for his diving.  Please do, Ashley.  Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers was dismissive of these jibes: "He's a good lad. Maybe it was something he didn't mean to get out there."  Yeah, because of course, if you didn't mean to get quotes out there, you would put them in a book...Liverpool will be looking to bounce back from a disappointing midweek draw against a bunch of young boys and could leapfrog their opponents in the Premiership table with a victory.
Reliability balls: 5/10
Odds on this result: 5/2


Game 3: East Fife vs Arbroath
Prediction: Home win
East Fife have not had the ideal start to the season.  Having been rooted to the bottom of the Second Division since the start of the season, they took just two points from the first eight games and endured a painful 5-1 defeat at Elgin.  Meanwhile, manager Gordon Durie had to take leave due to illness, leaving them manager-less.  Fortunately for East Fife, the appointment of Billy Brown earlier this month has brought some stability to the club and a 3-0 win over Albion Rovers last week has lifted them out of the relegation zone.  Unfortunately for East Fife, Bob Malcolm plays for them.  Arbroath are seven points ahead of their opponents in the league and have been in good form at home, winning four of six.  However, their away form has not been so good, with only one win in six attempts.   Arbroath have not lost a match to the Fifers since March 2010 and the teams have drawn three times in six ties since then.  Also, what do you call a pirates favourite football team?  Arrrrrrrbroath!
Reliability balls:
Odds on this result: 6/4


Game 4: Barnsley vs Cardiff City
Prediction: Draw
Or alternatively, Barrrrrrrrrrnsley!  The Tykes play host to second-placed Cardiff this weekend as they bid to move away from the relegation zone to the comfort of mid-table mediocrity.  Barnsley have played eight home games already this season, winning two, drawing three and losing three.  They have only managed to score six goals in their ties at Oakwell so do not expect a high-scoring game.  Débuts could be offered to their three new loan signings Emile Sinclair, Jonathan Greening and Akos Buzsaky. Cardiff are challenging for the top-spot and the chance to become the second Welsh team in the Premiership.  They currently sit two points from top side Crystal Palace and are looking for a third win in a row.  At home, City have a 100% record, but they appear to be complacent on the road and have amassed five losses away from home.  The Bluebirds (there is a real 'bird' thing going on this week) signed Norwich defender Simon Lappin on loan midweek and he could start tomorrow.  Interesting aside: Lappin takes his name from the French phrase "si mon lapin" translating as "if my rabbit."  Probably. 
Reliability balls: 4/10
Odds on this result: 12/5 


Game 5: Aston Villa vs Arsenal
Prediction: Home win
Struggling Aston Villa take on underachieving Arsenal in a game that the media have dubbed 'the Battle of the Only Two Teams in the Premiership Whose Names Begin With the Letter A.'  Possibly.  Villa currently inhabit a spot in the relegation zone thanks to their faltering start to the season.  They have only won a single game at home this season, against Swansea back in September.  Manager Paul Lambert will be serving a one-match dugout suspension so expect him to be sitting in the stands duetting with some X-Factor reject girl singing this song.  Meanwhile, Arsenal have not been having a bad season but fans will be disappointed to look at the table and see both West Brom and Everton above them.  The Gunners secured passage to the next stage of the Champions League with a 2-0 victory over Montpellier on Wednesday and Arsene Wenger will expect another victory here.  There has also been good news for fans of the Arse' this week as the team agreed a sponsorship deal worth £150 million.  With that kind of money at his disposal, expect Wenger to dig deep in January to unearth the next Carl Jenkinson.
Reliability balls: 3/10
Odds on this result: 4/1

The total odds for this week's Gramblings are 312/1.  Not going to happen, is it?

Hence why I have decided to include the GRAMBLER SUPER BONUS BET!  Last week, I placed a bet for myself using the 'both teams to score' market.  Tis pretty straight forward; the question is will both teams score?  The answer is either YES! (in which case both teams score) or NO! (in which case either one team won't score or both teams won't score).  Anyhow, I won some money on this and thought "hmm, this could be Grambled up a bit!"  As their are two outcomes rather than three, it could provide more chance of winning so it's worth a bash!  Five games, a 50p bet, no jibberish.... And we get:

Game: Both teams to score?, Odds
Miton Keynes Dons vs Colchester United: Yes, 10/11
Brechin City vs Forfar athletic: No, 7/4
Charlton Athletic vs Huddersfield Town: No, 11/10
Tottenham Hotspur vs West Ham: No, 11/10
Everton vs Norwich City: Yes, 4/6

Total odds on the GRAMBLER SUPER BONUS BET are 39/1.

Will the main bet shock us all and come good?  Will the bonus bet be the saviour of The Grambler?  Will Captain  Delbert Gugliuzza be able to disarm the bomb whilst simultaneously evacuating all of the orphans from the building?  Tune in on Monday (or Tuesday) to find out!